Elven Hearts
by anonymous slashlover
Summary: Glorfindel comes to Imladris to help out Elrond, but he only makes everyone's lives a living hell; slash, my first attempt at writing a fic. Fixed the chapters so they make sense now!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: They're not mine. Enough said.  
Warnings: some rough slightly non-consensual sex (kinda rape), angst  
Notes: This is AU, so if you don't like that, don't read this. Also, feedback would be wonderful.  
More Notes: Stuff in italics is thoughts or flashbacks

* * *

It was a chill morning as Elrond walked down the hallway and paused outside one of the doors. He thought at least twice before knocking gently, almost as if he didn't wish to be heard. But the elf within was hardly hard of hearing. The door opened a few seconds later, and a beautiful, if tired, face appeared. A smile graced Erestor's face when he saw Elrond. "Good morning, my lord."

"Good morning, Erestor," said Elrond genially. "Are you ready to go?"

"Give me a moment," said Erestor, opening the door. He was wearing only a pair of leggings, hardly an outfit to greet a guest. Well, considered Elrond, that depended on the type of guest. Erestor turned from the door, clearly allowing Elrond to enter if he chose. Erestor then walked over to his closet and selected a black robe that emphasized his slender form, but still allowed for easy and comfortable movement. After slipping that on, he pulled back his hair inelegantly, just to keep the flowing black locks out of his face. Then he turned back to Elrond, who had been watching every move. "Okay, my lord, I'm ready."

"You are aware, Erestor, that it is within your right to call me Elrond. We fought together, you've lived here for centuries."

"Yes, my lord. I recall that you tell me every morning. But that doesn't change anything. Certain…niceties must be observed." He smiled slightly. "But we have a guest waiting for us, do we not?"

Now it was Elrond's turn to smile. "Well, no."

Erestor frowned. "So, will you then explain to me what I am doing up and around and dressed in my best clothes well before the time I normally get up? I mean, my lord, I am honored to spend time in your company, but this is too early."

Elrond grinned. "Our guest will be here shortly, and because we are good people, we will be waiting for him to arrive." Cautiously, he placed a hand on Erestor's shoulder. Erestor shot him a Look, but said nothing, and made no move to remove the hand.

As they began to walk towards the front entrance (Elrond's hand still on Erestor's shoulder), Erestor asked, "My lord, is our guest really who they say he is? There have been a lot of rumors, and I would like to hear the truth."

"Yes, it is. Glorfindel of Gondolin is coming to live with us." He noticed a sly smile creep onto Erestor's face and asked, "Why do you ask?"

"I knew Glorfindel a long time ago. Before he became famous. I imagine he is even more intolerable now than he was then."

"Well, you're the one that's going to be dealing with him."

"Dealing with him, my lord?" Erestor paused in the hallway and turned to look at Elrond. "The Glorfindel that I knew might have needed a lot of things, but certainly not 'dealing with'. Or has something changed that I need know about?"

"These are dark times, Erestor. We will need all the security we can have. And you, of all people, can assure me that we have that security."

Erestor's face became slightly harsher, but he nodded. "Very well, then, my lord. Let us hope that Glorfindel does not recognize me, then. Or things will go…less than well between the two of us."

They resumed walking. Elrond pondered what Erestor had just told him, and couldn't help but ask, "Why, may I ask?"

Erestor, this time, did not so much as look at him. "Don't ask me that, my lord, and I will not have to lie to you." He pulled slightly away from Elrond, forcing the removal of Elrond's hand from Erestor's shoulder. Erestor strode on ahead down the hall, mumbling to himself. Elrond watched him go, shaking his head slightly. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that Erestor was beautiful. He got plenty of attention from elves of both sexes. And, to the best of Elrond's knowledge, he was indiscriminate about his partners. The only slight hitch was that Erestor did not appear to believe in commitment. His relationships were, at best, one-night stands.

Elrond had once approached Erestor in this capacity. He had been lonely, and had figured that any company would be welcome company. To his surprise, Erestor had turned him down. In his calm, sedate manner, completely formal, Erestor had told him that it would not be proper, and that it would lead to him inevitably having to leave. Elrond had protested that, but that had been the end of it. Since then, Erestor had become very distant from Elrond in a personal manner. In his professional capacity, nothing had changed, but gone were the evenings in which the two drank together, or played chess, or simply watched the stars. Elrond had been left even more alone than before he had approached Erestor, and that had done little for his sanity. Nor had Elrond ever been able to glean the real reason that Erestor so shied away from commitment. He did not suppose that he would ever know. With a sigh, he shook his head again, and continued to walk down the hall.

Erestor emerged into the cool air of the courtyard. The sky had that not-quite-yet morning feel to it. Erestor detested getting up early, so it was rare that he saw this almost-magical time of the day. But seeing it brought back memories, some good, some not so good. But that was in a past best forgotten, and one that he had largely managed to do so.

He was surprised to realize that he had to force a smile onto his face. There was no reason for him to be upset that Glorfindel was coming to stay. No, that wasn't true. There was no reason, he corrected himself, for him to be upset after Glorfindel arrived and consequently acted as if he did not exist. He smiled at these almost-adolescent ponderings and focused on the gate. The somewhat melancholy smile remained fixed firmly on his face.

That smile was the first thing that Elrond saw upon his entering the courtyard. The smile immediately sent a chill down Elrond's spine, though he could not have said why. Elrond walked over to Erestor and stood by his side, though not close enough that they were touching. "What troubles you, my friend?" asked Elrond softly.

Erestor looked up at him. "Nothing, my lord. I am well."

Elrond was about to point out the obvious fallacy of this statement when the single horse entered the courtyard. The tall, slender, (admittedly beautiful), golden-haired elf dismounted and saw the two elves. He walked over to Elrond and bowed deeply. "My lord," he said, "it is an honor to meet you."

Elrond smiled. "And you."

Glorfindel then looked at the slightly shorter elf standing near Lord Elrond. "Take care of my horse, Lord Elrond and I need discuss some matters."

Erestor clenched his jaw, but stepped forward, bowed his head slightly, and said, "Of course, my lord Glorfindel."

* * *

Elrond could tell that Erestor was angry by his swift footsteps and brisk manner in dealing with the horse. Erestor's acquiescence also surprised him. Had anyone else in Imladris asked Erestor to stable a horse, as though he was some commoner, you would be lucky to escape with your life. Yet Erestor had yielded to Glorfindel without even a word of protest.

"My lord," said Glorfindel, trying to draw Elrond's attention away from the other elf. "We have business to discuss."

"Yes, we do," said Elrond, turning towards the house, but sparing one last second to look at Erestor leading the horse towards the stables. _I am sorry, my friend_ Elrond couldn't help but think. I_ am sorry that you are going to have to deal with Glorfindel when you two obviously have a troubled past. I will find some way to make it up to you, whatever it takes._

* * *

Erestor was telling himself not to be surprised at Glorfindel's greeting, but it hurt all the same. But he was old enough and rational enough not to allow his anger, annoyance, or sadness get in the way of his life, and so when he caught himself being rather short-tempered with Glorfindel's beautiful horse, he apologized to it. It was not the horse's fault that its owner was a horrible elf. After stabling the horse (and quite possibly ruining his best robes), Erestor turned to go back into the house. He would wait until later to go see Elrond and ask (beg if it really became necessary) to get out of having to, as Elrond so succinctly put it, 'deal with' Glorfindel.

* * *

"You told me in your message that my arrival was urgent, my lord," said Glorfindel. "Yet when I arrive, there seems to be not even the slightest sign of urgency. I do not mean to be disrespectful, but I did have business elsewhere. I would be glad to stay here as long as I am needed, but as far as I can tell, I am not needed at all."

"There have been a much higher percentage of orc on my border than at any time in the past. I do not like such filth coming so close to my people…"

"You wish me to rid your borders of orc? Surely you have enough capable elves to do that yourself?"

"If it were that simple, yes, I have plenty of elven warriors. But I fear that there is some darker plot, to take Imladris from me. This has ever been a sanctuary, and I will not allow it to be destroyed, not in my lifetime."

"So, Lord Elrond, what exactly is it that you are asking me to do, for I must confess I am a little confused."

"I need you to become a spy. And I need you to become an assassin."

* * *

Erestor fairly collapsed on his bed. He lay there for some time, his eyes closed, wishing he could be somewhere, anywhere else. The first thought that came to mind was that he should leave Imladaris immediately. But that struck him as a very childish thing to do, and he prided himself on being slightly grown-up. And that meant facing his problems, not running from them. The only problem was that he had been running from this particular problem for a very long time. Time passed and he knew he should get up and start his daily duties, but he found that he had no energy at all. He hoped in vain that no one would notice his absence.

Until the knock on the door came. Erestor ignored it. Then he heard Elrond say, "I'll give you to the count of three to open this door, Erestor. I know fine well that you're in there." Erestor looked at the door with mild amusement. Did Elrond really think that that would intimidate him in the least?

"Go away," he called.

The door opened and Elrond came in.

"What part of 'go away' did you not comprehend?" snapped Erestor in annoyance.

"I'm sorry, Erestor. I should have asked you before I sent for him to come. I didn't know that there would be such…bad chemistry between the two of you." He saw that Erestor was still in his formal robes, now covered in dirt from dealing with the horse. "Come on, Erestor. You need to get up."

"Remind me why, my lord."

Very carefully, Elrond reached over and rested his hand on Erestor's wrist. To his surprise, Erestor took Elrond's hand and squeezed it lightly. Trying to keep some control over his emotions, Elrond decided it would be best to answer Erestor's question. "Because you are the person that keeps this place running. We'd be lost without you."

"Ah. So I suppose you wouldn't let me resign."

"I would much rather kick Glorfindel out. I know fully well that you could do everything I want him to do."

"Yes, I could. But who would take care of this place while I was gone?" Erestor sat up, a decidedly ugly grimace on his face. "But I am a grown-up and I will deal with my problems. You needn't trouble yourself about me, my lord. I will be fine." Erestor released Elrond's hand. Elrond knew that their moment of intimacy was over and was not to be pressed.

So Elrond stood up. "Then I will see you in an hour in my study. It is time for you, me, and Glorfindel to have a little chat."

* * *

"I am afraid," said Elrond, "That we cannot just take you as you are."

Glorfindel couldn't help but feel slightly offended by this statement. Lord Elrond should be glad that he came, let alone make demands of him. "What exactly do you mean by that statement?" he asked.

Elrond could sense Glorfindel's hostility, but didn't care. Glorfindel had upset Erestor, and that automatically made Elrond dislike Glorfindel. "I mean, Glorfindel, that you will need some extra…training by one of my best warriors in order for you to have any chance of succeeding."

Glorfindel raised an eyebrow. "If you have an excellent warrior, then why can he not do it in my place?"

"Because he is needed here." Elrond glanced at the door. Erestor was more than twenty minutes late. As Erestor had never been late for anything in his life, Elrond knew that these were going to be trying days. Elrond knew that they needed Glorfindel. But it was also very important to him that Erestor stayed here. Because, try as he might, Elrond was completely obsessed with Erestor and would do anything to keep him around.

Then the door opened and Erestor walked in. He was dressed casually, in loose clothes that (in Elrond's opinion, anyway) made him look better than in any formal wear. "Good morning, my lords," he said respectfully.

"This is your warrior?" asked Glorfindel.

Erestor found the courage to look at Glorfindel. "Yes, my lord."

"Lord Glorfindel, this is Erestor. He will train you to the best of his ability." Elrond managed to catch Erestor's eye and saw the overwhelming depression in them. Taking a deep breath, he managed to continue. "Your mission will begin only when Erestor tells me that you are ready to begin. That is all, Lord Glorfindel. I would like a word with Erestor alone."

"As you wish, my lord," said Glorfindel. Then he turned to Erestor. "At what time will my first lesson be?"

"After we eat our evening meal, in the courtyard," replied Erestor, barely thinking at all.

"Until then." Glorfindel walked out.

Erestor immediately turned to Elrond. "I cannot do this, my lord. Please, is there no other way that this can work?"

Elrond strode forward and pulled Erestor into a tight embrace. Erestor did not fight it; he simply leaned on Elrond, as if gathering strength from him. Softly, Elrond said, "We will make it work, love. He is just one, and I know you are stronger than that. Promise me that you will give this a fair chance."

Erestor smiled a little. It felt good to be in someone's arms again, even if that someone happened to be Elrond. But right now, that didn't matter much. He just needed comfort, and this was likely the only place he stood a chance of receiving it. Certainly, he knew that he was considered attractive by many, but truly he wanted commitment, and that had to be based on more than just looks. And that was why he had turned Elrond down, all those decades ago. Elrond was someone that Erestor treasured as a friend, and, with his luck in relationships, would only succeed in driving him away. So, it had been in everyone's best interests for Erestor to say no, as much as he had wanted to accept. "I don't know, my lord."

"You know I'm here for you, Erestor. For whatever."

Erestor nodded. "Yes, I know." He shuddered slightly. Now he was letting himself get too close again. He pulled out of Elrond's arms (as much as he didn't want to) and said, "There's work I must get done, my lord."

Elrond could tell that Erestor was hurting, but there was nothing he could do until Erestor opened up to him. And the chances of that, he knew, were next to nothing. Erestor could live completely inside of himself. But Elrond wanted to help Erestor, and so would do as much as he could to make Erestor's life pleasant while Glorfindel was here.

* * *

Erestor sat down at the midday meal with a glum look on his face. He didn't look up as he heard another set of footsteps enter the room; he assumed that it was Elrond. But then he heard Glorfindel say, "Erestor, is it?"

Erestor looked up. "Yes, my lord."

Glorfindel sat down beside him. "I do not mean to offend, my lord…"

"I am no lord. Just Erestor."

"Very well. Erestor, I mean this in the kindest way possible. I have never heard of you, but if Lord Elrond claims you are a skilled warrior, I will believe him. However, I am almost certain that I am more skilled than you. I have pressing matters elsewhere, so it would be easiest for me to get this done as quickly as possible. Therefore, I would appreciate it if we could dispense with these lessons you are supposed to be giving me. I'm sure you understand."

"Certainly, my lord Glorfindel. I shall consider it."

"Thank you." Glorfindel rose and left the room. He preferred to eat on his own, and certainly not in the company of an obviously depressed elf.

* * *

When Elrond walked in and saw the expression on Erestor's face, he could only guess that Glorfindel had beaten him here. Without any hesitation, Elrond walked over and put his hand on Erestor's shoulder. Erestor shuddered, and so Elrond said, "It's just me, love."

"Glorfindel had a good idea."

"And what was that?"

"That I simply tell you that he is ready to begin. I mean, at least I won't…"

"Erestor, you're not getting out of training him. I know you don't want to. I want to help you, Erestor, but you're going to have to open up to me a little first. You know I care about you, please let me help you."

"My lord…"

"My name is Elrond, Erestor. Not 'my lord'."

Erestor rose to his feet, a blank, expressionless look on his face. "I find I am not as hungry as I thought. I shall see you later, my lord." Briskly, he walked out of the room.

Elrond mentally cursed himself for trying to push things too far too fast. Erestor was already in a bad mood due to Glorfindel's presence, and he now realized that he wasn't helping by continually flirting with him. So he resolved that from now until Erestor gave him some sign that he was interested in being more than friends, he would not push their relationship further.

* * *

Erestor managed to avoid both Elrond and Glorfindel for the rest of the day. He avoided Glorfindel for obvious reasons, but he avoided Elrond because of the fight they had had at the noon meal. Erestor had not meant to snap at Elrond, and indeed Elrond did not deserve it. Erestor really did enjoy all the attention that Elrond bestowed on him, even if he felt that he did not deserve it. It was just that Glorfindel's presence made him more irritable than usual. But he was an adult, and he told himself that he would simply have to put aside his differences with Glorfindel, get the training over with, send Glorfindel out, and be done with it. It might be millennia before he ever had to see Glorfindel again.

When he was called down for the evening meal, he felt that he should attend. He had not eaten all day, and he was starting to grow hungry. And he disliked eating alone, or even in his rooms. So he went downstairs and into the main hall. It was, as usual, quite empty. Elrond was already at the head of the table, and Glorfindel was sitting next to him. They were deep in discussion and did not notice Erestor's entrance. Feeling that it was not his place, he sat quite far away from them, as opposed to his normal seat at Elrond's right hand.

Finally, Elrond looked up and saw Erestor. Elrond began to call out to Erestor, but suddenly thought better of it. But it made Elrond upset all the same. Erestor always sat by his side except when one of them wasn't in Imladaris. Elrond saw the look of misery on Erestor's face and just wanted to go and hold him. But he knew that wasn't his place, and had never really been his place at all.

Glorfindel looked at Elrond, then at Erestor. "My lord, this Erestor. Is he a skilled warrior?"

"Very much so."

"Then how is it that I have never heard of him?"

"Erestor is not one for great deeds or competitions. He much more believes in getting a job done, and then coming home. He cares little for glory."

"How long has he lived here?"

"He came with me after the Last Alliance. He fought there."

Glorfindel nodded. "I told him this earlier, but I do not think his skills match mine. I think it would be advantageous to dispense with my training…"

"My lord Glorfindel, I am aware that you are more than proficient with a sword. And a bow, and knives. But if you are to become a spy, then you will require other skills, and those Erestor can provide you. And that is if you are a better with a sword than he, which I doubt."

Glorfindel smirked to himself. These elves had never seen him fight, or they would not dare to think that they could best themselves against him. Nevertheless, it would be good to practice, and maybe even give this Erestor a few tips himself. After all, Glorfindel could not help but notice that Erestor was, to say the least, attractive. If it wasn't for the elf's obvious depression, Glorfindel would have already bedded him. Maybe I still will. And if not Erestor, then perhaps Elrond. I will make sure that my trip here is worth it.

* * *

It was dark when Glorfindel entered the courtyard. It took him a moment to find Erestor, who was seated casually on a bench. "Erestor," he said.

"My lord," said Erestor, rising to his feet.

Glorfindel saw the sword that Erestor was carrying and sized it up. It looked like good steel, but that was just at first glance. The casual way in which Erestor handled it implied to Glorfindel that Erestor had at least passing proficiency with a sword. "Is it not a bit late for swordplay, Erestor?"

"It is never too late, my lord. One never knows when they might have to face an attacker in the night. In which case, 'tis always best to be prepared. That is my motto. Are you tired from your journey, my lord?"

"I am perhaps, a little."

"All the more reason to fight."

Glorfindel raised an eyebrow. "And why would that be?"

"Because one never knows when they will be attacked. If you are attacked at the end of a long day, your attacker will care little about whether or not you are tired." In an easy motion, Erestor raised the sword and advanced on Glorfindel. Without the slightest warning, Erestor swung once and got Glorfindel hard on the arm. As the blade was real steel, it cut deep, making Glorfindel jump back in surprise.

"Erestor!" cried Glorfindel, looking at the surprisingly large amount of blood coming out of his left arm.

"My first lesson," said Erestor calmly, "is to never take anyone for granted. When it comes to the real thing, no one's going to tell you they're about to fight you. You just have to be ready."

"But this is practice!"

"Raise your sword, Glorfindel, or I fear that this practice will be most painful for you." He advanced once more upon Glorfindel.

This time Glorfindel swung first. Erestor caught the stroke neatly on the side of his sword and thrust it away. He raised his sword again just in time to catch Glorfindel's next attack. As he was slowly beaten back, he remembered that it had been a very long time since he had last faced an opponent this good. Slowly, though, all his tricks came back to him, and he began to regain control of the fight. It took only a few seconds before he was pressing the attack.

Now Glorfindel was hard-pressed to keep up the fight. He saw Erestor's blank, impassive face and it did intimidate him. He would expect to see some kind of emotion on any attacker's face, but it was as if Erestor had shut down his emotions completely. And, Glorfindel soon realized, Erestor was more than his match. It was late and he had been riding all last night, and he soon wearied. Erestor, on the other hand, seemed as fresh as ever. Glorfindel knew that he couldn't back down, though, or he would lose face. So he had to end this quickly.

Erestor saw the blow coming for his head and immediately ducked down. He saw a way to win this fight quickly, and threw his right leg out in front of him, hooking it around Glorfindel's ankle. Glorfindel fell heavily to the ground, unable to prevent it. Erestor regained his balance, put a foot on Glorfindel's chest and a swordpoint at his throat and said softly, "Yield."

"You beat me once, but don't think to call it habit," said Glorfindel contemptuously. "When is my next lesson?"

"Dawn, tomorrow," said Erestor, suddenly walking off.

* * *

Elrond looked up when the door opened. He smiled when he saw that it was Erestor. He reminded himself of what he had promised at lunch, that he would not flirt with Erestor, and simply smiled. "Hello. How did the lesson go?"

"Fine, my lord," said Erestor, walking in and closing the door. He decided that it was not his place to put all his troubles on Elrond's shoulders, and so he didn't mention the constant anxiety he felt now. He smiled and sat down. "But I maintain that I cannot work with him."

"And I maintain that you must. I am not giving you a choice in the matter, Erestor. I am telling you that that is the way things are going to be. I am the one in charge here and you will do as I say while you are in Imladaris."

"Maybe I should resign then," Erestor said, completely seriously.

Elrond fought his immediate reaction. He knew he did not have the right to force Erestor to stay, there was nothing in Imladaris that was dear enough to Erestor. "If that is what you wish, Erestor, I will not stop you. But I ask you, where will you go?"

"I have cousins in Mirkwood. That is where I would go." Erestor was surprised at Elrond's complacency. It almost seemed as if Elrond didn't care about him anymore. And that made him even more depressed than ever. In the past, whenever anything had been wrong, he had always had Elrond's shoulder to cry on.

"So are you going to leave?" Please, please, Erestor, don't go. I will do anything to convince you to stay, whatever it takes. I love you, Erestor, and I don't know if I can survive if you leave me. But he couldn't say that aloud, so he simply smiled a little.

"I don't know. I shall have to see."

"What can I do to convince you to stay?" That came out seemingly without bothering to process through Elrond's brain, and he regretted the words the moment they left his mouth.

Erestor smiled and stood up. "My lord, if it matters to you that much that I stay, then I shall."

Elrond closed his eyes, giving in to his emotions. "Please, Erestor, let me help you. You know I care about you, you know I want to help you. I understand if you don't want to break all the barriers down, but…I am a healer, perhaps I can help."

Erestor smiled sardonically. "What is wrong with me no healer can help."

Elrond also rose to his feet and approached Erestor. To his surprise, Erestor reached out and hugged him. Elrond held Erestor close. "What was that for?" he asked softly, whispering into Erestor's ear, wishing he could kiss it but knowing better than to try.

"For being my friend," replied Erestor. "I'm sorry I make you put up with all my problems, and I'll stop if you want me to…"

"No, never. I am always here for you, Erestor." He backed slowly out of the hug. "But you know what?"

"Mmm?"

"You're tense."

"Thank you?"

"Let me give you a massage."

Erestor chuckled. "My lord, that is probably the most inappropriate thing you have said to me in quite a while."

"Are you refusing?"

Slowly, Erestor shook his head. He walked over to the couch and sat in front of it.

"You're going to have to take your shirt off, you know," said Elrond, also walking towards the couch, but he sat on it. Elrond was quite aware that if he played his cards right, his relationship with Erestor could deepen a lot further. He watched as Erestor took off shirt and put it on the floor next to him. Cautiously, Elrond put his hands on Erestor's shoulders. Erestor leaned into the touch, something that made Elrond smile. "Come up here on the couch," said Elrond. Erestor did what he was told without a word. Elrond pulled him closer and began to massage his lower back.

It was then that the door opened again. Erestor was too calm to pull away from Elrond's almost-embrace, but he did look up. Elrond, equally calm, made no attempt to push Erestor away. Glorfindel walked in. He looked at the two elves and said, "I'm sorry if I was interrupting something…"

"No," said Erestor, rising to his feet and retrieving his shirt from the floor. "Good night, my lords. My lord Glorfindel, I shall see you tomorrow at dawn in the courtyard." And then he walked out of the room.

Elrond tried his best to hide his irritation, but he knew that some of it showed on his face. "Glorfindel, what can I do for you?"

Glorfindel had always found it best to be blunt, and so he asked, "Are you and Erestor… together?"

Elrond smiled. "No, not at all. He and I are friends, and it stops there. But that is hardly any of your business. What brings you to my study at this hour?" He had already noticed Glorfindel's bandaged arm, and was not at all surprised to see it. Erestor had few qualms about using real steel in practice. It helped Erestor to keep his edge.

"I have decided something, Elrond."

"And what would that be?"

Glorfindel walked much closer to Elrond. On reflex, Elrond rose to his feet. That was just what Glorfindel wanted. Without any warning, Glorfindel grabbed Elrond and kissed him hard. Elrond tried to pull away, but Glorfindel was stronger than he was. And soon, he stopped wanting this to stop. Glorfindel pushed him down on the couch, a smug smile on his face. "I have decided that I want to bed you."

"Then stop talking."

Glorfindel grinned and removed his clothes, watching Elrond watch him. Next came Elrond's clothes. Then he straddled Elrond. "So, Elrond, do you really want this?"

No some part of Elrond's brain said. It's not you that I want. I want Erestor. But those words didn't come out and instead he just pulled Glorfindel down and kissed him.  
Glorfindel moaned loudly.

From the door, Erestor bit his lip, wiped away the damned foolish tears that had somehow come to his eyes, and walked off.

* * *

Erestor woke up and felt a warm body at his side. Blearily, he looked over and saw a she-elf that he could not even put a name to. When he left Elrond's, he had simply wanted to find some company, from some one. He did not know where he had found this elf, or how he had convinced her to come with him, but that didn't matter now. She was just another one of his attempts at comfort, an attempt that failed miserably. Last night, he had seriously considering asking Elrond if he could stay the night. He had his doubts that Elrond would have refused him. But, of course, Glorfindel had interrupted and then proceeded to bed Elrond. Wonderful. My whole life is wonderful. The elf I love the most and the elf I hate the most are sleeping together. He got out of bed and dressed quickly. He hoped that Glorfindel was up for some serious swordplay this morning.

* * *

Elrond woke in the middle of the night and found Glorfindel sleeping peacefully at his side. He looked Glorfindel over. He was truly attractive, and (Elrond had to admit) good in bed. But he wasn't Erestor. And Elrond knew that Erestor would find out about this. That would hurt Erestor a lot, and Elrond didn't know what he was going to do or say to make things better between him and Erestor. Looking at Glorfindel, he was filled with a certain sense of lust, but certainly not of love or even really liking.

He got out of bed and dressed. Relaxing on his couch, he began to try to think of a way to explain all of this to himself and (more importantly) to Erestor. He loved Erestor with all his heart; he knew that for sure. And really, he did want to sleep with Erestor; he knew that as well. But Erestor was being so distant, and Elrond really did need company, and Glorfindel had been there and had offered it. If it had been any other elf, Elrond knew that Erestor would probably put up with that explanation. But it was Glorfindel, and Erestor hated Glorfindel. Or maybe he loves him. Maybe Erestor has always loved Glorfindel, and has never received any attention from him. That thought hurt Elrond. To think that the love of his life might love someone else was crushing.

A knock came at the door. Elrond got up and walked over. When he saw that it was Erestor, he smiled. "Good morning, Erestor."

"Good morning, my lord. Is Glorfindel up yet?"

So he knows. That was fast. "Erestor, let me explain…"

"No explanation is necessary, my lord. Tell Glorfindel to come down to the courtyard when he is ready."

Glorfindel appeared behind Elrond, fully dressed. "I am ready, Erestor." He could read Erestor's face like an open book. So Erestor did love Elrond. Well, Erestor. First come, first serve. Elrond is mine now. He smiled then walked to Elrond's side. He leaned over and kissed Elrond on the lips. "I shall see you later." Then he walked out of the room to stand by Erestor. "Come, let us go."

* * *

Erestor didn't know who he wanted to kill first, Glorfindel or Elrond. He barely remembered the morning practice session, only that he had beaten Glorfindel. All his senses were numb, and he didn't know what to do with himself. After they had finished, Erestor had taken a bath, and readied himself for the day. Only he couldn't find the energy or the will to get up and do anything. The knowledge that he would never have Elrond depressed him immensely. He had thought that Elrond would be stronger than that and would be able to resist Glorfindel. But he hadn't, and now Glorfindel would hurt Elrond, as he hurt everybody that came to care about him.

_You're being foolish, Erestor,_ he told himself. _Elrond is grown, he can make his own decisions. And if he has decided that he wants Glorfindel and not you, then you're going to have to grow up and accept that. And there's no reason for you to be in here being miserable when you should be up and working._ Erestor stood up and walked to his door. He opened it and found Glorfindel standing out side. "Yes, my lord?" he asked.

"Can I come in?"

"Of course, my lord."

Glorfindel walked in and shut the door behind him. "You love Elrond, do you not?"

"I do," Erestor answered truthfully.

"So why are the two of you not together?"

"My lord, I hardly think that that is any of your business."

"I beg to differ. As Elrond is now my lover, I need assurance that you will not attempt to steal him from me."

"I would not do that, my lord."

"I don't believe you." He walked over to Erestor, until they were almost touching. "Do not get on my bad side, Erestor, or things will go very badly for you." Gods, he smells good. I want him, right now. So he grabbed Erestor and shoved him up against the wall. Erestor did not make even the slightest protest. He kissed Erestor, his hands quickly removing Erestor's clothes. Glorfindel took him hard, uncaringly. When he was finished, he sneered, bent down into the pocket of his robes, pulled out a coin and pressed it into Erestor's hand. "For your services," he said mockingly, before walking out of the room.

Erestor immediately dropped the coin, as if it had burned him, and quickly got dressed, wincing a little in pain due to Glorfindel's sheer brutality. He sat down on the bed and closed his eyes, willing the tears away. After he was quite sure that he had regained his composure, he walked out of the room and set about his daily tasks.

* * *

Elrond was pacing his study, thinking. He had already decided that what had happened last night would not be repeated. That would only make things worse. And the way Glorfindel had kissed him in front of Erestor was not likely to make Erestor any happier. Somehow, he would have to find a way to make it up to Erestor, whatever it took. He was forced to stop his thinking when people began to come in for the daily evening staff meeting. Erestor was one of the last to come in. Elrond saw that Erestor took his normal seat, right beside Elrond. That made Elrond a little happier. Elrond sat down, and the head builder began his report on the condition of an extension to Elrond's house. While he was listening, Elrond surreptitiously reached under the table and put his hand lightly on Erestor's knee.

Erestor felt Elrond's warm hand on his knee and had to fight to keep his face calm. He reached under the table and took Elrond's hand. He squeezed it lightly, and then pushed it away. He knew that Elrond should not be showing this affection towards him. It would only make relations with Glorfindel even worse.

Elrond was slightly hurt by Erestor's reaction, but he knew he deserved it. He decided that he would keep Erestor here after the meeting finished and try and resolve this whole situation. Maybe things could go back to the way they used to be. Though some part of his brain could not help but think That's not very likely.

As the meeting ended, Elrond managed to get Erestor to stay by engaging him in a mindless discussion of the meeting. Frankly, he was surprised that Erestor didn't see right through the scheme. When everyone else had left, Elrond abruptly ended the conversation. Choosing his words carefully, Elrond began. "Erestor, the two of us have to talk about this."

"I've told you already, my lord. There is no need for that. It's none of my business."

"Yes, it is. So I want you to shut up and listen to me, for once Erestor. After I'm done you may do whatever you please, but just hear me out. What happened between Glorfindel and I last night meant nothing. I don't care about him, I most certainly don't love him and I don't plan on sleeping with him again. It's…it's you that I care about. I don't want to hurt you. And I know what I did last night hurt you. So I want you to accept my apology. I understand if you hate me, I understand…and I'm sorry for ever bringing him here in the first place. If I had known how this would have affected you, I would have never done it."

Erestor waited a few instants to see if Elrond is finished. When it became clear that he was, Erestor began. "First, my lord, you may have no intentions of sleeping with him again, but trust me when I say that he doesn't feel the same way. And he doesn't care that you outrank him. If he wants to sleep with you, he will. Second, you never hurt me. What you do is your own business and I accept that. I'm honored that you care about me, my lord, but I would never intrude upon your personal life. Third, I accept your apology, though none is necessary. And finally, you know that you would have brought him here anyway. He is the only one that could get the job done."

Why are you so distant? I'm trying to reach out to you and all you do is push me away. Someone must have hurt you…maybe even Glorfindel. So why won't you just open up to me? I love you. "I don't know what else to tell you, Erestor. Nothing I seem to be saying gets through to you. It's like you're refusing to hear me. Tell me what to say to you to get you to hear me…" He broke off as the door opened and Glorfindel entered without knocking. Slightly annoyed, Elrond said, "Glorfindel, could you leave us alone? I'm trying to talk to Erestor."

"No, my lord," said Erestor. "I should be going. I have things to do."

Elrond barely managed to suppress the frustration from coming to his face. Why were the gods against him so? He looked at Glorfindel, not even trying for a smile. "What do you want?"

"Simply speaking, you."

"No."

"Hmm?"

"I don't want you. What happened last night was a mistake. It will not be repeated, that I can assure you."

"It's Erestor, isn't it?"

"What?"

"That's why you won't sleep with me. Am I correct?"

"Among other reasons, yes."

"Well, my lord. I have come to remember that I did know Erestor. A very long time ago, you see. He has changed, that's why it took me so long. Perhaps you would care to know what Erestor did before he joined the Last Alliance, when he was just another elf. I think it would explain a lot to you."

Elrond's eyes narrowed. He wasn't sure if Glorfindel was telling the truth or not. Or, for that matter, if he really did want to learn about Erestor's past. Elrond had always gotten the impression that Erestor hadn't had the easiest of lives. Well, any truth is better than no truth at all. "Fine."

Glorfindel sat down next to Elrond, taking a deep breath. "Well, this all begins a very long time ago, about three or four years before Gondolin fell. I was young; Erestor must have been younger, maybe out of his majority though I doubt it. Anyway, I was in Gondolin; I can't even remember what I was doing in particular. But I was walking through the streets. And then some ragged elfling came up to me. I thought he was begging and tried to send him away. But, that wasn't what he wanted. He was…selling himself."

"Excuse me?"

"I think you get the general idea. Anyway, so I refused him. But I gave him some money anyway and I told him to get off the streets. And then he asked if he could come home with me. I refused. That would have been a disaster. So I went on my way and I didn't think I'd ever see the child again. The next time I saw him was…it must have been about three or four months before…before the Balrog. I was getting ready to go to war and this child tried to rob me. That was interesting. Perchance you've seen he has a scar along his jaw, that was my doing. My first instinct was to kill him, perhaps I should have. Instead, I gave him a choice. I told him that I could report him and that wouldn't have ended well for him. Or he could join the army. Needless to say, he picked the second. I didn't see him for several months after that. And when I did, it was in the…company of a lord. It was then that I realized what Erestor, because that's who it was, wanted. He wanted power and he would go to any lengths to get it. Maybe he's changed, but I doubt it. You can dress him up in those fancy clothes all you like, but it won't change the fact that he is who he is. He can't take back his past, and I doubt that he would want to. You may care for him, because you never knew what he was, but he doesn't care for you. When he sees you, all he sees is power, and he wants some."

Elrond bit back several acid remarks to Glorfindel's tale and instead thought about it. He couldn't imagine why Glorfindel would come up with such an elaborate lie. Therefore, it had to be the truth. But could he really picture Erestor like that? He thought back to the time he had met Erestor, when he had been working out a battle plan. Only it wasn't working, and he was sitting, frustrated, staring at the parchment, waiting for an answer to show up.

_He looked up angrily as the tent flap opened and a young elf walked in. "My lord," he said._

_"What do you want?" Elrond snapped. It was then that he saw the timid expression on the elf's face. And when he saw the beauty there, as well. Immediately, he felt bad and so said, "I'm sorry. What do you want?"_

_"I was told to bring you some food."_

_"I'm not hungry."_

_The elf smiled. "But they say there's going to be a battle tomorrow. I would think that you would need to keep up your strength."_

_Elrond smiled as well, though there was a little bitterness in it as well. "Maybe."_

_The elf walked closer, setting the food on the ground uncaringly. "What do you mean by that, my lord?"_

_"I mean, this here," he gestured elaborately at the almost-blank parchment in front of him, "is the battle plan. And unless it gets a little more detailed, there will be no battle."_

_The elf studied it for a few moments and then said, "This won't work, my lord."_

_Elrond studied the elf. "I could tell you that. And it's no business of yours."_

_Without asking permission, the elf picked up a quill and made a few hasty marks on the parchment. The elf studied them briefly, made a minor correction to one of them, then looked up at Elrond and said, "This might work, my lord."_

_Elrond leaned forward and glanced at the elf's work. To his surprise, it might just work, and it was something he would have never thought of. He looked back up at the elf and smiled._

_"Now, I must be going, my lord. Get some rest, eat something. Good night, my lord."_

_Elrond watched the elf leave the tent and then realized that he didn't know the elf's name. He followed the elf out after a few seconds and asked one of his guards, "Who is that elf?"_

_"Erestor, my lord," said the elf with something that looked like contempt._

Looking back, Elrond now knew that the contempt had been real. However, at the time he had ignored it. The battle, as Erestor had planned, had gone spectacularly, and from then on, whenever there was an upcoming battle, Erestor would appear at his tent in the evening and would show him the way. It was then that Elrond became completely obsessed with Erestor. He tried to find out about Erestor, but had been completely unable to. Instead, he had just longingly waited until the next battle so that he could see his secret crush again. Part of him knew that it was foolish, but he couldn't help himself. He never had been able to. But then the night before the last battle, Elrond had pushed things too far.

_As usual, Erestor walked in, unannounced an hour or so after sunset. Elrond looked up at him and smiled. "You're late," he commented teasingly._

_Erestor smiled. "I am never late. I come exactly when I mean to, my lord." He walked over to Elrond and sat next to him on the floor in front of the outspread parchment. He frowned for a few moments and then looked up at Elrond. "This is going to be it, isn't it?"_

_"Hmm?" Elrond had been too busy staring at Erestor to hear the question, but had to act like he had._

_"This is going to be the last one, isn't it, my lord? The one that decides it all."_

_"Yes, I think it will be." And that means I won't get to see you anymore. Gods, get these thoughts out of your head, Elrond. Grow up. "Erestor, I've been meaning to ask you something."_

_Erestor looked up at Elrond, frowning slightly. "What, my lord?"_

_"After this nightmare is all over, I wish to return to Imladris. I would like for you to come with me. Your insight would be valuable, I think."_

_Now Erestor's expression was of curiosity. "I have heard of Imladris, and I have wanted to journey there, my lord."_

_"Excellent. Then come back with me. I am sure there is a place there for you."_

_"I am honored, my lord. But…if we do not focus on the task at hand, I fear there may not be an Imladris to go back to."_

_"Of course." Elrond waited for another five minutes, and then saw Erestor beginning to sketch something out. After another five minutes, he was finished. Elrond took the parchment up from the ground and looked it over. As usual, it was brilliant. "I don't know what we'd have done without you, Erestor."_

_"I'm sure you would have managed, my lord."_

_Then, cautiously (the rational part of his brain having abandoned him), he reached his hand over and placed it on Erestor's. Erestor looked sharply at him, but said nothing. Marshalling all his courage, Elrond managed to ask, "Would you like to stay tonight?"_

_Erestor stood quickly. "My lord? I…I cannot, my lord. I am sorry."_

_"No," said Elrond, fumbling to come up with an appropriate response. It was not often that he was turned down, and he had been so sure Erestor would say yes. "I did not mean to give offense. It is I that should be apologizing."_

_"Good night, my lord," said Erestor, quickly disappearing out of the tent._

Elrond smiled ruefully at the memory. He had been so afraid that Erestor would not come back to Imladris, and indeed Elrond had not seen him on the journey home. But just when he had settled in again, content in his misery, Erestor had come to see him and asked what he should do. From that day on, Erestor had been Elrond's chief advisor in all matters. And that had worked out pretty good until now.

"Elrond?" said Glorfindel, trying to break Elrond out of an obvious reverie.

Elrond looked at Glorfindel. "I do think I believe you. It makes sense, looking back. It's just…I trusted him so much. He's half the reason we won during the Last Alliance, you know that?"

"No one ever said he wasn't clever. It's just a matter of what he deserves back from you. I can tell that you find him attractive, well he's grown up to be attractive, you can't do anything about that. But if you give a gutter rat a bath and fine clothes, he is, underneath, no more than that. He does not deserve your attention."

Some part of Elrond couldn't help but feel that Glorfindel was right. "Maybe you are right."

Glorfindel put his hand possessively on Elrond's knee. "Then come on, let us go to bed. I'm tired; I've had a long day."

"I've already told you that I have no intentions of spending another night with you."

"Is this still about Erestor?"

"No."

"Then whatever it is, let it go. You deserve to enjoy yourself, Elrond." He put his other hand on Elrond's cheek and turned Elrond's head so that Glorfindel could kiss him. Elrond did not pull away from the kiss, but nor did he allow it to go any further. When Glorfindel's hand moved to remove Elrond's shirt, Elrond pulled away.

"Glorfindel, stop this madness."

"I tell you this once, Elrond. If you don't want anything to happen, say it now. But you will not get another chance. If you dismiss me now, nothing will happen between us ever. Think to the future. You may be upset now, but later you may regret this decision."

The less than rational part of his brain couldn't help but agree with Glorfindel. And so he let his baser instincts take control. Glorfindel is right. Erestor does not deserve this. Whatever he may have meant to me, it is nothing now.

* * *

Erestor knew that something was wrong when he saw the expression on Elrond's face. It brought back rather vivid memories of Elrond during the Last Alliance, in the midst of battle. It wasn't a particularly pleasant expression. "Is something wrong, my lord?" He knew that Elrond and Glorfindel had spent the night together, and so confirmed Erestor's beliefs that Glorfindel took what he wanted when he wanted it.

"Yesterday evening, Glorfindel told me a story. About you. And I would very much like to hear your opinion of it. Please, sit."

Erestor felt a knot beginning to form in the pit of his stomach as Elrond told him the tale. He could read the almost-disgust on Elrond's face and that hurt worse than anything. When Elrond was finished, Erestor said, "Glorfindel has a good memory. I had almost forgotten that myself."

"So it's true."

"Yes, my lord."

"How much?"

"Every word of it, my lord."

Elrond tried to keep the frown off his face and fought the urge to storm off. You care about him, you still do. It's just that you don't like finding out the kind of person your love really is. Deal with it. You can get past this. Don't judge him so harshly. Sometimes circumstances necessitate doing things that aren't exactly right. "So, Erestor, tell me your real reason for coming here."

Erestor frowned. "My lord?"

"Drop the courtesy, Erestor, I suspect it is not common nature for you."

Erestor nodded, a bitter, resigned expression appearing on his face. "Well, after I joined the army, I was looking for a way out. And then I heard about the elf that was supposed to play a crucial part in our victory. And that was you. So I decided to…make myself known to you. I have always been good at convincing people when I want to, and I decided that you were probably my best bet for a good life. So that was why I came to you that first night. I have always had some intelligence and that was why I was able to help you the way I did. And I kept coming back in the hopes that you would ask me to come back to Imladris, as you eventually did. At that point, I really felt no need to continue helping you. Had that not been our last battle, I wouldn't have come back. That was why I made no attempt to seek you out on our journey home; I had no need of it. The only reason I came to see you after we had settled in was that sooner or later I would be assigned some duties, and I assumed correctly that if you knew I was there I could get the best, or at least the easiest ones. I don't know what you have thought of me over the years, but I can almost guarantee that it is incorrect. I came to you for a way out; I came to you because I thought it would be to my advantage to do so."

_Don't judge him, don't judge him_ Elrond almost said out loud. He hated to hear those words coming from his beloved's lips. But while that made sense of some things, it didn't make sense to others. Like why Erestor had turned him down on both occasions that Elrond had offered. If, as Glorfindel had implied and Erestor had confirmed, Erestor was willing to sell his body, then Elrond would see no reason why Erestor wouldn't take him up on that. Especially because someone as intelligent as Erestor would see that sleeping with Elrond would bring about more advantages than to not do so. So there must be something else in his life, maybe something that redeems him. _Don't give up on him yet._ Whatever you do, whatever Glorfindel said, he does deserve your affection, your love.  
"Answer me one more question, Erestor."

"Of course."

"Did you ever consider me as a friend?"

Erestor looked away. "No."

_Don't judge him, don't judge him._ "Very well, then. I shall see you at the noon meal." He turned and walked out of Erestor's room, fighting back the damned foolish tears that had somehow come to his eyes. Once in the hallway, he leaned his head against the wall and took a few calming breaths. You can't act like this. Get control of yourself. He began to walk down the hall, considering things. Something didn't seem right; no one could be as good an actor as to be able to pull of the absolute melancholy and depression that Erestor had exuded since Glorfindel arrived. There had to be something that Erestor wasn't telling him.

Once Elrond left the room, Erestor collapsed limply onto his bed, unable this time to stop the tears. _You're an idiot. You lost your last chance with Elrond. You're an idiot._

* * *

Glorfindel walked into the room and immediately noticed that while the room was packed with people eating, neither Elrond nor Erestor was there. Erestor had seemed very distant (more so than usual) during their swordplay, and Glorfindel knew he had troubled Elrond. Suspicious thoughts brewing in his mind, he walked out of the room, all thoughts of food gone from his mind.

Glorfindel found Elrond in his study, bent over some paperwork. "You know, you should eat," he said gently.

Elrond looked up. "What do you want?"

Glorfindel frowned as he crossed the room to lay a hand on Elrond's shoulder. "What do you mean? I wanted to come see you, that is all."

"I'm busy," Elrond replied, shrugging Glorfindel's hand away.

Glorfindel sat on the corner of Elrond's desk. "Okay. You and I need to get some things straight. I presume that I am going to be here for a while, and I would greatly like to share your bed that entire time. I don't ask much in the way of attention outside of the bedroom, but civility would be nice."

"So you think to become my lover."

"For a while, yes."

"And what makes you think I wish to do that?"

"The fact that you're lonely, and that you find me attractive. I am sure there are many other elves in Imladris that would gladly take my place, but as you have not, I assume, slept with them, it points to me as the one you would take as a lover."

Elrond looked back down at his desk. "I don't know."

Glorfindel put his hand under Elrond's chin, and kissed him lightly, demanding nothing. "I don't want to pressure you, but I have to know if you want to take what I want to give you."

"And what is it you want to give me?"

"My love, at least for a time. But perhaps more."

Elrond nodded. Erestor has made it more than clear to you that he is not interested. It only makes sense that you stop chasing after those that don't want you and set your sights on someone who does. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"My answer is yes."

Glorfindel smiled. "Good, I was hoping it would be." He kissed Elrond again, this time demanding more.

Elrond pulled away, a genuine smile on his face. "Come, I'm working. Can't you tell? And that means, obviously, that I can't have you around."

Glorfindel abruptly slipped off the corner of the desk and into Elrond's lap. He kissed him again. "Well, everyone is eating and in general not doing any work. Though you aren't eating, I think you deserve a break as well." He began to work his hands under Elrond's clothes.

Elrond squirmed slightly away, though that was relative because he was pretty securely pinned down. "Glorfindel, you neglected to close the door when you came in. As much as I lack modesty, I still would rather not have others watching."

Glorfindel reluctantly rose to his feet, crossed the room, and closed the door. "Better?" He smiled as Elrond rose to his feet and walked over. What he was not prepared for was the brute strength (gained from his Man blood, Glorfindel could only assume) that Elrond employed to get Glorfindel on his back.

"So," said Elrond, almost conversationally, as he was sitting on Glorfindel, a wicked smile on his face, "I have decided that as much as I like submitting to you, I would much, much rather see you submit to me."

Glorfindel nodded. "Well, as you said to me on our first night, stop talking."

Elrond grinned and did as he was told.

* * *

Erestor was pacing his study, his head bowed in thought. Elrond watched from the doorway, surprised that Erestor had not yet seen him. Finally, Elrond said, "Erestor, can we talk?"

Erestor looked at him, and for an instant, Elrond could have sworn he saw Erestor smile. But then a grim look came onto Erestor's face and he said, "If you wish, my lord."

Elrond sat down, suddenly unsure of what to say. "Erestor, I've been thinking about what Glorfindel told me and what you told me. And I've thought about the way you've been acting. And it doesn't add up. There's something you're not telling me."

"Of course there is, my lord. But we are all entitled to our secrets, are we not?"

Elrond smiled inadvertently. He did not know if it was intentional or not, but Erestor had said that exact sentence to him decades ago. It was the second time that Elrond had asked Erestor to stay the night.

_Elrond rose from the seat by the chessboard to fill his glass of wine. Erestor, not looking at him, too intent in his thoughts, raised his empty glass and said, "Please, my lord?"_

_Elrond grinned and took the wineglass. He filled it after filling his own and then returned to his seat. He studied the chessboard, then studied Erestor studying the chessboard. This game had been going for a week now, and neither side seemed to be gaining the advantage. This worried Elrond a little. He had always been a master at chess, and now, somehow, Erestor had managed to hang on this long. Or have you been letting him, in order to have a reason for him to come to see you in the evenings? Elrond didn't like to think about that. He watched as Erestor put one delicate hand around a pawn, began to lift the pawn up…and then set it back down. A frown appeared on Erestor's face. Erestor sat back in his chair, glaring at the board. Elrond grinned. "This is but a game, Erestor."_

_Erestor sighed, then looked up at him. "But I so hate losing, my lord."_

_"You're not losing," Elrond said._

_"And here I thought you were good at chess, my lord."_

_"What are you talking about?"_

_"Fine, my lord." Erestor's hand went back to the same pawn and moved it._

_Now Elrond studied the chessboard hard. It was obvious that Erestor saw something…or maybe he didn't. Maybe he was trying to throw Elrond. Elrond frowned. He looked up at Erestor to see his facial expression, but there was none. And then he saw it. The move that would end the whole game. His hand moved towards the piece, but then stopped. Do you want to end the game? What reason will you have to bring him back? Then the sensible part of his brain overrode this and he moved the piece. "Checkmate."_

_Erestor smiled and rose to his feet. "I should be going, my lord. It is late."_

_Perhaps it was the wine, or the fact that he hadn't been getting enough sleep lately. But whatever it was, some madness possessed him to grab Erestor's hand as he walked by. Erestor froze and then looked curiously at Elrond. Elrond tried for a pleasant expression but wasn't altogether sure if he had succeeded or not. "Stay tonight, Erestor."_

_"I cannot, my lord. You know that."_

_"No, I don't. Tell me why. Is it the fact that I am male…"_

_"No, my lord."_

_"Then what?"_

_"I would very much like to spend the night with you, my lord. Please believe me when I say that. But if that were to happen, things between us would never be the same. The tension would be…unbearable, my lord. I would be forced to leave. And I have really come to like this place."_

_"That's not a good answer."_

_"We are all entitled to our secrets, are we not? Good-night, my lord."_

"Still, Erestor, I would like to know the truth."

"Neither Glorfindel nor I have told you a lie, my lord."

"But I don't know the whole truth, do I?"

"No one ever knows the whole truth in any matter, my lord."

"Erestor, I command you to tell me whatever it is that pertains to this that you are not telling me."

"Do not ask that of me, my lord."

Elrond was getting angry now. "But I am asking it of you. As your lord, I demand that you answer me."

"No, my lord, I will not."

Elrond stood up._ Rage and anger is not going to get through to him_. _You have to be caring, kind._ "I apologize, Erestor, I should not have said that."

"There is no need to apologize, my lord." Erestor resumed pacing, his gaze fixed firmly on the floor. "And if that matter is all you have to discuss with me…I have work to do, my lord."

"I mislike the way we have come to think of each other. I would very much like to make that up to you." He looked over at Erestor and saw that he had stopped pacing and was looking at him with an odd expression.

"In what way, my lord?"

"Have dinner with me. We can talk…"

"About what, my lord?" Erestor said bitterly. "We have nothing to talk about."

"I remember that you used to play chess. Do you perhaps still enjoy it?"

"At times, my lord."

"Then come and see me tonight, and we shall play."

"What about Glorfindel, my lord?"

"He…I will make sure he has a better place to be, Erestor. I know by now that you hate him and…and I shall try to get rid of him as soon as I can." But strangely enough, part of him didn't want to get rid of Glorfindel. He had been so lonely, and Glorfindel had been the only one that offered to ease that loneliness, if only for a short while.

"Very well, my lord. If that is what you wish." A genuine smile. "Now, if that's all you have to say, I really do need to work."

Elrond nodded, then, on a whim, walked over to Erestor and put a hand on his shoulder. Erestor shuddered and shrugged the hand away. In a soft voice, he said, "Please do not, my lord."

"Why?"

"Just leave it at that. I…I do not…like you like that, my lord. I am content to be friends, but no more."

Elrond nodded. "Well, I shall see you then this evening."

* * *

Erestor was pacing his room agitatedly. He didn't want to go to this dinner. He knew what Elrond was trying to get out of him through it and he was loath to give in to Elrond. And Glorfindel's presence hardly helped. It was then that Glorfindel walked in. Erestor rose to his feet and said, "Good afternoon, my lord."

"Hello."

"What can I do for you, my lord?"

"You know what I want from you."

"Do not disrespect my lord Elrond's heart like that, my lord."

"I don't come to you for conversation, Erestor. Elrond is quite sufficient for that. What I ask from you is much simpler."

"I won't do it, my lord."

"You will, and you will enjoy it." Glorfindel shoved Erestor against the wall, but this time Erestor fought back, finally succeeding in pulling free from Glorfindel. But Glorfindel was stronger and finally wrestled Erestor down onto the ground.

Erestor could feel bruises rising on his face and winced. He was pushed onto his stomach and his robes were torn off his body. "My lord, please don't…"

"Don't order me around, scum."

Erestor bit his hand hard as Glorfindel thrust into him to prevent Glorfindel the satisfaction of hearing him scream. Erestor tasted blood in his mouth but he didn't care. He closed his eyes and wished that he could do anything to prevent this. Then Glorfindel began to stroke him to make this technically not rape, at least not in terms that would cause an elf to fade. When Glorfindel was finished, he rose to his feet and said, "You are disgusting. I just want you to know that, Erestor. Now go clean yourself up. You're a horrible mess."

"What would you care, my lord?" sneered Erestor.

Glorfindel dropped a coin onto the ground, collected his robes around him, and walked out of the room.

Erestor pulled himself up. He gathered the torn clothes and set them aside. Perhaps they could still be fixed. What he really wanted now, though, was just a hot bath. A very hot bath.


	2. Elven Hearts

Chapter 2

* * *

Erestor looked spectacular, though Elrond was almost certain that was not Erestor's intent. Erestor's inky black hair was loose, ending about mid-back. He was dressed simply, in well-fitting pants and a loose shirt. Elrond had seen Erestor dressed like this a million times. It was just that he had not had any opportunity to be around Erestor in a personal setting for a long time. So everything seemed a little more magical than Elrond knew it should. What worried him a little was the dark bruise along Erestor's cheekbone, but Elrond knew better than to inquire about it, at least right now.

"Good evening, my lord," said Erestor calmly. He could read Elrond; he was one of the few that could. What he didn't quite understand was that look Elrond gave him from time to time, a look of absolute gratefulness just to be in his presence. Erestor did not feel that he needed that at all.

"Come in, Erestor." He closed the door behind Erestor, getting just close enough to Erestor to catch a whiff of Erestor's unique scent, a perfect blend of the forest and spices like cinnamon. To Elrond, it was heaven. "And don't worry about Glorfindel interrupting. I sent him on a task of utmost importance."

A twinkle appeared in Erestor's eye. "My lord, I am your chief advisor. It is my duty to send people on meaningless tasks. Not yours."

Elrond started to snap at Erestor, but then realized that Erestor was actually joking with him, and grinned. "I am Lord of this valley. I have every much a right as you do."

"Then I suppose that I have become useless."

"Mmm-hmm." Elrond turned his back on Erestor and headed to the chessboard. "Ready to play?"

"I was under the impression that we'd eat first, my lord."

"Can you not multi-task, Erestor?"

"I am your chief advisor. If I could not multi-task, I would not have lasted more than a day here."

"Would you like some wine?"

"Trying to get me drunk, my lord?"

"As I recall, the last time I tried to do that, I passed out first."

"It's your Man blood, my lord. You get drunk faster. But yes, I would like some wine."

Elrond grinned. He knew that that was the truth. He poured the glass of wine and handed it to Erestor. Very carefully, he made sure that his fingers brushed Erestor's lovingly. Erestor snatched the glass away, very nearly spilling the wine. "I apologize, Erestor," said Elrond quickly. The way he had always apologized to Erestor surprised him. Erestor was just about the only person in Imladris that he felt he had to apologize to.

"It's nothing, my lord."

But Elrond could tell that Erestor's smile was suddenly more forced.

"So," said Erestor, trying very hard to remain pleasant, "what's on the menu for tonight?"

"Salmon." Elrond caught the genuine smile on Erestor's face for an instant before it disappeared. Salmon was Erestor's favorite food, something Elrond had long ago learned.

About twenty minutes later, both elves were thoroughly engrossed in the game. It was not clear who the victor would be, more so because each had only made two moves. Erestor took a long time to think before making a move, which made Elrond feel like he had to do the same.

"It has been a long time since we've played chess, my lord," said Erestor, his hand hovering over his bishop.

"Too long, Erestor."

Erestor nodded. He moved the bishop, taking out one of Elrond's pawns, the first captured piece in the game. He also left his bishop in a very vulnerable position, something Elrond's practiced eye immediately noticed. "And why would that be, my lord? You simply stopped asking me to play about five hundred years ago. Did I do something to displease you, my lord?"

"No. Nothing you could do would displease me." This was yet another statement that had decided to bypass Elrond's brain before coming out of his mouth. Elrond then looked at the board, unwilling to meet Erestor's gaze. You are an absolute idiot. He doesn't want to hear these things from you. He has made that more than clear to you. Can you not deal with just having him as a friend? The truth, though, was that he could not. He almost moved his queen to capture Erestor's bishop, but then he noticed that if he did so, in two moves, Erestor would have checkmate. "Did you think you would trick me so easily?"

Erestor grinned. "It has been a long time since I have played someone as good as you. It works on others nearly every time, my lord."

"Can you answer a question for me, Erestor?"

"If you'd like, my lord."

"Why do you still call me 'my lord'?"

Erestor frowned, as if thinking very hard. "It's hard to say. You know I grew up poor … my father used to make me call all my betters 'my lord'. It's just habit, I guess."

"I think there's more to it than that." Elrond finally moved a piece, well aware that Erestor's bishop would wreak havoc on his pieces.

Erestor sat back in his chair, studying the board intently. Abruptly, he rose to his feet and began pacing. Occasionally, he shot looks at Elrond, but his gaze was mostly fixed on the ground. Finally, he said, "Yes, my lord, you're right. There is more to it than that."

"You don't call other people here 'my lord'. You rarely call visitors to Imladris, even Celeborn and Thranduil, 'my lord'. I'm just curious; do you call Glorfindel 'my lord'?"

"Yes, my lord."

Elrond frowned. He had to stop adding easy questions to the end of his hard ones. "Why do you not call others 'my lord'?"

Erestor looked at Elrond. "Do you want the truth, my lord?"

"I'd rather not have a boldfaced lie, if that's okay by you."

A small smile appeared on Erestor's face, but did not stay there for long. "It's my way of creating boundaries."

"Boundaries?"

"Yes, those things we create to separate one thing from another."

"I am perfectly aware of what boundaries are, Erestor." Erestor had always been able to do this to him; to make him feel like a complete idiot, instead of being the intellectual superior to most. "But why do you feel the need to create boundaries?" He was, after all, a healer. And some problems that he dealt with were more mental than physical. He was almost sure that this was one of them.

"Because…" Erestor was trying to decide whether or not to tell Elrond the truth. But Elrond had known him long enough to know when he was lying. "Because I'm attracted to you. And if I am to work with you in a professional capacity, I have to…detach myself like that."

Elrond's heart soared, hearing that Erestor liked him like that. "So why do you…why have you always…"

"Refused to sleep with you? Boundaries, my lord. Once crossed, they cannot be un-crossed."

_So cross them, dammit. I want you, you want me. What more is there to it?_ This thought very nearly made it out of Elrond's mouth, but he caught himself just in time. "Very well," he said, in a surprisingly controlled voice. "Shall we finish the game?"

"If you would like, my lord." Erestor returned to his chair and moved his bishop again, striking deeply into Elrond's side of the board. He was still leaving the bishop open to attack, but Elrond could see that the only way to take the bishop would mean losing the game.

"How did you come by that bruise, Erestor? It looks painful."

Because your bastard lover hit me. Right before he raped me. "I fell, my lord."

"That is the most overused excuse I've ever heard. Do you know what 'I fell' truly means, Erestor?"

"Enlighten me, my lord."

"It really means 'someone hit me, and they've been hitting me for a while now. But I feel that I deserve it and so I'm not going to tell you the truth even though you know that what I say is a lie. Because, really, I want you to help me and that's the reason I'm using such a stupid excuse, because I know you know it's a stupid excuse.'

"That's a lot to read into two words, my lord."

"Of course, it can also be genuine."

"And how can you tell the difference, my lord?"

"If said beaten person looks you in the eye when they tell you they fell, they really did fall. You didn't. So, who's hitting you? I would have thought that you wouldn't let anyone get close enough to you for that." The spiteful remark got out despite Elrond's best efforts to control it.

"No one is hitting me." Raping me, yes. But this was the first time he hit me.

"If I looked elsewhere, would I find more bruises?"

"No, my lord." Depends where you looked.

"Would you tell me if someone was?"

"Of course, my lord. But I would more likely deal with the problem myself. Whatever you may think of me, I am an accomplished warrior. I would not allow someone to abuse me like that." Except Glorfindel.

"Good. Would you like a salve for it?" Gods, that's a pathetic excuse to touch him.

"No, my lord. I will be fine. It probably won't last more than a day or so."

"I don't believe you, Erestor."

"I think my healing abilities are at the very least adequate, my lord."

"I'm not talking about that. Take off your shirt, Erestor."

Erestor sighed but pulled his shirt off. Elrond saw a fist-sized bruise in the small of Erestor's back. And there was a smaller bruise below Erestor's collarbone. Erestor looked at Elrond. "As I said, my lord, it is nothing."

"I count two more bruises."

"We all get bruised from time to time. Take of your shirt, my lord."

Elrond was a little puzzled by this. He took off his shirt and laid it across the back of his chair. "What do you want to see?"

Erestor walked over to Elrond. Elrond was suddenly aware that both of them had their shirts off. He felt his groin tightening and did his level best to not get hard. "See, my lord, you have a couple bruises yourself. Am I to infer that you are being abused?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"And if you must know, these bruises, all except for the one on my face, came from the practice yard. Glorfindel is strong and his blows leave bruises." I'm not even really lying. It was Glorfindel. It's just that we weren't exactly practicing.

"Okay, Erestor. I believe you." Elrond reached out and put a hand on Erestor's bare shoulder. "But be careful. I don't want you to get hurt." And then he couldn't stop himself. He leaned forward and down slightly, and pressed his lips against Erestor's.

Erestor did not return the kiss. He stepped back, a scowl on his face. "My lord, how many times…"

"Erestor, I'm…I want you, you want me. Why can't we enjoy ourselves?"

"Because we would never be able to take this night back. Besides that, you already have a lover."

"Whom I would leave in an instant for you."

"The answer is, always has, and always will be no, Elrond." Erestor turned towards the door, retrieving his shirt as he walked.

"No, don't go."

"We have nothing else to talk about, my lord." With a slight, insincere smile, Erestor bowed and walked out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

No more than five minutes later, the door opened again and Glorfindel walked in. He saw Elrond slumped in a chair, wine glass in hand, shirtless, and grinned. "Waiting for me, Elrond?"

Elrond looked up. "No."

"Pity."

"And why would that be?" Elrond was in a very depressed mood. He knew that once again he had pushed Erestor too hard and would have to work diligently to erase the mistakes he had made this evening.

"Because I want you."

"You have a very limited vocabulary around me, don't you?"

"Stand up, Elrond."

Elrond rose to his feet. "What do you want?"

"You." Glorfindel walked closer, and pulled Elrond's body tight against his own. He tilted Elrond's head up and kissed Elrond, his other hand dropping lower, to deal with the far-too complicated ties of Elrond's pants. It was clear to Glorfindel, though, that Elrond was utterly not in the mood. He seemed very distracted, and not in a good way. So he pulled away a little. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Of course not." He took Elrond's hand and led him to the bed in the next room. He took off his shirt and lay down on the bed. Grabbing Elrond's wrist, he pulled Elrond down next to him. "You can't fool me, Elrond."

"I'm fine, Glorfindel. Just tired."

"Mnn. Go to sleep then." Glorfindel shifted a little to get comfortable and then closed his eyes, holding Elrond close.

* * *

Erestor lay in his cold bed, jaw clenched, eyes wide open. The tears had long ago stopped flowing, but the traces of the tears remained on his cheeks. He would give anything to be lying in Elrond's arms this very minute. But that would never happen. That could never be allowed to happen.

_He was rudely shoved out of the way by some passing elves. He started to say something, but he knew better. They wouldn't listen to him, they would punish him. And he had had enough punishment to last a lifetime. So he just bowed his head and kept on walking._

_It was then that he saw him. He didn't know the elf's name, but he radiated brilliance. Erestor felt better in all ways just to be in his presence. He walked a little closer, hoping to catch a name. A blond elf dressed in Mirkwood colors walked over to the elf and bowed deeply. "Lord Elrond."_

_Elrond grinned and said, "Haldir, stop being ridiculous."_

_Haldir snapped a salute. "Yes, sir!"_

_Elrond stepped forward to hug Haldir, but Haldir stepped away. "You don't want to do that, Elrond. You might have just come in from elsewhere, but I have been here for months. I am absolutely filthy."_

_Elrond shook his head and hugged Haldir anyway. "You think I care about a little mud?"_

_Erestor watched this scene in amazement. No one had ever treated him like this. He wanted for someone to. More specifically, right now, he wanted Elrond to treat him like that._

_Haldir turned around and saw him. "Who is that filthy Elfling? He one of yours, Elrond?"_

_Elrond turned, too, and Erestor caught the unmistakable look of disgust on the elf's face. "No. I would never….look at him." In a lower voice, but still just about audible to Erestor, Elrond said, "He's grotesquely ugly and dirty as well. I would never employ an elf like that." He shrugged, then turned to Erestor. "Elf, do you want to help me?"_

_Haldir shook his head. "You don't know nearly enough about command, Elrond. Watch and learn." He walked towards the Elfling. "Go collect Lord Elrond's bags and take them to his tent!"_

_Erestor bowed, his eyes filling with tears. The most perfect elf in existence thought he was 'grotesquely ugly'. "Yes, sir," he said dully, turning away. He remained close enough, though, to catch the end of the conversation._

_"See, that's how do you do it. You tell them, you don't ask."_

_"Mmm, I don't think I should thank you. That disgusting thing will tag around me now. I'll have to find some way to get rid of him."_

Erestor closed his eyes, his body shaking due to his sobbing. Getting control of himself, he brushed the tears away and sat up. He knew he couldn't let himself spiral downwards like this into depression, but he just felt that his life was not worth living. No one cared about him: Glorfindel used him; Elrond just wanted him for sex. He had no real friends, no lover. He knew that no one would care if he died. He saw no point in living, but he respected life too much to take his own. But that wouldn't stop him from wishing that he was dead. That was allowed in his mind.

A knock came on his door. "Go away," he called.

The door opened anyway. Haldir walked in, dressed as though he had just arrived. "Even me?"

Erestor sat up, smiling weakly. "Especially you." He rose to his feet to receive an enthusiastic embrace from Haldir. "What are you doing here?"

"Celeborn wanted me here. So I came."

"Did you do something wrong?"

"When do I not do something wrong?" He pulled slightly out of the embrace, studied Erestor, and then asked, "Is something wrong? You look upset."

"I'm fine. And why did you get here so late at night?"

Haldir shrugged. "It's more pleasant to sleep here than outside."

"Sleep here or sleep in Imladris?" asked Erestor curiously.

"I'd settle for Imladris, but I'd prefer here." He kissed Erestor tentatively. They had only been together once, almost a century ago. Haldir had no idea how he really felt about Erestor, but as Erestor had offered, Haldir would more than gladly take him up on the offer.

Erestor kissed him back hard, almost frantically. "Please," he murmured.

Haldir couldn't help but oblige. He quickly divested himself of his clothes, and his hands reached out to do the same for Erestor, but Erestor pushed his hands away. Erestor stepped back, studying Haldir. Haldir let him do that; he knew he was good-looking and he didn't mind if Erestor wanted to admire him. "Is something on your mind, Erestor?"

Erestor shook his head. "No, I don't think so. And even if there was, I'd rather not talk about it now." He closed the distance between the two of them and kissed Haldir, then kissed along his jaw line and bit lightly at Haldir's neck.

Haldir swatted at Erestor's head. "No marks that I'm going to have to explain tomorrow."

Erestor mumbled something in response, but Haldir didn't hear what it was. Erestor continued his re-exploration of Haldir's body, lightly kissing each nipple, and sinking to his knees. He kissed Haldir's stomach, and was about to move lower down when Haldir suddenly pulled him up. "Let me," said Haldir softly, his hands going under Erestor's shirt.

Erestor almost pushed the hands away, but he couldn't fight it anymore. He had to give in, he knew that. He and Haldir both wanted it tonight and who was he to deny either of them? So he allowed the removal of his clothes and laughed when Haldir inadvertently discovered he was very ticklish. Haldir tickled Erestor to the ground, which took all of about five seconds.

Haldir was exactly the opposite of Glorfindel. He was slow and gentle, and Erestor, who had been half dreading it, found himself enjoying it when Haldir came inside Erestor, with a muffled grunt and a moan that could have been just about anything. Haldir rolled off Erestor and said, "We may want to actually move to the bed."

"I hear that they tend to be more comfortable than the floor," said Erestor, now in a very good mood.  
Haldir grinned, and tickled Erestor to breathlessness for that comment. Then, with ease, he lifted Erestor off the ground and took him over to the bed. He kissed Erestor once more, but could see how tired Erestor was, and that Erestor wasn't in the mood for a second round. Erestor turned away from him in bed, but Haldir put an arm around Erestor and pulled his body close. Haldir could tell that Erestor had wanted comfort tonight. For what, Haldir did not know, but he intended to find out.

* * *

Elrond woke up in the middle of the night and freed himself from Glorfindel's embrace. He got out of bed and dressed silently. He knew by now that he wouldn't fall asleep again so he might as well be up. Vaguely, he thought about visiting Erestor, to apologize once again for his behavior. He was almost certain Erestor would be up. Or that he would be glad to talk to Elrond. There had been many nights in the past where Elrond would wake Erestor up in the middle of the night and the two would talk until a more respectable hour. His mind made up, Elrond headed out of his chambers and over to Erestor's.

He found the door unlocked and pushed it open. What he saw upset him. Erestor was clearly asleep, curled up in another elf's arms. Elrond didn't feel that he could wake Erestor up under such circumstances. He was about to leave when the other elf half-sat up and said, "Lord Elrond?"

"Haldir?! What are you doing here?"

"I came here for a visit. I am afraid that Erestor intercepted me before I could greet you. And I only arrived an hour or so ago. Can I do something for you?"

Get away from the love of my life. "No. I just came to talk to Erestor, but he looks so peaceful…"

At that moment, Erestor woke up. For a moment, he was confused. He heard Elrond's voice and he felt arms around him. Was he finally in bed with Elrond? But no, he could hear that Elrond's voice was coming from the wrong direction. So he sat up and saw Elrond at the doorway. "Good morning, my lord," Erestor said sleepily. "Do you need something from me?"

"I just wanted to talk, but if you'd rather stay here…"

"No, my lord, I can come." He leaned over and kissed Haldir tenderly. In a low voice, so that Elrond would not hear, he said, "I enjoyed last night. I shouldn't be long. Go back to sleep, I'll try not to wake you up when I come back."

"Don't worry about it," murmured Haldir.

Erestor got out of bed. He exhibited no modesty whatsoever; he was completely nude and made no effort to hide his body from Elrond. Elrond tried his best not to look like he was staring, especially as there was another in the room. Another that got to actually have Erestor.

When Erestor was dressed, he headed to the door, allowing Elrond to lead the way. "So, where are we going?" asked Erestor.

"I couldn't sleep. I just…wanted to see you." Some of the indignation burst out. "How long have you been sleeping with Haldir?"

"Not that it's any of your business, my lord, but this is only the second time we have. He just showed up at my room…and things happened."

Elrond saw that they were at the entrance to the library and figured it was as good a place as any. He opened the door for Erestor and followed him in. They sat down in two comfortable chairs. Elrond, noticed Erestor, looked exhausted, like he hadn't slept in days. "Are you sleeping okay?" asked Erestor.

"No."

"Shouldn't you be sleeping then, my lord?"

_I would sleep better in your arms_. "I wouldn't be here if I could sleep."

"Surely you have something that could put you to sleep, my lord."

"I'm sure I do. But I don't like to."

"Well, my lord, it wouldn't be good form to collapse from exhaustion in front of others."

Elrond grinned. "No, probably not."

"So, do you have something on your mind? Or do you just want to talk about nothing until it's time for breakfast, my lord?"

"I want to talk about last night."

"What do you mean?"

"Our conversation last night, Erestor."

"I think we both said all that needed to be said…"

"No. I didn't say all that I wanted to say."

"I think you made it quite clear what you wanted from me, my lord. Forgive me if I don't see you that way. I care about you as a friend, your best friend if you'd like, but not, never as your lover. I don't want you like…like I wanted Haldir last night."

"What don't you like about me?"

Erestor couldn't help but smile at this thoroughly un-self-confident question. "There's nothing specific that I don't like about you. I…you're just my lord. That's all. I can't see you as a lover…"

"That would be because you never gave me a chance." Elrond tried hard to contain his feelings, but it was late and all his emotions were on the surface. "You will sleep with anyone else, as far as I know, there's no one besides me that you've turned down. I don't mean to be conceited, but I'm as good looking as any other elf here. We both know it's bullshit that we wouldn't be able to work together if we slept together. You know that Celeborn is having an affair with his chief advisor. I don't think they have any issues with that. You know we could work together. I am very attracted to you, I have been since the Last Alliance, you know that. I want you to at least give me my chance, or to give me a damn good reason as to why I don't get a chance."

"I'll give you your good reason," said Erestor calmly. "I'm not attracted to you. I told you that already. I don't want you because I feel nothing for you…"

"That's a blatant lie. You told me last night that you were attracted to me. Now you're denying it. I wish you would stop lying to me. I wish you would stop lying to yourself and just admit to me or even just to yourself that you want me and that you want to give me a chance…"

"But I don't. What I feel for you…it's like an adolescent fantasy. I look up to you, I admire you. That's why I'm attracted to you. I feel very little or no romantic attraction to you."

"So why not a one-night fling? You can't possibly tell me that you're attracted romantically to all the elves you fuck."

"Because, my lord, if we slept together once, you would want to do it again and again. And I would feel obligated to say yes. My lord, for someone as intelligent as you are, I cannot see why you cannot accept this for what it is. Cherish my friendship, but please stop asking what I cannot give. And I cannot hold this conversation with you any longer. I'm going back to bed. You should as well."

* * *

Haldir could tell that Erestor was upset the moment he stepped into the room. Erestor shed his clothes and snuggled back into bed, barely restraining sobs. Haldir held Erestor tightly until Erestor fell asleep again. Haldir, though, did not sleep. Something was seriously wrong in Imladris, and Haldir had no intentions of leaving until he found out what it was and how to stop it.

Elrond woke up hating himself. He had fallen asleep on the couch in his room. Now he woke up and looked through the open door to where Glorfindel was still sleeping. This is all Glorfindel's fault. If he had never come here…. Elrond didn't know how to finish this thought. Elrond didn't really think he would be sleeping with Erestor right now if Glorfindel had never come here. But there was a chance. Still, 'what ifs' helped no one and wouldn't help him at all.

* * *

Elrond couldn't get the mental image of Erestor and Haldir asleep together out of his mind. Elrond had always known about Erestor's flings, and had even walked in on them more than once. But now he was seriously dedicated to winning Erestor and it felt like Erestor was cheating on him. He shook his head to clear them of these thoughts. Erestor was not his; Erestor had never been his; there was a good chance that Erestor would never be his.

He smiled to himself. Who would ever guess that Elrond, renowned healer, scholar, and warrior would not be able to get the one elf that was all he ever wanted, all he needed? Then he looked to his bed, at Glorfindel. Nearly every elf would give anything to have Glorfindel in their bed. Elrond knew that, on some level, he too, was glad. And now he decided that it was best to enjoy what he had instead of pining for what he could not.

He stripped out of his clothes and walked into the bedroom. Glorfindel remained asleep. Elrond crawled onto the bed, making sure not to wake Glorfindel up. He pulled the blanket off Glorfindel's body. Glorfindel shivered slightly, but still did not wake up. Elrond straddled Glorfindel's hips, making sure to put no more weight on Glorfindel's body than was strictly necessary. Glorfindel did not wake up. Elrond leaned down and kissed Glorfindel. Glorfindel did not wake up. Elrond grinned; this was amusing. He began to stroke Glorfindel's lax member. Now Glorfindel woke up.

"What?" Glorfindel asked, a little confused. Elrond had never taken the initiative before. Not that he was complaining. "Good morning."

"Good morning."

"So, what was wrong last night?"

"Nothing was wrong last night, Glorfindel."

"That's a lie."

"Maybe."

"I love you, Elrond. Whatever it is, you can talk to me about it."

"I don't love you, Glorfindel. I love Erestor. You know that by now."

Glorfindel frowned. He knew this was true, but he had been doing his level best to change that. "And?"

"We talked last night."

"Is that why you were shirtless when I came in?"

"That's a long story. One of you isn't telling me something. You say that he's no better than a whore, and he confirmed it to me when I confronted him about it. You say he lusts for power, and he agreed. If he slept with me, if he became my lover, he would have almost unimaginable power. Yet he refuses. So there must be something one of you won't tell me."

"Some things are not for your ears to hear," said Glorfindel softly. He pushed Elrond off him and sat up. "Some things are not for anyone to hear."

"So you do know why."

"So does he."

"So why won't one of you tell me?" Elrond was getting annoyed. He wanted to know, whether he needed to or not, whether they wanted him to know or not.

"Because neither of us feels that you need to know."

"You are my lover."

"Yes, I am."

"Whatever you tell me stays between us."

"I know that."

"So why won't you tell me?"

"Elrond, we're not going to argue over this. Erestor chose not to tell you. I choose not to tell you. We are the only two that know. We don't think you need to know, so we aren't going to tell you. You just have to accept that."

* * *

When Erestor woke up, he was alone in bed. That didn't surprise him, but he would have liked better to wake up in Haldir's arms. Haldir had always been a good friend to him, and Erestor would have appreciated the comfort of Haldir staying the whole night. He snuggled deeper down into the blankets and tried to forget everything. He knew he should get up, but he couldn't find the energy to do so.

Then something warm landed next to him on the bed. Blearily, Erestor turned and saw Haldir staring fondly at him. "Still sleeping?"

"Mmm-hmm," murmured Erestor.

"I brought you breakfast. You don't look like you've been eating enough."

"Mnn."

"I'm not leaving until you eat it all."

"Mnn."

"And after that I intend to ravish you."

"Mnn."

"Are you listening to me?"

"Mnn."

"I have just allowed five hundred orcs into Imladris."

"Mnn."

"Sauron has just reemerged."

"Mnn."

"Elrond is dead."

"What?" Erestor turned and looked at Haldir. "What did you say?"

"Nothing. Are you going to eat?"

"I'm not hungry."

Haldir kissed him. "Eat for me?"

"I'm not five, Haldir."

"You're acting like it."

Erestor sat up. He frowned at Haldir. "I'm really really not hungry."

"But your body really really needs food."

Erestor smiled half-heartedly. "Okay." He began to eat some of the food, if only to please Haldir. After a few moments, he asked, "So how long are you going to stay in Imladris, Haldir?"

"I have no idea."

"And do you plan on pestering me until you leave?"

"If by pestering you mean keeping you company and seeing that you do the bare minimum to stay alive, then yes." Haldir thought for a few seconds and then asked tentatively, "So what…why were you so upset when you came back to bed last night?"

"I wasn't upset."

"Please don't lie to me."

"Then it's none of your business."

"I want to help you."

"I don't need help."

"Let me help you."

"Don't need help."

"Now you sound like a stubborn five-year-old." He pushed the food out of the way and kissed Erestor deeply. "Does this have anything to do with Elrond?"

"No."

"Well, coming from you, that means yes." Haldir kissed him again, his hand wandering down to rest on Erestor's hard, flat abdomen. "Does it have to do with the fact that Glorfindel is sleeping with Elrond?" It was surprising how few secrets there were in Imladris.

"No."

"Another yes." This time when he tried to kiss Erestor, Erestor turned his head away. Haldir knew he had gone too far. "I'm sorry, Erestor. That wasn't…I shouldn't have asked that."

"No, you shouldn't." Erestor got out of bed and disappeared into the bathroom. He emerged about ten minutes later, clean and dressed. Haldir was surprised by this; it took him at least an hour. Without another word to Haldir, Erestor disappeared out of the room.

* * *

In many ways, considered Elrond, things were more awkward between Erestor and him than if they had been sleeping together. Elrond knew he had to back down some if he ever wanted to be able to work alongside his chief advisor again. So he was trying his best. "How soon will we be able to accomplish what we brought Glorfindel here for?"

Erestor shrugged. "A month, tops, my lord." He overestimated. He could see, despite all of Elrond's pretenses, that Elrond was happy to have Glorfindel around. Despite what Erestor thought of that relationship, he wasn't going to deny Elrond his happiness. Erestor cared too much about Elrond to do that.

"Is that all?" Elrond tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice. He had gotten used to having Glorfindel around and would be more than a little sorry to see him go.

"I thought that you wanted to get rid of the orcs, my lord. Maybe I was wrong." Erestor grinned.

So did Elrond. "Yes. I suppose you're right." I wonder if I could convince Glorfindel to come back afterwards. That thought surprised him. He hadn't realized until now how much he would miss Glorfindel's presence. Though Elrond was not sure that Erestor would be able to stand that. The two had seemed to have formed an uneasy truce, but Elrond knew that it wouldn't last very long. "Is he progressing well?"

"Very well, my lord. He is a fast learner."

"Talking about me?" Glorfindel walked into the room.

Elrond caught the flash of disapproval on Erestor's face. No one ever interrupted their meetings without really good reason, and Elrond somehow doubted that Glorfindel had such a reason. "Yes?"

"I thought that as I am to be doing Imladris's work, I should sit in on her meetings."

Now Erestor could not contain his displeasure. "There are a great many elves here who work for Imladris. Yet they feel no need to sit in on our meetings, my lord."

"He can stay," said Elrond, though he didn't know why he said that.

"Thank you." Glorfindel sat down, listening attentively.

"Back to business," said Erestor, ignoring Glorfindel to the best of his ability. "The extension to the house should be finished in a week."

"Provided that our builder decides to show up?" joked Elrond. They had recently discovered that the builder showed up to supervise construction no more than one day in three.

"I have appointed a new one, my lord," said Erestor.

"Without telling me?"

"I assumed that my position allowed me to do some things without informing you first, my lord."

"Not replacements of staff, Erestor."

Erestor didn't want to fight with Elrond in front of Glorfindel. So he ended the fight. "I am sorry for outstepping my boundaries, my lord. I shall re-instate the old builder as soon as I leave here."

Elrond knew he had been too harsh with Erestor, but couldn't back down in front of Glorfindel. "Good."

* * *

Haldir was somehow not surprised to see Erestor looking upset when he walked in around noon. Haldir had been settling into Erestor's rooms (having already decided that he was staying here as long as he was in Imladris). "What's wrong?" he asked gently.

Erestor looked around the room. "Am I to assume you intend to move in?"

"Do you mind?"

"Possibly." Erestor paused. "You may or may not have heard this about me, but I don't do relationships."

"Fine. I said nothing about a relationship."

"I also don't do commitment."

"And I also said nothing about commitment."

"But it will be difficult to sleep with other elves if you are in my bed every night."

"Unless I am also seeking another." Truth be told, Haldir was very interested in a relationship with Erestor. And he became unduly jealous when he thought of Erestor with another.

"You're not moving in here."

"I already have."

"Then you can just move back out."

"No."

"Haldir…I don't need this right now…"

"To the contrary. I think this is exactly what you need. You are suffering from something right now and you need someone by your side. Even if I am perhaps not exactly the one you wish to be beside you, I am offering. I am not overly unpleasant, and I am very interested in spending time with you. I want to comfort you, help you, and just be with you."

Erestor sighed. "I'm not going to be able to talk you out of this, am I?"

"Not a chance."

"Very well, then. But I have no plans to be monogamous just because you have decided to impose yourself on me."

"Fine." Actually, very not fine. But if that is what I have to deal with, I will deal with it.

Erestor collapsed down in a chair. "Are you hungry?"

"A little."

"Then go get us some food."

"Am I your servant now?"

"Afraid so."

Haldir smiled. He knew he shouldn't let Erestor take advantage of him now, because then Erestor would feel entitled to do so whenever he wanted. But Haldir didn't care right now. He walked over to Erestor and kissed him. Erestor pulled away initially, but then gave in. Haldir straightened up and walked out of the room. If he was sure of one thing, it was that he would win over Erestor's heart. He just needed time.

* * *

Glorfindel paced his room. Actually, it was Elrond's room, but he had come to think of it as his room. He had spent nearly every night with Elrond, and there was no reason to assume that any of that would change. Provided, of course, that Erestor didn't break down and agree to sleep with Elrond. But Glorfindel didn't realistically see that happening. Erestor was too strong to allow that to happen.

Elrond had been right. They were both hiding something. But unlike most things, this was not something that Glorfindel was comfortable sharing with Elrond, especially because Erestor, who had known Elrond longer, was still unwilling to share his part in said secret. It wasn't as if it were vital to Elrond that he knew, anyway. Sometimes, Elrond is too nosy for his own damn good.

A knock came at the door. Glorfindel walked over and opened it. Erestor stood behind the door. He frowned when he saw Glorfindel. "Is Elrond here, my lord?"

"No, not presently, Erestor."

"Ah. Can you tell him when you next see him that I need a moment of his time, my lord?"

"On one condition."

Erestor frowned. He was sickeningly sure what that condition was. "I shall find him myself then, my lord." He turned as if to go.

Glorfindel grabbed Erestor's wrist, hard. Erestor tried to pull away, but the resulting, sickening crack of bone in Erestor's wrist pretty much ended Erestor's resistance. Erestor grimaced in pain, but managed to contain his cries of pain. He bit his lip as Glorfindel pulled him inside the room and closed the door.

"No, Erestor," said Glorfindel quietly. "That is not how it works."

Erestor looked at the ground. Only Glorfindel could still make him feel like an Elfling. "I know, my lord."

"Strip, Erestor."

Erestor had long learned that when Glorfindel was in a mood like this, it was best to just do what he said. So he stripped out of his clothes and then leaned casually against the wall.

Glorfindel smiled at the sight. He closed his eyes, remembering.

_Erestor looked at him with a cheeky grin. "We have at least an hour, Glorfindel. Is that not enough time for you?"_

_Glorfindel smirked. "More than enough. But we have other places to be. We cannot linger here, my love."_

_Erestor advanced on him, a hungry gleam in his eye. "I want you, Glorfindel. I don't want to wait until tonight. I don't want to wait any more. You have denied me now for more than a month and I can't take it any longer."_

_"Drawing it out makes it all the better when it finally happens." Glorfindel already knew the outcome of this. He was drawing it out as long as he could to see how far he could push Erestor._

_Erestor was breathing hard now, his arousal painfully clear. "Glorfindel, please. I thought you loved me…"_

_"Indeed I do."_

_"Then how can you do this to me?"_

_"With ease. I get a measure of satisfaction knowing that you are at my mercy."_

_"So long only as I am faithful to you. I could get anyone I wanted. You know that."_

_"But you chose me."_

_"Correct."_

_"Do you love me?"_

_"Yes, dammit, yes."_

_"Do you want me?"_

_"Have I not made that quite clear?"_

_"Afraid not." Glorfindel grinned. He allowed Erestor to push him against the wall, to kiss him hungrily, his hands moving as fast as they could to remove clothing. Glorfindel found his hands doing the same. He hadn't really been aware of how much he wanted Erestor until this very moment. When both of them were nude, Erestor stepped back and admired Glorfindel's body. He leaned casually against the wall, leaving the next move up to Glorfindel._

"Get on your knees, Erestor." Erestor closed his eyes in annoyance but, as always, did exactly what Glorfindel wanted, when Glorfindel wanted it. It had always been that way.

* * *

Elrond wanted to kill Haldir. But he didn't think that that would be in the best interests of Imladris. Lothlórien was not a place he could afford to make an enemy out of. It had started when he had offered to find some guest quarters for Haldir to use during his stay. Haldir had smiled in that smug, impudent way of his, and had said, "That won't be necessary. I have found sleeping arrangements more suitable than that, though your offer is most gracious."

Elrond wondered if Erestor knew that Haldir intended to move in with him. To the best of Elrond's knowledge (and Elrond's knowledge was quite formidable), no elf had ever taken up residence with Erestor. Erestor preferred casual sex. Elrond wondered if Haldir knew that. Elrond also knew that if Erestor didn't want Haldir sharing his bed every night, he would make it painfully clear. If that was the case, Haldir would almost certainly be hurt. But he deserves it. Elrond pressed that thought out of his mind. That was unsuitable for someone in a position like his.

And now Haldir was back in his study. Elrond put on what he hoped was a pleasant expression and asked, "What can I do for you, Haldir?"

"I wish to talk to you."

"That would be plainly obvious from the fact that you are standing here in front of me when I am trying to work."

"I apologize for the inconvenience, my lord. But I believe what I wish to talk about concerns you as well."

"What is this matter, then?"

"Erestor."

Elrond wasn't sure that he had managed to hide the grimace that came to his face. From Haldir's expression, he doubted it. "What, exactly, do you wish to talk about regarding Erestor?"

"Can we drop the formality, Elrond? We've known each other a really long time, and Erestor is a friend to both of us."

Elrond sighed. "If we must."

Haldir sat down in a chair by the side of the room. "Something is seriously wrong with Erestor, and I suspect it concerns your relationship with Glorfindel."

"I have made it more than clear to Erestor that if he wishes to share my bed, the place is his."

"That's not what I mean, Elrond."

"Then what do you mean?"

"He fell asleep crying last night in my arms. When he came back from talking with you, he was crying. How many times have you seen Erestor cry, Elrond?"

Elrond frowned, thinking. Looking back over the countless years he had known Erestor, he could not name one time that he saw Erestor cry. "I don't believe I have seen him cry."

"Exactly. Neither had I, until last night. I would like to get to the bottom of this problem. We are Erestor's friends, and we should help him during his time of need."

"I don't want you sleeping with him again," Elrond blurted out.

Haldir looked momentarily confused. "Why?"

"Because I love him."

"If you love him, then you should also know that he loves you as well. When you seek another, he has every right to do so. Someone has to be there to comfort him, to hold him in his sleep…"

"I would gladly be that person!"

"Well, for whatever reason, he doesn't want it to be you. I…we will find out why. I know he loves you. He confided that to me a long time ago. But something has changed…"

"Nothing has changed. He is friendly enough, but any time the subject of attraction comes up, he retreats into a shell through which I cannot follow. I want to help him as much as you do."

"Then stop pressing him for whatever it is you want. That will only make things worse. Let him accept his feelings in his own time. Meanwhile, we will try and root to the bottom of all this tension between Erestor and Glorfindel. Because, obviously, that is where the problem lies…"

"That is where part of the problem lies," clarified Elrond. "I do not think that Glorfindel is the source of all these problems. But I…we will find out the source. If you care about him as much as I do, then you must help me find a way to fix him."

"He is not a broken toy, my lord."

"No. He isn't. He is a broken elf."

* * *

Erestor grimaced as he tightly bandaged his broken wrist. He didn't want do draw attention to it, but it would be less likely to get more injured like this. He had always known Glorfindel was strong, but he had never broken a bone before. Sexually, he was quite rough, but he had always been. Otherwise, though, he had rarely laid a violent hand on Erestor. Indeed, there had been a time when he would never have thought to do so.

_Erestor couldn't help but smile when he saw Glorfindel walk down the corridor. He had a bunch of flowers in his hand. There was a distracted expression on his face. Erestor waited patiently for Glorfindel to walk over to him. "Those for me or your other lover?" teased Erestor._

_Glorfindel grinned. "Afraid so."_

_Erestor nodded in mock-sorrow. "Then go see him. You surely don't want me around."_

_Glorfindel backed Erestor into his room and kicked the door shut with his foot. He kissed Erestor hard, the flowers forgotten. "I will never not want you around, love."_

_Erestor pulled away a little. "Don't make promises you know you can't keep."_

_A puzzled expression appeared on Glorfindel's face. "Why do you think I can't promise that I'll always love you?"_

_Erestor shook his head. "We live forever, Glorfindel. Well…save war or other unpleasant occasions. But, in general, unless elves are bonded, relationships will not last for all eternity."_

_"Then let us be bonded!"_

_Glorfindel's enthusiasm shocked Erestor. He stepped back from Glorfindel, studying him. "You don't want to do that. We are both too young. I only passed my majority three years ago. I can't say that I'm ready to make that kind of commitment…"_

_"Are you saying you don't love me?" Glorfindel looked genuinely hurt._

_Erestor smiled. "Of course I love you. But I don't know that I will always love you. We have not even been together six months yet. And you are already asking me to make an eternal commitment? Can we not wait and see whether this is lust or love?"_

_Glorfindel nodded solemnly. "You are too wise for your years." He brightened. "Will you make me a promise?"_

_"What?"_

_"That if we continue to love each other as much as we love each other right now, will you bond with me?"_

_"So this is a kind of proposal?"_

_"A bad one, yes. But I love you. And I can't think of anyone else on Arda that I would rather spend my life with other than you."_

"Something on your mind?" said a voice from the doorway.

Erestor turned, forgetting about his arm and the fact that he didn't want to show it to anyone until it was better. It was Haldir. "No."

"What happened to your wrist?" asked Haldir in an extremely worried tone of voice. He rushed over and inspected Erestor's wrist. "Is it sprained?"

"Broken."

"Erestor, who broke your wrist?"

"Haldir, I fell. Those things do happen from time to time."

Haldir smiled. "Didn't know you were that clumsy."

Erestor smiled internally. It looked like he was going to get away with that ploy. "Despite my lofty achievements, yes, I am still an idiot that trips on occasion and injures myself." He grinned. "How about you make me feel better?" With his good hand, he stroked Haldir's chest.

Haldir took Erestor's hand in both of his own. "No."

Erestor frowned. "Why not?"

Haldir closed his eyes. It was so hard to say no to Erestor. Especially when he looks at you with those big eyes of his…gods, why does he torment me so? He pulled Erestor close, careful not to hurt Erestor's wrist further. "Just kidding." He kissed Erestor, pushed him up against the wall, and stripped him. When Erestor was nude, Haldir stepped away and smiled.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking at you."

Erestor took a step forwards, towards Haldir. Haldir took a step back. "Haldir, stop being so difficult."

"Am I being difficult?" It was getting difficult to think; his mind was clouded by arousal. Distractedly, he slipped his hand into his pants and began stroking himself.

Erestor watched Haldir, his own mind becoming similarly distracted. He stepped once more towards Haldir, who stepped backwards again. "Haldir, I'm serious. Unless…unless you start…" Erestor's words were slowly becoming more and more incoherent. "…start cooperating…I will find someone who will…"

"Is that so?" Haldir had no doubts whatsoever that Erestor would do just that. "Would I get you tonight?"

"Maybe."

The pouty look on Erestor's face pushed Haldir over the edge and he moaned slightly as he came. A contented smile appeared on his face and he said, "Okay then. As long as I get you tonight…I'm not really in the mood for you anymore." Haldir grinned insolently, walked past Erestor and out of the room.

Erestor was left hard and needy in his room. He closed his eyes as he sat down on his bed, stroking himself hard. He hadn't realized that Haldir could be so difficult. Maybe it would be interesting to fuck someone else. Haldir would surely find out about it. It would be a just punishment. But who?

* * *

Glorfindel was prowling the hallways. He was bored. Elrond had kicked him out about an hour ago, saying that he was being too distracting. And Glorfindel had no idea where Erestor was. So his two outlets for amusement were missing. As he walked, he briefly contemplated finding someone else to fuck, but he was sure that Erestor and Glorfindel were the two most attractive elves in Imladris, and he was not willing to lower himself just to pass away an afternoon.

And then he saw the tall, muscular elf walking down the hallway. He couldn't recall seeing the elf before. But he's definitely in Elrond and Erestor's league. By extension, then, he is also in mine. He approached the elf, a seductive smile on his face.

The elf glanced briefly at him, nodded a greeting, and then walked on.

Glorfindel was stunned. He couldn't understand why the elf wasn't interested. Nearly all elves were indiscriminate about gender. Unless the elf was bonded. But no, nearly all bonded elves wore a ring of some sort, and this elf's hands were devoid of any jewelry. Now Glorfindel was confused. But he sensed a challenge. And if there was one thing Glorfindel was always ready for, it was a challenge. He headed down the hallway in the direction of the elf. It did not take long to catch up to said elf.

"Hello," said Glorfindel, deciding to go for a less seductive approach in case the other elf felt intimidated. "I don't believe we have met before."

"No," said the elf.

"I'm Glorfindel."

"I know."

Glorfindel frowned in frustration. "What is your name?"

"Haldir."

"Of Lorien?"

"Yes. Of Lorien."

"Are you just visiting?"

"Yes."

"When did you arrive?"

"Last night."

"How long are you staying?"

Haldir stopped in the hallway and turned to face Glorfindel. "I did not know it was Imladris custom to interrogate new guests. Or if it is simply the way you try to find prospective bedmates…" he raised a hand to prevent Glorfindel from speaking and continued, "but I can tell you that it will not work with me. I have heard enough of your exploits to want to take no part."

"The things I could show you…"

"I know enough by myself, thank you."

"You'd really be missing out…"

"I have a loved one. And unlike some, I am unwilling to throw away that love simply to pass an afternoon. Is your lover not Elrond? Is he not enough for you? Does he know you attempt to seduce every pretty face in Imladris?"

"For one, Haldir of Lorien, my lover is none of your business. And secondly, I have no desire to seduce you nor to bed you. I have heard…that you are sharing rooms with Erestor. Are those rumors true?"

"Is that any of your business, Lord Glorfindel?" Haldir smiled smugly, and then walked away from Glorfindel.

Glorfindel did not bother to follow.

* * *

As Elrond had told Glorfindel when he had sent him away, he really was busy. Life outside Imladris did continue, no matter the heartbreak that seemed to have appeared recently in Imladris. Orc attacks were increasing. Elrond knew that he would have to send Glorfindel out soon. They could wipe out each individual force of orc, but the key was to get the central command post. And that was what they needed Glorfindel (or Erestor) for.

But it was very hard to keep his mind on external affairs when Erestor's face kept popping up in his mind. A trade delegation from Mirkwood was to be arriving the following week. Elrond knew he had a lot to plan so that it didn't all fall through, especially as the king's youngest son would be arriving as well. Reports said that the elf was quite attractive. Elrond didn't want to think about what kind of chaos Legolas could cause.

He had been working all afternoon and he had decided that he deserved a break. A part of him instinctually wanted to seek out Glorfindel, but he knew that that would be the wrong thing to do. He lusted after Glorfindel, he enjoyed sleeping with him, but Elrond really didn't like him enough to want him permanently in his life. Glorfindel was just too annoying for that.

He stood up and suddenly found a pair of hands slip around his waist. Elrond pulled away from the unfamiliar contact; those hands were most definitely not Glorfindel's. The grip tightened, pulling Elrond back against a warm body. Elrond's mind raced, trying to think who would dare to touch him like this. Then his brain froze for a second as a warm mouth descended on his neck, biting just hard enough to leave a mark that Elrond knew he was going to have to explain to Glorfindel. Once again, he tried to pull away. An impatient voice said, "What are you doing, Elrond?"

"Erestor?!"

"Yes?" The hands became looser. One roamed up Elrond's shirt, caressing the smooth, hard chest. The other dropped a little to rest on Elrond's hip.

"What are you doing, Erestor?" asked Elrond, trying to marshal some evidence of control, even though he wanted nothing more than what he was getting.

"Is this not what you want, Elrond?"

Elrond distantly registered that Erestor was no longer calling him 'my lord'. "Yes, but…Erestor, think about what you're doing. You don't want to do this." Elrond couldn't believe he was saying this, but deep down, he knew it was true. Elrond knew enough of Erestor to know that Erestor had to have some kind of ulterior motive. "I want this, but I know you don't."

"Do you now?" The hand on Elrond's hip moved to the ties of Elrond's pants.

"Erestor," said Elrond, trying valiantly to remain in control, even though he knew he was losing control more and more every second, "I know how this is going to end. I don't know how much further we'll get, but then you'll lose your nerve and we'll end up not talking for a month. Maybe longer. I don't want that. I'm willing to have just you friendship if it means that we can not fight all the time over stupid little insignificant things."

Erestor deftly untied Elrond's pants. "If you really want me to stop, I will. But I can guarantee you that this will not affect anything. This is a one-time offer. Take it or leave it."

Elrond tried to turn to face Erestor, but one hand held him firmly in place. "What…why?" asked Elrond.

"Don't ask me those things," said Erestor softly. Elrond thought he heard a tint of sadness in Erestor's voice. Erestor pushed Elrond's pants down. Elrond moaned at the sheer ecstasy of knowing who was doing this to him. Erestor kissed Elrond's neck again, one hand holding him firmly against his body, the other slowly stroking Elrond's member.

"Will this ever happen again?" Elrond managed to ask.

"Probably not."

"I do love you, Erestor. I hope you know that."

"Yes, I know."

"Let me kiss you. Just once."

"No, Elrond."

"So you're going to call me 'Elrond' from now on?"

"No. You will always be 'my lord'. This is a one-time exception. It will not happen again. So I can call you Elrond now if I like."

"What will you do if Glorfindel walks in right now?"

Erestor smiled and kissed the back of Elrond's neck. "I don't think he will. If he does…I don't know what I shall do. Let's just hope he doesn't."

"Can I ask you a question?" Elrond was surprised by how calm he could remain.

"Of course."

"Do you love Glorfindel?"

Elrond came suddenly, collapsing back into Erestor's arms with a faint moan. Erestor kissed his neck tenderly, then easily lifted Elrond up and placed him on the couch. Elrond looked at Erestor fondly. "Answer my question."

Erestor had made it most of the way to the door before he answered, without turning, "Almost as much as I hate him."

* * *

Please give me feedback!!!!!!! It's the only way i know whether to continue this or not 


	3. Elven Hearts

Notes: Please give me feedback...please??  
More Notes: in case I forgot to mention before, this is not beta-read...all mistakes are mine.  
Even more notes: sorry, but in this section it wouldn't work otherwise, so there's some self-mutilation. Sorry if you're not into that. Yup, and there's some bondage in here too. Sorry that this is such a violent part.

* * *

Legolas walked through the courtyard to meet the leaders of Imladris. Elrond, as always, looked exceptionally regal. He was wearing a shimmering robe that seemed to change colors every moment. His dark hair was pulled away from his face, and his mithril circlet of office contrasted nicely with the darkness. But Legolas noticed something else that hadn't been there last time they had met. But that had been when Legolas was much younger, a mere Elfling. If Legolas hadn't known better, he would have called it love. But Legolas had heard no news of any relationship, no bonding, no anything. And if there had been a female elf in his life, surely they would be here right now. Unless it's not a female he's in love with some part of Legolas's brain told him. The thought didn't surprise him. Many elves would sleep with both male and female, himself not excluded. Still, Legolas couldn't help but wonder who it was in Imladris that had captured Elrond's heart. Elrond was very much, in many ways, a prize.

His Chief Advisor, Erestor, stood next to him. Briefly, Legolas wondered if it was Erestor that was Elrond's lover. But he quickly dismissed that thought. Erestor had always seemed cold and distant to him. And he had met Erestor not more than a year ago, and he had gotten the distinct impression that Erestor wasn't the kind of person to form relationships. Erestor had even made a brief attempt to seduce Legolas, but Legolas had been head over heels with someone else at that point. In a detached manner, Legolas could see that Erestor was very attractive, almost as much as Elrond. But there was a coldness, a bitterness around Erestor that Legolas couldn't sense around Erestor.

Two blond elves stood behind Erestor and Elrond. One of them Legolas instantly recognized; it was the famous Balrog slayer, Glorfindel. Legolas couldn't fathom why Glorfindel would be in Imladris, but Legolas had genuinely wanted to meet the famous elf for a long time. He looked regal in a different way than Elrond; his manner seemed to demand instant respect, whereas Elrond seemed to be the kind of elf that didn't need to demand it.

The other elf Legolas recognized after a few moments; it was Haldir of Lorien. Legolas had only met him once or twice, but the elf struck him as bossy and annoying. Still, Legolas wouldn't be discourteous to him, that was simply not his way.

Glorfindel smiled when he saw Legolas. Haldir had thus far been unresponsive to his seduction attempts. Elrond was already his and Erestor wasn't going anywhere. But Legolas, he felt, would be a new challenge. The elf was young, far younger than Elrond or Erestor. He would be fun. But he would be a challenge. And challenges really eased the monotony of life.

* * *

Elrond glanced at Erestor as the greetings were made. He was morbidly curious as to whether Erestor had bedded Legolas as well. He had been making discreet inquiries, and he had discovered that Erestor had slept with about 80 percent of Imladris. That upset him. But he hadn't pressed Erestor for anything more or asked for an explanation of what they had done. Erestor had not brought up the subject, either.

Haldir could sense growing tension, though between whom he wasn't sure. He stepped forwards to murmur to Elrond, "I'm taking Erestor out of here."

Elrond nodded. To his annoyance, Haldir seemed to be a good influence on Erestor. The two had been sleeping together for about a week now. Erestor was more typically in a good mood now and rarely fought with Glorfindel. Elrond didn't want to admit it, but he knew deep down that Haldir gave Erestor the kind of security and comfort that Elrond didn't think he would ever be able to offer.

Haldir put a hand on Erestor's shoulder and whispered. "We're going now."

Erestor turned around, an eyebrow raised in question. "Why?"

"Because I'm jealous."

"Jealous?" Erestor allowed himself to be led away. He loved the attention Haldir showered upon him.

Once they were a good distance away, Haldir continued. "Yes. There's Elrond, and Glorfindel, and Legolas. I am easily the ugliest of the five of us and I would not want to lose you to any of them."

"I do not believe in relationships, Haldir," said Erestor steadfastly.

"Really? Have you been with anyone else in the past week?"

"Yes," said Erestor nonchalantly. He saw the hurt appear on Haldir's face and added, "I told you when you moved in that I had no interest in monogamy."

Haldir nodded sadly, then walked off. He had really thought that he had gotten Erestor to care enough about him to not feel the need to be with anyone else.

Glorfindel had followed the two and had heard their almost-fight. He smiled to himself. Erestor was enough of a self-destructive person to hurt everyone he cared about in order to protect that which he cared about most, himself. He followed after Erestor discreetly. He knew what kind of mood Erestor would be in.

_"No, you absolutely can't move in with me," said Erestor calmly._

_Glorfindel pouted. "Why the hell not?"_

_"Because my father would kill me."_

_"What are you, an Elfling that still must do what your parents say?"_

_"Glorfindel I'm warning you."_

_Glorfindel took Erestor's hands and led him to the couch, where they both sat. "Let's discuss this like rational adults. I love you. I presume you love me." He paused, waiting for Erestor to signal agreement. Once he had nodded, Glorfindel continued. "We have been together for a little more than a year. We may be young, but some have to fall in love young. There's no reason at all that we can't live together. Everyone knows we sleep together, so it can't even be that. Tell me why it is that you feel that we can't live together like any normal couple?"_

_"Because I am an independent person..."_

_"You are the most needy person I have ever met, Erestor."_

_Erestor smiled sheepishly. "Fine. I...I don't think I'm ready for that kind of commitment. The same way that I'm not ready to bond with you. I take a long time to make up my mind."_

_Glorfindel looked past Erestor to the bedroom that he would hopefully be spending the night in. "Can we just go to bed now?"_

_"No...Glorfindel...I...this isn't going to work..."_

_"What isn't going to work?" asked Glorfindel, fearing the conversation was turning in a dangerous direction._

_"You and me..."_

_"What?"_

_"I think that...we're not good for each other...I need some room...I can't deal with this right now..."_

_"Are you trying to break up with me, Erestor?" A horrible thought occurred to him. "Is there...is there someone else?"_

_Erestor looked up at him. Glorfindel saw no emotion in those eyes. "Yes."_

_Later, Glorfindel went back to Erestor's room to collect some things that had found their way there. He found Erestor curled up on his bed, crying. It had taken some time for Glorfindel to gather that there was no one else. Erestor had just felt smothered._

* * *

Elrond wondered at how Glorfindel, Haldir, and Erestor had all managed to go missing at the same time. And none of them could be found. He had been entertaining Legolas and hadn't realized this until much later. A horrible thought had darted into his mind; were they all together? Elrond couldn't stand the thought of Haldir touching Erestor, much less Glorfindel. But he managed to banish the thought from his mind. Erestor hated Glorfindel; he wouldn't let Glorfindel do anything.

A knock on his door. "Come in," he called. He hoped it was Erestor. But the door opened to reveal Haldir. "What can I do for you?"

"Have you seen Erestor?"

Elrond saw that Haldir looked very upset, and saw what could be tear stains on his cheeks. He rose to his feet and guided Haldir to a chair. "What's wrong, Haldir, my old friend?"

Elrond saw Haldir fight to keep his composure. "It's Erestor. He...I thought...never mind what I thought...he's sleeping with other elves, Elrond..."

"Didn't he warn you that he would do that?"

"Yes."

Elrond smiled inadvertently. "Well, I hate to say this, but he warned you. I could have told you, Haldir, that Erestor does not have relationships. I am rather surprised you lasted as long as you did..."

"Dammit, Elrond, I care about him as much as you do...Do you know who it is?"

"Who what is?"

"Who else he's sleeping with?"

"Not a clue."

"Is it you?"

"No."

"I don't believe you. Something about the way you answered...it was too quick...when?"

"Haldir...you could hardly define it as sleeping with him. It lasted...five minutes tops."

"Was there anyone else?" Haldir was finding it very hard to keep his emotions under the surface.

"Not that I know of. But Erestor does not often share his personal life with me. We are friends mostly in a professional capacity."

"I will find out..."

"And then do what?" challenged Elrond. "Erestor is his own person; he is free to do as he wishes. You two are not bonded; he has no obligation to spend his nights only with you. There is nothing you can do."

Haldir threw his hands up into the air. "Then what am I to do, Elrond? I care about him a lot and I...I know that he's throwing his life away with these flings. I just want to see him happy with one elf, even if that elf isn't me. I want him to be happy, and I know for a fact that he isn't happy right now."

Elrond frowned. "Do you know anything about Erestor and Glorfindel...a past friendship or anything?"

Haldir smiled sadly. "I thought you would have known already. It surprises me that neither has told you."

"Told me what?" Elrond smiled inside, thinking that he had finally found a way to get the knowledge that had so elusively evaded him.

Haldir shook his head. "It's not mine to tell. Ask them."

Elrond frowned in frustration. "They won't tell me."

Haldir shrugged. "Then I can't help you. I would never betray their trust."

* * *

Glorfindel walked in the room without knocking. He didn't feel that he had to knock at Erestor's door. He found Erestor sitting on his couch, eyes closed. One eye opened when he heard footsteps, and closed again when he saw that it was Glorfindel. "What can I do for you, my lord?"

"My name is Glorfindel."

A sarcastic smile. "Very well. What can I do for you, Glorfindel?"

"I heard that you fought with Haldir earlier."

Erestor shrugged. "It wasn't right. It wouldn't have worked. We both knew it; only I was bold enough to state it. We're two different people..." He was cut off as Glorfindel walked over, leaned down, and captured his lips in a searing kiss.

"Like you and me?" Glorfindel asked when they finally broke apart.

"We were fools then. Young fools."

Glorfindel smiled. It was a true statement. He pulled Erestor to his feet and led him to the bedroom. Erestor frowned. He had been trying to put this off, but he knew that Glorfindel could, at times, have a very one-track mind. But what he expected did not happen. Glorfindel pushed Erestor down onto the bed, then snuggled up behind him, one strong arm around Erestor's chest. Erestor tried to wriggle free. "What are you doing?" asked Glorfindel lazily.

"What are you doing?" retorted Erestor.

"Was it really that long ago?" asked Glorfindel. "You used to like lying in my arms..."

"That was a very long time ago, Glorfindel."

Glorfindel's arm slipped down to wrap around Erestor's waist. "I still want you, Erestor. You need to know that."

Erestor once again tried to pull away and once again was unsuccessful. Glorfindel planted a gentle kiss on the side of Erestor's neck. "Let me go, Glorfindel."

"Have I changed that much?"

"Yes...no, you haven't. You've always been like this. I just got sick of it. And that's why it wouldn't work between us. I know we've had this conversation before. I know Elrond is happy with you."

"He's not you."

"You sound like you really loved me."

Erestor heard a choking sound that seemed strangely like a sob. "I did, Erestor. I still do. I...I've done so many terrible things, Erestor...to you...to so many other people. I am a horrible person, Erestor, I hate what I've become. I can't stand myself anymore...it's only when I'm around you...that I feel like I'm the old me again...only...the way I used you...I disgust myself." Glorfindel fell silent and Erestor did not prompt him to speak again.

Elrond paced his room. It was nearly midnight and Glorfindel had not come back to their room. A part of him was worried, but more was angry. Glorfindel was his. And he had nowhere else to stay. So, in Elrond's mind, Glorfindel had nowhere to be but here in this room at night. As he wasn't here, Elrond assumed that he was with some other elf. And that hurt a lot. He had tried his best to keep Glorfindel happy.

* * *

There was a knock on the door. Elrond called, "Come in." He knew it wasn't Glorfindel, because Glorfindel didn't knock.

Haldir walked in. He looked to be at the point of tears. "Elrond...I just saw the most terrible thing."

"What?" asked Elrond, immediately alarmed.

"I know who Erestor's other lover is."

Elrond closed his eyes. It was a shame that Haldir had had to walk in on whatever he had walked in on. But a part of him was intensely curious, too. "Who?"

"Glorfindel."

"What?!"

Haldir nodded. "They were sleeping in his bed. I cannot think of any other reason why they would be in the same room...unless they were lovers."

Elrond cursed mildly under his breath. _Erestor has gone way out of his bounds here. He knows Glorfindel is mine. How dare he take him from me? _"I wish I could tell you something to ease your mind, Haldir, but I feel the same way right now."

"I know. That's why I felt I had to tell you."

Elrond put his hands to his temples, as if fighting off a bad headache. "I can't believe that he'd do that," he said softly.

Haldir walked over and put his hand on Elrond's shoulder. "I wish that this hadn't happened at least as much as you. But...there's nothing we can do about it." He wanted so very badly to get back at Erestor and sleep with Elrond tonight. He knew that Elrond wouldn't stop him. But he also knew that the betrayal would eat at him and would give him no peace, not even a sense of revenge.

Elrond seemed to be thinking along the same lines. "Do you want to stay tonight, Haldir?"

Haldir found it very hard to say no. There was nothing unappealing or unattractive about Elrond. But that wouldn't make it right. "No, Elrond. I can't. I still love Erestor."

"Dammit, can't you see that he doesn't care about you?" Elrond grabbed Haldir and kissed him fiercely.

Haldir tried to pull away, but Elrond was stronger. He managed to murmur, "No, Elrond, I don't want this," before everything got out of control.

Later, in bed, while Elrond was sleeping, Haldir could not sleep. He despised himself. No matter what Erestor felt about him, he knew for sure that he loved Erestor. And that was what counted. He couldn't believe that he had betrayed that love for a night of lust.

* * *

When Erestor awoke, memories of the previous night flooded his mind. He shifted slightly and saw that Glorfindel was still sleeping soundly. Smiling slightly, he pulled himself out of the embrace and went to the bathroom to ready himself for the day. A part of him regretted letting Glorfindel stay the night, even though nothing had happened. He had closed the door on that relationship a long time ago and was unwilling reopen it.

"Erestor?" he heard Glorfindel call.

Erestor stuck his head out of the bathroom door. "Yeah?"

"Get back to bed."

Erestor smiled. "It's morning. We must spar soon. Get up."

"Come back to bed."

"I already said no."

More quickly than Erestor realized was possible, Glorfindel got out of bed and shoved Erestor up against the wall beside the bathroom door. His hands efficiently pulled both of them out of the clothes they were wearing. "Erestor, you are mine. Whenever I want you, wherever I want you, however I want you. Understand."

Erestor tried to pull away. Glorfindel hit him hard in the side of the face. Erestor went limp. Glorfindel frowned and pulled Erestor away from the wall. Erestor fell limply into Glorfindel's arms. With a snort of disgust, Glorfindel let Erestor drop to the ground. He got dressed again. He knew he had been unbelievably weak the previous night. But his barriers were up again and he had no intention of making the same mistake twice. Casting one look back at Erestor, he walked out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

Once in the hallways, he had to decide where to go. He could guess that Elrond would be full of questions, demanding where he had been. He really wasn't in the mood for that right now. So he wandered aimlessly until he saw Legolas walking around as well. A smile appeared on his face.

"Good morning, Prince Legolas," said Glorfindel. He felt he knew the way he had to seduce Legolas.

Legolas smiled. "Of all people, Glorfindel of Gondolin, you have no need to use titles around me."

Glorfindel grinned. Now I have him right where I want him. "Very well, Legolas. It is early in the morning to be up."

"You're up as well."

"I have sparring practice to attend."

"Ahh. That I would like to see. Is your opponent worthy of your steel?"

"Yes, he is. How about you, Legolas. Are you a good swordsman?"

Legolas shrugged. "Decent. I am better with a bow."

"I see. Perhaps we shall have to have a contest sometime."

"Indeed. I would enjoy that very much."

_So would I, my sweet little elf. So would I._

* * *

Haldir didn't want to go back to Erestor's room. The thought of walking in on Erestor and Glorfindel doing anything more than sleeping made him sick to his stomach. But he couldn't stand to stay in Elrond's room any more. Memories of what happened last night kept flashing through his mind and he needed to get away from it all.

So he slipped out of Elrond's room before Elrond awoke. He wandered the halls. He needed somewhere to go. Before, he had always been able to go back to Erestor, but that wasn't an option anymore. He would have to see someone about getting a room of his own. A part of him wanted nothing more than to go back to Erestor's room, kick Glorfindel out, get on his knees and beg Erestor's forgiveness. But he knew that he wasn't going to do that. So it looked like things between him and Erestor were over. That was a real shame. He had really thought there was something between them.

As he turned a corner, he saw Glorfindel talking to Legolas. Haldir was glad he didn't have his bow with him right now; if he had he would have been sorely tempted to shoot Glorfindel. As it was, he walked down the hallway towards them.

"Good morning, Haldir," said Legolas cheerily. "It is good to see you here."

Haldir managed to smile a little. "Greetings, Prince Legolas. You're right; it has been a long time since we have met. And good morning to you as well, my lord Glorfindel."

Glorfindel nodded a greeting.

Haldir continued walking down the hall. He wanted more than anything to go now to Erestor's room, now that he knew that Glorfindel wasn't there. But he couldn't stand to face the elf he loved and tell him that he'd spent the night with someone else. Once he was sure he was well out of hearing range of either of the two elves, he sank to his knees and let out a scream of pure emotional agony.

* * *

Elrond was getting annoyed; Erestor was supposed to meet him at just after noon, and he had not been seen all day. Elrond wanted to give him a piece of his mind; one did not just go around fucking whoever they wanted, especially if it was his lover.

A gentle knock at the door. "Come in," snapped Elrond.

Erestor walked in. He looked pale and tired, his hair a mess. There was a big cut above his left eye and the whole left side of his face was swollen. "Good afternoon, my lord," he said softly, tiredly.

The healer in Elrond was immediately concerned. However mad he might be at Erestor right now, he was hurt. "Sit down, Erestor." As he crossed the room to retrieve some basic medical supplies, he couldn't help but ask, "Rough sex?" He knew that Glorfindel could be a little rough sometimes.

"No," said Erestor faintly. "I haven't been with anyone in a while."

_Liar. You were with my lover last night. Your lover caught you._ Elrond sat in front of Erestor. "This is probably going to hurt." Elrond slowly began to stitch up the wound over Erestor's eye. "So how did it happen? And don't you dare say you fell."

"I got in a fight," said Erestor. That's even almost the truth. "I lost."

"I didn't know you lost fights. Who were you fighting with? Glorfindel?"

"No. Haldir." Erestor hated to make it sound like Haldir was abusing him the way Glorfindel was, but he had to come up with a plausible excuse. Glorfindel has every right to hit me. I'm worthless, I deserve it.

"When was this?"

"This morning." Erestor wondered where Haldir had spent the night and immediately decided that he'd rather not know.

Elrond had hoped to catch Erestor in a lie. He didn't believe that Haldir was the type to hit people he cared about. Elrond was almost certain that Erestor was being abused. But Erestor didn't want to talk about it, and frankly, Elrond was angry enough with Erestor right now to not want to hear it. "Erestor, I'm hear for you if you ever want to talk..."

"Talk about what, my lord?"

Elrond frowned as he finished the last stitch. "Let's drop all the pretenses. I know that you slept with Glorfindel last night. You stepped way out of your bounds there, Erestor. Glorfindel is my lover and you will...he is mine and not for you..."

"Nothing happened, my lord."

"If it had been two other elves caught sleeping in a bed together, I might have believed it. But you, the elf that will fuck anyone and Glorfindel, who could not keep his hands to himself if his life depended on it, I don't believe it. I'm just warning you, Erestor. I don't want this to ever happen again."

"And how, my lord, do you plan to stop us?" Glorfindel has been fucking me nearly as long as he has been here. Nothing will stop now because you say so.

Elrond heard the disdain in Erestor's voice. His first impulse was to be angry, but then he realized how much he cared about Erestor and wondered why he had been so hostile towards him lately. Elrond gripped Erestor's hand tightly in his. "Why has so much changed between us, Erestor?"

Erestor smiled at Elrond's whimsical tone. "We all change, my lord. We have...been through a few long weeks. I do miss talking to you, though."

"And who is stopping that?"

"No one, my lord."

"Do you want to talk right now? I...I am almost certain that someone here is abusing you. I wish you would tell me who it is. Whoever could hurt you...I can't see how anyone would want to."

"No one is hitting me or abusing me." I am getting nothing I do not deserve.

"You seem so cold and distant lately. I want to help you..."

"Do I give any indication that I need help?" Erestor felt that this conversation was getting too personal and decided that it was time to end it. "You said you had some work for me to do."

Elrond resented that Erestor was shutting him out. "Do you want to have dinner with me tonight? Just the two of us. I swear to you that I will not make any advances. I just want to talk to you."

Erestor bowed his head. "Of course, if that is what you wish, my lord."

Elrond reached back to his desk and retrieved a folder. "I need you to look this over. It's what Mirkwood says they need. I need to know if we can spare it."

Erestor took the folder. "Okay. I'll try and be able to give you an answer tonight at dinner."

"Good."

Erestor walked out of the room and walked quickly to his room. He closed the door, locked it, and sank down onto the bed, fighting the tears that had suddenly appeared in his eyes. Everything was quickly becoming too much for him and he didn't see any way out of it. He had never felt so worthless before. He rolled off the bed and opened the door to his closet. He reached up to the top and took out a large box. He set it on the ground and knelt before it. In it contained his most prized weapons. Thinking hard, he took out a short ornamental dagger. Experimentally, he tested its edge with his thumb. Immediately, a drop of blood appeared on the tip of his thumb.

He held the dagger above his left wrist, then thought better of it. He wore short sleeves too often, it would be blatantly obvious. So he sat back, thinking, weighing his choices. Finally, he slipped his pants off his right hip.

It didn't even hurt. He was surprised by that. It felt so good to bleed. One crimson line after another appeared around his hip. Tears were streaming down his face. You're worthless, you deserve to die. There is no point in living anymore.

Eventually, the tears ran out and the rage that had brought him to do this subsided. He walked to the bathroom, limping slightly from the slowly increasing pain, and washed the dagger off. He perfunctorily cleaned out his wounds; there were six in total. He wrapped a piece of cloth around them to prevent them from bleeding through his clothes and provoking awkward questions.

He placed the dagger back in the box and returned the box to the top shelf. He was completely calm now and in control of himself. There was no feeling of guilt for what he had done, and a sick feeling that this was not the last time.

* * *

Haldir was heading back to Erestor's room when Elrond intercepted him. "I need a word with you, Haldir."

Haldir grimaced. He was certain that Elrond was going to bring up last night, and if there was one thing that Haldir didn't want to discuss, it was that. But Elrond was the lord of Imladris and Haldir was his guest, so he was obligated to at least listen to him. So he allowed himself to be led into another room where they could be alone. "What do you want, Elrond?"

"I understand that you were angry with Erestor, but if you ever lay a hand on him again, I will deal with you personally."

"What are you talking about, Elrond?"

"His whole face is swollen, Haldir. Don't hit him again..."

"I would never hurt him," said Haldir in shock. "I care about him."

"Very well, Haldir."

Haldir could tell that Elrond was not convinced. Haldir left the room and went to find Erestor. He was not in his room. Then again, though, it was the middle of the day, one could hardly expect to find the Chief Advisor of Imladris napping. So he sought him out in his study. Immediately, he saw the injury that Elrond had been referring to. "Good afternoon, Erestor."

"Hello, Haldir," said Erestor, not looking up at him. His attention was focused on a paper he was holding in his left hand. "What can I do for you?"

"How did you come by that injury?"

"I fell."

"Well, you told Elrond that I hit you. I feel that you falling is another lie. Why don't you tell me the truth, Erestor? You can trust me. I will never hurt you. You need to know that. I...I love you, Erestor."

"Don't say that," said Erestor in a coldly dangerous tone of voice.

"Say what?"

"Don't say that you love me."

"Why not? It's the truth."

"Haldir, I am Elrond's Chief Advisor. I have an unbelievable amount of work to do. If you still feel the need to pester someone out of their mind, there are plenty of elves here that will take you in. As for me, I'm finished putting up with you."

"Excuse me? Are you kicking me out of your room?"

"Out of my life," corrected Erestor.

"If this has something to do with the fact that I spent the night with Elrond..."

"What?" hissed Erestor. "You slept with Elrond?"

"You slept with Glorfindel," retorted Haldir.

"That's a long story, Haldir. I don't want to find you in my rooms any longer. This was foolish, it would never last..."

"I'm not going to let you push me away..."

"Haldir!" said Erestor in a very dangerous tone of voice. "I have said what I need to say. I am second in power in Imladris. I do have the authority to do many unpleasant things to you. So I advise you just do what I say, stay away from me until such time as you choose to leave Imladris. If you don't, I shall imprison you or banish you."

"Erestor, please tell me you're joking."

"No, Haldir. I am serious."

"Is it about last night?"

"I didn't even know about it until right now."

"So what is it?"

"I can't deal with having you around all the time, questioning my every move, giving me no rest at all." I don't deserve someone like you. I don't deserve someone who cares as much as you do. I deserve elves like Glorfindel, who beats me, and Elrond, who ignores me except when he wants to fuck me. Those are the elves in my league. Not someone as good as you.

"Who's hitting you?"

"Haldir, I will give you to the count of ten to get out of my office."

"Erestor, I'm not going to let this keep happening."

"Get out," said Erestor, rising to his feet.

Haldir had seen Erestor in battle before. He couldn't say that he especially wanted the wrath that he had seen then turned upon him. So he fled, vowing to return and get to the bottom of this.

* * *

Glorfindel watched the pretty elf shoot and wanted him badly. But he was smart enough to know that one did not just corner the prince of Mirkwood in a room and fuck him. Some elves, that would work with. But Glorfindel knew he would have to be careful around Legolas. He would have to take this slow, make Legolas want him. Though, as far as he could tell, that wasn't going to take much, as the younger elf practically hero-worshipped him.

Legolas hit the center of the target. "Well shot," said Glorfindel. He had already decided on his strategy.

Legolas turned, a grin on his face. "Thank you."

Glorfindel could tell from that look that he was getting very close to exactly what he wanted. Just like when he had first met Erestor.

_Glorfindel was walking down the hallway, turning a corner, when he bumped into an elf carrying a stack of papers and sent the papers flying and both elves to the ground. Glorfindel got to his feet first, and was about to walk away when he saw the other Elfling, probably about his age. The Elfling was exquisite. He was old enough to recognize attraction, even lust, when he saw it. And he felt both towards this Elfling right now. He was smart enough to know he had to play his cards carefully._

_He bent down and began to gather the papers. "I apologize for my clumsiness. I should have been watching where I was going."_

_"No," said the other Elfling, keeping his head down as he began to also gather papers._

_"I am Glorfindel, I don't thing we've met."_

_"Erestor," offered the other Elfling._

_Glorfindel frowned. As good-looking as the elf was, he certainly wasn't a very good conversationalist. Or maybe he was just shy. "How long have you been here Erestor?"_

_"Since I was born."_

_"Ah. Where have you been hiding away since then? How is that we have not met?" But Glorfindel was fairly sure. He was already a warrior of some repute, and this Elfling looked like a scholar. It wasn't likely that their paths would cross often._

_"Well, I do believe that I have heard of you," said Erestor, looking at Glorfindel with adorable dark eyes._

_It was that moment that Glorfindel decided that he wanted Erestor, no matter the cost. "I fear that I cannot say the same of you."_

_"Most warriors can barely read, let alone care about the works of scholars," retorted Erestor._

_Glorfindel couldn't help but smile at that remark. "I fear that I am not such an elf."_

_"Elfling. Have you reached your majority?"_

_"No. Have you."_

_A sheepish grin. "No."_

_They finished collecting the papers. Glorfindel handed his stack to Erestor, who balanced it uneasily on the top of his own pile. Glorfindel could tell that the odds were that it would fall again before Erestor got to wherever he was supposed to be taking it. "Do you need my help?" he asked._

_"No," said Erestor. "I will be fine."_

_"I doubt that." Glorfindel grabbed half the papers from the top. "Where are you going?"_

_"The library."_

_"Then I shall escort you. I feel like I would like to get to know you better, Erestor. Something about you intrigues me."_

_And it was true. Erestor had intrigued him back then. Frankly speaking, Erestor still intrigued him. It had taken nearly three months to get Erestor into bed with him. And then he had found, very much to his surprise, that Erestor was no innocent. That had shocked him, and upset him a little; he had very much wanted to be Erestor's first._

"It is getting late, Glorfindel. We have been out here most of the day and my arms grow tired."

"You are too young. You have not fought in any of the wars..."

Legolas groaned. "You're starting to sound like my father. I beg you, please don't continue."

Glorfindel smiled. "Very well. Would you care for something to drink? Miruvor, perhaps?"

Legolas smiled as well. "Yes, I think I would like that very much indeed." Unless he was sorely mistaken, it looked very much like Glorfindel was attempting to seduce him. What he did not tell Glorfindel was that he would have fucked him when he first met him. Legolas was so in awe of Glorfindel that he wanted whatever Glorfindel wanted to give him.

* * *

Haldir was smart enough to know that he had to move out. That wasn't a question. Maybe he could talk his way back into Erestor's rooms, but it was clear to him that Erestor felt he needed some space and Haldir was smart enough to know to give that space. He was the same way sometimes.

One thing he was slowly becoming certain of was that the old differences between Glorfindel and Erestor were coming to the surface again. Haldir was nearly certain that Glorfindel was the cause of his most recent injury. And going from there, Haldir saw every reason to believe that Erestor's broken wrist was also of Glorfindel's doing.

He was just gathering some of the last of his things when Erestor walked in. Haldir's throat tightened; he had no idea what kind of mood Erestor was in. Haldir was in no mood to spend the night in a jail cell until he could appeal to Elrond. So he just kept his head down and went about his business. Once he had everything, he moved towards the door. Erestor was sitting comfortably in a chair, reading a thin book. Haldir glanced at him, and then his hand went out to open the door.

"I'm sorry for those things I said to you earlier," said Erestor suddenly.

Haldir nodded. "Okay."

"I don't really...I don't want you out of my life." Erestor paused for a long time. Haldir turned to face him and waited patiently for Erestor to continue. Finally, he did. "I just...I can't deal with the closeness of you staying in my room. And I can't deal with you saying that you love me."

"But what if I really do love you?"

"Who could love me?" asked Erestor bitterly. Before Haldir could answer, he said, "It was a rhetorical question, Haldir, I don't need an answer. Anyway, I would still like to be friends..."

"I don't want to be just friends." Haldir put the various things he was holding on the ground and walked over to where Erestor was sitting. "I care deeply about you. I want to stay with you. We don't have to do anything if you don't want, but I am staying here."

Erestor reached out and took Haldir's hands in his. "I can't let you."

"Why not?"

"Because you're too good for me."

"Don't kid yourself, Erestor. I like everything about you...please don't shut me out. I want to help you."

"And that's another thing. I'm an independent person. I can't deal with someone hovering around me all the time, trying to 'help' me, even though I am quite certain that I do not need any help."

"Exactly. You don't know how badly you need it..."

Erestor pulled his hands back, frowning. "I refuse to be treated like some poor defenseless thing that needs all the help it can get. I am fine, I have been fine ever since I met you and before that. I don't need you to always be around. I'm not an invalid child."

"I never said you were, Erestor. Don't misunderstand me..."

"Listen. I don't need help. I do need you here, just to be here, not to try to help me or anything, but just to be here with me."

Haldir hauled Erestor up from the chair; it wasn't hard because Erestor wasn't trying to resist, and hugged him tightly. In his ear, he murmured, "I will always be here with you. I will always stand by your side, as long as you live." He heard Erestor let out a shuddering sob and held Erestor until he regained control of himself. Once that had happened, Haldir said, "But on one condition."

"What?" mumbled Erestor into his shoulder.

"You won't sleep with anyone else."

"Haldir..."

"There has to be some trust between us. And I feel...betrayed every time that you choose to warm your bed with someone else. I know Glorfindel hurt you, but that doesn't mean you should lock your heart away..."

"Haldir, listen to me. I...I can promise you that I will...but on one condition of my own."

"Anything."

"Give up Lorien. Move here with me. Permanently...bond with me."

Haldir bit his lip. He loved Lorien; it had some quality that Imladris, fair as it was, lacked. Haldir wasn't sure that he could give that up. He knew that he had paused too long and so said, "That's a lot to ask from me, Erestor. And you know that."

Erestor pulled away a little, nodded. "I'm sorry. It's not fair for me to ask that of you. Forget I mentioned it." But Haldir saw that something had died in Erestor's eyes as he said those words.

Haldir shook his head. "That's not what I meant. I would be more than willing to bond with you. I just don't think I could deal with never seeing Lorien again. I'd ask you to come back with me..."

"But I love Imladris."

"Yes. And that's why I won't ask you to come back with me." Haldir shrugged. "We have reached an impasse."

Erestor smiled. "So what shall we do?"

Haldir thought about this. "I think we should give this more time. I don't want to rush into anything and I don't think you do either."

Erestor shook his head. "No, I don't."

Haldir pulled Erestor close. "I do love you, Erestor."

"I know."

* * *

Glorfindel was not sure if Legolas was drunk yet, but if he wasn't, he was very close. Glorfindel had been sliding slowly closer to Legolas, and he was fairly sure that Legolas had noticed and was doing nothing to stop him. That made Glorfindel bolder, and his right hand came down to rest lightly on Legolas's thigh.

"What you doing?" asked Legolas lightly.

"It seemed like a comfortable place," replied Glorfindel, who knew he was not nearly as drunk as Legolas.

"And was it?"

"Very. But you know what would be more comfortable?"

"Hmm?"

Glorfindel grabbed Legolas and pushed him down on the couch, straddling his hips. "This. This is much more comfortable."

Legolas smiled. "I agree." He was not nearly as drunk as Glorfindel thought him to be, but that was okay by him. This was the famous Balrog-slayer. Legolas would do whatever Glorfindel wanted.

"I also think that we are wearing far too many clothes," Glorfindel said with a smirk. He wanted to see Legolas's body. He seemed so young, so innocent...like a blond version of Erestor, he mused distractedly. "Especially your pants."

"I think those will be hard to take off, as you are sitting on me," replied Legolas.

Glorfindel raised himself enough off of Legolas to pull Legolas's pants off, and then settled back down.

"What about your pants?"

"You're going to have take them off yourself."

Glorfindel found Legolas more than equal to the task. It was no more than thirty seconds before all their clothes had been removed. Then Legolas surprised Glorfindel by overpowering him and throwing him face-down on the ground. Legolas leaned down to bite Glorfindel's ear and whispered, "Erestor is my friend, Glorfindel. I know what you did to him."

Glorfindel tried to push Legolas off him, but Glorfindel was held down quite ably by the surprisingly strong Legolas. "I want you, Legolas," he managed to moan.

"And you're lucky that I want you as well. Otherwise, my darling Balrog-slayer, I would already have you in chains for your clumsy attempt at seduction."

That was the last straw for Glorfindel. Clumsy attempt at seduction? Seduction was one thing that Glorfindel was good at, and knew he was good at. Using all his strength, he flipped Legolas off his back and repositioned them so that he was on top and Legolas was stretched out beneath him. "You can't do anything to me." He knew this was blatantly untrue, that Legolas could do just about anything to him after this encounter was over, but that was the reason for the little vial of a certain potion he might or might not have stolen from Elrond's workshop.

Glorfindel liked the fact that Legolas fought him. Elrond had never fought him, and Erestor had long since given up trying. As he was thrusting in and out of Legolas, Erestor crossed his mind. He wondered how Erestor was, and how large a bruise there would be on his face. That thought amused him. Erestor had usually been the strong one in their relationship, and it amused him to have come back here and found him so incredibly submissive.

_"I'm telling you right now Glorfindel that you can't spend the night." Erestor was sitting up in bed, looking down upon Glorfindel. Glorfindel felt that Erestor was often looking down upon him despite his considerable height advantage over Erestor._

_"And I'm saying it's past midnight and I'd just like to get some sleep before I have to go on patrol tomorrow."_

_"Because it would take you more than five minutes to get back to your room?" asked Erestor slyly._

_"I know you want me to stay." Glorfindel began to rise to a sitting position, so that he could talk face-to-face with Erestor, but Erestor pushed him back down._

_"No. Stay down. Down beneath me. That's where you belong."_

_Glorfindel was surprised by the spitefulness in Erestor's words. Erestor had a sharp tongue, no one would deny that, least of all Glorfindel, but never before had Erestor said something so uncaring. "What do you mean, Erestor?" Once more he tried to rise and once more he was pushed back down. If this was some game Erestor was playing, Glorfindel was more than happy to play it, but he would at least like to know what the game was._

_"Shut up." Erestor got out of the bed and walked out of Glorfindel's sight for a moment. Glorfindel knew that he could leave right now, but he wanted to know what was on Erestor's mind. Frankly, it turned him on to see Erestor this unusually aggressive. Erestor returned with two things in his hands; a knife and some rope._

_Glorfindel grinned; he hadn't known that Erestor was into bondage. Erestor cut a length of rope and bound Glorfindel's hands, then bound his feet. Glorfindel was a little alarmed at the expression on Erestor's face; it wasn't of lust or excitement, but hatred, pure and simple, like he was punishing Glorfindel for something. Erestor pushed Glorfindel over onto his stomach. "What are you doing, Erestor?" asked Glorfindel._

_"Shut up. I told you to shut up before and I won't ask you again."_

_Glorfindel's breath became shallow. He was afraid now, and wasn't sure if this was a game anymore. And if it wasn't, Glorfindel didn't want to think about what it might be._

_Then he felt a white-hot pain in his back and writhed away from it._

_"Don't move," said Erestor's too-calm voice. His strong hand held Glorfindel down as the pain continued. Then he surprised Glorfindel by leaning down and gently kissing the side of Glorfindel's neck. "Don't worry. This won't last too much longer."_

_Glorfindel was more concerned about what exactly Erestor was doing rather than how long it would take, but it seemed to him that some of the Erestor he knew was resurfacing, the kind, loving Erestor, instead of this ruthless, brutal one. "What are you doing?"_

_"Making you mine."_

_Glorfindel smiled as the pain stopped. No, that wasn't true. There was still an agonizing pain between his shoulder blades, but the pain wasn't spreading. Whatever Erestor had been doing to him was over now. Glorfindel felt the rope at his ankles being cut and then his wrists were freed as well. Erestor disappeared again, and returned with a bandage._

_"I'm sorry," Erestor murmured. "But I had to do this."_

_"What did you do?" asked Glorfindel, confident that he could now talk freely again._

_"Stand up."_

_Glorfindel did and followed Erestor to the mirror. Erestor produced another mirror and held it in such a way that Glorfindel could see the mark between his shoulder blades. It was a small, very neat, careful 'E'._

_Erestor leaned in to kiss him. "See, beloved. You are mine now."_

This memory made Glorfindel's climax even better, even though he was able to restrain himself from calling out Erestor's name. The small scar between his shoulder blades throbbed, reminding him as always of his connection to Erestor. For Erestor had put a drop of his own blood into the wound. And unless Glorfindel was very much mistaken, Erestor had taken some of Glorfindel's blood into his own slight wound on his finger. They were as bound as though they had taken an oath. And that, considered Glorfindel as he got up and retrieved the vial from his clothes and force-fed it to Legolas, was what made Erestor his and only his, his whenever he wanted.

* * *

Elrond couldn't fail to notice how distracted Erestor was when he came into Elrond's rooms. "I've done a terrible thing," Erestor announced.

Elrond was used to hearing such morbid announcements. Anytime the slightest thing went wrong, Erestor found a way to connect the blame to himself. It amused Elrond to a point, and annoyed him as well. He didn't feel like Erestor should be to blame for anything. He was so perfect...Damn it, stop these thoughts. You swore to him that you wouldn't try anything tonight, so don't you dare. "What is it now?"

"I talked to Haldir."

"And?" Elrond had long since reached the conclusion that Erestor had lied to him. It was clear to him that Haldir all but worshipped Erestor and that he would never hurt him, no matter what.

"I asked him...I asked him to stay with me here...to bond with me."

That took Elrond by surprise. He had never thought as Erestor as being bonded with anyone. And if he had, in his dreams and fantasies, Erestor had been bonded with him. That was how it should be. "And what did Haldir say?"

"He said he had to think about it. But it's such a terrible thing, Elrond. Lorien is his home and if he says yes, and I think he wants to, he's going to have to leave all that behind. And I'm going to feel so guilty for doing it."

"Do you love him?"

"I don't know. It's been a long time since I've truly loved anyone. I almost forget what it feels like." Erestor smiled morbidly. "I suppose that's a horrible thing to say, but it's true." 

"I know he cares about you, Erestor. You'd be lucky to have him."

"I don't deserve him," said Erestor bitterly, almost too quietly for Elrond to hear.

Elrond got the feeling that he wasn't supposed to have heard that and so didn't press Erestor further. "You'll never guess what I got us for dinner tonight."

Erestor grinned. "Salmon?"

Elrond smiled as well; it had been too long since he had seen that particular expression on Erestor's face. "How did you ever guess?"

"I'm psychic, meleth-nin." (my love).

Elrond was taken aback by that endearment. One did not use it lightly; he had used it himself only with two elves, both of whom he had loved with all his heart. "What...why did you call me that?"

"Am I not allowed to?"

"Erestor, don't use that phrase unless you mean it."

"You know that I love you. You know that I've loved you for a very long time. I should have called you that many centuries ago."

This warmed Elrond's heart, but something in him was telling him to be very cautious. He couldn't understand why Erestor was doing this, why Erestor was toying with him the way he always did, until Elrond got so wrapped up in it that he tried something. Erestor then always pushed him away, and then they would not speak for days. "I'm tired of these games, mellon-nin." (my friend).

"What if I told you they were games no longer?"

"I wouldn't believe you." Elrond paused, considering everything. "And I would know that you were simply doing this for one of two reasons. Either you are trying to make it up to me for sleeping with Glorfindel last night, which I have long since stopped caring about, or you are trying to run from Haldir, which I won't let you do. You've been so happy with him, and I'm not going to let you get cold feet and run away from him. You are too good for me."

"Elrond, both those reasons are wrong," Erestor said calmly.

Elrond almost didn't notice that Erestor actually used his name. "Then what is the reason, Erestor?"

"I've been an idiot all these centuries, Elrond. You were right all along. There would be nothing wrong with the two of us sleeping together..."

"Erestor, whatever is troubling you, you can't run away from it like this. I'm not going to fuck you and make it all better, no matter what it is. I won't let you mess with my head like this. It's not fair to me and it certainly isn't fair to Haldir."

"Do you love me?"

"Of course I do."

"So why won't you take my words as genuine? Why do you insist on doubting them like this?"

"Because I've known you too long. I know you don't love me. I know you care about me. But you don't love me. No...don't interrupt me. I know what I'm talking about. You run to me when you make a mistake, or when you feel bad about something you've done. I wish you'd learn that it's a lot easier on me to just talk to you about whatever it is that's bothering you than to have you put me through this heartache. So please just talk to me." He was surprised to see that Erestor looked hurt by this speech, but Elrond had been burning to say this to Erestor for longer than he had thought.

Erestor nodded. "Do you honestly want to know what exactly is troubling me right now, meleth love?"

Elrond nodded. He knew that he would never get tired of hearing Erestor call him that, even though he knew it wasn't true. "I want to help you. And whatever I can do to help you, I will do. No matter what it costs me to do so, I would do it."

"Do you really love me that much?"

"Yes," answered Elrond without hesitation. "I do love you that much."

"Would you step down as Lord of Imladris and come into the wild with me?"

Elrond frowned. "To do what?"

"To live out our lives in peace. Would you do that for me?"

"Yes." Elrond answered again without any hesitation.

"You really love me that much?"

"Yes." Elrond paused. "But that's not seriously what you want from me, is it?"

"No." Erestor grinned as he saw Elrond's sigh of relief. "But it would be fun to do that sometime. Just to disappear from a month or so."

"I would go anywhere with you."

"Good. Because I have decided something."

"And that would be?"

"Glorfindel will stay here in my place, as...as my choice for Chief Advisor. I'm leaving."

"Wait...what? When? Why?"

"I'm leaving. First, I will go and deal with the situation that brought Glorfindel here in the first place. Glorfindel will be more than adequate to take up my duties. And after that, I have decided that I am going to go to Lorien with Haldir, to bond with him there. He doesn't deserve to have to give that up, and I won't ask that from him."

"No...you can't do that."

"Why?"

"Because you're my Chief Advisor."

"Glorfindel will be at least as good as me..."

"He damn well will not and you know that as well as me."

"I've known him a very long time, Elrond, longer than you've known him. He will be suited to this job better than you suspect."

"Can you please tell me what it is between the two of you? I want to know, it eats away at me that you and Haldir and Glorfindel have this secret."

"You asked Haldir as well?" Erestor grinned; it was the typically sneaky kind of thing that Elrond would do.

"Yes. And he wouldn't tell me either."

Erestor's grin broadened as he saw Elrond's frustration. "Well, for good reason. He doesn't even know the whole story."

"So why won't you tell me? I...love you. And if you're leaving here forever, as you claim, what harm could it do you to tell me?"

"I just...it's the past, Elrond. I don't like reliving the past."

"But this past is affecting you so much that I don't like to see it all bottled up in you..."

"You're just nosy."

Elrond smiled. "That, too."

"Okay, are you sure you really want to know?"

Elrond nodded. "Quite sure."

"We were lovers, a long time ago. We fought, our relationship ended on rather bad terms, we separated, I moved away, and I hadn't seen him in...probably more than a millennia when he came here. We never sorted out our old problems, that's why there was so much conflict between us." That's barely even the truth, but I know he'll buy it and so I won't have to go any further into it.

"And that's the whole story."

"Yep."

"So why was no one willing to tell me it?"

"I don't know. We all just...you had just started sleeping with Glorfindel. It might have affected your relationship..."

"We don't have a 'relationship'."

"Really? I didn't think you were the kind who just went for casual sex."

"No, it's not that, either. But I know Glorfindel doesn't care about me. That's why I have no interest in him staying here any longer than he has to."

"But you were lonely before came...?"

"Yes."

"And you're not lonely now...?"

"No."

"So he has been of some use to you."

"I never denied his usefulness. I just don't think he's the kind of elf I want in my life permanently. I want someone like you." He paused, trying to read the unreadable expression that crossed Erestor's face for just a moment. "I didn't say you, Erestor, I said someone like you. I'm happy for you that you've found Haldir. And I don't think anything would have worked out between us."

Erestor smiled. "You weren't of that opinion a few days ago, meleth."

"You really aren't helping the situation any by calling me that."

"I know. But it amuses me."

"You think it fair to toy with me like that?"

"I do whether I call you that or not."

"I won't stop you leaving, Erestor, if that's what you think you really want. I won't keep you here because I love you. If you think that it's necessary to go to Lorien to be with Haldir, then go. Just visit sometimes. I would like to see you from time to time."

"I know."

"But don't go on this stupid mission. The orcs have been getting wilder. You know that as well as I do. You could easily be killed. And you have so much to live for; you have so many people that love you too much. Let me send Glorfindel, as we planned. Let him be the one that gets killed."

"No, I can't in good conscience do that."

"Why not?"

"Because I still love him too much to send him to his death."

"Tell me the truth. Is he the reason for the injury on your face? And your broken wrist. And that bruise on your face a while ago?"

"No. He has never hit me."

"I don't believe you."

"And I don't want to fight over this again. But I've made my decision. If you don't want to keep him here, I can't force you. I resign my position effective now. I can't tell you what to do anymore. If you don't want him, find someone else. But I am positive that he is the best suited for my job..."

"I won't let you resign."

"I already have, Elrond."

"Tell me why."

"So I can be with Haldir in Lorien."'

"And that is the worst reason I have ever heard from your mouth. Excuse me for saying this, Erestor, but you are not the kind of elf that gives up everything you have for someone else. If I had to guess why you were doing this, I'd guess you were running from something. But I can't imagine what you'd run from instead of standing your ground and fighting."

"I'm not running from anything."

"Yes, you are, bastard," said a voice from the doorway.

Elrond and Erestor looked up to see Glorfindel staring at them. "Don't speak to him like that," said Elrond.

"Don't defend him until you know what he's trying to run from."

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Erestor calmly.

"Don't listen to him, Elrond."

Elrond looked at Glorfindel's face and saw hate. He looked back at Erestor's, expecting to see a calm countenance. To his astonishment, Erestor actually looked surprisingly guilty. "I refuse to let you two fight in here before me without me actually know what you're fighting over."

"We are simply discussing why your Chief Advisor of many centuries, respected by all races, renowned scholar, accomplished warrior, loved by so many, would suddenly find it necessary to abandon all of that."

Elrond nodded briefly. "Okay, then. Let's discuss it."

"I'm leaving to bond with Haldir," said Erestor flatly, in an unconvincing voice.

"Of course you are," said Glorfindel. "Elrond, tell me how many relationships you are aware of Erestor having."

"One with you." Elrond searched his memory, trying to find some other example. None came to mind. "And one with Haldir."

"Do you know how long mine and his lasted?"

"I have no idea."

"Four hundred and eighty-four years," said Erestor dully.

That shocked Elrond. "And you never bonded?"

"No," said Glorfindel. "Erestor refused me every time I asked. So does it seem to make sense that Erestor is so excited to go bond with an elf he has been sleeping with for a week that he will drop his whole life to go do it?"

"No," said Elrond.

"Precisely. So, Erestor, do you want to tell Elrond the reason why you're running away, or do I have to tell him for you."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Glorfindel."

"Quite sure?"

Erestor thought for a few moments, thinking about what Glorfindel was going to say if he refused to say anything to Elrond. "Quite sure, Glorfindel."

Elrond was getting quite annoyed by Erestor's evasiveness. It was quite clear to him now that Glorfindel was right. It was completely out of character for Erestor to be impulsive. Especially for him to be this impulsive, and to throw away literally his entire life just to be with, as Glorfindel had said, an elf he barely knew. A knock came at the door. "Come in," he barked.

Haldir walked in. He looked at the other three occupants, and then said, "I think I should leave..."

"No," said Glorfindel. "You need to hear this as much as Elrond does."

"Need to hear what."

"The real reason why Erestor's going with you to Lorien to bond."

"Wait...what?" Haldir looked overjoyed. "You'd be willing to do that, Erestor?"

Erestor smiled. "Of course I would..."

"Drop the crap, Erestor," said Elrond. "How about we discuss the real reason..."

"Why should he need any more reason than that he loves me?" asked Haldir, a little bewildered.

"Because he doesn't love you," said Glorfindel.

"Yes he does...Erestor...you love me...right?" Haldir sounded a little unsure of himself now.

"No," said Erestor coldly. He had no idea what Glorfindel was about to say, but he knew that it would be nothing good.

Elrond stood up. "Glorfindel, as Erestor is so reluctant to tell us whatever it is he is hiding, why do you please not tell me? I can't sit here listening to the three of you bicker forever."

Glorfindel shot an icy glare at Erestor, and then said, "It's simple. Erestor is running away from Imladris, from everything he knows, from everything he cares about..."

"Stop it and just tell me the reason." Elrond was annoyed now.

"He raped me."


	4. Elven Hearts

Chapter 4  
More Notes: yeah, this one gets kind a violent, there's some torture. Deal with it.  
Even More Notes: In response to a review that I received about OCC (out of character comments), I refer this reviewer (and anyone else that's just curious) to the works of Tolkien such as Lord of the Rings (the book, not the movies), the Silmarillion, and even the Hobbit to some extent, where you can see for yourself what elves really are like in Tolkien's world as opposed to the LOTR-movie elves.

* * *

"What?" asked Elrond, stunned beyond belief.

"Well," said Glorfindel. "Not technically. I will not fade because of it. But…he did not have my consent."

Elrond glanced at Erestor. Erestor did not quite look ashamed. The look on Erestor's face reminded Elrond of how a child would look when they got caught doing something wrong. "Tell me what happened," he commanded.

Glorfindel sat down, running his hands through his hair. "I don't expect you to believe me, Elrond. But it is the truth. Last night, he called me to his rooms. He said he had something he needed to talk to me about. I believed him. So I went to his rooms. He let me in, and we talked for…I don't know, maybe ten minutes. It became clear to me that he had nothing to talk to me about. So I got up to try to leave. Only he wouldn't let me. He's quick, Elrond, and he's strong. He beat me to the door. Then he…he bound me and took me to his bedroom. And then he raped me."

"Did you hit his face?" asked Elrond.

"I tried to defend myself, Elrond." Glorfindel took his shirt off. Elrond could plainly see a multitude of small injuries dotted across Glorfindel's chest. "I had to."

"I walked in and saw you two asleep next to each other," interjected Haldir.

"Have you ever been raped, Haldir? Do you have any idea how exhausting it can be? I was still tied up and I was sore all over. I decided it was best to sleep and get out before he woke up. Which I did do. I don't want to know what would have happened if he'd have woken up first."

Elrond didn't want to believe the story. With all his heart, he didn't want to believe it. He had been in love with Erestor for too long to want to think that Erestor could commit a crime of that magnitude. "Erestor, do you have anything to say for yourself?"

Erestor shook his head. "I will not defend myself, as no defense is possible. I…things happened precisely the way Glorfindel described them. I am not going to say I'm sorry, because I am not."

"Erestor…" said Haldir, a pleading look on his face. "You've got to be joking…"

"Shut up, Haldir. You mean nothing to me."

Elrond looked at Haldir and saw him recoil as if Erestor had struck him. "Glorfindel, do you swear that these events happened as you described?"

"Yes, Elrond…I would also like to say that I…I beg your forgiveness for spending a night with someone else. It was not my intent, and I…"

Elrond smiled a little. "It is not your fault what happened. There is no need even for forgiveness." The smile disappeared. "Erestor, do you swear that these events happened as Glorfindel described?"

"Yes, my lord."

"Elrond, I would like to say something," said Haldir.

"What?" asked Elrond. He doubted that Haldir could be of any use at the moment, but he was here and so Elrond supposed that he at least deserved a say in what happened.

"Erestor didn't do this."

"Offer your proof," said Elrond. Right now, he was swaying extremely towards believing Glorfindel, as much as he didn't want to. There was simply no evidence of Erestor's innocence.

"Think about all that has happened to Erestor since Glorfindel arrived. That bruise on his face a while back, his broken wrist, now this. Would it not be more believable that it was the other way around, that Glorfindel raped Erestor and has been beating him since he arrived?"

"Only that isn't the way it happened," said Erestor calmly. "Haldir, stop trying to defend me. There is nothing that you can say to exonerate me. I did what I did and now that I have been caught, I must stand in judgment. Elrond…I deserve no leniency for my actions and I refuse to throw myself on your mercy."

Elrond wanted to believe that Glorfindel was lying. Elrond wanted to believe that the Erestor he had known for so long was still as good as he had been before this discussion started. But he had been mistaken in his judgments before in his long life, and this was obviously just another one of those times. "For your heinous crime, Erestor, a crime that…in my mind, is among the worst any elf can commit, I see only one possible punishment for you…you are hereby banished from Imladris for the rest of your life. I will send messengers to Lorien and Mirkwood detailing your crimes. I cannot say that I believe they will give you refuge. The Valar have mercy on your soul…you have until sunrise tomorrow to be out of Imladris."

Erestor bowed stiffly, then rose to his feet and walked out of the room. He closed the door quietly behind him. The three elves in the room could hear his quiet footsteps go down the hallway.

Haldir was next to speak. "You are a fool, Elrond. You know as well as I do that Erestor is not capable of committing a crime like that. I am leaving tonight or tomorrow, and you can be sure I will inform Celeborn and Galadriel what kind of justice is offered in Imladris." He slammed the door behind him and Glorfindel and Elrond could hear his noisy footsteps head off in the same direction as Erestor's.

Elrond walked over to Glorfindel. "I am sorry for what happened to you, my friend. There are no words that can describe what you went through, no way that I can understand, but you have all my sympathies…anything I can do for you, I will do. No matter what."

Glorfindel smiled. "Thank you. I think right now I just want to sleep. It has been a long day for me and…I can't wait for it to be over."

"One thing I would like to ask you."

"Mmm?"

"I would like you to take Erestor's position as my Chief Advisor."

"Are you asking me to move permanently here?"

"Yes, I am." Elrond bit his lip, waiting to see what Glorfindel's decision would be. A part of him knew that what he had said to Erestor was true, that Glorfindel wasn't the kind of elf he permanently wanted in his life, but he knew that he needed someone.

Glorfindel smiled a bit more broadly. "I would love to do that. But…what about the problem you called me for."

"It will be dealt with. Don't feel obligated to go deal with it. I want to keep you here safe with me…meleth."

Glorfindel looked at Elrond with surprise. "Meleth? I…I didn't know that you felt that strongly towards me, Elrond."

Elrond was struck with the sickening feeling that Glorfindel did not feel the same way. "I apologize for being so forward…I should not have been."

"Don't kid yourself. I wanted to hear that as much as you wanted to say it. I have wanted…I have tried to drag your attention away from Erestor since I arrived here. And until now, I have felt that I have been in his shadow."

"The Erestor that I knew is not the Erestor he truly is. The Erestor that I loved would have never…done what he did to you. He lost all my love…he lost my respect…he lost my friendship. That is despicable. If it were not for the fact that I condemn kinslaying, he would be dead now."

"You would kill him for me?"

"He won't survive long out of Imladris. He is smart, but if Lorien and Mirkwood similarly banish him, he will have nowhere to run to. I feel no sorrow in knowing that he will soon die."

"I love you, Elrond. I love you so much. I just want you to know that."

"I love you, too."

* * *

Erestor knew he wasn't going to take much with him. The fewer things he brought with him, the faster his horse could go in getting him away from Imladris. He knew that Elrond was deadly serious for him to be out of Imladris by sunrise. Which meant that he would have to leave this room in about ten minutes if he wanted to accomplish it. He shoved a set of clothes into his bag, filling it. He closed the bag and headed for his door. He looked around his room, felt the two daggers at his waist, the bow and quiver over his shoulder, the sword belted to his waist, and knew that this chapter of his life was over.

"This is madness, Erestor."

It was Haldir. He stood at the doorway, blocking Erestor's exit. "Get out of my way, Haldir."

"I love you, Erestor."

"Get out of my way."

"I know you didn't do this."

"I will give you one last chance, Haldir. Please don't make me hurt you. You don't deserve that from me. Let me leave."

"I'm coming with you. Wherever it is you plan to go, I'm coming with you."

"I'm not dragging you into exile."

"No, I'm following you into exile."

"I'm not letting you do that. You don't deserve that…"

"You don't deserve this!"

Erestor pulled the bow off his back and nocked an arrow. "Haldir, don't make me do this. I have no desire to be a kinslayer. Just get out of my way. I…I apologize for wasting your time."

Haldir could tell what kind of mood Erestor was in and thought it wise to do as he was told. He stepped into the room, slightly away from the door. "I think Elrond is wrong and Glorfindel is lying. I don't care whether you believe me or not, but I know you are innocent."

Erestor pushed past Haldir. "Innocent is the last thing that I am," he said as a parting remark.

* * *

Legolas didn't find out about the chaos in Imladris until the noon meal the following day. He had been secluded in his rooms. The strangest thing had happened; he had awoken in his bed with the clear marks of having made love with someone, but no memory whatsoever of having done so. Even at his drunkest moments, he had never been without any recollection. And that terrified him. So he had stayed in his room for a while, trying to remember. Nothing came to mind, so eventually, he left, seeking out food.

Immediately, he noticed that both Haldir and Erestor were gone. He thought that, as they were lovers, they might just be skipping a meal in favor of some more enjoyable activity, but Elrond's stony face told differently. A little hesitantly, Legolas walked over to that end of the table to sit down. "Where is Erestor, Lord Elrond?"

"Banished," Elrond said without a trace of emotion.

Legolas paused, waiting for the punch line. When none came, he asked, "Seriously, my lord."

"Seriously."

Legolas paused, digesting this information. He could see no reason why Erestor had been banished. Legolas knew that the pair had worked together ever since the Last Alliance. To the best of everyone's knowledge, they were the best of friends and, as was sometimes rumored, perhaps lovers. Legolas knew that they were not, but he had clearly seen the friendship between them. "For what crime?"

"Rape."

Legolas was stunned. He couldn't believe Erestor would do such a thing. Erestor could be cold, and was direct to the point of bluntness. He could be annoying and was persistent beyond all belief, but he was not one to abuse another, mentally or physically. Erestor just didn't have the right mentality in Legolas's opinion to be a rapist. "Are you certain, my lord?"

"Please don't pester me about this issue, Prince Legolas. I spent a long night last night discussing it. I am certain that I made the right decision and I am not used to having my judgments questioned."

"I was not questioning your judgment, just trying to discern the facts."

"Very well."

It was obvious to Legolas that Elrond was almost in physical pain from having to do this to his best friend. Legolas knew that Elrond had to be absolutely sure that this was true or he wouldn't have been able to do it. Legolas couldn't help but wonder who Erestor's victim had been. Haldir? No, Legolas was relatively certain that they were in a loving relationship. Elrond himself? Almost certainly not. Elrond was strong; Erestor wouldn't have been able to do anything Elrond hadn't wanted to do. So who? "If I may ask, Lord Elrond, who was Erestor's victim?"

Elrond stared at him steadily, for a moment appearing as if he did not understand the question. "Lord Glorfindel," he finally responded.

"That's absurd!" said Legolas.

"Control yourself, Prince Legolas, or leave the table."

Legolas frowned. None of this made any sense. "And where is Haldir?"

"I have no idea. It is not my duty to be aware of everyone in Imladris's whereabouts."

"Is this going to affect our trade agreement?"

"No. Lord Glorfindel will take Erestor's place as my Chief Advisor. Everything will run as before, only without Erestor's presence."

Legolas finished his meal in silence, and then left the room. He needed a lot of time to think this over. Had Erestor really been able to hide such a dark facet of his personality from everyone? Had Erestor really had that dark of a desire inside him? Legolas didn't want to think so, but he didn't know Erestor as well as Elrond did, and Elrond had obviously come to that conclusion.

* * *

Galadriel could feel Elrond's mental anguish as he Farspoke her. "I have dire news," he said.

"Is someone of your household killed or injured?" she asked, knowing that that was one of the few things that could shake the ever-present calm that seemed to radiate around Elrond.

"No, not as such. I would have spoken to you last night about this, but I was…I was not in control of myself."

"Because you are in control now?"

"Much more than I was."

"Please tell me what is wrong." She felt very kindly towards Elrond. She had known him when he was much younger and had been a sort of mentor to him until he had grown up. "Please tell me how I can help you."

"A terrible crime has been committed in Imladris by one whom I thought I could trust."

"Kinslaying?"

"No, not that bad. An elf has been raped in the Last Homely House."

Galadriel gasped. "That's awful. Is the…will the victim survive?"

"I believe so."

Galadriel was willing to trust Elrond's judgment. He was the best healer she had ever known and if he said the victim would not fade, Galadriel would take his word for it. "Have you caught the criminal?"

"Yes, last night. It was Erestor, my Chief Advisor."

"No!"

"It hurt me to find out the kind of elf he really is, but he did not deny it and his victim clearly pointed him out. I didn't want to believe it, but I could not allow Erestor to remain in Imladris. I banished him."

Galadriel had long ago learned about Elrond's attraction to Erestor and could understand how much Elrond had been hurt by his course of action and why he sounded so out of control. "Permanently?"

"Yes. I cannot have him hurting my people. What I wanted to ask you is whether or not you will close your doors to him as well. I trusted him too long and then he betrayed that trust. I cannot force you to do anything, Galadriel, but I ask that you trust me and understand that Erestor is a dangerous elf, dangerous to himself and dangerous to others. I ask you to close your borders to him before he can hurt anyone else."

Galadriel could tell that Elrond was on the verge of tears and could tell that he had been that way for a long time, probably ever since he had condemned his best friend. "I will have to consult with Celeborn. I do not rule Lorien by myself. I can tell you, though, that it is almost certain that we will close our borders to him as well. We do not need such criminals in our midst."

"Thank you."

"Elrond? Be strong. I know how much you are hurting, but you have a people to rule, and you have those that truly care about you."

"Thank you, Galadriel. I know."

* * *

Glorfindel was stunned that everything had happened exactly the way that he had planned. He hadn't really wanted to get Erestor banished, but finally that elf was out of his way. Not that Glorfindel really minded his presence, but Erestor influenced Elrond too much, and Elrond was head-over-heels with Erestor, no matter what he had said to Glorfindel. Glorfindel hoped now that Elrond would turn his love away from Erestor and towards him.

Another obvious plus to being the victim of such a terrible crime was all the attention showered upon him by Elrond. Elrond had barely left his side since last night, and apologized profusely whenever he had to be elsewhere. It felt good to have someone care that much about him. It had been a long time since he had been shown such affection.

_"Lie down," said Erestor as Glorfindel tried once again to get out of bed. "You're hurt and walking around is only going to make it worse."_

_Glorfindel groaned as he lay back down. "You sound like my mother."_

_"As you're living with me now, I see that as my duty. To be a lover when you need it, and to be a mother when you're acting like a child."_

_"I am not acting like a child."_

_"That's a matter of opinion. Explain to me how games of war are not childish. Because it is precisely one of these games that broke your ankle. You won't be able to fight again for at least a week, more likely two."_

_"Stop it, Erestor. Just come over here and kiss me."_

_"You are so romantic," said Erestor sarcastically as he rose to his feet. "I don't know what I'd do without you."_

_"I love you."_

_"I think I'd love you more if you weren't such an idiot."_

_"Because that makes me feel incredibly loved. I just want you to know that."_

_Erestor gave him a very rewarding kiss. "Does that make it any better?"_

_Glorfindel put on a face of mock-agony. "Oh, my ankle hurts."_

_"Big baby." Erestor smiled enticingly. "Now, I'll tell you what I can do. I can either call in the healers to see if they can do something about that ankle, or I can try my best to make you forget that it hurts."_

_Glorfindel didn't even have to think about his answer._

Glorfindel was a little upset that he had gotten Erestor exiled from nearly everywhere. That hadn't really been his intention. He had just wanted Erestor out of here for a while. He supposed that he could have gone about it differently, but it was Erestor that was known for his subtlety, not Glorfindel of Gondolin. Honestly, could one expect a Balrog-slayer to have much in the way of tact?

The door opened and Elrond walked in again. "How are you feeling, meleth?"

"I'm fine, Elrond. I can't say that I mind all this attention, but you are the Lord of Imladris and I know you have more important duties than attending to me."

"So you'd prefer I didn't?"

"I didn't say that."

Elrond kissed him. "I love you so much." But Elrond knew that that wasn't entirely true, that he was kidding himself. He still loved Erestor, but now he hated that part of himself. He knew that Erestor was a criminal, but his heart didn't seem to want to listen to his rational brain. His heart still raced to think of Erestor, to think of his smile, his beauty, his wit, his intelligence… Elrond shook his head. He knew he had to move on. Erestor had never loved him. Erestor had only ever used him and that was all Elrond had been to Erestor. Glorfindel, on the other hand, was real and caring. That, Elrond knew, was what mattered. Glorfindel could give him the kind of love that he knew he deserved. Erestor just wasn't worthy of him. It was as simple as that. Erestor was a criminal and Elrond was the Lord of Imladris. Two such people would simply never be compatible. Elrond knew, though, that it would take his heart some time to adjust to that.

* * *

A part of Erestor felt alive to be living by himself in the wild. He had lived in the sheltered environs of Imladris for so long that he had almost forgotten what raw nature was like. It felt good and Erestor was glad that he got a chance to experience it. But Erestor was intelligent enough to know that it would grow old after a while. Then life would get harder, as he would have no home to return to.

He knew he wasn't going to head for Lorien or Mirkwood. Erestor knew that Elrond would make sure he wouldn't be welcome there. There were a few scattered elven towns elsewhere, Erestor knew, but they were wary of strangers, and Erestor did not want to go somewhere only to be an outcast. He could fend for himself, he knew that, and that was what mattered to him. He would find a stretch of land and settle down on it. He knew how to farm, or at least, he knew the rudiments of farming. After a while, Erestor knew that he would probably be able to sustain himself and could travel to the small elven towns to trade for supplies he could not grow himself.

But there was an important task that he knew had to be completed before he could settle down to his peaceful life. And that was the matter of the orcs on Imladris's border. Erestor had made sure to steer well clear of the place on his exit, but knew that he would now have to do something about it. It was the very least that he owed Elrond.

It took him the better part of two days to build a small shack for himself at the edge of a small grove of trees. Manual labor was nothing new to Erestor, but it had been millennia since he had last had to perform it extensively. He had thought himself fit, but by the time he collapsed down to sleep the second night, he hurt in places he hadn't even known existed. But it was good work. It was good, simple, clean, healthy work. Erestor knew he could get used to a life of solitude. But not yet. As much as he wanted to leave Imladris and all her problems behind, he couldn't do it. It just wouldn't be right.

So on the third day, he woke up at dawn, left all his unnecessary belongings in his shack, shouldered his bow and quiver, strapped on his sword, and put his daggers in their usual hiding places. Then he set out to do what he knew he had to do, however much he didn't want to do it.


	5. Elven Hearts

Chapter 5  
More Notes: yeah, this one gets kind a violent, there's some torture. Deal with it

* * *

Haldir had never before in his life felt this useless or this helpless. He knew that Erestor was not guilty of rape. He knew that Erestor had been abused by Glorfindel and found it far more likely that Glorfindel just wanted Erestor out of the way. Glorfindel knew that Erestor would not contradict him and would admit to whatever crime Glorfindel accused him of. Haldir was disgusted by Glorfindel's actions. He was almost as upset with Elrond for not seeing through the gaping holes in Glorfindel's story. But that was almost forgivable. Elrond loved Glorfindel and wanted to believe him.

Still, as he had promised, he couldn't stand to stay in Imladris any longer. He wanted more than anything to chase after Erestor, but he knew Erestor well enough to know that he would want to be alone. Haldir just hoped that Erestor wouldn't do anything dumb, like kill himself. Haldir hoped that someday he would meet Erestor again, after this incident was long forgotten and they could renew their relationship.

Legolas caught up to him as he was readying to leave and asked him, "Do you think that Erestor did it?"

"I know he didn't."

"So why are you allowing this to happen?"

"I am not of Imladris, Prince Legolas. I cannot interfere with Elrond's judgments. And Erestor did not deny his crime."

"You were there?"

"Yes. But I know that Erestor did not do it. Erestor is not capable of that. Of slaughter, of killing in battle, yes, he is capable of that, but not abusing someone. It just isn't part of him."

"Are you going to try to find him?"

"Erestor could hide from me for millennia. I hate to say it, but no, I am not going to chase after him. If it is truly meant for the two of us to be together, the Valar will show one of us the way."

"I wish you luck, Haldir."

"Thank you, Prince Legolas. Are you leaving as well?"

"No, we still have not yet arrived at a trade agreement. I thought that Erestor was going to be essential to a decent negotiation, so I don't know how much longer I'm going to have to stay here. I have no idea how competent Lord Glorfindel is, but I doubt that he will be able to match Erestor."

"Not very many elves were able to match Erestor," said Haldir sadly.

"That is, without a doubt, true," said Legolas. "Farewell. I hope we meet soon."

"Farewell, Prince Legolas." Haldir easily got on his horse and kicked it lightly to start it moving. He did not look back as he left. He wanted nothing more than to forget the past couple of weeks spent here. They were too painful for him to remember. He did not know how long it would be before he would be able to look back on these events objectively, but he felt that it would be a long time.

* * *

It was quite clear to Elrond that Glorfindel, while he was quite good at what he had been told to do, was not Erestor. Erestor would willingly sacrifice his time to get Elrond's work done. He would spend long nights alone finishing some vital report or seeing that urgent tasks actually got completed. Glorfindel was not nearly that dedicated. He would work from just after the morning meal until the evening meal and then he considered his day done. Elrond saw that things were soon going to get behind and he would need to get more help, but he didn't want to do that. He wanted to believe that his lover could do what Erestor could do without any difficulty. But it was clear that Glorfindel didn't want to become like Erestor.

And the negotiations with Legolas couldn't have been going worse. Erestor was usually the only one that could remain cool-headed during tough negotiations, and Glorfindel couldn't. Elrond could see that Legolas was losing patience with Glorfindel's heavy-handed attempts at diplomacy. The last thing that Elrond wanted was for Legolas to leave holding a grudge. Elrond didn't need Mirkwood at odds with him. There were enough problems within Imladris and outside her borders for Elrond to be able to deal with another threat.

"Is something wrong, Elrond?" asked Glorfindel at the end of yet another long day.

It was, Elrond realized, only two days since he had banished Erestor. Somehow, it seemed so much longer than that. "I don't see how Imladris is going to keep running without Erestor. I had not realized how essential he was."

"Erestor was not essential. You were just used to his way of doing things. And that way of doing things is just different from my way of doing things. In time, I'm sure you'll adjust."

"I hope I will."

"Elrond, you doubt yourself too much. You are brilliant at everything; you could run this place single-handedly if you really had to."

Elrond smiled at the compliment, but knew that it wasn't true. Erestor and he had made an excellent team. They had thought enough alike to do things the same way, but differently enough to always be able to solve a problem, no matter how difficult. Elrond just got the feeling that Glorfindel, while quite bright, was not even close to his or Erestor's intellectual equal. Very few very smart elves were warriors, himself and Erestor excluded. Smart elves saw the futility in war and tried to avoid it. Besides, he and Erestor had only fought when all was in danger of being lost. They were good at things other than war. Glorfindel was only a warrior. He knew a bit of lore, and knew something of healing, but it just wasn't the same.

Elrond missed Erestor more than he thought was possible. Erestor had sometimes disappeared off for months at a time to go deal with difficult negotiations elsewhere. But then, Elrond had been consoled by the thought that Erestor was coming back. Now Elrond knew for a fact that he was not. Erestor was lost to him forever.

* * *

The messenger that entered Thranduil's hall was disheveled and tired. Thranduil immediately knew something was wrong. The messenger was dressed in Imladris colors, and, not for the first time, Thranduil wished he possessed the power to farspeak. He wondered if something terrible had befallen Legolas. He sincerely hoped not. Legolas was easily his favorite son; though that was not something he would mention to his two other sons.

"What is it?" he asked the messenger.

"Sire," said the messenger, bowing down low.

"Just give me the message," said Thranduil impatiently. Ceremony was important to him, but not so much when dealing with a possible disaster. The messenger took out a rolled scroll and handed it to Thranduil.

"I was told to bring this as fast as I could, sire."

Thranduil unrolled it and read it. _Thranduil, an atrocity has been committed at the Last Homely House. A guest invited by myself was raped by my Chief Advisor, Erestor. To assuage your fears, the guest was not Prince Legolas. Nor do I believe that your son is in danger any longer. I have banished Erestor from Imladris. Celeborn and Galadriel have closed their borders to him as well. I ask you, for the safety of your own people that you do the same to Mirkwood. Though we have long been enemies, we are in a new age now and cannot afford to be so divided. Respectfully, Elrond._

Thranduil considered the message. He had met Erestor not all that long ago and Erestor had seemed like a careful, reasoned elf to him, not the kind that would do something like this. The morbidly curious part of him couldn't help but wonder who Erestor's victim had been. Thranduil looked up at the messenger, who was clearly waiting for a reply. "Tell Lord Elrond that I will do exactly as he recommends." He rose to his feet and began to pace the hall after the messenger had left. These were troubled times if the elves one thought one could most count on turned out to be the ones that, in fact, were the most devious and evil.

* * *

Erestor had found the orc base. It was a filthy place. Erestor had been scouting it for some hours now, looking for the best place to get in. He knew he had to find the leader of the group and kill him. Then the others would be easier to dispatch. One thing was clear to him. This was a well-organized group. They had come to present a serious threat to Imladris. That made it more essential than ever for Erestor to destroy them. He couldn't let anyone threaten Elrond.

Erestor estimated there to be between a hundred and two hundred orc. That was an annoyingly large number, especially for one elf to deal with. But he knew that orcish organization hinged on one commander. Everyone else just followed that commander blindly and once he was dead, everything fell apart. Erestor had always been shocked by the fact that no one had had the brains to change it so that it would take more than one assassination to destroy an orcish army sometimes.

Near the end of the day, he captured one of the orcs, knocked it out, and dragged it back to his shack. Once there, he tied it firmly up, gagged it, and went to sleep. In the morning, he was awoken by its howls. Erestor went outside, to where he had tied it. "Good morning," he said in orcish. No one knew that he was nearly fluent (or as fluent as one could be in a language that consisted mostly of grunts) in orcish, not even Elrond.

"Scum," said the orc.

"Talk to me or you will die very painfully," said Erestor calmly.

"I will say nothing."

"How many orcs are in this company?"

The orc did not answer.

Erestor walked closer. He took out his dagger and quickly, efficiently, removed one of the orc's eyes. The orc howled in pain. "How many orcs in the company?" asked Erestor quietly.

"A hundred twenty," said the orc.

"Good. We're getting somewhere. What is your mission?"

The orc chose not to answer.

Erestor sighed. "Perhaps you are just a slow learner." Erestor relieved him of the other eye. "Now tell me what your mission is."

"Destroy Imladris." The orc could barely speak for all the pain he was in.

"Good. Now, you still have just the one commander?"

"Yes."

"Wonderful." Erestor slit the orc's throat and then walked to the nearest stream to wash the orc blood off of him. Tomorrow, he would have to repeat the task, but right now, he just wanted to be clean. There would be plenty of time to get dirty tomorrow.

The rest of the day, Erestor went about, clearing land for a small farm. He knew he wouldn't have to grow much, as he didn't need all that much food to survive, and he could supplement his food with that of the fruits and mushrooms of the grove of trees next to him. Before he left Imladris, he had stolen a modest amount of vegetable seeds and grains. Hopefully, enough of them would grow and he would survive. Otherwise, he would have to find some way to steal more. Being a thief was nothing new to him, but it seemed a shame to have to slip back to the way he had been shortly after he and Glorfindel had ended their relationship.

_Erestor had been disgraced. Or rather, he had disgraced himself. But that didn't matter. All Erestor knew was that he had no place to live anymore and that he was going to have to adjust his life to fit the way his life was going to have to be. He wasn't surprised at Glorfindel's actions; Erestor knew he would have done the same thing was the situation reversed. But thinking about that, Erestor knew, wouldn't make his life any easier to live._

_The first night, he slept in a dark alley. He had been terrified, but he survived the night. And that was what counted. The first time he stole was for breakfast. Then he stole lunch, and dinner. It was shortly after dinner that he robbed a passerby. That gave him enough money to be able to rent a small room for a week. It was not great, but Erestor knew it was a start._

_He was so terrified that his whole life was going to be a failure now. He knew he had come so close to having a bright career as a scholar. But that stupid decision of his had wrecked everything. Now nothing would be the same, that he knew for sure._

_It had all started a week ago, when Glorfindel had started making the announcements that they were to be bonded. Erestor loved Glorfindel and had come to feel the same way that Glorfindel did. They had been together for more than eighty years and it was time to make that commitment real._

_But that had also been when they had started to fight. Erestor got cold feet. "Can't we postpone this?" he asked Glorfindel, sure that Glorfindel would understand._

_"Do you not love me anymore?"_

_"Of course I love you. That's not what I'm suggesting. I'm…I just don't know what everyone's going to think…"_

_"Erestor, don't be ridiculous. Everyone who counts already knows we're together. I love you and you love me. We can be happy together forever. Don't tell me that you don't want that."_

_"No, I do want that. I'm just…I guess I'm just a little nervous."_

_Glorfindel walked over and kissed him. "Don't be. I love you. We will make this work."_

_It was not so much the problem that Erestor didn't love Glorfindel; he did. It was that Erestor knew already that he wasn't the settling-down type. He wanted to experience life fully; he didn't want to be tied to one elf. "I love you, too…I just…please, can we postpone this…"_

_"Erestor, we have been postponing this for years! I cannot stand to have you any longer, to know that you are mine, but also, in some strange way, to know that you are not mine. I want to make you mine forever."_

_"You never asked if that was what I wanted," said Erestor quietly._

_"You don't want to be with me, to love me forever?"_

_"Of course I do." But Erestor knew that he did not._

_"Then let's not fight about this. Okay?"_

_Erestor nodded. "You're right."_

_"I'm always right," said Glorfindel smugly, claiming another kiss. "And after tonight, you will be mine forever. And this is going to be the happiest night of my life."_

_"Mine, too." But Erestor meant that even less._

_And so that was why Erestor stood Glorfindel up._

_Glorfindel sought him out the next morning, a furious look on his face. "What was that? Why weren't you there last night?"_

_Erestor answered calmly, "I don't love you."_

_"I am disgraced now in front of everyone, you lowly little scribe. I can't understand what I ever saw in you. I want you out of my sight. I never want to see you again."_

_"This is my home as well as yours," said Erestor calmly._

_Glorfindel pulled out his sword. "Get out. I will inform everyone that you are not to be allowed back in. Your life is over now, Erestor. Do us all a favor and go die somewhere. Just somewhere out of my sight."_

_And so Erestor left._

* * *

Legolas wanted to pound the table in frustration, but he knew he couldn't be that visibly annoyed. So he forced a smile and said, for the millionth time, "Those agreements won't be suitable, Lord Glorfindel."

"By the Valar, why not?" demanded Glorfindel. This, he knew, was definitely not his forte. He hated the delicate game of diplomacy. He much preferred war to this. Battle, at least, was over and done with and no one had to play these ridiculous mind games that Legolas, Elrond, and apparently (he had been told) Erestor liked to play.

"This gives a definite advantage to Imladris. My father would kill me if I returned home with an agreement like this."

I may kill you if you don't. "Well, Prince Legolas, what do you propose in response?"

"I have already made my demands clear. And I am not going to change my request."

Glorfindel folded his arms and sat back in his chair. "Neither am I."

"Where are the terms that Erestor drew up?"

"These are them."

"No, they aren't. I've negotiated with Erestor before. He's not nearly as heavy-handed as that document is. I'd say that you did it yourself. And I would also say that you consulted no information whatsoever before drawing your conclusion and writing that. I don't think that Mirkwood's yearly grain surplus has ever even been even half of what you propose we should deliver every six months. Erestor would not overlook something like that."

"Erestor is not here, Prince Legolas. So you must deal with my demands."

"Then a trade agreement will not be possible between Mirkwood and Imladris." Legolas rose to his feet and walked to the door. As he pulled it open, he turned and said, "Trust me, this was a mistake."

After pacing the halls for a while, Legolas went to see Elrond. Elrond, at least, was typically reasonable. Elrond seemed surprised to see him. "Glorfindel told me you were leaving," he said.

"Excuse me for saying this, my lord, but Glorfindel is an idiot and no diplomat. Without Erestor, I don't think we will be able to reach a trade agreement."

"We have to."

"I am of the same opinion. Can I not conduct negotiations with you? Before, it was not necessary, but now I am tired of dealing with Glorfindel…Elrond, have you ever admired someone so deeply that you would do anything they wanted…only then you get to know them, and suddenly you want nothing to do with them?"

"Yes, I have, Prince Legolas." Erestor.

"Well, that's how I feel about Glorfindel right now. I always thought of him as my hero…but now I just can't look at him the same way."

"I don't fault you for that, Legolas. We all make bad judgments from time to time."

"Those are truly spoken words, Lord Elrond. So, do you think if we work together, not as diplomats, but as…friends, that we can reach a trade agreement that both of us will be able to deal with?"

"I believe that could be possible." But if Erestor was here, it wouldn't be necessary. Elrond couldn't believe how little time Erestor had been gone and already Imladris seemed just about ready to fall apart.

* * *

Haldir had finally reached Lorien. He reported back to Celeborn, who could immediately tell something was wrong. Celeborn had known Haldir as a baby and had been a father to Haldir. "Tell me what's wrong, Haldir."

"I hate Imladris. I hate Lord Elrond."

"Hate is a very strong word, Haldir, especially in reference to things such as that."

"Lord Elrond is an idiot…"

"That he is not, Haldir."

"He made a really bad judgment."

"That does not make him an idiot."

"I know," said Haldir. "Just give me some really hard work to do so I can get everything on my mind to go away."

"Forgetting things isn't going to help anyone."

"It's all so complicated," said Haldir. He wanted to just go curl up next to Celeborn and cry, but he was no longer an Elfling and it was no longer appropriate to do that. So he stood in front of Celeborn. "And I didn't mean to get tangled up in it…"

"Does this have anything to do with Erestor?" Celeborn couldn't believe that the Erestor he knew would do something as terrible as rape.

"Yes."

"Were you friends with Erestor?"

Haldir shook his head sorrowfully. "No, we were…we were lovers and that's how I know he didn't do it I know that Glorfindel's lying and I wish there was something I could do about it but Erestor lets Glorfindel do whatever he wants and now Erestor's gone forever and I was really starting to care about him he's so lonely Celeborn and he was finally starting to open up to me when this happened and now he's going to be so messed up and that's if he doesn't die…"

"Calm down." Celeborn had never seen the reserved Galadhrim act so excitedly. Hearing those words from Haldir also sparked a little jealousy in him. He was perfectly happy with Galadriel (and his chief advisor), but that couldn't stop him from harboring the occasional thought about Haldir, whom he found incredibly attractive. "There's nothing you can do…you're from Lorien, you can't interfere with Elrond's judgments…"

"That doesn't mean I can't think they're wrong…"

"Correct, but you can't let this destroy you."

"But I want so badly to be able to do something."

Celeborn took both of Haldir's hands in his own. "I know that feeling, Haldir. But sometimes there isn't anything that you can do and you just have to stand by and let things run their course."

"I didn't know I could hurt this badly, Celeborn. No arrow I've ever taken hurt me this much."

"It's called heartache," said Celeborn, drawing the much younger elf into a warm embrace, banishing all the thoughts that popped up into his mind. Haldir was upset right now, and Celeborn had no right to take advantage of that.

* * *

Glorfindel had decided that he wanted Legolas again. He remembered fondly the fight that Legolas had put up and decided that he was in the mood for that again. Only now he was plainly aware that Legolas did not worship him anymore and so there would be no easy seduction. And this time, he almost got caught stealing the forgetfulness potion from Elrond's workshop. But all went well and soon Glorfindel was knocking on Legolas's door.

Legolas opened the door and sighed. "What do you want, Lord Glorfindel?"

"To apologize for being so stubborn today." He smiled. "I thought that maybe we could have a drink together…?"

"No, Glorfindel, I don't think that would be appropriate."

"Why not?"

"Because I vaguely remember what happened last time I chose to drink with you. And I don't think I want a repeat performance. You need to keep in mind that you have a devoted lover and you should stay faithful to Elrond."

"What makes you think I am suggesting anything…?"

"I know you slept with Erestor…I suspect that you have slept with others…I know you are unfaithful…you are not capable of being faithful…"

Glorfindel lost his temper and smashed his fist into Legolas's chest. Legolas went down heavily, gasping for breath. His face was contorted in agony, which led Glorfindel to think that he had perhaps broken a rib or two. He leaned down close to Legolas and said, "Tell someone. I dare you." He took out a dagger and put it at the prince's throat. "I'd like to see what happens to you next."


	6. Elven Hearts

Chapter 6  
More Notes: yeah, this one gets kind a violent, there's some torture. Deal with it

* * *

"What happened to you, Legolas?" asked Elrond, hurrying over to support Legolas, who was clearly in danger of falling.

"I was out riding," lied Legolas. "And I fell. The horse stepped on me…Gods it hurts, Elrond."

Elrond made a quick diagnosis. "I think you've got at least two broken ribs. You should be more careful, Legolas. Your father would not be pleased with me if I have to inform him that he died in Imladris because I was too careless to watch for his safety."

"What, are you my keeper now?"

"I'm older than you are."

"So is Glorfindel."

"Do you really want him shadowing your every step?"

"No," said Legolas emphatically. He couldn't believe he had lied to Elrond about his injury, but something about Glorfindel had been so threatening that Legolas couldn't work up the courage to tell the truth. _Now I know exactly how Erestor felt._

* * *

Erestor crept through the early morning shadows. He was dressed in all black, a shadow hidden within the shadows. He was well-armed and knew he was ready for anything. He doubted that this would take long, but it was something that he really needed to get done, both for his own sanity and for the safety of Imladris.

He was well within the compound when dawn began to break. He stayed within the shadows (of which there were many), and moved ever closer to the center of the camp, where he felt the commander of this group would surely be. The security of the camp was quite lax, and he only had to dispose of four or five sentries before he made his way to the main building.

He had only just walked into the building when he heard voices behind. Mumbling a curse under his breath and then a hasty prayer to the Valar to protect him, he took out his two daggers; they were better for fighting up close and in a cramped area. He kept moving towards the center, hoping beyond all odds to find the commander before the orcs found him.

He opened a random door and saw an orc sleeping. There were a lot of what Erestor believed the orcs thought were trophy objects, and so assumed that this was the commander. He walked up to the still-sleeping orc and sliced the orc's throat open with one of his daggers. He wiped the bloody dagger on the orc's filthy clothes and then began to try to figure a way out. This was enough work for one day; he needed time for the orcs to realize that their leader was dead. Then panic would set in, and Erestor could take advantage of the chaos.

Then a foot darted out in front of him and he tripped. He landed hard; the wind was momentarily knocked out of him. He cursed his stupidity and his hurry that had made him a lot less cautious than what he should have been.

"You have killed our commander, scum," said the orc that had tripped him. The orc gave Erestor a foul smile. "You will have to answer for that."

Erestor tried to get back to his feet, and had gotten halfway, had his daggers out again, but they were knocked out of his hands and a heavy foot was pressed onto his chest. Another orc approached; he was carrying heavy metal chains. The orcs chained him and then pulled him to his feet. Erestor half-walked, was half-dragged through the hallways. Jeers surrounded him on all sides. Erestor knew what his treatment was going to be like and he didn't want to think about it. _I'm sorry, Elrond. I failed you._

* * *

Haldir was roaming the hallways when Celeborn found him. Haldir looked so miserable that Celeborn wanted nothing more than to take him to some secluded spot and do whatever he could to cheer Haldir up. But as much as Celeborn wanted that, he was old enough and had enough experience to know that it was best not to push such matters. If Haldir came to him looking for comfort, Celeborn would give it, and give it gladly. But he would not force it upon Haldir.

"What is it?" asked Haldir. He had been swathed in misery ever since he had returned here to Lorien. The thought that Erestor was out there somewhere, suffering perhaps, was more than Haldir could take.

"I just got a message from Lord Elrond. He is assembling a force to destroy an orc encampment on the edge of his border. He has asked for a contingent from Lorien. I was wondering if you would like to command that force."

"I need something to do, Celeborn. I would rather not have to work directly with Lord Elrond, as I don't think I could talk to him. But if it's just fighting…it will help me to get my mind off of things."

"Be careful, Haldir." Celeborn stepped closer, and put a hand delicately on Haldir's shoulder.

Haldir moved forward and embraced Celeborn. Celeborn had always been there for him and he was glad that Celeborn still was. But there was something that Haldir had noticed recently; that the look in Celeborn's eyes had changed from one of friendship to something that Haldir would have termed lust. But Haldir didn't want to think about Celeborn wanting him; that was too complicated for him.

"Celeborn?"

"Mmm?"

"Do you want me?" Haldir felt that he needed to know this; it wouldn't change the friendship between him, but it would affect the way Haldir acted around Celeborn. "And please tell me the truth."

"Then…yes, I do." Celeborn was all but certain that Haldir did not feel the same way about him. In a way, that saddened him, but he could deal with it. "But I don't expect you to feel the same about me."

In that instant, Haldir saw Celeborn, not as his Lord or a trusted friend, but as the attractive elf that he was. His heart began to beat a little faster. What about Erestor asked his brain of his traitorous heart. Does he mean nothing to you? Haldir looked up at Celeborn, unsure of what to do.

Celeborn could see the conflicting emotions in the younger elf's face. He released Haldir from the embrace. "As I said, I don't expect you to feel the same. But if you do…if you ever do…I would love to get to know you on a more personal level." He smiled. "But the contingent to Imladris leaves tomorrow morning."

Haldir smiled. "I will think about it, Celeborn." And he knew that he would, and he hated himself for feeling like that. He turned away from Celeborn and walked down the hall purposefully, to his room. He would have to get ready to leave. Suddenly, he was no longer as drained as he had been. There was work for him to do, and there was an elf that cared about him to come back to when he was finished.

Celeborn watched Haldir walk away, and could immediately detect the change in Haldir. He smiled to himself. Maybe, at last, he would get what he had hoped so desperately for. He shook his head and continued to walk. He had to go meet his chief advisor. Ostensibly, they were to be discussing some reports of orc activity, but Celeborn had gotten the feeling that that was explicitly not going to be what happened.

* * *

Erestor muffled his cries as they pulled his last fingernail. His hands were now a bloody mess. They had already beaten him, but this pain was far more exquisite. He wasn't sure yet what they wanted out of him, but whatever it was, he had no intentions of telling them. So he suffered as silently as he could, though the occasional whimper did manage to find it's way out.

"Elf, tell me your name," said one of the orcs.

Erestor grit his teeth and remained silent. He wasn't going to say anything. His life meant nothing anymore; he had nothing to live for. It didn't matter if they killed him now.

"You know, there's a lot more we can do to you, elf."

Erestor remained silent. He was well aware of the methods of torture that orcs could use. He was all but certain that they could come up with quite imaginative ways to make him hurt. But that didn't mean that he was going to talk.

"Tell us now, elf, or we will make your life worse than you could possible imagine it."

Erestor suppressed a smile. A month ago, he would have agreed. But now his life had become so unlivable that any physical pain they put him through would not come even close to equaling the emotional and psychological pain that he had been through since Glorfindel arrived.

"Bring it in!" called the orc.

An orc walked in, carrying a steaming basin and some rope. Erestor eyed it with morbid curiosity. Very carefully, the orc set it down. Using metal tongs, he pulled out what Erestor immediately saw were hot coals. Mentally, he winced. He felt that he knew what was coming and tried to mentally brace himself.

But the preparation was not enough. When the hot coals were tied firmly onto his hands, Erestor lost control. When the orc asked him who he worked for, the first thing that came out of his mouth was, "Elrond…Imladris."

* * *

A message had arrived in the night for Elrond. Elrond was pulled out of his warm bed to go read it and was not all that happy about it. He treasured his good nights of sleep because they were so rare. He sat down in his study and snatched up the message. _We have one of your spies the message read he will not reveal his name but he has told us that he works for you. We will return him to you if you give us his body's weight in jewels and mithril._

Elrond was perceptive enough to know that this was from the orcs on his border. But who have they captured? I have sent none up there. And then a name popped into his head: Erestor. That fool. He went there by himself and now he's gotten caught. And now he wants me to do something about it. He can keep dreaming. What the orcs wanted was extortionate, and Elrond had no intention of paying the ransom, especially if it was Erestor. Erestor deserved no favors from him.

Glorfindel walked into the study. "Why did you get up?" he asked sleepily.

"They have Erestor," said Elrond.

Glorfindel appeared a little more alert. "Who has Erestor?"

"The orcs."

Glorfindel knew that he couldn't appear too alarmed. He didn't want to give that much away to Elrond. "And what do they want from you?"

"His weight in jewels and mithril."

Glorfindel raised an eyebrow. "And do you plan to give it to them?"

"Absolutely not. I don't give in to ransom demands like that. And why should I care about Erestor? After what he did to you…I owe him nothing."

"What do you think he will tell them?"

A lot realized Elrond. Erestor had been his Chief Advisor for more than a millennia, he knew so much about Imladris and its workings. And now he would feel no need to be loyal to it, as Elrond had kicked him out for good. Erestor could easily destroy us. "He could tell them everything," admitted Elrond. "But there's nothing I can do about it."

"You could send someone in to kill him," said Glorfindel.

"I am no kinslayer," said Elrond firmly.

"Well…there are other ways of silencing someone besides killing them," mused Glorfindel thoughtfully.

"You sound like you want me to send you out there. What do you want, revenge?"

No, nothing of the sort. "I do want you to send me out. I know how to do what needs to be doing, and Erestor trained me. What more do you want?"

The knowledge that you are not dead nor held captive. "Meleth, please reconsider. You know how dangerous this could be and I don't want to lose you."

Glorfindel smiled. "I have to do this, Elrond. You know that. The groups from Lorien and Mirkwood will be arriving in a few hours. It's important that I get out of here before they come. So let me go now. I promise you that I will return."

Elrond didn't want to agree. He felt that he would be sending Glorfindel to his death. And he had grown to care about Glorfindel; not as much as he once had cared about Erestor, but still enough to not want him to die needlessly. But he could see the sense in Glorfindel's arguments. "Very well, then. Go. But don't you dare get killed, Glorfindel."

* * *

Haldir was heartsick to arrive at this place again. He wanted nothing more than it to be like it had always been, with Erestor here and Glorfindel gone. Haldir didn't think that that was too much to ask. He didn't even really care if Erestor loved him or not. In some way, that was immaterial. What mattered to him the most was that Erestor be here, be safe, because Haldir loved him and wanted more than anything for Erestor to be happy, even if it was not with him.

Elrond came out to meet the group and seemed slightly surprised to see Haldir there. "You will be staying the night here and will leave at dawn tomorrow," Elrond said. "You will be part of a group of about a hundred and fifty elves, fifty from Imladris, the fifty of your group, and fifty from Mirkwood. Haldir, could I speak with you privately for a moment."

Haldir followed Elrond off. "What is it, Lord Elrond?"

"Why are you back here?"

"Because Celeborn asked me to come."

"Don't think that you are going to be causing trouble here…"

"Don't worry, Elrond, I wasn't planning to. I want to spend as little time here as possible. The Gods only know what crime you would plan for me to have committed before long…"

"Erestor raped Glorfindel! It was not a crime I planned; it was not one I would have even believed Erestor capable of committing. Just because he was your lover for a week does not mean that you knew the inner workings of his mind…"

"But you did. You knew how he thought, you knew that he would never hurt someone like that. It is Glorfindel you blindly trusted, and it is Glorfindel that you know nothing about. And here is something that differs: I know about Glorfindel, I know about his past and I know what he is capable of. He wanted Erestor out of the way, so he planned to make up a heinous crime for Erestor to have committed!"

"Keep your mouth closed while in Imladris, Haldir," said Elrond in an icy tone. "Or I fear that some accident may befall you." Elrond paused for a moment. "And now leave me alone, get your elves settled in, and do not seek me out again." Elrond turned and walked away.

Haldir scowled at Elrond's retreating figure. "I swear that you will answer for your crime someday, Elrond of Imladris," he murmured. "You will pay for the terrible thing you did to Erestor."

* * *

Legolas understood that there had to be a certain amount of chaos, as there was a lot happening at Imladris, but that didn't mean the whole world had to end, as it appeared to be doing. All of Imladris was in chaos. There were delegations from both Mirkwood and Lorien, and along with an Imladris contingent, were going to deal with some problem with the orcs. Legolas had been trying to meet with Elrond today. It was important that they get this whole trade deal out of the way. He had been here longer than he had planned to. And this place now had some rather unpleasant memories associated with it. Even his father wanted him home; his father had sent him a message a couple of days ago. Legolas missed Mirkwood and was rather sick of Imladris.

"Can we talk later?" asked Elrond, when Legolas tried to talk to him.

"No," said Legolas. "My father wants me to leave here today or tomorrow." That was a stretching of the truth, but that didn't matter.

Elrond sighed. "Have we not discussed the issue to death already?"

"Please, Lord Elrond, we need to go sit down and iron this out firmly. Do we really want to have to do this all over again simply because we overlooked some minor detail this time around?"

Elrond's logical brain kicked in. Whatever he might be thinking right now, it was important to concentrate on the things that would affect his future. Though having either Glorfindel or Erestor killed would definitely affect my future. "Okay, Legolas. Let's talk." He led Legolas to another room, where they could talk in private.

Legolas could tell something was bothering Elrond, and was fighting his curious impulse to ask Elrond what was wrong. Finally, it came out, "Is something wrong, Lord Elrond?"

"No," snapped Elrond.

"That simple word states its own falsity," said Legolas with a small smile. "Does it have to do with Glorfindel leaving?" He had not found out Glorfindel's mission, as it was apparently one of the utmost secrecy.

"No," said Elrond. If it had been Erestor grilling him for the truth, he knew that it was much more likely for him to break down and confess. But this was Legolas; he barely knew the elf, so felt no compulsion to break down the same way. Erestor isn't here Elrond reminded himself. And if Glorfindel gets his job done right, Erestor will never be the same afterwards. I don't think Glorfindel will kill him, but if he cuts out Erestor's tongue, or something similar, Erestor will never be the same elf that he was before I exiled him. "But I thought that we were supposed to be discussing our trade agreement."

"If there is something in particular bothering you, it could affect your judgment. Maybe we should talk about it so that it doesn't affect your negotiating." Legolas gave Elrond a cocky, knowing smile.

"I'm fine," said Elrond through clenched teeth. "Let's just get on with it."

* * *

Erestor knew that he was close to death. He had long since stopped trying to remember what he screamed out in his moments of agony. That didn't matter anymore. He lay soaked in his own blood on the floor. Hazy memories passed through his mind. For some reason, they all seemed to focus on Haldir. One in particular, continued to appear.

_Erestor was huddled in a dark corner of the encampment. It was about a week after he had seen Lord Elrond for the first time. Since then, Elrond had been using him for meaningless, insignificant tasks, and that just made Erestor feel even worse. Elrond had never asked his name, never even really looked at him. And that somehow hurt even more than Elrond's thoughtless remark when Erestor had first seen him._

_Suddenly, a figure appeared above Erestor. "What are you doing out here?" asked the voice, not unkindly. "It's starting to rain."_

_"I have nowhere to go," mumbled Erestor, wishing the other would just go away._

_But he persisted. "What do you mean?"_

_"Just leave me alone," said Erestor, not wishing to be rude, but only wanting to be alone._

_The elf crouched down in front of him. He frowned, a glimmer of recognition in his eyes. "Have we met before? I am Haldir of Lorien." When the elf did not reply, Haldir smiled and said, "It is customary to give one's own name."_

_"Erestor."_

_"Of?"_

_"Nowhere."_

_Haldir smiled a little more. "I see, Erestor of nowhere. It is getting cold tonight and will soon rain. If you have nowhere to go, then I am sure that you will be welcome in my tent to have something to eat and drink if you would like." He could see that this elf was barely more than an Elfling, small and underfed. Haldir was struck by a sudden urge to take care of the elf._

_"If you want," said Erestor uncaringly._

_"Come on, then," said Haldir, standing back up. Erestor stood up as well, and Haldir saw that Erestor was reasonably tall, even though he was quite scrawny. "How long have you been here, Erestor?"_

_"A couple of months, my lord."_

_Haldir laughed. "I am no lord, Erestor. Simply Haldir."_

_As the night passed on, and Haldir and Erestor talked, Haldir became more and more intrigued by the elf. Haldir's interest in Erestor stunned him. Ever since he had broken up with Glorfindel, he had thought of himself as worthless and unworthy of companionship. As the evening dragged on, Erestor felt that he should leave and let this obviously better elf get some sleep. He stood up. "I should leave."_

_Haldir smiled. "You don't have to, you know."_

_"Hmm?"_

_Haldir rose just far enough to caress Erestor's face. "You don't have to leave."_

_"I don't even know you."_

_Haldir fought another smile. This was obviously not an elf that believed in one-night stands. "Okay. I apologize for asking you that. But I would like to talk to you again."_

_Then Erestor surprised both himself and Haldir by leaning down and kissing Haldir. In Erestor's mind, this evening had redeemed Haldir of those comments he had made to Elrond a week ago._

_Haldir looked up at Erestor and smiled._

Erestor was pulled out of his reverie by elven voices. He opened his eyes and found Glorfindel standing above him, a sad look on his face. "Why'd you have to get yourself caught?" asked Glorfindel.

Erestor struggled to speak and eventually managed to say, "Just kill me."

"I don't want to do that, Erestor, meleth, I don't want to kill you, I love you too much." Glorfindel turned as he heard other voices. He frowned. "I have to leave, Erestor, Elrond doesn't want anyone to know I was here…I hate to do this, Erestor, really I do. Please understand." Glorfindel pulled out a dagger, bent down, and gently pressed the blade to Erestor's neck.

* * *

Elrond was pacing his study. He felt so lonely now. Erestor was gone, so were Glorfindel and Legolas and Haldir as well. The companions he had had for the past few weeks, for better or worse were gone and he felt so alone now. He wished that he could go back in time far enough that Glorfindel was no longer here and he still had Erestor around. Even if Erestor didn't love him, at least he would not be in the hands of the orcs and he would still be here in Imladris.

A knock at his door and then an elf walked in. "Lord Glorfindel has returned, my lord."

"Send him in," said Elrond.

Glorfindel walked in a few moments later. He looked downcast. "Hello, Elrond."

"How did it go, meleth?"

"I was too late," lied Glorfindel easily. "They had already killed him by the time I got there. I saw no sense in staying."

Those words hurt Elrond more than anything that had happened in his life. The love of my life is gone, gone forever. "What did you do with his body?"

"I buried it outside the camp. I felt that he at least deserved that much."

"Yes, he deserved at least that much." Oh, poor Erestor. All the wrongs I've done you, and now I won't even have a gravesite to go to and beg your forgiveness for everything. You will never know now what I would have done for you, how much I would have loved you. You are gone from me forever. He looked at Glorfindel. "I'm just glad that it's all over."

"Is it over?" asked Glorfindel.

"Yes," said Elrond. "It is over."

* * *

Author's Note: No, it isn't over 


	7. Elven Hearts Part 2

Chapter 7

MAJOR NOTE READ THIS BEFORE YOU CONTINUE: This takes place a really long time after the last part. I don't know exactly how long but it's a really long time. Celebr�an has come and gone, we have Elladan, Elrohir, and Arwen on the scene now, and all three are past their majority. Glorfindel is still around and is Elrond's lover now that Celebr�an has left. Just thought it would be smart to update you all before you got really really confused.

* * *

It was raining. Not the typical, annoying kind of rain, but the kind that pounded down on the roof to drive one to madness. Elladan was bored. It was raining too hard to go outside and do anything, so he was trapped inside the Last Homely House. Many had called it beautiful and Elladan had never argued with that, but there was also notoriously little for an outdoorsy elf like himself to do. His younger twin, Elrohir, was much more fond of books, therefore finding no problem with spending days at a time inside. He was good enough at things done outside; he just had a much more scholarly mentality. Elladan was old enough to know that sometimes Elrond despaired over both of them; neither son was like Elrond, content at both scholarly and warrior duties.

"Bored, Elladan?" asked an amused voice from behind him. It was Glorfindel, his tutor and friend.

"Yes," admitted Elladan. "And how can you not be? There is nothing to do..."

"Ah Elladan, that's not correct and you know it." Glorfindel had long harbored fantasies about both of Elrond's sons, but was in control of himself enough to know not to try anything. They were both innocent enough to run back to Elrond and then Elrond would kick him out; and he had come to enjoy his life here. "There is simply nothing to do that you would enjoy doing. There is a difference."

"If you say so, Glorfindel," said Elladan. Obviously, Glorfindel was not on his side today. "So what do you propose I do?"

"You could go to the library. That is where Elrohir is..."

"Then no. I don't want to go there."

Glorfindel smiled at the unending love-hate relationship between the twins. "You could come and help me with the weapons in the armory..."

"That's sooo boring."

"You could go the stables..."

"The horses smell."

"You could help out in the kitchen..."

"It's too hot and crowded."

"You could help your father with his medicines..."

"But he'll start lecturing me..."

"I have given you your options, Elladan. You will pick one of them and get out of my hair." At times, Glorfindel could get annoyed with Elladan's excuses for doing any work. Elladan, he knew, would much prefer to go out hunting, or just riding or exploring, things that were just fun.

Elladan flinched at Glorfindel's harsh tone. "Fine, Glorfindel."

"What are you going to do, then?"

"Help my father." Elladan scuttled away. He was, at times, terrified of Glorfindel. He knew well Glorfindel's prowess with weapons and had no desire to upset Glorfindel unless it was strictly necessary.

He found his father in his workshop, mixing up something. "Father?" he said cautiously. He knew that his father often didn't like to be interrupted when working.

"Yes, Elladan?" asked Elrond without turning. Elrond wondered if Elladan had done something wrong and was being sent to him for punishment.

"Glorfindel sent me here to help you."

"Did you do something wrong?" Elrond asked with a slight smile. Glorfindel was like a second father to the twins and Arwen.

"No...well...I guess I was bothering him a little."

"Ah. Well, haven't you yet learned to leave him alone when he wants to be?"

"He was the one that bothered me, not the other way round!"

Elrond's smile broadened at that statement. Glorfindel could be, when he was in one of his moods, deliberately obnoxious. Elrond knew this well, as his bouts of annoyance usually affected also whether or not he spent his nights with Elrond. All of his children knew about his relationship with Glorfindel, and of that he was glad. It meant that they didn't have to sneak around, always pretending. "Well, I have a task for you when the rain lightens up."

"Really? What?" This, to Elladan, sounded like something that would have to be done outside. And absolutely anything outside was better than the best thing inside.

"I need you to go to the market for me and get me..." Elrond searched around him and came up with a piece of parchment. "Everything on this list."

Elladan groaned. He hated going shopping. But he couldn't see a way out of it. "Yes, father."

* * *

"Anything exciting happen while I was away?" asked Haldir, walking into the room and casually dropping down into the nearest chair.

"Nope. Nothing. It has been the most boring month in Lorien's history," came the amused voice from the next room.

Haldir sighed. "Come in here, where I can see you."

Celeborn emerged, a smile on his face. "Miss me?"

"Of course I did. But I'm too tired to get up, so you're going to have to come over here."

"Are you ordering me around, Haldir?"

"Yes. Now come over here...but it's entirely your choice. I'm sure someone else here would be happy for my company."

"You think you can play me like that?"

"Yes." And Haldir knew that he could. He smiled as Celeborn groaned theatrically and then walked over. As soon as he was within Haldir's grip, Haldir reached out and grabbed Celeborn around the wrist and pulled him down. "I'm glad to be back," he whispered into Celeborn's ear. "Really glad."

Celeborn shifted slightly on Haldir's lap to make himself more comfortable. "Trust me, the feeling's mutual." He kissed Haldir, but Haldir pushed him away.

"Honestly, Celeborn, is that all you can think about?"

Celeborn smiled. Haldir played these games with him on occasion, and as maddening as they could get sometimes, the end result was always worth the preceding pain and annoyance. "And if it is?"

* * *

Elladan loved the actual practice of going to market. He didn't even mind buying things, provided that they were things that he wanted. What he hated more than anything was being told to go to market by Elrond or Glorfindel, or the other small but still large enough to be annoying number of people that were allowed to order him around to buy specific somethings that he personally had no interest in. Although, it was still outside, and for that Elladan was grateful.

He went around the market, consulting Elrond's list from time to time as he bought the things his father wanted. Most of the people in the market knew him, as well as being a pretty regular visitor to said market, he was the son of Elrond. That got him special privileges other buyers might not, like lowered prices or better goods. No one really minded, it was just the way things were and the way things would always be.

But one seller did not seem to know that. Elladan went over to his stall and the elf running it pointedly ignored him and continued to haggle with his present customer, who looked increasingly nervous as he saw Elladan's dagger-like glares. Eventually, the potential customer left without buying anything.

The elf turned to look at Elladan with an annoyed face. "There was no need to scare off my customer. There is plenty for everyone."

"I am..."

"I know who you are, Elladan son of Elrond. That does not make you any better than any other here."

This elf was obviously out of his mind. "Of course I am."

The elf smiled. "How may I help you today, Master Elladan?"

"No, you can't just change the subject like that. You've insulted my honor...now I shall have to kill you."

The elf raised an eyebrow. "Kill me?"

"Well, I shall have to engage in a duel with you. I doubt you can even use a sword..."

"Don't make any hasty assumptions." The elf reached back out of view, and pulled out an old, but well cared for sword. "So, shall we duel now, or later? Or, shall we not duel at all, accept my...sincere apologies and get on with our business?"

"Don't think you will get off so easily, elf." Elladan pulled out his own sword. He had been trained by Glorfindel of Gondolin, and there was no way this elf would be able to best him. "Come with me. Where shall we duel?"

"Wherever you would prefer, Master Elladan."

The two made their way to an open stretch of grass. "Are you ready to die, elf?" asked Elladan.

"I didn't know that your father would have trained you to become a kinslayer," said the elf thoughtfully. "Would it not make sense to fight till first blood?"

Elladan could see the sense in that and knew that he had been rash and that he should have considered his words before they came out of his mouth, but he had a surprising tendency to not do so. "Very well, then, elf. We shall fight to first blood." Elladan raised his sword.

It took all of about three seconds for Elladan to realize he was woefully out of his league with the elf. It was all he could do just to keep the elf's sword from reaching his body. The elf had a better reach than he did and obviously centuries more practice with a sword. He struggled back across the grass, any thoughts of attacking gone from his mind. Then the elf stopped attacking and fell back to a more defensive stance. Elladan was puzzled, but did not waste a second on launching an offensive of his own. The elf batted it off easily, but made no attempt to regain the offensive.

Finally, the elf said, "Shall we stop this now?"

Elladan, tired and out of breath and furious with this elf, his own temper rising to the surface to block out rational thought, said, "Never."

The elf shook his head. "Then forgive me for this." He raised his sword once more and neatly hit Elladan in the side of the head with the flat of his blade. Elladan dropped like a stone. The crowd that had gathered rushed to Elladan's aid. Before a mob could form, the other elf had disappeared.

* * *

Legolas rode through the courtyard, seeing Elrond's familiar face waiting for him. But the older elf's face was marred with grief. Legolas dismounted, handed the reins to a waiting elf and strode over. "What is amiss, Lord Elrond?"

"My son, Elladan, was attacked today."

"My lord, that is terrible! How...how is he?"

"He should survive. The witnesses say that he challenged an elf to a duel...and the other elf beat him. Then the elf disappeared. I cannot help but think that this elf was sent...by someone to eliminate my heir."

"There is no need for paranoia," said Legolas, following Elrond inside. Relations between Imladris and Mirkwood were quite cordial now, and Legolas visited Imladris routinely. There had never been a repeat of the chaos that had surrounded Glorfindel's arrival. But things were different, too. Without Erestor as Elrond's right-hand man, Imladris still functioned, but nothing seemed so precise and efficient as it had before. It was as if something had broken, and had been repaired, but not repaired well.

"What else am I to think?"

"Elladan is easy to insult, and it takes very little for him to think his honor slighted. This could simply be..."

"Some extremely competent elf that just happened to irritate my son?" Elrond shook his head. "Forgive me, this is irrelevant. You did not travel all this way to listen to me talk about this."

"We are having difficulties in Mirkwood. We wanted to ask for a hundred of your warriors to help us with our problems."

"For how long?" Elrond thought about this; that was not an especially sizable force, but it was one that would be missed if something bad were to happen near Imladris.

"However long it takes."

"How long do I have to make up my mind?"

"A week at the longest. Things are getting really bad in my home and I am simply trying to do whatever I can to stop it from destroying all my people."

"Prince Legolas!" said a surprised voice.

Legolas turned and saw Glorfindel. He fought the grimace that threatened to appear on his face. He had always made an honest effort to avoid Glorfindel whenever he was in Imladris. "It's good to see you again, Lord Glorfindel," said Legolas, not meaning a word of it; that was diplomacy. He turned back to Elrond. "Please consider our need, Elrond. I don't think you want to see my people destroyed."

"Of course I don't, Legolas." Elrond beckoned for Glorfindel to come forward. "Glorfindel, can you take Legolas to his usual rooms?"

"Of course, Elrond. Right this way, Prince Legolas."

Gritting his teeth, Legolas followed Glorfindel. He knew the way to his rooms perfectly fine and didn't see the reason why Elrond had asked Glorfindel to take him there. Legolas made no effort to make small talk. He didn't like Glorfindel and saw no reason to be nice to him.

Glorfindel stopped outside the door. "Please tell me if there is anything you lack, Prince Legolas."

"Of course, Lord Glorfindel." Legolas opened the door and tried to close it quickly, but not quickly enough.

Glorfindel slipped in. "It has been a long time, Legolas. More than two years. Have you been avoiding me?"

Legolas had learned long ago that Glorfindel was a lot less prone to be violent if Legolas just gave him what he wanted. But he had made a concerted effort to conceal his visits to Imladris from Glorfindel, and had succeeded surprisingly well. He stepped close enough to Glorfindel that their bodies were touching. "No. Do you think I would?"

Glorfindel pushed him to the ground. "Yes, I do."

Legolas pulled Glorfindel down with him and kissed him. He knew what was required of him. And he knew that no matter what happened, no matter how rough Glorfindel got (and he did get quite rough on occasion), that Elrond would never find out.

Glorfindel liked fucking Legolas. Legolas was his without any protest, whenever Glorfindel wanted. It was like Erestor before Erestor finally grew bold enough to stand up to Glorfindel. But look where it got him. "You are mine, Legolas. You know that, right?"

Legolas wished that he had the courage to go to Elrond and inform him. He wished that he had the courage to fight back against Glorfindel. He wished that he had the courage to tell his father what was happening to him every time that he ventured to Imladris. He wished even that someone like Haldir was here, with whom he could talk to openly.

But none of that seemed very likely right now. Glorfindel was waiting for an answer from him. Instead, he kissed Glorfindel with as much fake passion as he could muster, wishing more than anything that this was just over. But it wasn't and he had to endure it until Glorfindel decided that he had had enough and left. "Of course I'm yours, Glorfindel. Why wouldn't I be?"

Glorfindel thought he detected some sarcasm in Legolas' voice. But that didn't really matter. What mattered was that at least he had scared Legolas into submission and silence; and that was what really mattered.

* * *

Elrohir had slipped out shortly after dark. His brother's injury worried him and his remedy for that, as much as his father disapproved, was to drink it away. He went to the town and into the pub; it was full and though people recognized him, no one really cared. He got himself some beer and went to a secluded corner. He preferred to drink alone, especially when he was upset; and he was upset right now.

A little while and quite a lot of alcohol later, a pleasant voice asked, "Do you mind if I sit here?"

Elrohir looked up and saw a handsome elf looking at him. Elrohir shrugged. "Sure," he said.

The stranger sat down opposite Elrohir and said critically, "You've drunk too much, Master Elrohir. What will your father say?"

"What do you care?" asked Elrohir. His mind wasn't working very well, but well enough to tell him to be on his guard.

"Your father wouldn't approve of this."

"None of your business." Elrohir signaled for the waitress to bring him another pint. It appeared surprisingly quickly.

The other elf pulled it away from Elrohir. "No, you're not drinking this. Come with me outside. The fresh air will clear your mind."

A part of Elrohir was telling him to say no, to just stay here with the comfort of his alcohol. But the stranger pretty much pulled him to his feet and led him out of the pub. "Where are we going?" asked Elrohir. The stranger was right; his mind was quite a bit clearer just from being outside.

"With me," said the stranger in a much less pleasant voice. He pulled Elrohir into an alley and pulled out some rope he had evidently stashed there. With what looked like practiced ease, he bound Elrohir's ankles and wrists, and then hit him on the side of the head. Now that Elrohir was limp and unresisting, the elf picked him up and left.

* * *

"I need to talk to you about something very important, Haldir," said Celeborn that night after dinner.

Haldir could tell that Celeborn was now in one of his serious moods and so didn't reply with a joking comment. He sat up and focused his attention on Celeborn. "What about?"

"The two of us."

Haldir smiled ruefully. He had come to enjoy the time and attention he got from Celeborn. It was horrible, but he was starting to believe that he cared more about Celeborn than about Erestor. Even though Erestor was long dead, Haldir still felt that he should remain loyal to the memory of Erestor. "What about us?"

"I...I want to be able to give you more than what you already have from me. I want to be able to bond with you, Haldir. You have to know that. You have to know that I love you that much."

Haldir felt his heart stop momentarily. He knew that Celeborn cared about him, but he had no idea that Celeborn's feelings ran that deep. "Celeborn, you are already bonded. And don't even try to deny to me that you love Galadriel. I know you do and you won't be able to convince me otherwise."

"No, I won't deny it. But you see, she has told me that she plans to sail to Valinor. I am too tied to Middle Earth, I have no plans to ever leave these shores...Haldir, do you plan, too, to go to the Undying Lands?"

Haldir honestly hadn't ever thought about it. But now that Celeborn was forcing him to, he seriously considered it. "Why are you asking me?"

"Because if you aren't, if you remain on these shores with me, I want to bond with you. When Galadriel is in Valinor, our bond becomes null. I would be free to bond with you. But I'm not going to force you to stay here with me. I love you too much for that. If you leave these shores someday, I will not hate you for it."

"Celeborn, you've given me a lot to think about. I hadn't even really decided before, but now I will give it serious consideration." He smiled; he wanted to end this serious mood. "Until then, though, how about you come here and let me see if I can get these dismal thoughts about the future out of your mind."

"Dismal?" Celeborn did approach Haldir, though.

"Certainly. It's so dismal to think endlessly about the future. It's better to live in the present. What will come will come."

"How hopelessly warrior-like of you."

"You never said you wanted my brains. And my body is far better for my being a warrior, Celeborn."

"I have never complained about your body."

"Then stop complaining about my wits."

* * *

Elrond was pacing his study. It was early in the morning, and Glorfindel and Legolas were both silent in the corner, watching him. Glorfindel had known Elrond long enough to know that these fits of silent fury passed quicker if uninterrupted, and so made no attempt to break the awkward silence.

Legolas did not know Elrond so well and made the mistake of talking. "What's wrong, Lord Elrond?"

Elrond spun on him in a fury. "What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong is that someone out there is trying to destroy my family, that's what's wrong! First my eldest son is nearly killed and now my younger is missing!"

"Elrohir's missing?" asked Glorfindel in an urgent tone.

"Yes," said Elrond, seemingly a bit calmer.

"Since when?"

"I don't know. But he should have been home last night..."

"They are not Elflings any longer, Elrond. If they choose to spend their nights elsewhere...well, that is their own business."

"You think it a coincidence that he's gone tonight, of all nights?"

"If you believe in your own little conspiracy theory, yes," said Legolas. "But we both know...we all know that chance is reality, and it is much more likely that Elrohir went out seeking company tonight after he found out about his brother's injury. It wouldn't surprise me if he went home with some other elf. He wanted company; he wanted to try to forget. Is that not as plausible as your conspiracy?"

Elrond had to admit that it was, "I suppose." A pause. "But I'm still going to kill him when he gets back."

"I'll help," said Glorfindel with a small smile.

That brought a smile to Elrond's face. "Okay. So maybe you're right, maybe this is just a collection of coincidences. But what if it isn't? What if this is some coordinated, orchestrated attempt to destroy my family?"

"Who would want to do that?" asked Glorfindel. "Have you made any particular enemies that you are aware of?"

"I don't think so," said Elrond. He searched his memory, trying to think of every small slight he had caused in the past, trying to decide if any of those people would be angry enough with him to do something like this. "I can't think of any."

"Well, if your son has truly been taken," said Legolas, "it will only be a matter of time before the kidnappers demand ransom."

"Unless they just killed him," said Elrond in a remarkably calm tone.

"Then someone would have already found the body," said Glorfindel. "If this is really as planned as you think it may be, then they will not make dumb mistakes. If he were dead, we'd have found him. If they were trying to make a statement like that, they would want it made very, very loud, loud enough that we couldn't miss it."

Elrond nodded his agreement. He could see the sense in that. "Then we'd best hope that my foolish son is just spending the night with someone. I hate to think what this might become if it is something more than that."


	8. Elven Hearts Part 2

Chapter 8  
If you've gotten this far, i dont think i need a summary and yu probably dont read it anyway so i wont bother including it

* * *

Elrohir came to in a strange bed and he realized that he was not at home. It took him several minutes to realize why. Then fuzzy recollections began to come back to him. He remembered the elf from the pub, and he remembered leaving with him. So am I at his house now? Elrohir's head hurt worse than any hangover he'd ever had before.

Then he heard footsteps that sounded monstrously loud, but he knew that was only because of his hangover. The same handsome elf stood over him. "How are you feeling?" the elf asked, not unkindly.

"Where am I?" asked Elrohir. He was the son of Elrond and he was not one to be taken advantage of.

"That is of no importance."

"Who are you?"

"You ask a lot of questions, don't you?" The elf's tone was steadily becoming less friendly.

"Your name."

"Belegtur," responded the elf, "And now you will stop asking questions."

That simple sentence caused a million more questions to present themselves in Elrohir's mind. But he bit his tongue and said nothing except, "So what do I do now?"

"You stay here. I don't know when you're leaving; that's not up to me."

Elrohir sat up. "Wait…how did I get here…didn't I come…home with you?"

"No, you didn't. You're too young for me, anyway. You must have really had too much to drink last night." Belegtur laughed.

The prince frowned. "So why am I here?"

Belegtur grinned. "You are here because the time of Elrond as ruler of Imladris has come to an end."

* * *

Galadriel walked down the hall to hear her husband and Haldir talking quietly. She did not eavesdrop, as much as she wanted to. She knew about their relationship and saw no reason to stop it. To do so would result in nothing more than making Haldir and Celeborn unhappy. She loved Celeborn dearly, and, in his own way, he loved her back. But Celeborn had desires that she could not fulfill, and she understood that. 

Elrond's voice suddenly made itself known in her head. It sounded sorrowful, almost depressed. "Galadriel, I do not know what to do."

"What's wrong, Elrond?" she asked.

"Elrohir has been missing all day, since last night. Elladan lies near death in the room next to mine. I cannot help but think that the two are related."

Galadriel smiled to herself. Elrond had always been marginally paranoid and she had never managed to break him of that habit. "What evidence do you have that the two are connected other than that they happened in the same span of time?"

"…None."

"Exactly. I'm sure that those you have consulted in Imladris have told you the same thing, Elrond. Elladan and Elrohir are both young. They both are apt to do stupid things. You did stupid things when you were young. Let them be young. They are both intelligent enough to stay away from the worst of harm."

"And if they are connected? If Elrohir has been kidnapped? Then what?"

Galadriel's face became very solemn. "Then I pledge the support of Lorien to restore your son back to Imladris. We will not stand by while you are in need, Elrond. You have my word on that."

Elrond smiled slightly now. "Thank you. You have eased my mind."

"I know. Try not to worry, Elrond. You are famous for it, but things will work out in the end, no matter what. I promise that, as well."

* * *

Elladan came back to consciousness with a headache worse than any he had ever felt before. It was so bad that he couldn't even sit up, much less talk or do anything. He could barely open his eyes. "Are you well?" asked a voice.  
Elladan winced; the voice sounded like it was being shouted. "Please…quiet," he managed to say. 

"Sorry," said the voice, much more quietly this time.

Elladan recognized the voice as that of Glorfindel and forced a smile. "What…happened?"

"Don't worry about that." Then Elladan felt warm lips on his for a moment. "I'm glad you're okay. I was really worried."

"What was…the kiss?"

Glorfindel kissed him again. "I've wanted to do that for a long time."

Elladan was seriously confused. His father and Glorfindel had been together for as long as he could remember. They had never made a secret of it and appeared to be very much in love. "What about…my father?"

"Let's just keep this to ourselves." Glorfindel smiled. He knew he had roped Elladan in. All he could hope for was that Elladan wouldn't run to Elrond. If he did, Glorfindel would deny everything and claim that Elladan was hallucinating or dreaming.

Elladan smiled. "'Kay."

Glorfindel kissed him on the forehead. "You need to get some sleep. You got hit pretty hard. You had us all worried for a while. Don't do dumb things, Elladan, I thought you knew better than that."

"Want to…see Elrohir."

Glorfindel winced. "Elrohir's sleeping. He can come see you later."

Elladan nodded and turned onto his side, falling asleep quickly.

* * *

Legolas walked with Elrond to the courtyard. "We are forever indebted to you, Elrond. You have no idea how much this will help us." 

"Think nothing of it, Legolas. We're allies, and we're friends, and that's what friends and allies do for each other."

Legolas nodded. It was, as always, on the tip of his tongue, to tell Elrond about what Glorfindel was really like. But he could see how happy Elrond was, and he didn't want to destroy the family that Elrond had taken so long to cultivate. So he would say nothing, as always, and do whatever he could to come to Imladris as rarely as possible.

"Have a safe journey, Legolas, and do not let anything bad happen to you or my men in clearing out your area. Send them home safe."

"I will do my best, Elrond."

Elrond heard a small noise behind him and saw Arwen standing there, staring at Legolas. "It appears you have an admirer, Legolas."

Legolas looked at Arwen. "She will be a beauty when she is grown."

"Indeed she will be. But if she is anything like her brothers, or myself, she will be a constant menace as well. Do you want to take her now?"

Legolas grinned. "I will not be tied down, especially to one as young as her. I respect your commitment to Glorfindel, but I would much rather remain single."

Elrond smiled as well. "Honestly, the idea of having someone who sleeps with you and you only is so…rewarding."

Legolas bit his tongue so hard it bled. "Of course, Elrond. But I prefer my freedom."

"As you say, Legolas." Elrond shrugged.

"I wish you well in your search for Elrohir. May you find him well."

Elrond smile was sadder this time. "Thank you, Legolas. I hope, too, that he is well."

"Mirkwood will support you if he is not. I swear that, Elrond."

* * *

When Haldir woke up, Celeborn wasn't in bed. Haldir rolled over and scanned the room. Celeborn was nowhere in sight. Haldir sighed. "Celeborn?" he called. There was no answer. Haldir sat up. He hated it when Celeborn left in the mornings without even bothering to tell him. 

He got out of bed and quickly dressed then went to search for his lover. It took him nearly an hour, but he eventually found Celeborn in his study. "Hey," he said.

Celeborn didn't even look up. "Hello, Haldir."

Haldir frowned. Celeborn was rarely this distant to him. "What's wrong, meleth?"

"Go away, Haldir. I'm busy."

Haldir was hurt. He gave a lot to be with Celeborn, and it didn't appear right now that Celeborn appreciated it. He approached Celeborn, wondering if he had said or done something wrong. "Celeborn, if I've upset you…"

"Haldir," said Celeborn impatiently, "go away. I've already asked you once. Don't make me ask again."

Haldir frowned and retreated; he was upset now. He found work for himself to do and made himself busy until the evening meal, when he felt that it was probably safe to approach Celeborn. He, Galadriel, and Celeborn all sat together. But today neither Galadriel nor Celeborn were there. Ordinarily, Haldir would think that they were off together but he had the feeling that that was not what was happening. He was sure that something had gone very wrong. That was the only thing that Haldir would imagine would make Celeborn so unresponsive.

After the meal was over, Haldir went back to Celeborn's study. Celeborn was there, working. "Hey," said Haldir cautiously.

Celeborn looked up and Haldir could see how tired he was. Haldir wondered what time Celeborn had left last night. "What do you want, Haldir?"

"I just…" Haldir shook his head. He knew it was none of his business. "Forget it. Goodnight, Celeborn. Oh…and I'm going on patrol tomorrow."

For a second, the old Celeborn showed through. "But you just came back three days ago."

"I know." Haldir had arranged it this morning.

Celeborn nodded. "Fine." Then the mask slipped back into place. "Leave, I'm busy."

Haldir retreated. He wished that Celeborn cared enough to share his really major problems with him, but Haldir guessed that he just wasn't that important to Celeborn.

* * *

Glorfindel walked in the room and saw Elrond sitting on the side of the bed, his head in his hands. Concerned, Glorfindel walked over and put his arm around his lover's shoulders. "What's wrong, meleth?" 

Elrond shook his head, not trusting himself to be able to speak calmly or coherently. He gestured vaguely over to the table.

Glorfindel rose and went over to the indicated table. He recoiled from what he saw. It was a single pale finger, with what Glorfindel knew was Elrohir's ring on it. "Elrond…"

"Don't, Glorfindel. Don't try. Nothing you say can explain that away. Someone has taken my son. I don't know if they've killed him or not, but they're definitely torturing him. I can't stand that thought. It's my duty as a father to be able to protect my children, and I let Elrohir be kidnapped. It is my paternal duty to go after him and find him."

"You have no idea where he is," interjected Glorfindel.

"I will find him. If I offer enough money, someone will show up with information about where my son is. Someone has to know."

"Elladan woke up," said Glorfindel. "He appears fine."

"Thank the Valar," said Elrond. "It would be a blow beyond measure if he retained permanent damage."

Glorfindel sat back down beside Elrond and pulled him into his arms. "We will find Elrohir, meleth. I swear to you that we will."

"I've contacted Mirkwood and Lorien. They have both agreed to help once I know where I'm going. This is not going to end nicely, Glorfindel. Whoever has taken Elrohir must surely know that I will go after him. This will be not much short of a war."

Glorfindel closed his eyes, a frown appearing on his face. Yes, he was a warrior, but that didn't mean that he relished the thought of war. Small skirmishes, yes, they could be fun, but a major war just meant death and sorrow and brought back too many bad memories.

_He was walking through the camp when he heard a familiar voice. There were surprisingly few elves he knew here and so he turned to talk to an old friend. Then he saw Erestor walking along with a blonde elf, talking and laughing with him._

_Glorfindel couldn't miss the other elf's hand resting on the small of Erestor's back and the way that the other elf found excuses to touch Erestor; brushing hair back behind Erestor's shoulder, patting his arm at every amusing comment. It made Glorfindel's blood boil._

_So he walked over. "Erestor, it's good to see you again." He pulled Erestor over to him and kissed him deeply. "It's been too long."_

_Erestor looked stunned, confused, and ashamed. "Glorfindel…it's good to see you…I…uh…didn't expect to see you here."_

_Glorfindel looked at the other elf with a knowing smile and said gently. "My bonded seems to be at a loss for words."_

_"Your bonded?" asked the other elf._

_Glorfindel wondered how far Erestor had gone with the elf and decided that he would rather not know. "Yes."_

_Then Erestor surprised Glorfindel by pulling away. "I don't know what you're talking about Glorfindel. It ended between us a long time ago. Don't think you can do this to me. Haldir, pay him no mind. He's just jealous…"_

_"Why would I be jealous, you pathetic little scribe?"_

_The other elf, Haldir, pulled out a sword. "Say that again and I shall remove your tongue. Erestor, stay behind me."_

_"Relax. Just watch out for Erestor…Haldir, is it? Yes, he can…be…well, I'll let you find out for yourself."_

* * *

Elrohir had never before thought that anything could hurt quite this badly. He was so confused right now. Everyone seemed to love his father, and Elrohir had lived a very sheltered life. He had never met anyone whose opinions did not exactly echo his own. Elrohir supposed that, in a way, this was a wake-up call. If only it could be a little less painful. 

Belegtur came back into the room. Elrohir immediately wiped his pained expression away. He didn't want to appear weak in front of his captor. "What do you want?" he asked as bravely as he could manage.

"What I truly want, princeling, is nothing that you could ever understand. You have never known what it is to go to bed hungry, to wake up hungry, to go to bed the next night even hungrier. You have never known what is it to tell your children that you have nothing for them. You don't know what it is to be poor…"

"Well, whose fault is that?" asked Elrohir. "If you can't get a job…"

"Princeling, there are no jobs to be had. At least not for anyone such as me." Belegtur rolled up his sleeve to reveal a brand just above his wrist, a capital 'T'; thief. "For one foolish incident in my youth, trying to feed my family, I am forever shunned."

"Well…" Elrohir had to admit he did have a little trouble coming up with an answer for that. "Criminals deserve to be punished."

Belegtur stepped forwards. "Have you ever heard of forgiveness, princeling?"

"But…surely…not all jobs are closed to you."

"No. Only the ones that pay enough to support more than a mouse."

Elrohir, for the first time, felt a little ashamed of his high birth. "Then…let me go…and I will talk to my father…"

"But it is not just me, little princeling. It is all the ones out there who are not fortunate enough to be friends of Lord Elrond. One job for me will not solve the problem. That is something that your kind will never understand."

"My kind?"

"The kind that has never had to work a day in their lives and never will have to. My friends and I wish to change that for good."

"How?" Elrohir was a little afraid to ask.

"We are going to kill Elrond and all his family. And then we are going to take over. We will have a fair leadership…"

"How can any leader be legitimate if he has to kill his predecessor? And what kind of elf are you, to slay your own kin?"

"Trust me, your precious father would not wish to view me as kin, so I will do him the same courtesy."

* * *

Celeborn awoke alone and wondered where Haldir was. Then he remembered; Haldir had gone out on patrol. He was upset about that. He knew that Haldir had had that specially arranged, and that wounded Celeborn deeply. Admittedly, though, he knew that he deserved it. He had been heartless to Haldir. But he had been having a tough day. Elrond had Farspoke Galadriel and told her of the ring he had received. Celeborn had spent the rest of the day trying desperately to figure out where Elrohir was being held. But that was still no excuse for treating an elf he loved dearly the way he did. 

He rolled off the bed and saw a piece of paper flutter to the floor. He picked it up. It was from Haldir. 'Lord Celeborn,' it read. 'When I return from my patrol, don't seek me out again for anything other than purely professional reasons. Our relationship was nothing but a mistake, built on unstable foundations. I am sorry for whatever I have done and I hope that you can forgive me for it. Love, Haldir.'

Celeborn threw the paper down angrily. How dare Haldir break up with him? Didn't Haldir understand that he sometimes had a really bad day and just wanted to be alone? He had had the ultimate of bad days and though he knew he should have confided in Haldir, he hadn't, and Haldir just had to deal with that.

Now the anger subsided and the grief rose to the surface. Memories of their happy relationship came to mind. It had been a strong relationship, built on friendship, trust, and love; Celeborn knew that for sure, whatever Haldir said differently. He wasn't ready to give up on Haldir.

He rose up and dressed. He knew he had a long day ahead of him and he knew that he would have to work hard in order to have any hopes of forgetting Haldir, even for just a day.

* * *

Elladan woke up with a smile on his face. He saw Glorfindel sitting at the foot of his bed. "G'morning." 

"Actually, it's the middle of the afternoon," said Glorfindel, rising to his feet and moving to the head of the bed so that he could kiss Elladan. "How are you feeling?"

Elladan shrugged. "Okay, I guess. My head kinda hurts."

"That's to be expected. Your father wants to see you. Do you want to see him now?"

Elladan grinned. "Of course."

Glorfindel opened the door and Elrond walked in. "Good morning, Glorfindel," said Elrond absently, leaning over to kiss Glorfindel. Elrond knew that his sons were comfortable with these small displays of affection between him and Glorfindel. "Hello, Elladan. How are you?"

"I suppose I'll live."

"You had better."

"Where's Elrohir? I want to speak to him."

Elrond sighed and looked at Glorfindel. "There has been…a problem."

Elladan sat up, not caring about the shooting pains up his spine as he did so. He was very protective of his younger twin. "What happened to him?"

"He was…" began Elrond.

"We think he was kidnapped," cut in Glorfindel. "We think that maybe your accident and his disappearance were related."

"Do you remember anything about what happened to you?"

"Of course I do," said Elladan. "Nothing seemed really out of the ordinary, except for the fact that the other elf was amazing with a sword." Elladan shrugged. "He even looked completely normal. He looked like a nobody."

And that was the exact problem. Elrond knew that without a somewhat reliable description, there would be no chance for anyone to ever be able to give him any information. And without information, he would never find Elrohir. "There had to be something, Elladan. Think."

"Elrond, stop it," muttered Glorfindel. "If he doesn't remember anything, then he doesn't remember anything."

Elrond nodded. "I'm sorry, Elladan. I'll leave you to your rest. But if you remember anything else, you had better tell me."

"I want to find him as much as you do, father."

"I know." Elrond managed one last smile before he left.

"I wish I could do something to help him," said Elladan to Glorfindel. "He looks so upset and I guess he's gonna be that way until we find Elrohir. I've never seen him so upset."

But I have. When Erestor left. "There's not really much that any of us can do right now except hope for a miracle."

"I didn't think that miracles were too often come by these days."

Glorfindel grinned. "No, they're not."

* * *

Legolas was called back from his patrol to hear the devastating news. He truly felt for Elrond. No parent deserved to lose their children. He did not know what Elrond was going through, and hoped that he would never know. He wished that there was anything that he could do, but doubted it. 

His father called him in. "I am assembling a force to go to Imladris," said Thranduil.

Legolas frowned. "Why?"

"To assist in the return of Elrond's son."

"I didn't know that Elrond even knew where he was being held."

Thranduil smiled. "No, he doesn't, but it won't hurt to have our support. That way when he does find out, he does not have to wait all that time before we can send our contingent. I think it's just a matter of practicality."

Legolas nodded. That made at least some sort of sense. "So why are you telling me this?"

"I want you to go with them."

"As what? The leader?"

"No."

Legolas was taken aback. "What do you mean?"

Thranduil sighed. "This may sound odd to you, Legolas, but there are rumors of an insurrection brewing in Imladris. A group of miscreants intends to overthrow Elrond, if the rumors can be believed. If this group truly exists, then I think it is only practical to assume that they were the ones to kidnap Elrohir."

"Why do they want to overthrow Elrond?"

"They want to eliminate the upper class." Thranduil shrugged; he had no idea what it was to live the life of one of his underlings, and he really didn't care to find out. "I need you to go there to spy for me. I need to know more about this group."

"You know, father, a lot of people in Imladris probably recognize me."

Thranduil nodded sadly. "I know. And that is why we are going to have to make some changes to your appearance."

Legolas was outraged. "Absolutely not!"

"It is the only way, Legolas. Do this for me. Do this for Elrond and Imladris. Most of all, though, do this for all of us, for Elrond, our family, Celeborn and Galadriel. If these rebels succeed, none of the rest of us will survive much longer. They must be destroyed."


	9. Elven Hearts Part 2

Chapter 9  
notes: please please please please review this if you read it. It only takes a couple of minutes and will bring a ray of sunshine into my world : )

* * *

Elrohir had seen most of this supposed insurrection. In his mind, they were all worthless, lowborn scum. He was trying very hard to curb that opinion, not least because to voice it here would get him killed. Although, they were not all bad men; some, like Belegtur, had gotten into one incident and had been since shunned. Of course, there were some far less savory characters. Elrohir steered clear of them as best he could.

"So, princeling, what do you think of us?" asked Belegtur.

"I don't think you'll win," said Elrohir honestly.

"And why would that be, princeling?" asked Belegtur menacingly.

"It's just that all of my father's men are trained warriors. A whole lot of them fought in the Last Alliance. Your men have no practical experience."

Belegtur nodded. "Okay, then princeling. You can teach my men to fight."

Elrohir raised an eyebrow. "And why would I do that?"

Belegtur drew a dagger. "Because if you do, my princeling, you might live after we kill the rest of your family."

Elrohir closed his eyes. He did not relish the thought of helping these elves to kill his own family and to kill those he cared about most. But part of him didn't want to die, either. And so maybe it was best to just go along with what Belegtur said and hope that everything would turn out alright. "Okay. I'll do it."

* * *

A messenger rode up, out of breath. Haldir frowned as he stepped forward. Celeborn was not one to exhaust messengers unless it was absolutely necessary. The hopelessly romantic part of his mind hoped that it was an apology from Celeborn. But his rational mind knew that Celeborn would not do that. "What is it?" asked Haldir. 

"An urgent message from Lord Celeborn," the elf said.

Haldir fought the urge to roll his eyes at the elf's obvious gift for stating the obvious. "And what is the message?" he said, a little impatiently.

"Lord Celeborn requests that you return to him immediately."

Haldir swallowed. He had no idea what that summons pertained to. He knew that the note he had left Celeborn was rather harsh. He had not meant it to be at the time, but looking back, he could see that it had been. On the other hand, it could be something entirely different. "Okay." He had a lot of things to get ready, then. These patrols were not especially dangerous, but they still needed a good commander at all times. He had planned to be out here for a long time, and so he hadn't really appointed any to take his place.

By noon, he was ready to leave. He knew that he would return by nightfall, and that wasn't nearly enough time for Haldir to think of appropriate responses to anything that Celeborn might throw at him. So as he rode away from his men, he knew he had a more confused, thoughtful expression on his face than most of his elves had ever seen.

He took the time to change before he went to see Celeborn. The main reason for this was to give him just that little bit more time to sort out his thoughts. When he was changed into clean clothes, he sought Celeborn out and found him in his study. "My lord Celeborn," he said formally, stiffly, as he walked in.

Celeborn's head raised and he smiled a little. "Hello, Haldir."

"You told me to come urgently, my lord."

It hurt Celeborn that Haldir was being so cold towards him. He rose to his feet and said, "I need to explain myself, Haldir, and I understand that you're angry with me…"

"My lord, I had quite urgent duties on patrol, so unless this is some professional matter…"

"It is," said Celeborn. "Elrond has received word that he will soon come under siege from a group of rebels within his lands. He has asked us to send our best warriors. And I want you to go with them. And that's why…that's why I want to explain myself…in case something happens to you. I'm no idiot; I know that it could happen. And I couldn't stand for you to die without you hearing this."

"Hearing what?"

"That I love you. That I'm sorry that I shut you out. It was a really bad day and I shouldn't have done what I did. But I'm so used to just going within myself when I'm upset. It's been a long time since I've really opened up to anyone…it's just like second nature to me."

Haldir smiled a little. "That doesn't change anything. I've already broken up with you." He bit his lip, hoping that Celeborn would say something heartwarmingly romantic at this point.

Instead, he just nodded. "I know. But that…I wanted to try anyway. I wanted to know if there was something between us…or if it was just lust on both of our parts. When will you be ready to leave again?"

"Can I have a couple of days to relax?"

"There will be time to relax when all of this is over, Haldir."

Haldir nodded. "Okay. I could leave probably by the day after tomorrow." He turned to walk out of the room. He had hoped that this would be a reconciliation of some sort, but it seemed that really there were too many differences between them. That was upsetting. But, as Erestor had once told him, things happened and if you were to survive, you had to adapt.

* * *

Haldir looked up as the flap of the tent opened a little and he saw Erestor. "Come in," he said, smiling. He had been able to tell ever since he had seen Glorfindel that Erestor had been in an abusive relationship, emotionally if not necessarily physically, and that he had extremely low self-esteem. He was doing his best to change that, but it was becoming emotionally taxing on him as well. Erestor seemed very clingy, but Haldir didn't want to push him away. "Hey," he said. He had been intending to go to sleep, but now it appeared that he wouldn't be going to sleep anytime soon. 

"I'm sorry to bother you…I can leave if you want me to," said Erestor hesitantly.

"No, no," said Haldir. "Sit down. What is it?"

Erestor sat down, hugging his knees to his chest. "I have been told that the past few battles have not gone in our favor…what if we lose this, Haldir?"

"We can't lose this, Erestor."

"I know…but what if we do?"

Haldir got up and moved over to Erestor. He pulled Erestor into his arms and kissed him on the forehead. He didn't want to get into any kind of sexual relationship with Erestor; being his friend was tough enough right now. They had slept together once, the night after Erestor had had that conversation with Glorfindel. It hadn't meant very much to Haldir, but he sensed that it had to Erestor. "Well, what do you know of battle strategy?"

"Well…I was a scholar before…I mean, a long time ago."

"A scholar of what?"

"War."

Haldir nodded. "So you think that you could help?"

"Maybe. Do you know who is in charge of our battle strategy?"

"Yes. Lord Elrond is."

Haldir watched as Erestor physically recoiled. "Maybe…he probably does not need my help."

"Why do you dislike Lord Elrond so much?"

Erestor pulled away from Haldir, and rose to his feet. "I should go…"

A part of Haldir wanted to let Erestor go. He knew that it would be a lot easier on him if he were just to abandon Erestor. But he couldn't convince himself to do so. Erestor was so fragile right now. "No. You aren't leaving tonight." He wanted to hit himself. He couldn't believe those words had come out of his mouth.

Erestor frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I think you know what I mean."

Haldir watched as Erestor studied him critically. "No, I don't think so," said Erestor.

Haldir was slightly annoyed now. "Why not?"

Erestor shrugged. "I don't want to make you feel responsible for me. I can take care of myself. I learned that the hard way."

"What do you mean?"

"Bad things happen. Unless you can learn to adapt, to change, you will never survive. I apologize for disturbing you, Haldir." He smiled and disappeared out of the tent.

Haldir did not see Erestor again for more than millennia.

* * *

Haldir shook his head. He didn't know why he could never completely banish Erestor from his mind. The Erestor he had met in Imladris had been just as little in control as the Erestor he had known during the Last Alliance. Haldir had just wanted to take care of Erestor, to make sure there was always a smile on his face, to make Erestor happy. 

He knew now that Celeborn had been an Erestor substitute. There was lust between them, and a small degree of attraction, but not much more than that. Haldir knew that a relationship with Celeborn was unworkable. And it was best just to face that now, rather than trying to hang onto a dying, painful relationship. It was just more practical.

Elrond hadn't felt this alive in a very long time. Many people were afraid, but he wasn't. He knew that he wasn't afraid of anything, especially not this pathetic band of criminals. If they tried anything, Elrond knew that he could easily crush them. That really helped to keep him calm.

What also kept him calm was the thought that he would soon get Elrohir back. He could tell that Elladan wanted to help, too, and that pleased him. With Elladan, Glorfindel, and himself fighting, there would be very few elves that could overcome all three of them, if there indeed were any. Erestor the traitorous part of his mind thought. Elrond wasn't sure if Erestor would have been able to or not, but it would be close. But Erestor was long dead and so there wasn't anything he could do about that.

"Are we ready?" asked Elladan, appearing at the doorway.

Elrond smiled at his son. His son had never been in battle before, not really. Not that this was going to be a battle, but, gods willing, it would be the biggest one that his son would have to fight. A little nervousness was to be expected. "We're going to destroy them. We are better than they are."

"What about the elf that attacked me?"

"That was one elf. And there is Glorfindel and myself here. Both of us are better with a sword than you are and I doubt that this elf is better than us." Elrond shrugged. "But I really don't think that it's going to be a big problem."

Elladan nodded. "What if one of us gets killed?"

Elrond smiled, but he couldn't help but acknowledge that there was a small chance that it could happen. "I don't plan on dying, Elladan, but if I do, then you are Lord of Imladris. If Glorfindel dies…well, I shall be upset, but Imladris will survive. And if you die, I don't think that you will be in any position to care."

Elladan smiled. His father could talk about this so casually because he had actually done this sort of thing before. But to Elladan, this was a deadly serious matter. "I'm not kidding."

Elrond smiled again, but the smile was more subdued this time. "Neither am I, Elladan."

* * *

Legolas rode into the courtyard, a subdued smile on his face. He would never get tired of Imladris's beauty, but the thought that it might become a battleground was slightly upsetting. He had to come here one last time, even though he wasn't strictly supposed to. But it was just in case everything went hideously wrong that he wanted to have one good last memory of this place. 

He didn't actually look much like himself. His hair had been cut to shoulder length and had been dyed a rich brown. A dye had darkened his skin as well. Legolas was surprised at how much of a difference just those two things could make. He knew that he wouldn't recognize himself at this point.

He turned on his horse and rode away. He had work to do. The fresh breeze helped him to clear his mind as he began to search Imladris. He knew that it technically shouldn't be all that hard to find this rebel group, as they were more than likely very amateur-ish. And, as he had thought, there were hand-made signs on nearly every street-corner. Legolas smiled to himself. This would be so easy to get rid of that it would be ridiculous.

Five hours later, he was in amongst the supporters of the as-yet unnamed group. They seemed mostly of low-class, very uneducated. Legolas doubted that even a quarter of them could handle a sword if their lives depended on it. And that would only make it easier for Elrond and his warriors to destroy them. But it would also make it harder for Legolas to blend in. He had grown up as a member of the upper class and so had the manners and attitudes of such. And if he wasn't careful, that might get him killed.

* * *

In Elrohir's opinion, all the elves that Belegtur had found were useless incompetents. They would never be able to work under Elrond. But every time he found himself thinking this, he forced himself to stop. These elves were just as good as him, he would tell himself, and they did not deserve to have these kinds of things happen to him. It got hard to convince himself sometimes; but at least he was trying. 

Belegtur came in to see him at just after sunset. He seemed tired, as always, though what he spent his days doing had never been revealed to Elrohir. "You've been doing well," he said.

"Thank you."

"We're starting our attack tomorrow night."

Elrohir swallowed hard. "Do you really mean to do this?"

"Yes."

"You really want to kill other elves?"

"Yes. I have to. It's the only way that I'll ever get my message across…"

"No, it isn't! You know by now that I can go back to my father and mediate a peaceful resolution…"

"All you fancy elves with all your fancy talk don't know anything. Some things can't be solved with words. What would your talking to your father do? It might start to solve the problem for a little while…just until your father thought that our revolutionary ideas had been quelled. And then it would all start again."

"You mean to kill my family."

"That can't be helped, princeling."

"So why not me?"

"Because we need you here, princeling. And, if worst comes to worst, and we fail, we have you as a hostage. Trust me, princeling, we thought this out. We are not idiots. We just lack noble birth."

"Why do you never call me by my name?"

"Because you people would never call me by mine." Belegtur shook his head. "I can't see what it is that you feel is so wrong with our actions. We are only doing what needs to be doing, for progress."

"This isn't progress."

"If you can't see that it is, princeling, then you will never understand why any of us here do what we do. Perhaps it is because you are of higher birth than us. But I think it more likely that it is because you don't want to think that everyone is born equal, truly."

Elrohir frowned at this declaration. Some part of him wanted to agree with it, but another part didn't. It had always been made clear to him that he was better than some, and he was having a hard time dispelling this notion. "I do understand…Belegtur," he said, emphasizing the others name, hoping that this would, in some way, ingratiate him a little with Belegtur.

Belegtur seemed to take no notice of this diplomatic step and just shrugged. "I doubt you do, princeling. And that is why you won't be fighting tomorrow. I can't trust you not to turn traitor and kill us all. But make sure they are all ready to fight tomorrow." He shook his head and walked out of the room.

Elrohir frowned to himself. His whole world had disintegrated and there seemed to be nothing he could do to stop it. And above all, he felt so alone. None here talked to him, and the new ideas that Belegtur had planted in his mind made him feel isolated from his family. He was just so confused and didn't know which way to turn.

* * *

A million thoughts were competing for Haldir's attention as he spurred his horse on. Usually, when he was riding, he could dismiss whatever worries were impeding most upon him, but it seemed that this was not one of those times. Memories of happy times spent with Celeborn, memories of Erestor, memories of everything and everyone he had ever loved or cared about rising to the surface; not one by one, but in a cluttered mess that Haldir would not have been able to disentangle even if he had wanted to. 

He had so hoped at the time that Celeborn had wanted to make up for everything, but now he was glad that Celeborn hadn't. He was riding off to war now, and there was no time for romance or love in the middle of a war. Whatever the old stories and poems said, romance and love just distracted one from the real work of fighting. Lust was fine for the battlefield, and that Haldir knew well, but love just made things complicated.

He had come to realize, over the past day or so, ever since he had left Lorien, that he didn't care whether this war was won or lost. He didn't even really care if he died or not. Ever since Erestor had been killed, it had just seemed that he was gliding along, unconnected to everyone and everything. Looking back, he could not find any memory that rivaled any of the times he had shared with Erestor. Erestor had been the only elf that had made him feel complete.

Now, if Erestor were alive and fighting in this war, then Haldir would really have reason to be doing this. Erestor would likely be a target for the rebels, though in reality, he was just like one of them, only he had worked (and slept) his way up. Erestor was someone worth fighting for. But Elrond was not. Elrond, though his temper over what had happened to Erestor had mellowed some, was still not someone that Haldir enjoyed visits with.

He spurred the horse on faster. He hoped that the speed would help him clear his mind. Only it made it worse. Now Erestor's face appeared in front of him, smiling a little in that sad way of his. Haldir closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he saw Celeborn with his happy-go-lucky expression that he always tried to maintain. He closed his eyes again. This time, it was Elrond that he saw. Only it wasn't the Elrond that Haldir had come to hate. It was the Elrond that he had fought side by side with in the Last Alliance, the Elrond that he had been proud to call a friend.

Now, in a sudden flash of insight, Haldir realized that none of what had happened mattered at all. None of his fights with Elrond or Celeborn or even Erestor really mattered. It was all irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. What mattered most were friends, and love, not hatred and fighting. What mattered were the things that you would die for, the things that you would kill for, not those that you would kill. Haldir was surprised by these thoughts. As a warrior, he did not often pause to speculate what would happen or the consequences of his actions, let alone philosophy. But he knew now that what he was thinking was the truth.

It didn't matter that he had hated Elrond for however many centuries it had been, it mattered that he and Elrond had fought side by side in the past and had celebrated the same victories and mourned the same losses. It didn't matter that Erestor had been killed unjustly, it mattered that Haldir had had the time with Erestor at all, and that he had made the best of the time they had had. It didn't matter that he did not care for the future of Imladris, it did matter that there was no way that he could allow such a place of beauty to be destroyed.

Now he found, to his surprise, that all his confusion and madness had disappeared. He now only felt a pure sense of clarity, a feeling he had not felt in so long that he almost didn't know what it was that he was feeling. He smiled to himself. The whole world made sense to him now, and he was saner than he had ever been before. Now he knew what mattered in life and now he could do what he knew was right and not be upset at whatever price it might demand of him. Up to and including his own life. That was simply just the way things went; who was he to judge the master plan of higher beings than himself?


	10. Elven Hearts Part 2

Chapter 10  
Notes: Review??

* * *

Elrond had given them all express orders not to kill any of the elves they were fighting. Whatever else, Elrond did not condone kinslaying, and would do nearly anything to prevent any elves' death being his own fault. It was around midday when he realized how high-minded his policy was. He had passed at least a dozen dead Imladris warriors in the past hour, and knew that his foes had no qualms about kinslaying. So he passed on the word to all he passed, as much as it pained him, to kill if necessary.

Apart from that, though, he had never felt quite so alive. Killing was something he knew he was good at, though he did not like it. He much preferred to be renowned for ability to help, not to harm, but one did only what one could. Glorfindel was better than he was, and the two were a veritable whirlwind in the battle. Elrond also noticed in passing that Elladan was well on his way to becoming as skilled as himself or Glorfindel. If this fight lasted long, Elladan could become enough of a master to really be able to defend himself.

The day was long, longer than any Elrond had experienced in a long time. He had a routine that he had built up over centuries, and it was rare for him to break that ritual. Now he had. The two sides fought well into the night, and it was only after the leader of the other side (Elrond had no idea who it was, but he guessed that he was still alive, as the rebels still seemed to have some organization) seemed to realize this that they pulled back. Elrond's warriors followed them for a little while, but Elrond called them back. For his warriors to chase the rebels would invite only more death. Maybe with the results of today, they would give up and tomorrow they could start rebuilding and forgetting.

Glorfindel came up to him and pulled him close. Elrond smelled like blood, but Glorfindel didn't really care right now. All that mattered was that Elrond had survived. "Good to see you're still here," he murmured as light-heartedly as he could.

"I know," replied Elrond. He pulled away from the taller elf, and looked down at the ground. Even though it was dark, he could tell that the liquid that was turning the dirt into mud was not water. That dimmed whatever smile Elrond might have managed. "It's been a long day, and I'm tired like I haven't been in a long time…let's go to bed."

Glorfindel nodded. "I can't think of anything better right now. But…have you seen Elladan recently?"

"How recently?"

"Well, I haven't seen him in a couple of hours. We should probably make sure that he's fine first."

A spike of fear pierced Elrond's heart. "Yes, of course." Though he knew that such a search could take a very long time. It was pitch-black outside and there was many elves milling around. And it was loud enough that just shouting out his name would get them nowhere. So they began to push their way through the crowd, each searching the faces around them and the bodies at their feet.

"Father?" came a voice from behind.

Elrond turned and saw Elladan. He was dirty and tired and had a long bloody scratch down the side of his face, but he was alive. Elrond threw his arms around his son. "Elladan, you have no idea how glad I am to be alive."

"Father," said Elladan in a scared voice, "how long is this going to last?"

"I don't know." He pulled away from Elladan and looked clinically at the scratch down his son's face. It wasn't all that deep, but it was bleeding quite a bit and could easily be infected under such conditions as these. But he was too tired to be able to do anything about. "Go to the healers to see about your face. I'm too tired right now."

Elladan nodded, and hugged his father again. On impulse, he then proceeded to hug Glorfindel. Then he looked at both of them and said, "I'll see you in the morning. But I think that tomorrow will be much the same as today."

Elrond hated to admit it, but he knew that his son was probably right.

* * *

Elrohir hadn't gone out to fight, as Belegtur had ordered. But he had been the one to set up their camp just a few hundred meters from the Last Homely House. He saw all the elves as they came in, somehow hoping that Belegtur had been killed. He knew that if that happened, he would be able to escape.

But then he saw the elf. Belegtur walked over to him. "Princeling, today we struck a mighty blow against your father."

"I don't believe you," said Elrohir honestly. They had been fighting too long and too many elves had not come back for that to be true. "I think you will lose. But I believe that if you offer to surrender now, my father…"

Belegtur struck Elrohir hard across the face. Elrohir staggered beneath the blow. "Have you learned nothing here, princeling? Your father hates us, and he will never treat with us. We have long learned to accept it, and when we are finished with you, you will learn as well."

"I will not allow you to kill my family." About some things, Elrohir had to remain strong. "I love them. I would do anything for them. Just as you would do anything for your family. Could you kill those you love?"

"Those I love are not hypocritical scum!"

"And neither is my father!"

"Shut up, princeling." Belegtur's voice was low and dangerous. "Do not speak about what you do not know. I have killed elves today. Now, you have some healing skills, yes?"

Elrohir couldn't help but nod. "Yes."

"Then get to work on my elves. They need your help."

Elrohir couldn't say what he truly felt. What he really felt was that there was no way that he could help these elves because they were fighting against his father. What he truly felt was that all of these elves should simply be struck dead right now. What he felt right now was that he would rather kill himself than help these elves. But he couldn't say any of that, and so simply said, "Fine."

* * *

Elrond collapsed down onto his bed and closed his eyes. A few seconds later, he felt gentle hands remove his boots. He would have thanked Glorfindel, but frankly, he was too tired to do so. Moments after his boots were moved, the hands had moved to his waist, to remove his pants. Elrond allowed Glorfindel to do this as well, and also to remove his shirt.

A minute or so later, Elrond felt Glorfindel sit on the bed. "Sit up, meleth," said Glorfindel softly.

"I'm not sure I can."

"Please."

Elrond pulled himself up to a sitting position. One of Glorfindel's strong arms folded around his waist and pulled him backwards. Elrond couldn't have stopped Glorfindel even had he wanted to. Then Glorfindel's more than capable hands began to massage the tension out of Elrond's shoulders and back.

"I love you," said Elrond softly. "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone." But, as ever, that traitorous thought crept into his mind. Except Erestor.

"I know. I was scared today, Elrond. Not that I would die. Not that those bastards out there would win. But that I would lose you. I don't think I could bear to do that. You are so precious to me, Elrond. I would do anything for you."

"Would you now?" Elrond squirmed out of Glorfindel's grasp and pinned Glorfindel down.

"I thought you were tired," said Glorfindel uncomplainingly as gentle kisses made their way down his cheek and down his throat. Glorfindel had already removed his clothes, seeing them as nothing but a menace in bed.

Elrond paused long enough to say, "Do you want me to stop?"

Glorfindel shook his head and lay back, enjoying the fact that he had a lover and that there was someone to go back to after the battle was over. "Elrond, do you think that you could do me a huge favor?"

Elrond looked up, smiling. He moved up to curl beside Glorfindel. "That would honestly depend on what said favor was."

"Bond with me."

Elrond moved a little away from Glorfindel. "What?"

Glorfindel pulled Elrond back over and kissed him, rolling on top of him. Taking both of Elrond's wrists in his own, he pinned Elrond's arms above his head. Elrond tried to squirm out of this, but both of them knew two things; that Glorfindel was stronger, and that Elrond liked this.

"Bond with me."

"Glorfindel, that's…"

"We have been together for centuries, meleth. I can't see why you would want anything but to bond with me…unless there's someone else. But I think that I would know about this other someone."

The real reason was that, for some reason, Elrond still resented Glorfindel a little for driving Erestor away and ultimately being the cause of his death. And that he wasn't entirely sure that Glorfindel was completely faithful. But Elrond had no proof of this, so he never brought it up. None of those reasons, though, were ones that Elrond could give to Glorfindel. "I'm the ruler of Imladris…"

Glorfindel raised his other hand. He held his hand in a fist, and then stuck his first finger up. "One, everyone already knows that we're together. We never made a secret of it." Another finger went up. Two, you've already bonded once, and you have heirs. That's not of consequence anymore." And now a third finger. "Three, I'm sick and tired of this lack of commitment. I went through that with Erestor and I refuse to sit through the same thing with you. I love you and I want to make this real."

"That's fine, Glorfindel. I love you. You know that. But I bonded with Celebrán only because I had to. Celeborn and Galadriel forced me to. Before that…maybe I'm just not the type that likes to bond."

"You have never felt strongly enough about anyone to commit to them? And I'm not just talking about me now. I know you've had lovers in the past. You never loved any of them?"

No. I've been obsessed with Erestor ever since I met him. All my lovers were inconsequential. "I have never loved them enough to want to bond with them." A long pause. "Glorfindel, do we have to talk about this right now? I'm tired and so are you. I don't want to have to make a decision like this when I'm under such an extraordinary amount of stress."

Glorfindel sighed and rolled off of Elrond. He lay down facing away from Elrond, and he inched away every time that Elrond attempted to get close. Elrond finally gave up and retreated to the other side of the bed. He wished that Glorfindel wouldn't be so difficult about this. They had just had one of (in Elrond's mind) the most important battles since those of the Last Alliance. And all Glorfindel could think of was to ask a question of such monumental importance? Glorfindel could be like that sometimes. It was, Elrond admitted, one of the reasons that Elrond knew he could never devote his whole heart to this elf that had shared his bed for more than a millennia. Glorfindel was just too different in such miniscule ways from him that it always seemed that some tiny piece was missing. If that piece was filled, then the two of them would complete each other. But that was missing, and Elrond knew that he couldn't be bonded to someone that he wouldn't be complete with. With Celebrán, Elrond had found this out. It had been, essentially, an arranged bonding, and while they both kept up a good façade, it was a tumultuous relationship. They were friends before the bonding, but the intimacy that bonding created drove a wedge between them. They had managed to keep these tensions away from the children, but Glorfindel had known they existed all along. It was, in a horrible way, almost a relief when Celebrán sailed to Valinor. It meant that Elrond could finally stop pretending. So why would Glorfindel try to press this issue with him right now?

Elrond forced himself to stop thinking these things. He had to be ready to fight tomorrow and that meant that he would have to get some sleep. So he cleared his mind of his problems and fell asleep. The image that he saw right before he drifted to sleep was Erestor's face.

* * *

Elladan woke to the sounds of swords clashing. Immediately, he opened his eyes and reached beside him to take his sword. But it was dark outside and there were none of the other sounds of battle; no screams of dying men, no triumphant shouts of those who lived, and the stench of death wasn't quite as thick anymore. So he looked around for the sounds, and saw a slender, dark-haired elf in the corner apparently teaching a younger elf some combat moves. The older elf had warrior braids, but was dressed in common clothes, not even Imladris colors.

Elladan must have made some noise as he sat up, for the elf looked at him with warm eyes and smiled. "I'm sorry if I woke you, Master Elladan. It was not my intent."

Elladan shook his head. Something about this elf was immediately extremely attractive to him, even though he could tell that the elf was at least decently old, if not quite as old as his father or Glorfindel. "No, it's fine. Keep going. I want to watch."

The elf shrugged. "As you wish, Master Elladan." He turned back to his pupil. "Again." They went through the same motions as before, and Elladan could tell that the older elf was very skilled. The two practiced for a little while longer, and then the older told the other to go back to bed. He walked over to Elladan then.

"What's your name?" asked Elladan.

"Dùlith," said the elf, sitting down on the edge of Elladan's bed.

"Where do you call home? Lorien? Mirkwood?"

"I do not live in any elven realm. I am a farmer, I live near Imladris."

"Then how did you come by such skills with a sword?"

Dùlith smiled. "I fought in the Last Alliance. After that, I wanted to hang up my sword, so to speak. So I have been a farmer since then. But Lord Elrond has kept me reasonably safe despite the fact that I do not actually live in Imladris, so I figured that this was the least I could do in repayment."

Elladan was a little disappointed. Dùlith was much older than him. He had felt an inexplicable attraction to him and now wasn't sure why. He generally didn't fall for older elves. "Do you think that you could show me some of those moves?"

Dùlith smiled more broadly. "Certainly, Master Elladan. But surely your father and Lord Glorfindel have passed on their knowledge to you. I can assure you that their skills far surpass my own."

"Yeah, but I've known them forever. And they're always…it's like they're always holding something back from me."

"I see. Then get up, Master Elladan."

"You can call me Elladan, you know. Everyone else does." Elladan was somehow disturbed and slightly upset at the elf's insistence on formality. But he got up anyhow and took out his sword.

"That is a beautiful weapon, Master Elladan. Did it once belong to Lord Elrond?"

Elladan frowned. As a matter of fact, it had. It had been one of his father's prize possessions, and Elladan had seen the pain in his father's face when Elladan asked for it as a gift in order for clearing a particularly vicious orc patrol. But his father had gifted it to him anyway. "Yes, it did. How did you know?"

"I have heard stories. Do you know it's name?"

"No, my father never told me. What is it called?"

"Meldîn."

Elladan frowned as he translated that. "Meldîn? Silent Love? _Author's note: hope I translated that right._ Where would it get a name like that?"

Dùlith shrugged. "That is just what it is called. I did not name it. You carry a sword of greatness, Master Elladan. Let us see if you can use it as such." Dùlith held up his own sword. It was well-worn, but it looked cared for.

They stepped away from the bed and Dùlith made the first strike, one that cut into Elladan's unprotected right arm. Elladan nearly dropped his sword and danced back. "What was that?"

"Be careful, Master Elladan. You must always be on your toes. An enemy will not always tell you when they are about to attack. Now, let us fight."

Elladan was angry now. Not exactly angry at Dùlith, it was more like the pain drove him. He backed Dùlith against the wall. "Maybe you're not so good as you looked before."

Dùlith smiled and turned the fight around with a deft move so quick that Elladan didn't know what happened to him until he had his back to a wall with Dùlith's swordpoint at his throat. Dùlith backed down. "Yes, I am. But you should get some sleep, Master Elladan. There will be enough time for fighting once the day breaks."

* * *

Haldir rode into Imladris just after dawn at the head of a force of two hundred warriors. The stench was almost overpowering. Haldir had not smelled this much death in millennia and it saddened him more than he could say. The land around the Last Homely House looked like a battlefield. The ground was torn up and the blood had soaked into everything. Most of the bodies still lay where they fell, and already Haldir saw elves he knew. His breath caught in his throat and he closed his eyes, mumbling a prayer for the dead. Then he rode into the courtyard and dismounted. Knowing that niceties were not as important right now, he did not wait for anyone to come and greet him. He entered and went immediately to Elrond's room, where he found both Elrond and Glorfindel nearly dressed for battle.

Elrond turned as Haldir entered. A look of hate flashed briefly before his eyes, but it mellowed quickly. "Did Celeborn send you?"

"Yes, Elrond. It's a bloody mess out there. Have you seen it?"

"I was fighting in it."

Haldir nodded. "I've brought two hundred warriors."

Elrond smiled. "Good. We'll need every sword we can get. These rebels, they're a lot more talented than I thought they would be. We'll win, but there's no telling how long it's going to take or how many of mine must die. I just want this to be over, Haldir."

"I know. I am glad to be able to fight at your side, Elrond. It's time for us to put those old hates behind us. This has to make both of see how pointless they are. Erestor has been dead for centuries, there's no reason for us to still be angry with each other over that."

Elrond nodded. "Yes, you're right. I'm sorry, my friend."

"No need for apologies. It's time to go fight."

Elrond's smile faded. "Yes, it is."

* * *

Elrohir watched as the elves began to dress for battle. He wished that he could stop them, he wished that he could make sure that no more had to die. It hurt him deeply to know that there was such a kinslaying occurring, and that he had helped to heal those who had instigated the fight. He knew that there would be no forgiveness for him when this was all over. Everyone, even if they didn't say it, would view him as having helped the enemy of his own will, and all would shun him. It was a good thing that Elladan was Elrond's heir, for Imladris would never accept him.

"Princeling," said Belegtur, walking over to him.

"Yes?"

"Get ready to go out there."

"You want me to fight?"

"No, princeling. I want you to haul away our dead. They will not rot where they fell. I would not ask you to fight. I know you would not stay loyal."

"I'm not going out there."

Belegtur pulled out his sword. "You will, princeling, or I will kill you right now, right here."

"I am the only healer you have. To send me out there would be a death sentence. You and I both know that. You would be a fool to do this when you know that if I die, there will no longer be anyone to help you when you get hurt." Elrohir hated to play that card, but it was seriously his only option.

Belegtur nodded. He could see the sense in that. He touched his sword lightly against Elrohir's throat, letting him feel the metal graze lightly against the skin. "Princeling, I am only keeping you alive for the things you can do for my companions. As soon as you cease to be useful, I will not hesitate to kill you. I think it's just important that you know that."

Elrohir swallowed hard, and nodded. "Of course." He looked Belegtur over, and tried to think of a way to ingratiate himself with the elf. "Could I help you with your armor?"

Belegtur's eyes narrowed in suspicion of treachery. "I suppose. Come with me."

Elrohir followed Belegtur, hating himself for wanting to help this evil, hating himself for not just killing Belegtur, hating himself for not just killing himself.

* * *

Glorfindel heard footsteps rushing down the hall and instinctively drew his sword. But it was just Elladan. "Good morning, Elladan," he said. After an almost invisible glance to make sure that no one, especially Elrond or Haldir, was around, he kissed Elladan lightly, quickly.

"Where's my father?"

"With Haldir. They will be here shortly."

As if on cue, the two appeared. Elrond saw Elladan and looked his face over. There would be a slight scar, but that would fade with time. "Good morning, Elladan."

"Why did you never tell me the sword had a name?"

Elrond looked momentarily confused (such an expression was extremely rare), and asked, "Which sword?"

Elladan drew his sword. "Meldîn. Why did you never tell me?"

Elrond's gaze locked with Glorfindel's for a moment. Glorfindel shook his head slightly, almost imperceptibly; he had not been the one to tell Elladan. "Where did you hear that from?" Elrond asked, trying desperately hard not to sound too agitated.

"An elf told me last night. He said that there were stories about it."

"A few," admitted Elrond.

"So why didn't you tell me?"

"Must have slipped my mind. Now, I'm sure there are more important things we should be doing than discussing the name of your sword. We should be out there, preparing for battle." A momentary pause. "Coincidentally, who was this elf?"

Elladan's face screwed up in concentration as he tried to remember the name. "I think…he said his name was Dùlith."

Elrond frowned, trying to recall any he knew of that name. None came to mind. He promptly dismissed the thought; he had not dwelled on this sword's name for a long time. He had named it after Erestor, and had eventually told Erestor about it. Erestor had been amused at the time, Elrond recalled, and had even given him a quick kiss for it. Elrond smiled fondly at that sudden memory. Then he cleared his mind; fighting was the thing to do now, not think about times past. There would be time for that after the fighting was over. "Let's go out there and fight, then."

Elladan nodded. "I have to go, then. There's some friends I promised to see before the fight begins today."

Elrond nodded, and watched his son run off. He swallowed hard and looked at Haldir and Glorfindel, forcing a brief smile.

"Meldîn," said Haldir thoughtfully. "That was your sword during the Last Alliance, wasn't it?"

Elrond nodded. "Yes."

"Why did you give it to Elladan?"

Elladan, who had remained deliberately out of sight but still in hearing distance, waited for the answer.

"I had to forget Erestor."

Elladan frowned now. Who was Erestor? Elladan had never heard his name before. But had he been a lover of his father's? He somehow couldn't see his father being with anyone other than Celebrán or Glorfindel. This was something he was going to have to investigate further.


	11. Elven Hearts Part 2

Title: Elven Hearts Part 11?  
Author: Anonymous slashlover  
Notes: Please please please review it. please. please.

* * *

And so the second day of battle began. Both sides appeared to be more restrained. Both had lost at least half of their numbers the previous day and there were a lot less elves to fight. Elrond and his warriors pursued a more aggressive strategy than the previous day and Belegtur and his force were much more defensive. This spurred Elrond on, and he fought harder.

He couldn't get Erestor out of his mind today. He couldn't help but remember all the times they had spent together. He supposed it was because of the sword. That made Elrond think of the time that he had given the sword its name.

It was near the end of the fighting, though none of them knew that at the time. The tide had turned, but no one was sure how much longer it was going to last, Elrond among them. He knew that he was no longer in control of the course of the war. That was Erestor's domain. Erestor typically visited him every evening, and they would talk well into the night. Elrond had been trying to work up the courage to ask Erestor to spend the night, but the aloofness that Erestor radiated seemed to imply that he wanted to be alone.

_Erestor walked in that night. His shirt was open, as it was warm outside, and it showed off the clearly-defined muscles of his chest and abdomen. It made Elrond hard just to see him like that. "Good evening, my lord."_

_"Evening, Erestor. So, is there to be a battle tomorrow?"_

_Erestor smiled. "No. I'm tired, and I need to sleep. So there's going to be no fighting until I am back in the mood."_

_"And do our foes know this plan of yours?"_

_The smile broadened. "I'm afraid not."_

_Elrond melted like butter at that smile. Erestor, he knew, was the most beautiful elf in the world. His dark hair was like silk, his skin smooth and unlined. Elrond couldn't think of a gem in all of Arda that he would want more than Erestor. Nothing could compare. "So there may indeed by a battle?"_

_"I am not a god, my lord."_

_You are to me. Elrond got up to start a small fire. It was not cold, but it would soon be dark, and if it was dark, Elrond wouldn't be able to look upon Erestor's face. As the fire caught, the metal of his sword gleamed brilliantly, looking for an instant like Erestor's smile. It was at that moment that Elrond decided upon the name for the sword that he had had forged before he had set out from Imladris. The only name that could capture the beauty that he had seen in that sword was Erestor's. But a sword could not carry a name like that, so Elrond would have to think on a secret name for it that would keep his heartache secret._

Elrond smiled, and he closed his eyes for a second in remembrance. That second proved to be a terrible mistake. Belegtur saw Elrond and grinned to himself. Raising his sword, he landed a powerful blow to Elrond's upper back. Elrond's eyes flew open and his view was dimmed by agony. Having lost feeling throughout his body, he fell off his horse and landed hard on the ground. His sight started to dim at the edges and he shook his head, trying to overcome the pain. But it was impossible. Right before he passed out, he saw a tall, handsome elf stand above him, a sword in the elf's hand.

Elrond knew he was going to die.

* * *

Haldir was overcome by bloodlust. He didn't know quite how it had happened. One second he had been quite in control of himself, and the next he was just killing left and right. In some back part of his mind, he knew he would hate himself for this later, but all he could imagine in his mind's eye right now was that all of these elves had somehow been responsible for Erestor's death. Seeing that old sword this morning had driven that home and now Haldir could think of nothing else.

A hand came to rest firmly on his shoulder. He swung around, his sword slicing around in a deadly arc. Another sword pushed the strike back. It was Glorfindel. "You've done enough for today," he said loudly, so as to be heard over the general clamor of the battle.

"You know nothing, murderer."

"Haldir, go to the healers. You're bleeding badly."

Haldir looked at his arm and saw, for the first time, a deep bloody gash running down most of his arm. For the life of him, he couldn't remember how it had gotten there. His rage faded as the pain set in. "Yes, Glorfindel," he said meekly.

"I'll take you there, to make sure that's where you go," said Glorfindel. He began to lead Haldir away from the center of the battle, swatting aside the occasional elf. Finally, they got outside of the battle and made their way to the healer's tents. Glorfindel left Haldir in the more than capable hands of a healer and headed back into the fray. He had to fight, they all had to fight. But Haldir would have gotten himself killed if Glorfindel had allowed him to stay. And as much as Glorfindel harbored a little resentment towards Haldir, what Haldir had said this morning was true. They couldn't let such petty quarrels divide them when they were faced with such a monumental crisis as this.

* * *

Elladan was nearly killed by a chance blow from an elf much stronger than him. He struggled under the crushing weight of the sword. Suddenly, the weight became nothing. Elladan frowned until he saw Dùlith standing behind the now-dead elf, his sword dripping fresh blood. "Be more careful, Master Elladan. You are the heir to Imladris."

"I can take care of myself."

"I'm sure you can, Master Elladan. But I'll still be here to watch your back." And then Dùlith disappeared again into the mass of elves.

Elladan smiled. This was definitely an elf he liked a lot. He would have to find some way to convince Dùlith to stay here after the battle was over. Elladan was morbidly sure that he would get on wonderfully with Elrond and Glorfindel, and the three would find endless incredibly boring things to discuss with each other. Elladan was sure that when not fighting, Dùlith would be just as boring as his father and Glorfindel. But that didn't mean that Elladan wasn't attracted to him.

He darted back into the fight as well. The sounds and sights and smells overwhelmed him for an instant until he could manage to clear his mind. He was jostled on every side by elves and it was, at times, hard to tell what side some elves were on. Elladan was certain that many elves died at the hands of those on their side, as it would be impossible for it to not happen. He shut his mind down as much as he could and began to kill methodically. He was certain that future generations would condemn Elrond and all of his kin for involving themselves in this, but Elladan saw it as a matter of survival. He would rather be a disgraced, living elf, than an honorable dead one.

So caught up on trying his best to notice nothing, he almost didn't realize who lay at his feet for nearly five minutes. Finally, his gaze turned to the elf at his feet. The elf was wearing Imladris colors, albeit stained so thoroughly with blood that they did not appear to be those of Imladris any longer. The dark hair was matted with blood. A terrible gash ran down the center of the elf's chest. The eyes were dull and unfocused, staring silently into nothingness.

Elladan dropped to his knees, his eyes becoming blurry with tears. "Father," he cried softly, reaching over to gently push the eyelids over those horrible dead eyes. "Father."

* * *

Celeborn was accustomed to things going wrong. He had lived a very long life and knew that it was better to be worried if nothing went wrong. Those were the troubling circumstances. He had dealt with all manner of terrible crises before, and through them all, no matter how emotional he ended up getting over them, Galadriel always stayed calm. She was the perfect balance for him. She was always calm, so much so that he was sometimes afraid of her.

And that was why he was terrified beyond measure when he heard Galadriel weeping. He had never seen her cry before and couldn't imagine, didn't want to imagine, what would send her into such despair. Hesitant to disturb her, but knowing that it was his duty as her bonded mate to comfort her, he walked softly into the room. "Meleth? What is it?"

Galadriel composed herself as much as she could, which, she had to admit, was woefully little. "It's Elrond."

"Gods, what's happened to him?"

"I don't know. He called out to me a little while ago. There were no words, I could tell he wasn't strong enough for words. It lasted only an instant, but such pain…I hope that I shall never have to feel as he did. And then the connection died. I haven't been able to get back in touch with him, as hard as I try. And you can farspeak even through unconsciousness. Elrond has to be dead."

Celeborn was astounded. Elrond had shown every sign of being a famous elf that, for once, would live to a ripe old age. Most of the other heroes he had known had died relatively young, in battle. Now it appeared that Elrond had joined their number. Celeborn wondered if Imladris could still beat back this insurrection without Elrond. It would certainly be a lot harder. And who would rule Imladris afterwards? Elladan was very young, much younger than Elrond had been. And the thought of Glorfindel taking power repulsed him. Dammit, Elrond, why did you have to go and die? Out loud, he said, "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know," said Galadriel. She didn't say that very often, and when she said it, she really had no idea at all.

"We can't let Glorfindel take over."

"Elladan is too young to rule."

"What if Elladan and Elrohir rule jointly?"

"Elrohir is probably dead."

"Then what if Haldir watches over Elladan?"

"Imladris will accuse us of trying to take over."

"Well we need to find someone." Celeborn paused. "It's times like this that I wish that Erestor hadn't died. He could have watched over Elladan."

Galadriel smiled sadly. "Elrond wouldn't be dead if Erestor was alive. We both know that Erestor would have sacrificed himself for Elrond."

"Yes, I know."

"Imladris is going to fall apart without Elrond."

A very sad smile. "I know that, too."

* * *

Glorfindel saw Elladan sobbing and raced over. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"My father…he's dead…"

"What?" Glorfindel felt a wave of shock pass over him. "How…how do you know?"

"I saw him." Elladan collapsed down onto the ground, rocking slightly back and forth. "I saw him, he's dead, he's dead."

"Shh," said Glorfindel, dropping down to the ground gracefully to pull Elladan into his arms. "Shh." He was having to try very hard, though, not to cry himself. What he wanted was to go and see the elf Elladan was talking about. He wanted to see that it somehow was not Elrond, that Elrond was still out there and that he was not dead. "But I need to see him."

Elladan rose unsteadily back up. Glorfindel wrapped a paternal arm around Elladan. They began to walk. Elladan seemed to know exactly where he was going, and when he reached the spot, he dropped down to his knees. "Father," he cried softly. "Father."

Glorfindel started to lose control. He went to the ground, too, running his hand through Elrond's hair, over Elrond's cheek, swallowing back the sobs that he knew were going to come soon. "Elrond, meleth," he murmured. "You can't be dead. You promised me."

Elladan took Glorfindel's hand. "Why, can you tell me that? Why did he deserve to die?"

"No one deserves to die, Elladan. No one."

Elladan nodded. "Is there…nothing we can do?"

"I think he's too far gone, Elladan. If we wanted…someone could try bonding with him. That might bring him back, though I wouldn't hold out any hope."

"You have to try, Glorfindel. You have to. I don't care if it's too late, you have to try."

Glorfindel closed his eyes. Don't you know, Elladan, that if I try and fail, I will be dragged along with Elrond to the Halls of Waiting? I have been there once already and I have no desire to go back. If it is too late, I am killing myself pointlessly. Out loud, he said, "If you would really like me to try, I will."

"Yes, I would."

"Then we must get the two of us somewhere we can be alone. This could take a while." But what about fighting? Elrond and I were the best ones out there. What will happen without both of us? "Elladan, I need you to take control of our army. Don't tell them what happened to your father. Not until we have everything figured out."

Elladan knew that he had to be in control now. He had to restrain himself and act like nothing was wrong. He had seen his father pretend that everything was fine before, and he had been good at it. Elladan was Elrond's son, and he assumed that it just took a little getting used to. "Okay. Why don't you go to your rooms? I'll check up on you two before I go to bed."

Glorfindel nodded, then lifted Elrond's surprisingly light body into his arms. With tears threatening to leave his eyes the entire trip, he finally made it to Elrond's rooms unnoticed. He lay Elrond down on the bed, wishing that he didn't have to take this step. It was so unlikely to work that there was almost no point trying. But he loved Elrond, and he would do anything for Elrond. So he took out his dagger, sliced a line down his palm, barely feeling the pain. He took Elrond's cold hand in his and repeated the action. Then he lay down on the bed, their hands clasped.

The last thing Glorfindel felt was a wave of icy coldness rushing over his body.

* * *

Elladan sensed that everything was descending into chaos. The battle had ended, but it seemed that, in his father's absence, everyone was coming to him and asking him to deal with their problems. Elladan couldn't help but wonder if his father actually dealt with all of this, or just came up with some really good excuse to get everyone to go away. The only thing was that he knew of no such tricks.

"Are you okay?" asked the already-familiar voice from behind.

"No," said Elladan, almost breaking down but forcing himself not to.

Dùlith nodded, then raised his voice and said, "Everyone, out of here now." Elladan was surprised by how authoritative Dùlith sounded. It was the tone of voice of an elf who was listened to and expected to be obeyed. It was surprisingly like Elrond's. Once everyone had left the immediate area, Dùlith put a protective arm around Elladan and led him to a bench to sit down. "What's wrong?"

"My father's dead."

"Lord Elrond is dead?"

"Yes…Glorfindel is trying…to bond with him and bring him back…but I don't think it will work…and I don't want my father to die…Dùlith, I don't want to have to be in charge."

Dùlith folded his arms around the younger elf and held him while he sobbed. "Glorfindel is a very powerful elf. If there is anyone that can bring your father back, it will be him."

"And if he doesn't?"

"Then you will be the Lord of Imladris."

"Will you stay here with me?"

"If Lord Glorfindel does not succeed? If you would like. It has been a long time since I have held any kind of position of power, though…"

"Those elves were listening to you."

"They are leaderless and afraid, Elladan. They need someone to be strong for them. I can't be that figure. I am a nobody. You are Lord Elrond's son. You must do what I cannot. I will help you as much as I can, but you must become the Lord."

* * *

Haldir knew something was wrong. He just wasn't sure what it was. He hadn't seen Elrond or Glorfindel. Fortunately, he had not seen their bodies, either, and for that, he was grateful. He didn't know what Imladris would do if Elrond was killed.

"Haldir," said Elladan.

Haldir turned and saw a very obviously distressed Elladan. The worst kind of thoughts entered his mind. "What is it?"

"It's my father." Elladan was surprised how much of his composure he had regained over the past few hours. It was amazing. "He's dying. Glorfindel is trying…to bond with him…"

"What?" exclaimed Haldir.

"Do you have a problem with that?" asked Elladan curiously. He had always known there had been a good deal of fighting between Haldir and Elrond, though neither had ever told him exactly why.

"No. I'm just surprised." Haldir didn't want to drag Elladan into this ancient fight. Erestor wasn't even around anymore. "Where are they?"

"In my father's room. I was going to visit them now. I wanted to know if you wanted to come with me."

"Yes, I would."

Haldir followed Elladan through the halls. Elladan paused outside the doors. He didn't know whether he wanted to go in or not. He knew it would be quite realistic to believe that both of them were dead; that Glorfindel had followed Elrond into the Halls of Waiting.

Haldir put his hand on Elladan's shoulder. "It'll be okay, Elladan. Whatever happens, it will be okay. You have to believe that."

Elladan nodded shakily and pushed the door open. He saw both figures prone on the bed, their hands clasped. He walked closer and saw that Glorfindel's chest was still rising and falling regularly. With a sigh, he noted that his father's was not. His father was still not breathing. He felt himself sob once, and then Haldir hugged him. "Haldir, I really thought…"

"It isn't over yet, Elladan. It won't be over until both of them are alive or both of them are dead. Lord Glorfindel is still fighting. And he won't give up easily."

Elladan nodded again. "You're right." He walked over to the bed and touched Glorfindel's cheek. It was so cold. "He's so cold," said Elladan.

"He's battling Mandos. He's trying to win back Elrond. I guess that means Glorfindel really does love Elrond."

"He always has."

Haldir chuckled. "As long as you've been alive, yes. But not before that."

Elladan frowned. "What do you mean?" He thought back to what he had heard this morning, an eternity ago. "Does it have anything to do with…Erestor?" He watched with some interest as a shocked expression appeared on Haldir's face.

"Where did you hear about Erestor?"

"I heard someone talk about him."

"Well, he is long dead, and there is no need to bring up the past. Come, Elladan. We should leave your father alone."

"Haldir, tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"Who was Erestor?"

"Just an elf."

* * *

Elrohir knew something had gone horribly wrong when he saw the huge smile on Belegtur's face. He was almost afraid to ask. But he had to know. So he walked over and asked, "What happened?"

"Your father is dead. I killed him myself."

Elrohir managed to contain his emotions only for an instant. Then he physically crumpled. "Why? Why? Tell me why," he sobbed.

Belegtur pulled him up roughly. "Calm down, princeling. Your father was a weak man. He used to be strong, he used to be a hero. No one will deny that. But he became an evil one when he became the Lord of Imladris. He deserved to die. Now you, you would make a much better Lord, wouldn't you?"

"What are you saying?"

"I still intend to kill your brother. But…I could put you in as Lord of Imladris safely. You would do what I said, wouldn't you?"

"You killed my father!"

"Yes, I did. But I told you why I had to. And I know that if it had been some other man, not your father, then I think that you would agree with me."

"But he was my father!"

"Think about it, princeling. I can make you anything you want to be. And I don't ask all that much in return. This could be a great thing for you."

Elrohir bowed his head. "He was my father."


	12. Elven Hearts Part 2

Part 12

Author's Note: If anyone who reads this has any ideas or suggestions for where this story should be heading, I would be more than happy to have your ideas. Because right now, it's just kind of drifting along. Thanks :)

And as always, please review

* * *

Elladan stumbled into the tent and found Dùlith there, a concerned expression on his face. "Come here," said Dùlith. 

Elladan walked over and fell nearly on top of Dùlith.

Dùlith smiled and pushed Elladan slightly off him. "Did you talk to Haldir of Lorien?"

"Yes."

"And how are Lord Elrond and Lord Glorfindel doing?"

"The same as before."

Dùlith arranged himself comfortably on his back and pulled Elladan over, so that Elladan's head was resting on Dùlith's chest. Elladan snuggled up to Dùlith, who placed a fatherly kiss on the top of Elladan's head. "You have to take it one day at a time," he said.

"Nothing will ever be the same."

"You're right. It won't. But you have to focus on the here and now. You have to defeat these rebels and get your brother back. Then you can worry about running Imladris."

Elladan closed his eyes and tried to sleep. It was clear to him, from the way that Dùlith's breathing had not settled into a natural rhythm, that Dùlith was not sleeping, either. "You knew my father, didn't you?"

"Only inasmuch as we were at the same battle."

"Now you're lying to me. You know my father better than that." Elladan attempted to sit up, but Dùlith's arm around his waist prevented that. "Why won't anyone tell me anything about what happened before I was born? Haldir wouldn't, either, and Glorfindel and Father just change the topic. I want to know what happened."

"No, you don't. You would hate your father and Lord Glorfindel and probably Haldir as well by the end of the story."

"I can deal with it. Tell me."

"Maybe later. Go to sleep now." Another gentle kiss.

"You'll make everything better, right?"

Dùlith smiled. "I can try."

* * *

Haldir was sitting in Elrond's room. He had to be there if and when Elrond and Glorfindel woke up. They were two of the few people that really understood him, no matter how much hatred there was between them. He was drifting off to sleep when he heard a moan issued from one of the two. Haldir's eyes shot open and he looked over to the two figures on the bed. He saw Elrond's chest rise once, hesitantly, and then slowly fall. Haldir held his breath until he saw the motion repeated. Over the next few minutes, Elrond's breathing slowly became more regular, though Glorfindel's became shallower and erratic. And then Glorfindel's breathing stopped. Haldir rose to his feet. This didn't look all that normal to him. 

Elrond moaned. His eyes flickered open then closed again. Glorfindel's breathing did not resume. Elrond's hands began to twitch convulsively. Glorfindel showed no signs of life. Elrond fell silent again, and his breathing remained steady, constant. Haldir sat back down. Now he was certain that something had gone really wrong with this process.

"Elrond?" asked Haldir softly. There was no response. Haldir knew he couldn't stay up here all night, that he would have to get some sleep at some point. But he didn't want to leave, he wanted to know what was going to happen.

A gentle knock on the door.

"Come in," called Haldir.

It was Elladan. He looked tired and upset, both of which were to be expected. His eyes immediately flickered to the bed and he saw his father breathing. And then saw that Glorfindel was not. "Wait…aren't they both supposed to live or both to die?"

"In every case I've heard of."

"So why does it look like my father is better and Glorfindel is dead?"

"I couldn't tell you, Elladan."

Elladan nodded. "Do you know how much longer it's going to be?"

"Well, your father regained consciousness for a couple of seconds, but that might have meant nothing. There's no way to tell about this kind of thing. I think that your father will survive, though."

"But not Glorfindel?"

"I don't know. It doesn't look good for him right now."

"You should go to bed, Haldir. You…you are fighting tomorrow, right?" Elladan was horrified of him being the only one to fight tomorrow; without (obviously) his father and Glorfindel, Haldir would be a necessity.

"I think so, Elladan. But you should go back to your rooms and try to sleep as well. You need the sleep more than I do."

"Okay. I think I'll do that." But Elladan had no intentions of going to his rooms. He was going to find Dùlith. He somehow doubted that Dùlith would be persuaded to come to his rooms. He had snuck out of Dùlith's tent about an hour ago, and was fairly sure that he could get back in without Dùlith ever noticing he was gone....

...He was sorely mistaken. Dùlith was sitting up in the tent as Elladan walked back in. "Where were you?"

Elladan was tired and not in the mood. "Who are you? My father?"

"Try not to act like a whiny human teenager. You are, right now, the Lord of Imladris. At least pretend to act like it. So, where were you?"

"If I'm the Lord," said Elladan in a lofty voice, "I'm afraid that it's none of your business."

"You were with your father, weren't you?"

Elladan looked away.

Dùlith rose to his feet, or as much as he could in the tent. He put his arms around Elladan and pulled him down. He rocked Elladan as he sobbed, much like a parent would. "It's okay to be upset. It's okay to want to go to see him. But if you are to be in charge of the battle tomorrow, I am afraid that you do need some sleep."

"There's no way I'll be able to sleep."

"Then lie down and relax." Dùlith lay down, made himself comfortable, and then pulled Elladan next to him. "Let me get some sleep, at least."

Elladan leaned over and kissed Dùlith.

Dùlith smiled. "I'm too old for you," he said.

"Elves are immortal, you know. Age doesn't matter at all."

"You're young enough to be my son."

"So are many elves, if you really think about it."

Dùlith swatted him playfully. "Are you calling me old?"

"Maybe." He kissed Dùlith again, but Dùlith pushed him away.

"Don't. Just go to sleep."

Reluctantly, Elladan did as he was told.

* * *

Legolas was milling around Belegtur's camp. He had not yet seen Elrohir, which worried him. Had Elrohir been killed already? Legolas sincerely hoped not. Fortunately, he had not had to go out and fight yet, and had faced no chance of death yet, though he had heard about how bad it was. 

But obviously something had gone right for these rebels, as the atmosphere seemed just like that of a celebration. This knowledge made his stomach turn, because only one thing would bring on such happiness: Elrond or one of Elrond's kin dying. Legolas knew all of them and would be deeply affected by any of their death. Especially if it was Elrond. Legolas didn't know if Imladris would survive Elrond's death.

To one passing elf, he asked, "What happened?"

"Elrond has been killed!"

Legolas forced a smile. "That's wonderful news."

"Too right it is." The elf wandered off, leaving Legolas to his dark thoughts.

Legolas couldn't believe that Elrond would allow himself to be killed by one of these scum. They were terribly trained and should crush themselves against Elrond's force. Maybe Elrond had tried to play the hero. That struck Legolas as likely. Or he could have been trying to save someone else. That was probably even more likely.

Legolas knew that Imladris would not be able to hold up for long under this attack with Elrond gone. That meant that he had to destroy this insurrection from the inside. Frankly, he thought that that was what his father had planned all along. But now he would attempt to do it with renewed vigor. Imladris was counting on him to get this done. If he didn't, Imladris could be a threat to all the Elvish realms. It was Legolas's duty as an elf to protect his fellow elves, and he would do that as best as he could.

* * *

And so the third day of the battle began. All of the Imladris elves, who had not been told yet about Elrond, could nevertheless sense that something was wrong by the renewed vigor of the rebels. They never saw Elrond or Glorfindel, and that led to all the rumors spreading. Most of them were pretty close, but some were downright outlandish. Elladan tried to take control (with Dùlith whispering instructions into his ear), but he knew that was not nearly as effective as his father. 

The battle was an apparent stalemate. Imladris could field more warriors than the rebels could, but somehow the warriors appeared to be better at killing the warriors. Elladan supposed it was that Elrond's warriors had been trained and told over and over again never to kill an elf. So they had inhibitions that the rebels didn't.

"Are we going to win this, Dùlith?"

"I don't know. Normally, I would say that we would be able to crush them without any trouble, but there's something about these elves. They are so driven that every one of them is willing to die to kill us. It's not something that I'm very familiar with, that kind of suicidal ambition."

"Do you think that we are going to win, though?"

"If this drags on long enough, yes, we will win. We have more bodies than they do, and that's what it will come down to if this fight goes on for more than a couple more days. But they could wipe us out today. It's completely possible."

"And what will I do then?"

"You will run. You will change your name and you will hide. These rebels will hunt you down, to wherever elvish realm you go. You will never be safe again."

Elladan swallowed hard. That didn't sound like a pleasant life. "But you don't think that that will happen, do you?"

"It could."

"Would you come with me?"

"Yes. I don't think you would be able to survive without my help."

Elladan was slightly hurt by this, but wasn't in the mood to fight with Dùlith. He didn't need that right now.

* * *

Haldir had not slept. He was dead tired, but knew that he had to fight. Elladan would need his guidance. As he was leaving, Elrond's eyes opened again, for longer this time, and he appeared to see Haldir. Haldir even saw a small smile on his face before darkness claimed Elrond once more. Glorfindel appeared to be dead, though he had a slight pulse. He was still not breathing. The only thing that Haldir could think of was that the Valar were keeping Glorfindel alive for some reason. 

"I'll be back later," he said aloud as he left. He had no idea whether either elf could hear him, but he didn't want to just walk out.

When he made his way outside, both forces were milling around in a way that amused Haldir immensely. They could be fighting, but instead they were both in sight of each other and acted as though nothing at all was happening. Haldir quickly found Elladan, and saw also that some dark-haired elf was talking to him. Haldir rode quickly over; the last thing that Elladan needed was stupid advice from some commoner.

"Morning, Elladan."

"You look terrible, Haldir. Did you sleep?"

"No. But that's not important. Who was that elf?"

"Dùlith."

"Don't listen to advice from commoners. They don't have a clue what they're talking about. Trust me, I've made that mistake already."

"But he fought at the Last Alliance."

"Well, a good portion of the elves alive during the time did. That doesn't mean he knows what he's doing. Don't trust his advice, he has never commanded a battle before. I have, and so I know what I'm talking about."

Elladan was surprised by the sudden way Dùlith had disappeared when Haldir rode over, but did not have time to dwell on it, as suddenly the rebel forces charged. "What should I do?" he asked.

"Don't meet them. Wait for them to get here."

Elladan nodded unsteadily, his eyes fixed on the swarm of elves rapidly approaching his own swarm.

Everything seemed to slow down and for a few precious moments it seemed that the rebel elves would never actually reach the Imladris elves. The Imladris archers took out about a quarter of the force before it reached the mass of angry elves. But the rebel elves just kept on coming, ignoring the elves falling around them.

Haldir could see the fear on Elladan's face, but knew that he could not say anything to comfort him. This was Elladan's test, and if he could not deal with it in a manner befitting the Lord of Imladris, he would never be fit to rule Imladris, no matter how wise he grew. If he lost this, Imladris would forever view him for that, not for anything he might do in the future. Elladan had to do this by himself.

"Hold," said Elladan, more to himself than anyone else. Elladan wanted nothing more than to go out and meet the rebels, but both Dùlith and Haldir had told him not to. And he trusted both their advice, whatever Haldir might say about trusting Dùlith. "Hold." The elves drew closer and closer. Elladan felt the fear really come to the surface. He was in command of this battle; if it was lost, he would be blamed.

Now the elves were within twenty paces of Elladan. He looked over at Haldir, who was wearing a blank, impassive face. Elladan knew that Haldir would not help him. This was entirely his own decision. How can everyone be forcing me to grow up? he asked himself. Another part of his brain answered the question: Because if father is dead, then you are the Lord of Imladris. You have to be able to do this.

Dùlith was watching Elladan. He could see the indecision on the elf's face, and knew that if Elladan couldn't handle this, he would have to take control. No matter whether elves like Haldir listened to him, someone who knew what they were doing had to command these elves. And Haldir, while a good commander, did not know Imladris. But Dùlith had faith in Elladan. He was so much like his father.

And then the elves were upon them. Dùlith raised his sword and began to take out elves left and right. He did not feel good about doing so, but it was a matter of survival. And when it came down to survival, he would ruthlessly pursue his own best self-interests. He cast occasional glances in Elladan's direction, making sure that he was alive and okay. Haldir was doing a decent job of protecting him, but Haldir was not infallible.

Elladan knew that it was impossible to tell if he was winning or not. Too many of the elves looked the same. But at least the Imladris elves hadn't been completely eradicated. He really did not want to have to live the kind of life Dùlith described last night. He didn't see that that would be in any way preferable to winning this battle and making sure that his father lived.

He caught Dùlith staring at him more than once. He wasn't sure of the reason why. It could be that Dùlith was just trying to keep an eye on him and make sure that he wasn't killed, or it could have something to do with the obviously deepening relationship between them. Elladan didn't want to even think about what his father would say about it if his father survived. He could almost imagine the look on his father's face. He could hear his father's voice in his head: 'He's too old for you, Elladan', 'Elladan, you are of noble birth, he is but a commoner', 'Be reasonable, Elladan', 'Absolutely not'. All these thoughts managed to bring a smile to his face, and he was almost killed because of his daydreaming. Fortunately, Haldir was looking out for him, and deflected the killing blow with his sword. "Pay attention!" screamed Haldir, shocked at Elladan's lack of responsibility in this most dire of situations.

* * *

Elrond awoke in a cold sweat. He gasped briefly for air, wondering what had happened to him. The last thing he remembered was that elf standing over him, a sword in his hand. And now he was…he checked his surroundings, back in his room. Glorfindel was lying beside him. 

And Glorfindel was not breathing.

Elrond immediately panicked, until he remembered that the memory of the elf standing over him was not the last thing that he remembered. He closed his eyes as he began to recall his entering into the Hall of Waiting. And then a strong force had started to pull him back. For a few precious instants, he had thought that he was saved, and that someone, like Glorfindel, was trying to bring him back. He had called out mentally, and suspected therefore that it was Galadriel, using all her strength to keep him from dying. But she had failed.

It had been cold and lonely.

Then something had pulled at him again. And this time he was sure that it was Glorfindel. He tried to calm down to allow himself to be taken away, hopefully without Mandos noticing. But Mandos noticed everything.

Then Glorfindel appeared by his side. Elrond closed his eyes in disbelief. Had Glorfindel died trying to bring him back? Who would rule Imladris? His sons were too young, and there was no one else. Glorfindel put an arm around his shoulders and murmured, "How could you be this dumb?"

Elrond smiled. "Getting killed in battle…I never thought I'd die like that."

And then Mandos appeared. "Lord Elrond of Imladris, Lord Glorfindel of Gondolin, I was not expecting to see either of you here so soon."

"So let us go back," said Glorfindel. He had challenged Mandos before, and so now felt that he had the right.

Mandos did not feel the same way. "I allowed you to plea your case before me once, Lord Glorfindel, do not try again."

"Then let me," said Elrond. "There is none to rule Imladris. If Imladris falls to these rebels, then all of the elvish realms will inevitably soon fall. I cannot allow that to happen…"

"You were the one that allowed yourself to get killed," pointed out Mandos. "And there is one in Imladris that can rule."

"My sons are too young."

"Not your sons. Another."

"Imladris cannot be ruled by a foreigner."

"He is not a foreigner. But that is immaterial. I shall make a deal with the both of you. While I make up my mind about sending both of you back, I will allow one of you to go back. The other will stay here until I have decided. If I decide to allow only one of you to remain permanently, I will take the one who is here temporarily."

"I will stay," said Glorfindel immediately.

"Absolutely not!" said Elrond. "I'm the one that got killed. You did nothing but try to bring me back…"

"Because I love you!"

"I never questioned that. But I won't let you suffer for my mistakes."

"I don't care. Imladris needs you, Elrond, not me. I will stay here and suffer Mandos's judgment. If either of us have to die, let it be me. I have lived more than I have deserved. Your family needs you. Elladan will not be able to survive losing you…"

"And I will not be able to survive losing you!"

"All of this is very touching," commented Mandos wryly, but you must make up your mind. As you are now bonded, I will add a little something else, hopefully to help you make up your mind. Whoever stays here will still be able to communicate to the other via the bond."

"Elrond," said Glorfindel. "I love you. Please let me do this."

Elrond closed his eyes. "I don't want to lose you. I have lost too many."

"I will still be with you. Just let me stay."

Elrond nodded. "Okay."

"Is that your decision?" asked Mandos.

"Yes," said Glorfindel. Elrond nodded his agreement.

And then he woke up in his room, in his bed, lying next to what was really no more than a corpse. He was so tired; he felt so weak. So he closed his eyes and tried to pretend that this whole mess was just a bad dream.

* * *

After the day of battle wound up with the rebels retreating once again, only they didn't retreat quite so far this time. Dùlith found Elladan, finally away from Haldir. "Can we go see Lord Elrond?" 

"You want to go see my father?"

Dùlith nodded. "If I may."

Elladan nodded. "I don't see why not. Come on, let's go." He was certain that there was some connection between Dùlith and his father, and wanted desperately to know what it was. So he led Dùlith inside and began walking slowly towards his father's rooms. With curiosity, he noticed that as soon as they entered the hallways, Dùlith pulled up the hood of his cloak, so that most of his face was obscured, as if he did not want to be recognized by anyone. He was altogether unsurprised to see Dùlith stride ahead. Dùlith had very obviously spent time in Imladris before, whatever he said, and probably knew exactly where his father's rooms were. They came up to a turning, and Elladan knew it was the final test. The obvious way to get to his father's rooms, by turning left, was actually the wrong way to go. You had to turn right. Unless you had spent a lot of time in Imladris, and specifically with Elrond, you would not know that. Without even pausing, Dùlith turned right. "You've been here before, haven't you," said Elladan.

Dùlith did not answer him, just walking at a steady pace until he paused outside of Elrond's rooms. "You go in first," said Dùlith calmly.

Elladan nodded and opened the door. He saw that his father appeared to be sleeping, while Glorfindel seemed dead. No one else was in the room. He motioned for Dùlith to come in.

Dùlith pushed down the hood of his cloak, smoothed his quite long dark hair down into some sort of order, and then walked over to the bedside. "Elrond," he murmured, almost too softly for Elladan to hear. Dùlith sat on the side of the bed, took one of Elrond's hand, and pressed a light kiss onto the back of it. "You must be strong, Elrond." He held the hand tightly.

Elladan sensed that this was a personal moment for Dùlith, but did not want to leave. He wanted to know exactly how Dùlith knew his father, and specifically how well Dùlith had known his father. So he didn't leave, even though he knew that he really should, out of respect to all three older elves.

Elrond felt the weight shift on the bed and began to stir. Some irrational part of his brain hoped that Mandos had made his decision and given Glorfindel back to him. But the movement was on the wrong side of the bed. Then he heard a soft voice say his name, almost reverently. Someone was holding his hand.

Elrond slowly opened his eyes, expecting to see Haldir or Elladan. But instead he saw those beautiful eyes and that silky dark hair he still occasionally dreamed about. The face was slightly more lined than he remembered, but that was what time did. He closed his eyes for a second and then opened them, expecting the face to disappear. But it did not. A sad smile appeared on his face. It was so ironic, right after he was bonded to an elf that he did not really love, that he had to show up.

In that same loving voice, he said, "Elrond."

Elrond almost couldn't find the words. He didn't know what to say at all. In the end, he settled for a simple name. "Erestor."

Author's note:

Please don't be angry with me about the way I brought Elrond back from the dead. I accidentally killed him and then had to try to find some way to bring him back. My only defense: this is AU and non-canon, so I can kinda mess with Tolkien's world if i really think i have good cause. And i think that counts as good cause.


	13. Elven Hearts Part 2

Title: Elven Hearts Part 13?  
Author: Anonymous slashlover  
Rating: R Summary: Long after the incident that caused which pushed Imladris into chaos, new events are about to change everything Notes: Please review this if you read it. It only takes a couple of minutes and I would honestly like feedback. Thank you : )  
More Notes: Flashbacks are in italics  
Thank you to the world's best beta: Plug in Delaney. I love you!!! You rock!  
Any other mistakes are fully my fault

* * *

Everyone in the room was silent for a few seconds. Elladan took it upon himself to break the silence. "You know him, father?"

Elrond looked at his son and said wryly, "Know him? He was once my chief advisor…he was once my best friend."

Elladan looked between the two of them and wondered if friendship was all that had gone on between them. But that upset him. He liked Dùlith (or was it really Erestor now?) a lot, and to find out that his father and Erestor were lovers, that would just be too much. "Maybe I should go."

Erestor looked first at Elrond and then at Elladan. He rose to his feet, put an arm around Elladan's shoulders and walked out of the room with him. "Yes, I think you should leave us for a while."

"Why did you leave?" asked Elladan.

Erestor smiled grimly. "Now that I am back, the stories will reappear. But you will not hear them from me." He kissed Elladan. "Go and get some sleep. I will join you later." He smiled grimly, then turned and walked back into Elrond's room.

Elladan was so confused. Normally, when anything really weird happened, he had Elrohir to talk to. But Elrohir wasn't here anymore. And had Erestor really meant it when he had implied that he would come to Elladan's room later? Elladan took a deep breath and began to walk away. As much as he wanted to listen in on his father's conversation, he knew that that was one thing he couldn't do.

And then he nearly ran into Haldir. "Watch out, Elladan," said Haldir. "There's enough death outside without you causing any in here."

Could he talk to Haldir? "Haldir, you knew Erestor, right?"

Haldir sighed. "What is your fascination with Erestor? Let the dead rest in peace."

"He isn't dead."

"Excuse me?"

"He's with my father right now."

Haldir looked like he was about to faint. "In your father's rooms?"

"Yes."

"Then excuse me, Elladan." Haldir hurried off.

By the gods, what did Erestor mean to everyone here. And what did he do to have to disappear like he surely did?

Elrond watched as Erestor walked back into the room and closed the door behind him. Elrond watched as Erestor looked at Glorfindel and then up at Elrond. "Hello, my lord."

There were a hundred, a million things that Elrond wanted to say to Erestor. Elrond watched as Erestor retreated to a chair halfway across the room. The first thing that came to Elrond's mind was, "Glorfindel said you were dead."

"He lied." Erestor did not tell Elrond what truly happened. Elrond wouldn't believe him.

_He heard voices and forced himself to concentrate. He opened his eyes and found Glorfindel standing above him, a sad look on his face. "Why'd you have to get yourself caught?" asked Glorfindel._

_Erestor struggled to speak and eventually managed to say, "Just kill me."_

_"I don't want to do that, Erestor, meleth, I don't want to kill you, I love you too much." Glorfindel turned as he heard other voices. He frowned. "I have to leave, Erestor, Elrond doesn't want anyone to know I was here…I hate to do this, Erestor, really I do. Please understand." Glorfindel pulled out a dagger, bent down, and gently pressed the blade to Erestor's neck._

_Erestor had been sure that he would feel the cold steel bite into his skin, but then Glorfindel dropped the blade to Erestor's wrists and slit the ropes. "Get out of here, Erestor. Live, for me."_

_Erestor managed to smile and kissed Glorfindel._

_"I could come with you, if you'd like," said Glorfindel. "Elrond would be upset…but no one would ever have to know the truth."_

_Erestor shook his head. "No. You go back to him. You'll be good for him. Just don't hurt him. He means too much to me."_

_"I know." Glorfindel kissed Erestor. "But don't you dare die."_

"I was already gone," continued Erestor. "I never saw him there."

The next thing that came to Elrond's mind was, "I banished you from Imladris…on pain of death."

Erestor nodded, rose to his feet, and took out a dagger. He put it to his neck. "Just give me the command, my lord. Tell me to and I will do it." And he was serious.

"Don't be a fool. Put the dagger away." A long pause. "Did you do it?"

"You know I didn't, my lord." Erestor looked again at Glorfindel. "What happened to him?"

"He sacrificed himself for me…Mandos demanded one of our souls, he refused to let me give up mine."

"And now you are bonded?...or not?"

"Mandos is deciding whether or not to return Glorfindel to me. If he does, then we are bound. If not…then no. Right now, he can still communicate with me through the bond."

Erestor nodded, then walked closer and sat down on the bed beside Elrond. Elrond reached for him and held him tightly for a few moments. "I never stopped thinking of you," Elrond whispered. He wished that he could kiss Erestor, but Glorfindel would know. Elrond was sure of that much.

"Your bonded would hardly appreciate you saying that. But I made a promise to your son that I will not break, so I must leave you." A whimsical smile. "He is so very much like you, you know."

Elrond nodded. "Exactly what are your feelings regarding him…he is my son, after all."

"I…I don't know. I care about him. But he's young and I don't know what his feelings are. If he wants to…I will do what he wants."

"You will become my son's lover?"

"Well, we are going to have to overcome my past. He will hear all the rumors, he will find out everything. It's really going to be hard for him, finding out everything that I've done."

Elrond pulled Erestor down into a tight embrace. "Don't hurt him like you hurt me. Swear that to me."

"I never meant to hurt you, Elrond. You know that. But I will never hurt him. I will swear that."

The door opened. In a broken voice, Haldir said, "Erestor?"

Erestor pulled out of Elrond's embrace and looked at Haldir. Even more unsure of what to do around Haldir than Elrond he managed to say, rather awkwardly, "I missed you."

Haldir didn't care that Elrond was in the room. He walked over to Erestor and hugged him. "Erestor, you should have told me you were here."

"Haldir, I couldn't. It was too much." Surrounded now by all the people that cared most about him, he suddenly felt alone and isolated. He felt trapped. He had to get out. "Elladan is waiting for me." He made a quick retreat, before emotions could take over.

* * *

Elladan was upset. He wanted Erestor to come back here, but he was nearly certain that he wouldn't. From what he had inferred, Erestor and his father had been lovers. And so that made the prospects of anything happening between him and Erestor nearly nonexistent.

He had been unlucky in love all his life. His first lover had been female, and that was how he had discovered that he much preferred males. She had left him for one of his closest friends. They were happily bonded now. His second and third lovers had ended up together. And now Erestor. Maybe he was destined never to be happy. Unlike his father. Elladan envied his father's love for Glorfindel. Even though it was heavily rumored that Glorfindel was not faithful to Elladan and Elladan had the proof. But he would never ruin that relationship.

A knock on the door. "Come in," called Elladan.

Erestor walked in, a tired smile on his face. "You have no idea how tired I am, Elladan."

"I would have thought you'd stay with my father tonight."

"Your father is bonded." Erestor pulled off his shirt. "And I thought that I was welcome here…if not, I can go back to Elrond and get my rooms back."

Elladan smiled. "No, stay here."

Erestor pulled his pants off and walked over to the bed. "And I had to deal with Haldir as well."

"How many elves did you fuck when you were here last?" asked Elladan jokingly as he snuggled up to Erestor.

"Most of them. Excluding your father."

"What about Glorfindel?"

"Mm-hmm."

"And Haldir?"

"Yes. I almost went back to Lorien with him. That was right before I left."

"Why did you leave?"

Erestor smiled at Elladan's attempt to get him to tell what he did not want to. Elladan had no idea the extent of his skills, though, and so might think he could trap Erestor. He kissed Elladan lightly for it. "Go to sleep, Elladan."

"I don't think so." Erestor was obviously not an elf to take the initiative, so Elladan knew that he had to. He rolled on top of Erestor, feeling the muscles of Erestor's chest and abdomen tighten momentarily. "I think that there's some better uses of our time."

Before he could make another move, Erestor had reversed their positions. Erestor kissed him hard. "I'm sure there are." He ran an idle hand down Elladan's abdomen, stopping at just below the belly button. "And I'm sure that I could think of more of them than you could." He could tell that Elladan was hard, and part of him really did want to give in. But more of him knew better. "But I made a promise to your father."

"What? That you wouldn't fuck me?"

"No, I made no such promise. But I did promise him that I wouldn't hurt you…"

"I'm not a virgin, you know…"

Erestor smiled as he interrupted. "No, that's not what I meant. I have a…gift for hurting people I care about. I swore to your father that I wouldn't hurt you. And I mean to honor that oath. That doesn't mean that nothing will ever happen between us…but it will take time."

Elladan closed his eyes. "You've got to be kidding me." His father had been an annoyance in his life before, but never his sex life. "And why, by all the gods, do you have to listen to my father?"

"Because I once loved him."

* * *

Glorfindel, from what was a surprisingly disconcerting perspective, was watching it all play out. He felt godlike, and that distantly amused him. He was shocked to see Erestor again. He had never thought that Erestor would want to come back. He saw as Erestor's gaze traveled across Glorfindel's body and sighed. The way Erestor looked at him was enough to make him fall in love with Erestor all over again. But he had to shield those thoughts carefully. Elrond had never learned about Glorfindel's true feelings regarding Erestor and Glorfindel was in no mood to let him find out now.

Glorfindel did not hear Mandos until Mandos put a hand on his shoulder. Even thought it's really not my shoulder. Because I don't really have a body. Such thoughts did not please Glorfindel, though, so he dismissed them. "Have you made up your mind?" asked Glorfindel.

"Watch how you talk to me," cautioned Mandos. "I control your future."

Glorfindel rolled his eyes.

"I saw that."

"Then I apologize sincerely," said Glorfindel sarcastically.

"I'll ignore the insolence for now. I really don't know whether I should send you back or not. There may be an important role for you to play in the future. But Elrond has been reunited with the one elf that will keep him from harm."

"So, let me get this straight. Either you send me back and I save Elrond from being killed or what have you, but if you don't, then Erestor will stop it from ever happening in the first place?"

Mandos smiled and said in a deep, unconnected voice, "He will hold the fate of the elves in his hand, though it is not through him that their survival lies. The one at his right hand will decide. He that is long dead will rise to destroy and he that cannot die will fall through darkness. Halfway into the mortal realm, he must choose to fall to darkness or to become what destroyed him. But he does not decide. Sapphire oceans can save him but hidden secrets will keep him safe. But he does not decide. Unknown to all save the gods, he will destroy all that has been built up, but what he creates will surpass even that the gods have built." Mandos blinked and shook his head. "There have been others to whom that could apply, notably Gil-Galad, but by the time he was dead, the prophecy had not been fulfilled. I believe that it refers to now."

Glorfindel winced. Things like this just weren't his strong suit. He tried to send the prophecy mentally to Elrond, someone who would enjoy deciphering it, but found himself blocked. A shooting pain lanced through his skull.

"No, no, no. The telling of a prophecy to the players destroys its power."

"Aren't I one of the players, though?"

"Yes. But you won't figure it out. Elrond will."

Glorfindel felt insulted. "So do I get to go back or not?"

"I don't know. I'm still trying to decide whether you will best aid what is about to pass in Imladris."

"And what is that?" Glorfindel was getting angry now.

"The world of elves is about to change. Elrond can either stand in the way of change, or he can yield to it."

Glorfindel swallowed hard. "Is he going to die?"

"Yes."

* * *

Elrohir woke up shivering. He did not know why. It was not that cold outside. But it seemed that somehow the world would never be warm again, for some reason. Elrohir immediately dismissed these thoughts. They would get him nowhere and they would cloud his thinking.

The only thought that had been going through his head was that his father was dead. Without realizing he was doing it, he whispered his father's name. The tears came unwillingly to his eyes. He wiped them away furiously. A warrior wasn't supposed to cry.

Then a mocking voice in his head told him that he was no warrior. A warrior would have resisted Belegtur.

That made him look over to his side, where Belegtur was sleeping soundly. He was filled with revulsion as he remembered the previous night.

_Elrohir felt a hand on his shoulder and knew that it belonged to Belegtur. "We had a good day, princeling," Belegtur said. "Nearly killed your brother."_

_Elrohir knew that Belegtur had not actually killed him though, through the bond that he shared with his twin. "You won't kill him."_

_"He is not even half the warrior your father was. And look what happened to him."_

_Elrohir shuddered involuntarily. "Just shut up about my father."_

_Belegtur smiled softly. "Very well, princeling." His arm folded around Elrohir's shoulders. "Come with me."_

_"Where?" asked Elrohir, ever wary of Belegtur. There had been little physical harm since Belegtur had cut off his finger, but there was no telling when rage might overcome Belegtur and then Elrohir knew he would really have to fear for his life._

_"With me."_

_Elrohir had learned the hard way to not question Belegtur too much. "Okay." He bit his lip when he saw that they were heading for Belegtur's tent._

Elrohir didn't care to think about everything else that had happened after they were inside the tent. Belegtur hadn't been rough at all, in fact, had been quite gentle and caring, but Elrohir was queasy at the thought of sleeping with his enemy, an enemy that wanted to destroy his entire family. In fact, on further thought, the sex had been quite good. But Elrohir didn't think about that.

Rolling slightly over, quietly, so that Belegtur didn't wake up, he grabbed the dagger that was beside Belegtur. A smile curled across Elrohir's face. He could end this right now. He would end this right now. Lowering the dagger, he placed it against Belegtur's throat.

Belegtur woke suddenly to the feel of cold metal against his throat. Reacting instinctively, he grabbed the dagger and jerked it away from his body. Then he saw that it was Elrohir and smiled. Sleepily, he said, "And I thought that what we did last night was special." A cruel grin then made its way onto his face. "In fact, it was so special that there's something I'd like to do with you." He grabbed the dagger from Elrohir, quickly cut his own palm and then Elrohir's. He grasped Elrohir's hand in his own, and felt the shuddery sensation as Elrohir's blood mixed with his. "I like you so much that I want to bond with you."

Elrohir fought. Belegtur was stronger. Belegtur pinned him face-down. "And the best way to seal a bond is physically. You are mine princeling. If I die, I'm strong enough to drag you into death with me. Now you need me alive."

Elrohir felt like he was going to be sick.


	14. Elven Hearts Part 2

Chapter 14 

Author's Note: If anyone has any particular wishes to see this story go in a certain direction,I would more than welcome any suggestions.

* * *

Elladan woke up and found his bed empty. He sat up, rubbing his eyes. Where was Erestor? "Erestor?" he called.

Erestor appeared at the bathroom door. "Yes? You need to get up, Elladan. It'll be time to go out there and fight soon."

Elladan got out of bed tiredly. "When is this all going to end? Can you tell me that, Erestor?"

"No, I can't."

A knock on the door. "Who is it?" asked Elladan.

"Haldir," came the voice.

"Come in," called Erestor, not bothering to cover his body. It wasn't as if Haldir hadn't seen it all already. He did smile at Elladan's shocked expression. Well, that was just one more thing that Elladan was going to have to get used to.

Haldir smiled, trying his best not to stare. He didn't feel that Elladan would appreciate that too much. "Erestor, Elrond wants to see you."

Erestor sighed and nodded. Then he grinned. "Think I should get dressed?"

"I think that that would be wise, meleth…" Haldir trailed off as he saw the look on Elladan's face and winced. He had not meant to do that, it had just kind of slipped out.

"Pay no mind to him, Elladan," said Erestor gently. "He…"

"No," said Elladan in a hurt voice. "Just go."

Erestor pulled on the same clothes he had worn since he had arrived. He would have to see about getting some new ones, he mentally decided. Casting one last look at Elladan, who stubbornly refused to meet his eye, he shook his head and followed Haldir out of the room.

"I'm sorry, Erestor," said Haldir as soon as they were out of the room.

"Don't worry about it, Haldir. He's going to have to get used to the fact that I've slept with just about everyone here. He's very young, I'm not sure that he's going to be able to deal with it." Erestor shrugged. "But that's his problem. I have never required a lover in my life." Now he smiled. "Speaking of lovers, who's yours?"

"Well, Celeborn and I were…"

He was cut off by Erestor's laughter. "I always knew the two of you would end up together. You were so perfect. And Celeborn always had a thing for you."

"But we fought right before I left." Haldir shrugged. "But that's just how things go sometimes."

"Trust me, he'll apologize sooner or later."

"Why? Have you fucked him, too?"

Erestor bit his tongue and looked away. Trying to change the subject, he asked, "What does Elrond want?"

But Haldir was not going to let Erestor off that easily. "You did, didn't you?"

"Only once." They were now at the door to Elrond's rooms. "I'll go in alone. I'll see you later…meleth." Haldir smiled and squeezed Erestor's shoulder. Erestor opened the door and saw Elrond sitting up in bed. "Morning, my lord."

"You're still going to call me that?"

"It's still true. So, what do you want?"

"Come here."

Erestor walked over willingly and sat beside Elrond. Elrond folded an arm around him and pulled Erestor close. Erestor did not fight it, he knew it would be pointless. But he sensed that Glorfindel was watching and so would not let Elrond go too far. "You know, I can't lie here all day…as much as I'd like to. I have to go out and fight. I have to try not to let Elladan be killed."

"I know. That's why I wanted to see you. Obviously, I am not going to be fighting for a couple of days…"

"At least a couple of weeks, my lord," said Erestor sternly.

"For a couple of days," continued Elrond as though Erestor had not spoken. "And so I want you to take command of our forces…"

"Absolutely not, my lord. Do you know what that would do to your son's credibility? It doesn't matter that I am more experienced than him, what matters is that he is next in line of command. I cannot take his place. You know that. If I do, he can never rule Imladris."

"Command with him, then. Erestor, I have already lost one son to these rebels, as well as Glorfindel. I don't want to lose Elladan…and I don't want to lose you."

"I'm touched by your concern…"

"Stop it, Erestor. You know I love you, you know I have loved you for millennia. I…over time, I have learned to accept that you don't return those feelings, but don't insult me by pretending that you don't know how I feel."

Erestor ran a hand through Elrond's hair. "I think…that if you were not bonded now, there would be more of a chance. I have had time to think…to live without anyone to hurt me."

"To hurt you?"

"Drop it, Elrond. I'll command with Elladan, though if he pushes me aside, I will allow him to do so…"

"He would be a fool to do so." It hurt Elrond deeply that Erestor was apparently more interested in Elladan than himself. He told himself that he had to respect Erestor's decision, no matter what.

Erestor could tell what Elrond was thinking and smiled, loving Elrond even more for it. He grabbed Elrond's hand and held it to his chest, letting Elrond feel that his heart was actually racing. "I was wondering something, Elrond."

"What?"

"Do you still play chess?"

As Elrond couldn't see Erestor's face, he couldn't tell whether Erestor was joking or not. "Yes, I still play chess."

"Would you like to play tonight? I mean, as long as I'm not killed and as long as Mandos doesn't decide that he wants to take you to the Halls of Waiting and leave Glorfindel here for me to deal with."

Elrond grinned. "I would love to. But I think that if we talk any longer, you're going to miss the battle."

Erestor reluctantly pulled out of Elrond's embrace. "And that would be such a tragedy. I don't know how I would be able to live with myself." The way that Elrond looked at him as he said this was by and far enough to make Erestor fall in love with Elrond all over again. If he didn't have so firm a control over his emotions, he would have kissed Elrond. "I'll see you this evening then, mellon-nin."

"Don't get yourself killed."

"I'm immortal, remember?"

"That's what all those elves out there thought."

* * *

Haldir was thinking about what Erestor had said. Closing his eyes, he could remember the long days and longer nights that he had spent with Celeborn. If he could do anything, he would have chosen to make sure that those times never ended. As much as he loved Erestor, he now realized that he had to accept that Erestor would never be his. He was certain that Erestor would be more than happy to be just friends, but a relationship had been tried. Even if it had not failed, per se, there had just been too much time passed, too much had happened. It would never work again. It barely worked the first time. Haldir was not about to willingly jump into what he could see would be a painful, depressing relationship. What he wanted, really, was Celeborn. It was then that he made a decision. If he came out of this alive, and Haldir thought that the prospects of that happening were reasonably good, he would travel back to Lorien and beg Celeborn to take him back. He didn't want to think about what would happen if Celeborn said no, but that wasn't something he really wanted to think about and so he didn't.

"Haldir?"

Haldir broke out of his reverie and turned around to see Elladan. "Yes, Elladan?"

"Will you tell me why Erestor left?"

Haldir closed his eyes. Just thinking about it made him angry at Elrond, made him want to kill Glorfindel, and made him want to love Erestor again. "No, Elladan. I'm too involved in what happened. I couldn't give you a fair description of what happened. I'm rather biased towards Erestor."

"Fine. Give me your biased version." Elladan was so tired of not knowing that he would be willing to listen to anyone.

"Your father and Erestor had been in love for a long time. But they are both rather stubborn and neither wanted to admit it. Glorfindel came along for a mission that your father thought suited him. Glorfindel seduced Elrond and then got Erestor out of the way by claiming that Erestor raped him. Elrond believed him and kicked Erestor out."

"Did Erestor rape Glorfindel?"

"Of course not."

"Of course not? Like you said, you're biased. But Erestor does seem the type."

"Speaking from your vast wealth of knowledge of him, of course. It will be easier, Elladan, if you want to have a relationship with him, that you should just drop it. It will be easier on both of you."

"Talking about me again, Haldir?" asked Erestor, sneaking up on them. "Come on, we have to go get ourselves killed. Elladan, your father has put you in charge of the battle."

"Not you?" asked Elladan, surprised.

"You are the Lord while Elrond is not present. I am just an advisor."

* * *

Today the battle seemed more restrained. Enough lives had been taken by both sides that everyone seemed hesitant to order the first charge of the day or to be the first to strike down an elf. A measure of sanity seemed to have been introduced to each elf's mind and looking on all the things they had done over the past couple of days, it was clear that this fight was nearing its end. Most of the bodies still lay littered across the once-beautiful lands of Imladris, and the presence introduced a somber mood. Everyone that had fought here would be remembered by history as a kinslayer.

Finally, the rebels charged Imladris's forces. But it seemed weak and the Imladris warriors quickly batted them down. The fight continued on in an almost half-real state. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion and only half-heartedly. The rebels had apparently lost the will to fight.

Not that the Imladris contingent was complaining. At about noon, Erestor rode over to Haldir and said, "Maybe we will finish this today."

Haldir grinned and replied, "I hope so. We have all done far too much for the gods to e'er forgive us."

"Well, the gods cursed me long before this, but now at least we shall be together in the afterlife."

Haldir grinned. "Yes, but we will be sharing the space with all these." He gestured wildly, encompassing everything as far as the eye could see.

"Ah, well, that is the price one must pay."

Haldir laughed. It had been too long since he had been able to do that. More than anything, that seemed to signal to him that this hell had finally come to an end. Too many had given their lives for this. Too many mothers and wives would mourn and curse Elrond and the rebels for doing this. Haldir didn't blame them. He would do the same if he were in their shoes. He might still do that, anyway. He knew that most of the Lorien warriors had died already. He had fought with many of them before and knew that Lorien would mourn their passing deeply.

* * *

Elladan, try as he might, could not focus on the battle. He knew that this distraction was the easiest way to be killed, but he couldn't help it. Pictures were flashing through his mind. Erestor when he walked into Elladan's room last night, stripping casually and joining him in bed. Erestor this morning emerging from the bathroom with no regard for his nudity. The flippant way he had treated Haldir. The way Haldir had called Erestor 'meleth' and the shine in Erestor's eyes when Haldir had done so. People could talk about him having to overcome Erestor's past all they liked, but if Erestor had been so casually involved with most of the elves in Imladris (as it seemed to be), then there would be major problems. Elladan expected commitment and sensed that he wouldn't get that from Erestor. But maybe he was wrong. He would have to see.

Erestor rode over to him late in the afternoon and asked him, "What are you doing tonight?"

Elladan couldn't believe that Erestor was asking him this in the middle of a battle and so was at a bit of a loss for words. Finally, he managed to say, "Nothing right now."

"Good. I'm going to come to your rooms then, tonight. If you don't mind."

Part of Elladan did mind. Part of Elladan wanted to get back at Erestor for his casually sexual attitude towards everything. "No, I don't think that's a good idea."

A surprised, slightly hurt expression appeared on Erestor's face for a second. Then his face returned to its typically impassive mask and he said, "Very well. I will take up my old rooms. If you need to find them, I'm sure someone can tell you where they are." Then he rode off.

Elladan felt bad about doing that. It wasn't often that somehow tried this hard to seduce him. But he wasn't sure even if Erestor really wanted anything more than a quick romance. It was clear at least to Elladan that Erestor's love lay with his father. The last thing that Elladan needed was to compete with his father for an elf. That was just wrong in Elladan's mind. Part of him wanted to call after Erestor and tell him to come by. But he was strong enough to say no. Erestor would just have to find someone else to sleep with tonight.

Elladan had the feeling that that would be sickeningly easy for Erestor to do.

* * *

Elrohir had been pacing the camp all day, trying to avoid all the looks everyone gave him. It seemed as if, somehow, they all knew exactly what had happened last night and this morning. Elrohir didn't know if they approved and didn't care. All he wanted was to make it go away. But there was no real way of breaking a blood-bond, save through death of one of the participants. Elrohir felt that taking his own life would somewhat defeat the purpose, and he had to admit that Belegtur was probably right when he said that he was strong enough to drag Elrohir into death with him.

He had no options. He had never heard of an elf forcibly bonded, but could see now that it was entirely possible. Even if it wasn't exactly the best thing in the world, it had been done and there appeared to be very little that Elrohir could do about it. For better or worse, he now had a life partner.

Now that he was bonded, he knew that he had to do everything possible to keep Belegtur alive. Belegtur was now the key to his own survival. So, whatever it took, Elrohir would have to convince him to forget this insane attack. There were better ways to go about doing this. Whether Belegtur would actually listen to him was another story.

Haldir rode over to Elladan as the sun began to set. "I believe that this will be the last day," he commented.

"How can you tell?"

"I have experience of far more battles than I hope you will ever see," said Haldir. "When everyone begins to tire of the fight, one party gives up. It won't be us, because this is our land and it is physically impossible for us to give up unless we concede defeat and that we will not do. It will have to be them."

"What about Elrohir?"

Haldir closed his eyes. "We will try to find him, you know that. But the odds are not good, Elladan. You have to know that." Elladan nodded. "But there is still a chance, and we will not give up until we know what happened. Erestor is a valuable spy, and the rebels do not know who he is. If worst comes to worst, your father will send in him to find Elrohir. And he will not fail."

"You have so much faith in him."

"He has never given me reason to lose faith."

Elladan realized something just then. "You really did love him, didn't you?"

"I still do love him. He's the kind of elf who you can't fall out of love with. You'll learn. Trust me. I know, and so do many others. Erestor is someone you will either love for all eternity or hate for all eternity. It just can't be any other way."

* * *

Belegtur could see that he was losing the battle and didn't like that at all. He was supposed to win; those with the just cause were always supposed to win. Imladris certainly was not in the right; he was. He couldn't understand why he wasn't winning. His forces weren't strong enough to do much more than one last charge. So he rallied them to do so. It didn't matter to him if he died, if all of his elves died. If they had to die, as they surely would, then they would go out in a blaze of glory.

As his elves charged the Imladris elves, he could hear the murmurs of fear from the other elves. They weren't as committed as he was; they did not have the true dedication to be willing to die for the Cause. Well, they would have to learn. Belegtur demanded that from them. The Imladris elves were waiting for them patiently. Belegtur saw Elladan, Haldir of Lorien, and some other elf that he did not know all clustered together. That would only make it easier to take them all out, some part of his mind told him.

It all seemed like a dream. He cut through all the elves, his eyes fixed on his target. They seemed to be aware of him and moved closer together. The one that Belegtur did not know took a position in the front, along with Haldir, keeping Elladan out of sight. Belegtur let his emotions take control and let out a primal scream as he fell upon them. He received uncountable small wounds, but he managed to get a few good swings in. He left a deep gash up Haldir's thigh and opened the unknown elf's throat. Then Elladan stuck his sword deep into Belegtur's right shoulder. And twisted; ripping muscle and tendon. The sword dropped from Belegtur's hand and another cry escaped his lips. This time it was one of agony. Though he knew it made him look like a coward, he knew he had to leave before he died. His willingness to die had suddenly disappeared and now he wanted to live. That meant that he had to go somewhere to be safe. And the safest place he knew right now was his camp. So he ordered a retreat.

He did not look back as he fled the battlefield. He had seen Haldir fall. It was likely that he died. And the unknown elf was almost certainly dead. One just did not survive such blows. It was a pity that he hadn't killed Elladan, but that could come tomorrow. With his guardians removed, Elladan would be left defenseless. Belegtur was sure of himself and allowed himself a small smile through his agony. He would win. The just cause would win. The Valar had surely blessed him, for there were many times that he could have died, but he had always survived. If the Valar had not supported his actions, then they would surely have taken one of those opportunities and killed him. And if the Valar blessed him, then there really was no way that he could lose. That brought a bigger smile to his face.

Elladan dropped to his knees beside his two fallen companions. Haldir was still gasping in agony, hand clutching at his thigh. Erestor was silent on the ground, blood pulsing out of the gaping wound in his neck. "No, Erestor, no you can't die." He felt for Erestor's pulse. It was very weak, and slowing quickly.

"Let him go," said Haldir faintly. He was sitting up, breathing heavily. He had formed a tourniquet with his shirt. While that would only help for a little while, hopefully it would last long enough to get him to a healer who could actually fix him. "Let him go."

"No." Elladan remembered what Glorfindel had done, snatched up his dagger and cut a line down his palm. "I'll pull him back."

"You're not strong enough," said Haldir. "He's much stronger than you. He'd drag you with him and he wouldn't want to do that."

"So I'm just supposed to let him die?"

"We can take him to a healer, but I don't think there's much they can do for him." Cautiously, Haldir attempted to stand. He fell back down to his knees as he tried to put weight on his injured leg. By this point, many elves had rushed over and one helped Haldir to stand, supporting much of his weight.

Another picked Erestor's limp form up. Blood was still flowing freely, much like the tears escaping Elladan's eyes. "Come on," he managed to say. "We have to get him to a healer."

* * *

Glorfindel involuntarily let out a cry as he saw Erestor fall. Would Erestor soon be joining him here? Would Mandos let the two of them meet? What would Elrond do without both of them? "Is he going to die?" cried out Glorfindel. As far as he knew, Mandos was not in the room. But this was Mandos's domain, and Mandos was a god. So Glorfindel knew that Mandos could hear him.

"I don't know," he heard Mandos say.

"How can you not know?" demanded Glorfindel. "You are a god. You're supposed to know these things!"

Mandos appeared in front of him. "Are you yelling at me?"

Glorfindel quickly calmed his temper. "No…but you can't let him die."

"I'll make a deal with you."

Glorfindel closed his eyes. He was starting very much to hate Mandos.

"You know, I can read your mind, Glorfindel."

"Right. Sorry. So what's the deal?"

"You or him. I'll keep one of the two of you…"

"That's not fair! I'm already being held hostage on Elrond's good behavior, as it were. You can't do this as well!"

"Remember, Glorfindel, who I am. I can do what I wish to the Firstborn. You have no say in it."

Glorfindel pouted.

"It's your choice now, Glorfindel." Mandos stepped in front of Glorfindel.

Glorfindel closed his eyes.

"And if you don't choose, I'll do it for you. And you won't like what I choose."

"Take me," sighed Glorfindel. He did not want very much to spend the rest of eternity here, but if he went back, he knew that Mandos would take Elrond away. And that would serve no purpose at all except to destroy Imladris.

"Are you certain?"

Glorfindel stood up (reminding himself once again that he wasn't really standing up because he didn't really have a body) and said, "You give me no choice, Mandos. I don't want to have to make these choices. You're the god, you make the choices!"

"You are aware that if I take you and allow Erestor to remain, then I will keep you for all eternity. There will be no going back this time."

I hope you know how much I love you, Erestor.

"He does."

"Then just get it over with." Glorfindel closed his eyes, expecting to feel a sudden tug of death as his soul was permanently removed from Arda. But he felt nothing.

"You can open your eyes now."

"Is it done?"

"Yes. Your body is now no longer alive. You are dead, Glorfindel."

* * *

Elrond cried out as he saw the last sparks of life leaving Glorfindel's body. "No." He looked up at the ceiling. "Mandos, how could you do this? He is my lover, I would do anything for him!" He felt the tears escape his eyes and could do nothing to stop them. He would have to let this grief run its course. Everyone he had ever loved had left him. All his bonded mates had gone. Celebrìan had never really been in love with him, just as he had never been in love with her, but the mourning process he had gone through because they were bonded had been extensive and had wrung Elrond dry. He had thought himself incapable of ever caring again after she had died. During their marriage, Glorfindel had made it a point to not expect anything of Elrond and Elrond had appreciated it. Now he remembered how Glorfindel had acted when Celebrìan had died.

_"Elrond, do you want some company?" It was Glorfindel. He was tired of seeing the sunken expression on Elrond's face. He was tired of seeing that Elrond never ate and clearly did not sleep. "You look like you could use a friend." He knew that Elrond and Celebrìan had never had much of a marriage, but Elrond had still lost a bonded mate. The pull to the Hall of Waiting had been strong._

_"You don't have to, Glorfindel."_

_"Remember what we had, Elrond, and you will see that I want nothing more than to help you, to be with you." When Elrond had been bonded, Glorfindel had originally intended to leave. Over time, he had grown to care about Elrond as more than just a conquest, but he didn't feel that he needed to be around when Elrond was clearly unavailable. "I still love you." He knew he was treading on dangerous ground with that statement, but he felt that Elrond had to know it._

_"I am not capable of loving anymore. Celebrìan took that from me."_

_"I know you feel like this is hopeless…"_

_"It would be so much easier just to go with her." Fresh tears escaped Elrond's eyes and he brushed them away, not wanting Glorfindel to see him cry._

_But Glorfindel did not mind. "You have your children. She lives on through them. Everyone here cares about you, Elrond. Everyone."_

_"So why did she have to leave?"_

_"Come on, Elrond. Let's go lie down."_

_Elrond had meekly followed Glorfindel. From then on, Glorfindel had always been by his side. It was five years before Elrond was ready to have Glorfindel as a lover, but Glorfindel had always been patient and had never pushed for anything more._

And now he had been robbed of Glorfindel as well. The door burst open and Elladan stepped in. Elrond immediately saw the amount of blood splattered over Elladan's clothes and immediately surveyed his son for any injuries. But he didn't appear to be hurt. "What is amiss, Elladan?"

"It is Erestor! He was cut down in battle."

_No, no, no. You can't take them both from me. Not when I've just found out that Erestor is alive. Mandos, how can you demand both from me?_ "Is he dead?"

"Not yet. Not quite. And Haldir was wounded as well. They both tried to save me."

_Damn you, Erestor, for being so noble._ "I want to see him."

It was only now that Elladan noticed Glorfindel's form. It seemed to have lost its glow. That could explain the tears on his father's face which had gone unnoticed until now. "Oh no, is Glorfindel…"

"Yes. Mandos took him."

"Come on, father. Let's go see Erestor, then."

A sudden thought struck Elrond and he hated himself for it. The fact that Glorfindel was dead meant that he was no longer bonded. But Elrond was just waiting for the inevitable pull that Glorfindel would begin to exert on Elrond. Maybe Erestor would be there for him this time. If he was not too involved with Elladan, that was. Elrond chided himself for that. If Erestor was more interested in Elladan, then Elrond knew he had no place to interfere.

"Damn you, Mandos."

* * *

Author's Note: Review? 


	15. Elven hearts part 2

Chapter 15 

Erestor was feeling utterly miserable. He knew he should be dead, but based on the constant agony pulsing through his body, he evidently was not. He tried to smile when he saw Elrond, but that proved impossible. Seeing the tear stains on Elrond's face, he wanted to say something to comfort him, but speaking was difficult right now. Elrond sat beside him and took his hand. "I suppose that we'll have to postpone the chess game."

Involuntarily, Erestor laughed. And then regretted it. Pain unlike anything he had ever known lanced through his body. "Don't…make me…laugh," he managed to say between panting gasps for air.

Elrond looked over and saw Haldir, who was quite awake. "Hello, Haldir. Should be more careful."

Haldir nodded. "You're probably right. But it's just a flesh wound. If it's okay, though, after I can actually get up, I'd like to go back to Lorien."

"Yes, that would be fine."

"I think the battle is nearly over anyway."

"Thank the Valar."

"Elrond," managed Erestor, squeezing Elrond's hand. "Glorfindel?"

Elrond was a little curious as to how Erestor would know something was wrong. "Mandos took him." The admission brought more tears to his eyes. It had been a long time since he had felt this way and it would take him a long time to get control of his emotions. "I'm sorry…"

"Not your…fault. Mine."

"How is it your fault, Erestor? You had nothing at all to do with it."

But Erestor knew it was not true. While unconscious, he had received a message from Mandos. He had been skeptical of it until just now. Mandos had told him that Glorfindel had died to save his own life. Mandos also told him that he couldn't tell Elrond. "You're right." He closed his eyes; he was so tired. "Stay…with me?"

Elrond smiled. "Of course I will." He heard swift footsteps to the door and saw Elladan leaving. Almost, he called after him. But he knew better.

"Don't worry about him," said Haldir. "He'll either manage to deal with this or he won't."

"It just feels so wrong that he and I are both in love with the same elf."

"Love you…too," murmured Erestor, more asleep than awake.

* * *

Galadriel walked into the room with a sorrowful expression on his face. "Celeborn, Elrond just farspoke me."

"Why? Is something wrong?"

"It's Haldir." She gauged Celeborn's reaction. She, of course, knew about their fight. But she wanted them to make up. Though Celeborn might not understand, she genuinely did want her bonded husband to be happy. If that meant that he had to seek happiness elsewhere, then she would encourage it. She did not want Celeborn to hate or resent her.

Celeborn rose to his feet a little too quickly. His heartbeat picked up. Had Haldir been killed? Would the gods really be that cruel to him? "What happened to him?"

"He's alive. He took a nasty blow. He will be returning as soon as he can walk again."

Celeborn let out an unconsciously held breath. "Thank the Valar." He wanted no more than to see Haldir again, to get on his knees and beg Haldir to take him back.

"Oh, and there was some more news, some good, some bad. Glorfindel has been killed."

Some part of Celeborn was upset about that, but Celeborn also knew what Glorfindel had done to Elrond's life all that time ago and could still not find it in his heart to forgive Glorfindel. "And the good news?"

"Erestor has returned."

A smile appeared unbidden on Celeborn's face. He remembered the sole time that he had slept with Erestor and would do nearly anything to get another night with him. He wondered how Haldir would react to the news, if he would lose Haldir to Erestor. That might be more than he could handle. "Any news on Elrohir?"

"No, nothing. Elrond plans to send out someone to look for him, and Prince Legolas is apparently a spy within the rebel camps, but he has so far been unsuccessful in locating Elrohir."

"He's probably dead, isn't he?"

Galadriel looked down at the ground. "Probably."

* * *

Elladan was ready to kill someone. He wasn't sure who he wanted to kill, either his father or Erestor. It was obvious that his father was so in love with Erestor that even Glorfindel's death barely affected him once he was in Erestor's presence. Elladan had memories of his father's behavior after Celebrìan had died. His father had not allowed anyone close, even his own children, for months. Admittedly, his father was bonded with Celebrìan a lot longer than with Glorfindel, but still. His father should have some respect for his son's feelings.

He pounded his fist against the wall. Immediately, he regretted his decision to do so and howled in pain at the warm blood trickling down his fingers. He looked up at the ceiling. "Damn you, Mandos!" If Mandos hadn't claimed Glorfindel's life, then his father would have to, at the very least, pretend that he didn't love Erestor. But with Glorfindel out of the way, Elrond had free reign.

A knock on the door. "Who is it?" called Elladan.

The door opened and Elrond walked in. "I think we need to talk."

"No, we don't. I think it's disgustingly wrong for us to fight over the same elf. You're my father. He's your age, not mine. I accept that I don't stand a chance."

Elrond smiled at the bitterness in his son's voice. Then he noticed his son's bloody hand and saw a matching bloodstain on the wall. That broadened his smile. He had tried to relieve his anger on the walls before. Erestor had always laughed at him for doing so. Glorfindel had as well, for that matter. "Do you want me to see to your hand?"

Elladan looked down at his hand and shook his head. "I'll be fine."

Elrond wished that he knew what to say to appease his son. Deep down, he knew that maybe his son was right, that maybe Elladan would really be a better choice for Erestor. Elladan would demand more of Erestor in the way of commitment and that might be just what Erestor needed. But Elrond wasn't willing to give up on the love of his life for a second time.

"Shouldn't you be with Erestor?"

"Actually, he asked for you to go to him."

"I don't believe you."

"Fine, don't." Elrond turned and walked out of the room. He was now starting to feel the familiar tug on his heart. Whether or not Glorfindel meant to, he was starting to pull Elrond to the Halls of Waiting. Elrond leaned against the wall, his hand against his chest. "Ai, Glorfindel, please don't. You know how much this hurt me before…don't put me through it again." But there was really no way that either elf could control it. They were bonded, and that was that.

Elrond barely managed to make it back to his room before the pain became too intense for him to do anything. He only just managed to close the door to his rooms before he sank to the ground, tears of sadness and agony rolling down his cheeks.

* * *

Elrohir saw them all coming back and did his best to look inconspicuous. It was no use, though. Belegtur quickly found him and took him back to his tent, where he began stripping off his armor. Elrohir saw a deep gash in Belegtur's right shoulder that hampered his every movement. In fact, if Elrohir concentrated hard enough, he could feel Belegtur's raw agony. "Would you like me to bandage that?" he asked gently.

Belegtur looked at him. "Doesn't matter."

"Why not?"

"We have lost this battle." Clumsily, left-handed, he grabbed his dagger and put it to Elrohir's throat. "I should just kill you now."

"Please don't. I can help you." Elrohir hated the way he was acting, but his survival depended on Belegtur's survival. And without him around, he knew that Belegtur would do something dumb to get himself killed.

Belegtur looked at him suspiciously. "You don't like me, I know that. So why are you offering to help me?"

Elrohir held up his wounded hand. "We are bonded, Belegtur. I have no choice."

"Very well, princeling."

Taking that as a good sign, Elrohir left briefly to get the necessary supplies. Then he went back and found Belegtur still there, waiting for him.

"Come here, princeling."

Elrohir walked over and sat by Belegtur. "What?" he asked, beginning to clean out the deep wound.

Belegtur turned Elrohir's head and kissed him. "Thank you."

Elrohir didn't want to think about what would happen if Belegtur ever really began to like him. "Belegtur, you have to back down from here. It would be foolish to stay. My father's warriors are stronger than yours."

"What would you have me do, princeling?"

"There are better ways to go about doing this. I'm willing to help you…if you want my help. If you're willing to treat me as an equal…if you're willing to call me by my name, not my title, a title that I will now never hold."

Belegtur nodded. "Very well. I can agree to that…Elrohir."

* * *

Haldir awoke to Erestor's incoherent moaning. He looked over sleepily and saw Erestor thrashing about. By the moonlight, he could also see the glitter of tears on Erestor's cheeks. Elladan, who had come by in the middle of the night, was sleeping soundly on the chair beside Erestor's bed.

Haldir sighed and pulled himself up to a sitting position. Gingerly, he pulled himself across the small space between their beds and sat down gratefully on Erestor's bed. He gathered Erestor's hands in his own. "Shh, it's okay. It'll be fine."

Erestor half-woke up. "Don't go."

"I wasn't going to." He stretched out beside Erestor, wrapping an arm around Erestor's waist. "Go to sleep. I'll be here. I promise."

Erestor snuggled up to Haldir and was instantly asleep.

Elladan woke up about an hour after sunrise and found Haldir and Erestor in bed together. Quietly enough that he didn't wake them, he walked out of the room. Did Erestor just think that he could flirt with anyone and have them? Obviously he did and obviously it had always worked before. He didn't know who to go to. For the millionth time he wished that he could talk to Elrohir. His twin always had good advice. Or even Arwen. But she was in Mirkwood right now and definitely would not be allowed to come home with all this turmoil in Imladris.

There were only a couple solutions to his problem. He could give up on Erestor and find someone else. While that was a valid option, Elladan couldn't deny his attraction to Erestor and was not willing to let go without a fight. And that led him to his second option. He could make it clear to everyone else (and that included his father) that Erestor was his and that no one else could have him. He was unsure as to how Erestor himself would react to this, but he really didn't care at this point. Finally, there were the stupid options, like running away or killing himself, but those really didn't present themselves as valid in Elladan's mind.

Elladan briefly considered visiting his father, but decided not to. His father was a skilled warrior and though this would not be actual combat, the battle for Erestor's heart would mean a lot more to Elladan than the battle that had raged outside these walls for the past four days. The battle that, to all appearances, had subsided. The rebels had not appeared at all today. Elladan was not complaining. If this stupid rebellion was finally over, he could concentrate all his efforts on willing Erestor's heart.

* * *

Elrond woke up curled on the floor. He slowly maneuvered himself to a sitting position, feeling all the knots in his back from sleeping like this. As he sat, he tried to see how strong the pull would be today. It was still there, insistent and deadly, but Elrond didn't think that it was quite as strong as it was the previous day. Still, it was only morning and the pull, as he had found, grew stronger as the day went on.

He was strong enough to move about now, so he figured that he should make sure all of Imladris knew that he had not been killed. After taking a long, soothing bath, he dressed himself in his formal robes, deep green with a darker green embroidery around the shoulders and neck, and placed his mithril circlet of office over his dark hair. He was the Lord of Imladris and none, especially a bunch of half-trained rebels, would kill him easily.

Before he left, though, he went down to see Erestor. Erestor was sitting up and talking. His elven healing powers had undone much of the damage the blow had caused him yesterday. When Elrond entered and Erestor saw the way that Elrond was dressed he asked, "What's the occasion, my lord?"

"Well, for one, the battle's over. And I have to show Imladris that I am not dead."

"So you will go out alone, unprotected? My lord, that kind of foolishness I would expect of your sons, but not of you."

"Are you offering to go as my bodyguard?"

"Willingly."

"Absolutely not," protested Haldir from the other bed. He was still confined to bed, but he was slowly getting better, and hoped to be able to begin his journey home tomorrow or the next day. "Erestor, you just got better. You're not going out there to get yourself killed. And Elrond, don't be a fool. You should know better than to let him."

Elrond smiled. This felt just like old times, before Glorfindel had arrived. "I am the Lord of Imladris, Haldir, and I shall do as I wish. Erestor, are you coming?"

"Yes, my lord, if that is what you wish."

"Come on, then, we should get you into some formal robes." He smiled as Erestor made a face. He knew that Erestor had always hated formal attire.

"Black?" Erestor asked hopefully.

"As always, if that is what you desire. You've grown a little, so I think that you will have outgrown your old ones. I think you will fit nicely into mine."

"Very well, my lord." Erestor rose from the bed and walked a little shakily towards Elrond. When he reached Elrond, Elrond put an arm around his shoulders to help his friend.

They both missed Haldir's knowing smile as they walked out together. _Elladan doesn't stand a chance._

* * *

Once in Elrond's rooms, Elrond began to look through his robes. He did not own much black, as he found it a morbidly depressing color. He preferred earth tones. But there, in the back, was a black robe he had not worn for centuries. He pulled it out; it looked like it would suit Erestor perfectly. "Here you go, Erestor. See how that fits." He turned around and found Erestor sitting on the bed, shirtless. Elrond's heart began to race; was this Erestor's attempt at seduction? Because if it was, it was succeeding. But no, Erestor got up and took the robe, disappeared into Elrond's bathroom and emerged a few minutes later. The robe fit nearly perfectly; it did not hug Erestor's slim frame as much as Elrond would have liked. But it would have to do. "Let's go," said Elrond, trying not to lose his breath at the sight of Erestor in his clothes.

* * *

Glorfindel couldn't help but smile at the sight of Erestor and Elrond together. Being dead had changed his perspective somewhat. He had seen the pull he had unintentionally exerted on Elrond and wished that he could stop it. He knew that Elrond deserved to be happy and he knew that Erestor would be more than willing to fill that role. The only question was whether Elladan would interfere and ruin this budding relationship.

He had lost his bitterness at being taken away from Arda. He knew that he would be mourned by some. His name would live on as a legend, as a lover, as a friend. He couldn't ask for much more.

"Glorfindel," said Mandos, appearing in the room.

"Yes?"

"As one of the dead, I must force you to stop looking upon your past life. To allow you to do so would anger the Valar and upset your fellow dead elves."

"You mean I can't see them…ever again?"

"If they pass into the Halls of Waiting, then you may see them. But you can no longer watch them."

"Why?" Glorfindel was upset now, and could feel tears welling in his (non-existent) eyes.

"When you died last time, were you allowed to?"

"I wouldn't have wanted to."

"Ah, but that isn't the point. Were you ever offered the chance?"

Glorfindel thought back. "No."

"Then you don't get the chance now. Come with me, Glorfindel."

Glorfindel shook his head. "NO! I gave my life for those people. The least I deserve is to find out what happens to them!"

"Do not raise your voice towards me, Glorfindel, or you will be very sorry."

Glorfindel felt a (non-existent) tear run down his cheek and wiped it away with a (non-existent) hand. Then he rose to his (non-existent) feet and followed Mandos from the room, erasing all connections that he had with his second life.

* * *

Erestor smiled as he stepped outside and was greeted with a cool breeze on an otherwise warm day. Today was so perfect as to be clichéd. The sun was shining brightly, the birds were chirping in the trees, not a cloud in the sky. And the battle was over. That was another important thing. Still, one had to watch one's step as he walked across the grass. All of the bodies had not yet been removed.

The robe he was wearing smelled of Elrond. He supposed that that was to be expected, but he had never before thought that he would wear Elrond's clothes. "It's a beautiful day," commented Erestor.

"Yes, it is. More beautiful because this horror is finally over." And maybe I can try to pick up where we left off. Especially because Glorfindel is dead. His arm curled around Erestor's shoulders. "So, where should we visit first?"

"The barracks," answered Erestor immediately. "I think they're important to keeping Imladris safe, so they should at least know you're still around."

"Right, as always. So…can I ask you an important question?"

Erestor looked at Elrond and saw those grey eyes sparkling with love. He had always loved the way that Elrond had worshipped him. "You're going to ask it whether or not I say yes, so you might as well."

"Will you stay and become my Chief Advisor again? Please?"

"I would rather marry an orc."

Elrond grinned. "I'm sure that that can be arranged. Seriously, though, Erestor, I need you to be there for me. Imladris has never been the same since you left. Please come back."

"I am back."

"As my Chief Advisor."

"I'll think about it."

Not thinking, Elrond leaned over and planted a gentle kiss on the side of Erestor's neck. Unlike when he had tried this previously, Erestor did not squirm away from him and explain to him that he was not interested. Instead, Erestor giggled. That stunned Elrond. He didn't think he'd ever heard Erestor giggle before. It was definitely something that Elrond would have to try later, when they were alone.

* * *

Legolas had heard that they were moving out. He knew that if he did not find Elrohir now, he would never manage to do so. And Elrond would never forgive him for that. So, after spending a sleepless night searching the camp, he decided the last place that Elrohir would be was with the commander, Belegtur. So it was Belegtur's tent that Legolas approached that morning. He had taken the utmost care to make sure that Belegtur was elsewhere. The last thing he needed was to be discovered on the last day that he would spend with these elves.

Legolas entered the tent, praying that he would find Elrohir there. And he did. Muttering a few words of thanks to the Valar, he dropped beside Elrohir, who appeared to be sleeping. He shook Elrohir gently. "Elrohir," he said softly.

Elrohir's eyes opened. He frowned in confusion at seeing an unfamiliar face, but soon managed to place it. "Legolas? What are you doing here?"

"Well, for one thing, getting you out of here."

Elrohir shook his head. "No." You're too late for that. If you had found me a couple days ago, I would have jumped at the chance, but that choice is no longer open to me. "I cannot."

"What do you mean, you cannot? It's very simple. You just get up and leave with me. Belegtur is leaving today. If I don't take you now, then I don't think anyone's ever going to be able to find you again."

"I told Belegtur that we had to leave."

Legolas's eyes narrowed. "Elrohir, what are you saying? That you're…you're helping this elf? Are you insane? He tried to kill your family! If what I hear is right, he killed your father. And you want to help him?"

"I have no choice, Legolas."

"There is always a choice."

Elrohir held up his hand. "Not anymore, there isn't. Not for me. I am bonded to Belegtur. And unless I'm there to make sure he doesn't do something stupid and get himself killed, he'll die. And he's strong enough to pull me with him. So I have to stay with him. As much as I don't want to, I must."

Legolas groaned at the younger elf's predicament. Truly, it was not something that Legolas would want to have happen to him. "I cannot go back to your father and tell him that."

"Well, I cannot come with you, Legolas. You know that."

"So what do I tell your father?"

"Tell him whatever you like. But I can never go home. You have to understand that. I am no longer Elrohir Peredhil."

"So who are you?" Somehow, to Legolas, Elrohir appeared decades, if not centuries, older than when they had last met.

"Just Elrohir. I'm sorry, Legolas. I hope that someday we meet again."

"Are you sure that this is to be your decision?"

"Yes. My home is with Belegtur now."

* * *

Review??? 


	16. Elven Hearts Part 3

Chapter 16  
Notes: Please review this if you read it. It only takes a couple of minutes and I would honestly like feedback. Thank you : )  
Thank you to the world's best beta: Plug in Delaney. I love you!!! You rock!  
Any other mistakes are fully my fault  
Warning: My beta has been complaining that there's no graphic, explicit sex in any of this. So this chapter does have some. My beta reader has assured me that it is still R-rated, though, but if I get complaints about it, I will replace it with a censored chapter.

* * *

"Have a safe journey," said Elrond to Haldir, who was just about to return to Lorien. "And make sure you come back soon."

"I think I can manage that."

Erestor smiled wickedly. "If Celeborn will let you out of the bedroom, that is."

Haldir playfully swatted at Erestor's head. "I don't find you funny."

"Of course you don't. But you'd better come visit me, too."

"Then you'd better keep an eye on Celeborn." Erestor licked his lips. "Just a warning."

"Erestor!" said Elrond, only half-serious. "Can you not keep your hands to yourself?"

"I would have thought you'd known me well enough to know that I can't."

"Good-bye," said Haldir, as he rode off to meet the twenty-six other Lorien warriors that had survived the four days of battle. He knew from now on that his journeys to Imladris would be pleasant, not something to be dreaded, as they had in the past. He looked back at Elrond and Erestor as they faded out of sight. He wouldn't be surprised if soon he found out they would bond. They had never been out of sight of each other since Erestor's accident. To the best of Haldir's knowledge, they had not actually slept together, but that would probably change. Haldir had also noticed the way Elladan glared at his father whenever they passed in the halls.

But all he really wanted to think about not was not the intrigues of Imladris or the battle they had just fought and won. He would much rather think about going home to see Celeborn and tell the elf how much he really loved him. To Haldir, that seemed much more worth his time.

* * *

Legolas had decided that there was no way he could leave Elrohir alone at the hands of that insane elf Belegtur. Bonded they might be, but that didn't mean Elrohir was safe around him. As all these rebel elves were going back home, though, Legolas knew he would have to come up with an excuse to be close to Elrohir and Belegtur.

So as Belegtur appeared to be heading home with Elrohir, Legolas stopped him.

"What do you want?" asked Belegtur harshly.

Legolas could see hate and evil in the eyes of that elf, but also a dream, something that was hard to find in the eyes of elves. Legolas realized that Belegtur really did believe in what he was doing. As strange as that seemed to Legolas, he knew he had to accept that others had different values and beliefs than him. "I would like to come back with you."

Belegtur frowned. "What do you mean?"

Legolas smiled conspiratorially and said, "Surely you are not giving up your Cause. We can still beat Elrond." He hoped that his voice was believable enough. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Elrohir smiling at him. Legolas also hoped that Belegtur did not notice that. He didn't want Elrohir to give him away, however accidentally.

Belegtur shook his head slowly. "Of course not."

"Then you will need all the help you can get." Legolas thought of a convenient lie that would explain away any odd behavior that he displayed. He was a good actor, but no one was perfect. "I served in King Thranduil's army, as a Captain. I know much of the way they think." It was even true.

Belegtur thought his over. "How am I to know that you are not a spy for Elrond or Thranduil or any of the others who would wish to see me dead."

"Because they kicked me out. I hate them all. I want to see them all dead, not you. I wish that I had the courage to be like you." Legolas could see that all this praise was working.

"Okay," said Belegtur finally. "You can come with us. But if I see the slightest sign that you mean me harm or are spying on me for anyone, I will kill you painfully."

Legolas smiled. "Well, you won't have to do that, because I am loyal. Thank you for allowing me to come with you." And now I can keep an eye on Elrohir so that when you're through with him, he won't die.

* * *

Erestor walked into his old rooms (for some reason, Elrond had never given them to anyone, despite the length of Erestor's absence) and slipped his formal robes over his head. He much preferred leggings and a shirt to robes, something that nearly everyone in Imladris knew and made fun of him for. But it was all good-natured, and Erestor had been surprised at how quickly everyone had welcomed him back. Though he had seen the looks some gave him and the whispers that stopped whenever he drew close. Still, he had lived long enough to know that he could not be popular with everyone.

He heard a slight noise behind him and turned around, suddenly realizing he was unarmed. But it was only Elladan, sitting on his bed completely nude. "Good day, Erestor," Elladan said calmly.

Erestor nodded a greeting as he headed for his wardrobe. But about halfway there, he felt a pair of arms wrap around his bare chest, lightly caressing. "There's no need to get dressed," a voice said softly into his ear.

"Elladan," said Erestor, completely unfazed by any of this. "Don't…"

"Don't what?" Elladan kissed Erestor's neck, his hand dropping to the top of Erestor's leggings. "Don't pretend that you aren't just like a whore, taking it from anyone who will give it." Elladan was shocked at the hatred in his own words or voice, but Erestor had ignored him for too long.

"I'm stronger than you will ever be…"

"But you don't want me to stop." Elladan could feel that Erestor was getting hard, and that only made him smile more. "In fact, if you tell me to stop right now, then I will."

That was not necessary, though, as for at that moment, the door opened and Elrond walked in. Elrond halted as soon as he saw the scene in front of him. Erestor was half naked and had Elladan wrapped around him. Elladan was naked and had a hand inside Erestor's leggings. Erestor, once he saw Elrond, stepped away from Elladan. But the damage was already done.

Elladan smiled to himself. This had been a plot on his part. He had left a note in his father's chambers telling him to come to Erestor's rooms directly. Maybe now his father would leave Erestor alone.

Elrond felt himself hating his son more than he ever had in the past. But he couldn't kill either of them. Instead, trying to make sure his voice didn't shake, he managed to say, "I apologize for interrupting." Then he made a quick retreat.

Erestor turned to face Elladan once Elrond had left. "What is this, Elladan? Unless I am much mistaken, you arranged for Elrond to come by while you were attempting to seduce me."

Elladan drew Erestor closer and kissed him deeply. Erestor did not fight Elladan and let Elladan push him back towards the bed. But when Elladan tried to remove Erestor's leggings, Erestor stopped him. "No," said Erestor, "we won't do this." He said it as calmly as though he was discussing the weather.

"Because you want my father?" asked Elladan critically. He pinned Erestor down on the bed, making both elves painfully aware that both were hard. "Despite the fact that he has never done this." Elladan lowered his head to kiss Erestor again. Erestor did not stop him. Nor did Erestor stop him as the kisses gently trailed down his throat and Elladan bit Erestor's neck so as to leave a mark for his father to see tomorrow.

Erestor wished that he had the power to say no. But he couldn't. He knew that, as Elladan had said so cruelly, he would take it from anyone offering it. He did have some power, though. He could be in control. He reversed their positions and saw the blissful look in Elladan's eyes. At that moment, he knew that Elladan was not a dominant elf in bed. He would have taken Erestor if he had to, but he would much prefer to be taken. Erestor pinned Elladan's hands above his head with one of his hands and then began a line of kisses from Elladan's throat to his navel, paying special attention to the nipples. Elladan moaned. Erestor smiled. He knew that he had complete control over this now. And that amused him. "How do you want it?" whispered Erestor in Elladan's ear, biting it lightly. Elladan shuddered at the action, bringing a broader smile to Erestor's face.

"Just take me," Elladan moaned.

Erestor had to suppress a laugh. "Hard?"

"Hard," Elladan agreed.

Now that that was agreed upon, Erestor wasted no time in getting his leggings off, freeing his own erection. His fingers gently caressed Elladan's not providing enough stimulation for anything, just drawing it out longer. Elladan moaned again. It did not seem that he was capable of coherent speech any longer. That was fine by Erestor. He kissed Elladan roughly before saying, "Touch yourself."

Elladan did as he was told, and drew his knees up to his chest, presenting himself for Erestor. Erestor could tell how badly Elladan wanted it, but he wasn't going to give in just yet. He would make Elladan realize what a mistake it was to do this first. So he pushed Elladan's knees back down, pushed Elladan's hand away from his erection, and resumed a painfully slow survey of Elladan's body.

"Gods," said Elladan. "Just do it."

"You wanted this," said Erestor, "you have to deal with the consequences of attempting to seduce me. Or do you not want me anymore…because we can stop this right now."

"Please," said Elladan faintly.

"Very well," said Erestor. He watched as Elladan drew his knees back up. Without waiting for Elladan to be completely aware of what was going to happen, and hoping sincerely that Elladan was not a virgin, Erestor took him hard. To his relief, he found that Elladan was no virgin. Elladan arched his back to encourage Erestor, but Erestor remained motionless for a good couple of minutes, savoring the look on Elladan's face. It made Erestor wonder briefly if Elrond would look the same. Not that he would ever find out, of course.

Finally taking pity on the much younger elf, he began to thrust, gently at first, and then harder. Elladan came first, with an incoherent moan that could have been just about anything. Erestor came a minute or so later. Almost immediately, he pulled out of Elladan and turned away, rising to his feet and walking to the bathroom to clean himself up. Elladan joined him a couple of minutes later, but Erestor refused to let Elladan touch him.

"Go to bed, Elladan," said Erestor.

"I'm staying tonight."

"No, you aren't."

Without another word, Elladan dropped to his knees and began to stroke Erestor. It wasn't long before Erestor was hard again. "Elladan," said Erestor in a warning tone of voice.

Elladan looked up, an almost innocent smile on his face. "Yes?"

Erestor shook his head. A part of him wished that he was stronger, but he wasn't. Leaning against the wall, he closed his eyes and smiled as Elladan began. He lasted longer this time, and moaned himself this time when he came. Elladan stood up and kissed Erestor hard. "See. Can my father give you that?" He walked out of the bathroom. "Now hurry up and come to bed," he called.

Erestor groaned. This was going to take a lot of explaining to Elrond to make it go away. But there was nothing he could do tonight. He might as well just go to bed and deal with all of this in the morning. That would be the easiest thing to do. So he walked out of the bathroom, over to the bed, and lay down, ignoring Elladan. There was no need to encourage him.

But Elladan snuggled up to him, and there was very little Erestor could do to stop him. So he pressed a light kiss to Elladan's forehead and wrapped an arm around Elladan's waist, holding him close all night long.

* * *

"So I can go home?"

"Yes," said Thranduil. "Reports have come to me that indicate the battle is over. And your father sent a personal message saying that he would like for you to come home.

Arwen smiled. "I'm so glad."

Author's note: The Arwen in my fic is nothing nothing nothing like the Arwen in the movie. My Arwen isn't a mindless bitch, she's sensitive and smart and funny. And I apologize to anyone that disagrees; you don't have to read this if you don't want to

Thranduil smiled as well. He would miss Arwen. She provided light to the at-times so depressingly gloomy Mirkwood. Without either Legolas or Arwen to liven things up, it would get to be terrible here. Thranduil could sense it already. "Oh, and I received some bad news, as well."

"Oh no. Is it ada?"

"No. But…ah…Glorfindel was killed. Your father is fine, though."

Arwen felt a tear trickling down her cheek. She vaguely remembered how upset her father had been when her mother had died. Even she had known that there was no love between them. But her father and Glorfindel had loved each other dearly. "Then I would very much like to go back home to comfort him."

Thranduil bit his tongue, knowing that if Erestor was back, as the report had also indicated, then Elrond would have no cause to be lonely. But Arwen knew nothing of Erestor, and he would not be the one to tell her. "I can arrange for you to leave in the morning."

"Thank you. That would be most welcome."

* * *

Elrond felt like Erestor had betrayed him. It was close to what he had felt when he had first seen Haldir and Erestor sleeping together. Only this was a million times worse. Elrond had seen the pure lust on Erestor's features. And he had seen the cold calculation on his son's. He had known, at that instant, that he had been meant to see that. Elladan was desperately trying to win Erestor, and he saw this to be a victory. But Elrond really did not want to play with Erestor's heart like that.

But after all I've had to go through, after everyone I've lost, you would think that the Valar would allow me this one small thing.

He found his fists clenched and relaxed himself. There was nothing he could do if Erestor wanted Elladan, save hope that their relationship failed. Though he hated to do that to Elladan. His son had been hideously unlucky in love. Erestor was not a good choice, then, in Elrond's mind. Erestor was by nature unfaithful. Elrond chastised himself in this thinking; Glorfindel had not appeared to be one who favored relationships, yet Elrond had forced him into monogamy. Perhaps Elladan could do what all others had failed to.

Now he lay sleepless in bed, wishing that he, not Elladan, had Erestor beside him this night. Then a gentle knock came on his door. Elrond ignored it the first time, the second time, and the third time. But the fourth time made him angry. He got out of bed, swept a dressing robe around his shoulders and went to the door.

It was Erestor.

Elrond closed the door in his face before he could say a word.

Erestor knocked again.

Taking a deep breath, Elrond opened the door again. "What do you want?"

"Can I come in?"

"You had best go back to Elladan. He will be furious if he knew you were here." Just as I would be.

"Can I come in?"

Elrond could never refuse Erestor anything, no matter how angry he was at Erestor. He stepped aside and allowed Erestor in. "What do you want?" he repeated after he closed the door.

"He caught me off-guard…"

"You didn't look like you were complaining when I walked in…"

"Dammit, Elrond, see some sense! Why would I want the son when I can have the father?"

"Is that how you see it? I don't think it is. I don't know what it is about you, Erestor, I don't know what happened in your past to make you like this, but you don't like to sleep alone. But more than that, you don't want to sleep with someone that cares about you. You want to get hurt, you want to hurt others. I want to help you…"

"And I am sick and tired of people like you trying to help me. I have survived thus far pretty decently, so I think that it will continue."

Elrond regretted saying that. "You don't want to be happy, do you?"

Erestor bit his lip in an uncharacteristically uncertain attitude. Elrond, through his anger, found the expression instantly endearing. "All I wanted when I came back here, before any of this mess began, was to come back to you and tell you that I loved you. Now that that's done, maybe I should leave again. I've seen the chaos that I cause everywhere I go. And it always ends up with us fighting and I can't stand that. I'm sorry…my lord, I will leave tomorrow." He headed towards the door.

But Elrond beat him there. "Don't be a fool."

Erestor did not look at him. "Please, my lord, don't make this…"

"My name is Elrond, Erestor. And you can forget all that crap you told me last time about boundaries. You crossed them the second I saw you with Elladan. The boundaries have already disintegrated."

"Don't make this harder than it has to be," continued Erestor as if Elrond had not interrupted..

"If you leave, I will be without a Chief Advisor."

"I am sure that you can find another, my lord," said Erestor, emphasizing the last two words.

Elrond frowned. "But not one nearly so good as you. I should have told you every day that I loved you. I shouldn't have given you time to put your walls up. I should have brought you to my bed centuries…millennia ago." He put a hand on Erestor's shoulder, but Erestor jerked back out of his reach.

"I will leave tomorrow morning."

Elrond sighed. "I will not hesitate to lock you in your rooms if you continue to threaten to leave." I'll even throw Elladan in, too, if you'd like.

"And you don't think I can pick a lock?" Erestor looked up and grinned. "My lord, if I wanted to leave, there's nothing that you could do to stop me."

"Except to tell you that I love you, too, and that I would do anything within my power…nay, even if it wasn't in my power to do, I'd find a way to do it for you, to keep you here. I never want you to leave again. I love you."

Erestor pushed past Elrond and out of the room. "Good night, my lord," he said, disappearing around a corner.

Elrond closed his eyes. _You went and did it again. You got angry with him and pushed him away. How is that you can find it in yourself to blame him when you fight when it is nearly always you that starts it?_ He returned to his cold, lonely bed, and wished for the millionth time that Erestor was there with him.

* * *

Elrohir was glad that Legolas was around. Belegtur had not appeared abusive at all, but nor had he paid any attention to Elrohir since they had arrived at a small apartment that apparently was Belegtur's home. Belegtur spent his days on the streets, begging, as much as he hated to do so, which left Elrohir and Legolas in the apartment together.

Legolas emerged from the bathroom, a grimace on his face. "How do they live like this?" He shuddered. "Remind me never to become poor."

Elrohir smiled involuntarily. "Well, we're the ones in charge. Why don't we do something about it?"

Legolas frowned at this attitude. "It's their fault they're poor. We have done nothing to them, they're just lazy criminals. They don't want to work. Why should we help those who have no desire to help themselves? Poverty is a choice, Elrohir."

Elrohir was confused by Legolas's stance. He would have thought that Legolas would agree with him. Now he realized, though, that his time with Belegtur had changed him. Even Elrond, who was seen as a progressive ruler, would probably no longer agree with him. "Belegtur stole a loaf of bread when he was younger, and for that he has not been able to hold a job…"

"Or could it be the alcohol? Or his laziness? Or his rebellious nature? Elrohir, I don't know what you see in Belegtur and I don't care to know. But you have to face the facts."

"No, what I see is the truth. What you see are the illusions that have been fed to you. I have been with these elves longer than you, I have heard them, I have listened to their problems. Most of them are no different than you or I. They have the same dreams, the same desires, the same wishes we do. Only we were born sons of great elves. They were born sons of nobodies. They are a product of their circumstances. If you or I had been born poor, we'd be just like them."

"You've changed, Elrohir."

"I've learned the truth."

"No, you've just woven a net of illusions around yourself." Legolas shook his head and walked out of the room. Elrohir had become just like them, and it scared Legolas.

* * *

Haldir pulled his exhausted horse to a stop. He had not allowed the elves any time to rest. He had just urged them on towards Lorien. The quicker he could get back there, he quicker he could see Celeborn. He had not allowed himself to dwell on the thought that Celeborn might not want to take him back. All of his elves knew exactly why he was in a hurry, and he heard more than one dirty joke about him. But he didn't care. All he cared about was getting back to Celeborn.

He almost went to see Celeborn as he was, but then decided that it would probably be best to bathe and change first. And then after he had bathed, he felt tired, so he went to his bed to take a nap. The next thing he knew it was dark outside. He had slept for most of the day. Sitting up in bed, he smiled, stretched, and got dressed. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he set off to go find Celeborn. And maybe some food.

The food took longer to find than Haldir would have thought possible. After he had eaten, it was almost too late to go find Celeborn. But Haldir really didn't want to spend the night alone. Still, he would feel bad about just walking into Celeborn's bedroom when he wasn't actually sure that he would be welcome there. Doubts flooded his mind, and he decided that it would probably just be best to go to bed.

* * *

Celeborn frowned. He knew that the few elves that had survived had returned to Lorien today. He had hoped that Haldir would seek him out. It didn't seem appropriate, somehow, for him to find Haldir. As the day went on, Celeborn found himself making all manner of excuses for Haldir choosing not to show up. At the evening meal, where Haldir was conspicuously absent, Celeborn seriously considered going to find him. But he decided that that wasn't the best option. It was quite plausible that Haldir just wasn't interested in him. Especially after the knowledge that Erestor was back.

Celeborn stayed up later than usual to see if Haldir wanted to come find him. Almost, he went to Haldir's rooms, to seek the elf out. But he decided he didn't want to do that. It would seem inordinately possessive of an elf that might not actually want him. So he went to his bed, wishing for Haldir, dreaming of Haldir. But when he woke up the next morning, Haldir was still not by his side.


	17. Elven Hearts Part 3

Chapter 17

Author's Note: It might be a while beforei submit any additions to any of my fics. Gotlots going onin my life right now.Sorry!! :(

>>>>>>>

Elrohir woke in a strange bed and was momentarily confused. Moreover, the bed was empty. Taking a deep breath, Elladan closed his eyes and tried to remember where he was.

And then it came to him.

He had finally managed to seduce Erestor. "Erestor?" he called.

There was no answer. Elladan rolled over, intending to go back to sleep. He felt the crinkle of parchment underneath his skin and pulled it out from under him. Rubbing his sleepy eyes he unfolded it. The note was brief and blunt, just the way that Elladan would have expected it.

I am leaving Imladris for a time. I shall return.

Elladan smiled and shook his head. He did not know enough of Erestor to know where he would go. But Elladan didn't want to go to his father with this just yet. His father might blame him, and the gods knew that it was not Elladan's fault. So he would keep quiet about this until his father specifically asked him.

Elladan got out of bed and stretched. It was getting light outside, so Elladan knew it was time to get up. The day looked good, so Elladan decided that he would spend it outside. Dressing in the clothes he had worn here last night and slipping the note into a pocket, he went back to his chambers. Once there, he bundled up in several layers. Though he could not feel cold, sometimes when it was cold outside his bones seemed to feel the cold and ached from it. So it was best just to dress warmly.

A knock on his door. "Come in." Secretly, he hoped it was Erestor.

But he had no such luck. His father walked in. "Where's Erestor?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he's not at the kitchens, he's not in his rooms, he's not, as far as I can tell, in your rooms, not in mine, not in his study, not in mine, not in the stables. I have exhausted a list of places where he might be."

"And why would I know where he was, father?" Elladan smiled insolently.

Elrond wanted to hit Elladan so badly at that point, to wipe that smile away. But he couldn't do that, so he just smiled and said, "Because he spent the night with you. You would probably be the last person to see him. So, where is he?"

"Gone." Elladan hadn't meant to tell his father quite so soon, but his father would have gotten it out of him sooner or later.

"Gone? Gone where?"

"I don't know." He produced the parchment and handed it to his father.

Elrond closed his eyes. "Erestor, I told you not to go." He sighed heavily. Then he gave the parchment back. "Thank you, Elladan. Now I must go find him." Elrond turned to leave.

"I could find him, father."

Elrond turned. "You know nothing of Erestor, you don't know where he'd run."

"I've bedded him, which, based on some rumors I've heard, is more than you ever managed to do." Elladan was shocked at how horrible he could be to his own father.

Elrond had never heard his son say anything so deliberately hurtful before. Fighting again the urge to lash out at his oldest, he instead said calmly, "I am still your father, Elladan. You need to remember that. And for that…comment, you're stuck here. I'm not going to allow you to leave."

Elladan's eyes widened, "Father…"

"It would be wise, Elladan, to learn on occasion how to hold your tongue. Perhaps this lesson will teach you." Without another word and not giving enough time for Elladan to retort, he swept out of Elladan's room. Erestor, where are you? I told you not to run, but when have you ever listened to me?

>>>>>>>>

Haldir woke up with a frown on his face. His bed was cold and empty. That was not the way he liked it. The knowledge that Celeborn was close and was still flagrantly not in his bed only hurt more. Sitting up, he wondered if he had managed to miss breakfast. If he had, there would be little plausible reason to see Celeborn all day. He was a Captain in the guards, but there were many of those, and that gave Haldir no real privileges when it came down to seeing Celeborn.

Throwing on the first clothes that came to hand, he raced down to the dining hall…to find the servants cleaning up. They really were very kind, and offered to find him food if he would like. _It's not food I want, it's bloody Celeborn._

Haldir knew he had no choice. He would have to seek Celeborn out in his study. With memories of what had happened the last time he had tried that floating around in his head, it was almost enough to make him want to go back to his room and get himself assigned on a patrol. But no. Stand up for yourself, Haldir, and what you care about. You just spent four days in hell. You deserve a reward.

So he walked down the hall to Celeborn's study. He took a deep breath, then raised a hand to knock on the closed door. Feeling doubtful, he lowered his hand again. Then, shaking his head and strengthening his resolve, he raised his hand and knocked firmly. An absurd voice inside of him prayed that Celeborn wasn't in there.

Then Celeborn's musical voice called, "Enter."

Haldir took a deep breath. He could enter, or he could run away. But he had never run away from anything his entire life. This seemed like a lousy time to start running from things. So, marshalling all his courage, he opened the door and stepped inside. "My lord."

"Where were you yesterday?"

"Recovering, my lord." Could it be that he wanted me to seek him out yesterday? Does he still love me?

"So what can I do for you, Haldir?" Celeborn was having some difficulty controlling himself, but he had been a diplomat for millennia, so he just pretended that Haldir was a foreign ambassador. That meant that he could, that he had to push any and all emotion beneath the surface.

This didn't sound much like a good start for Haldir to apologize or beg for forgiveness. Haldir knew at that instant that Celeborn didn't want him back. There was no point humiliating himself. But he couldn't just walk out. He had to think of some reason for him to be here. Then the perfect reason came to mind. "I wanted to know if I would receive a new command. The elves I took to Imladris were most of the men under my command, and only twenty-some are left."

All he wants is a new command? Could he really be that heartless? "Well, you managed to get your first command killed. Do you really think you deserve another chance?" Celeborn was trying to think desperately of an excuse to turn the conversation from professional matters to more personal ones. He could think of none.

"Yes, I do deserve another chance."

"Why?"

"You were not at Imladris, my lord. You have no idea the bloodshed. I have seen nothing so bad since the Last Alliance. I count myself fortunate that I was not killed along with most of my command. As it is, I spent several days in bed recovering from a blow that could have killed me."

And I don't know what I would have done if you'd been killed. "Give me some time to think about it. Come to see me after the evening meal, I will had made up my mind by then. And hopefully, I will have thought of a way to break through this barrier that you have created. I will win you back, Haldir of Lorien. You will be mine.

"Very well, my lord." Haldir was almost in tears when he left. He didn't know how he was going to stand being in Lorien all day every day knowing that Celeborn was so close, yet so hopelessly far away.

>>>>>>>>

Erestor rode hard. It was a good day for riding, and he knew he would make good time. He was returning home, to his farm. Once again, he had caused chaos in Imladris and had brought Elrond and his son almost to blows. That he couldn't stand. So it was best for him to just disappear. More than anything, he had wanted last night to stay with Elrond. He couldn't do that, though, he couldn't hurt Elladan the way he had hurt Elrond so many times. So he had to leave.

It was just after midday that he reached his small house. With a warm smile, he stabled his horse in the small stable, walked into the house and fetched food for his small number of animals. He had left them plenty when he had left before, but they had nearly run out. After feeding them, he bathed and changed into a fresh set of clothes. There would be work to do later, but right now he just wanted to relax. This life was so much simpler than his old one. He would much rather be Erestor, the farmer, than Erestor, Chief Advisor to Lord Elrond.

It was growing dark when the knock came on the door. Taking his dagger to hand (he very rarely had visitors), he went to the door. "Who is it?" he called.

"A traveler looking for help," said an unfamiliar voice. "I just need some directions."

Erestor smiled and opened the door, but his jaw dropped when he saw who it was. "Elrond?"

Elrond seemed considerably surprised to. "Erestor? What are you doing here?"

"I live here. This is where I have lived since you exiled me."

"Can I come in?"

Erestor shook his head. "I don't think that that would be a good idea. You should go back to Imladris. They need you there."

"Not so much as I need you there. Come back with me, Erestor."

"My life is here, my lord."

"What life is this? As a farmer? I can give you so much more, Erestor, and you know it. I would give you anything and everything you asked for…"

"Has it not occurred to you, my lord, that I just wish to live a simple life? I spent millennia dealing with the intrigues of living in Imladris. And then I spent about a millennia here. This life is much more preferable."

"Fine," said Elrond. "If you wish to be a coward, I will leave you here." He turned from the door and began to walk away.

"A coward?" asked Erestor. "When have I ever been a coward? Did I ever leave your side during the Last Alliance? When we were in Imladris, did I ever shirk the worst duties you tried to give me? Did I leave your son's side during the last battle?"

"I will not deny any of your claims," said Elrond, continuing to walk away. "But you remain a coward nonetheless."

"State your charges." Erestor really didn't want to chase after him, but soon Elrond would be out of hearing range. So he stepped out of the door and began to walk towards Elrond, who had stopped. Erestor stopped at just the point that he could be heard, and no closer.

Elrond sighed at Erestor's stubbornness. "You won't come back to Imladris to face my son after you slept with him. You won't come back to Imladris to face me and tell me you love me. In battle, you are no coward, Erestor, but when it comes down to love, you are the biggest coward there ever was."

"Who said I loved you?"

"You did, last night."

Erestor nodded, remembering his admission. "That's not why I left."

"Really?"

"Really."

"So tell me why you left, then."

"This is my life now. Just as I would not have willingly left Imladris before you exiled me, now I will not leave here unless I must. This is my home."

Elrond shook his head. "Fine. I can't convince you to come back with me and I won't try. Either you do or you don't. It's pretty clear to me that you don't want to." Elrond paused for a long moment. "But you are always welcome in Imladris."

Erestor really didn't want to break down and agree to go with Elrond, but he sensed that Elrond would make no more attempts. "Come here."

"You come here."

"My land, my rules. Come here."

Elrond realized that they were about half a mile from the border of Imladris. This was indeed Erestor's land. He relented and walked over to Erestor. "What?" He could see the look of terrible indecision on Erestor's face and wanted to know what decision Erestor was struggling with so that he could help him.

Erestor reached out and touched Elrond's cheek lightly, almost timidly. "I think I want to kiss you."

Elrond smiled, leaned forward to kiss Erestor, but Erestor backed away. Trying not to sound too frustrated, Elrond asked, "Well, why don't you?"

Erestor smiled. "Let's go back to Imladris."

"It's dark, Erestor. It's late. We've both been riding all day. Let's stay here tonight and go home tomorrow."

"I only have one bed. I live alone, you see. Now, come on."

"I don't see a problem with that." Elrond caressed Erestor's cheek, then his hand dropped to rest on Erestor's shoulder. "But we can go, if you would like."

"Yes. Let's go."

Cursing Erestor under his breath for being so unnecessarily stubborn, Elrond waited patiently for Erestor to retrieve his horse. Absent-mindedly, he petted his own horse, thinking about how tired she was and how he could make it up to her. After a good twenty minutes, Erestor emerged. "Where have you been?"

"Seeing to some matters."

Elrond shook his head. He wasn't in the mood to have a long, convoluted conversation with Erestor. He was just too tired.

>>>>>>>>>

Haldir had caught Celeborn staring at him during the evening meal. That seemed to tell him that Celeborn still wanted him. So, instead of eating, he formulated a plan. Celeborn was much older than him, and could be much more cunning. Haldir grinned; he was going to enjoy this.

Taking his time after dinner, arranging things, he waited nearly an hour after dinner had finished before returning to Celeborn's study. He knocked on the door.

"Enter."

Haldir walked in, a cocky smile on his face. "So, have you made your decision?"

Celeborn nodded. "Yes."

Haldir nodded as well. He walked closer to Celeborn. He knew that if he lost his nerve at this point, he would never forgive himself. "I've made a decision of my own."

"Have you now?"

Haldir walked closer. He had almost reached Celeborn. "I've decided that our fight was stupid."

Celeborn felt his heart begin to race. Was Haldir still interested? "Is that it?"

Haldir sat on the side of Celeborn's desk. "No."

"Then by all means, go on."

"I have also decided that it would be in your best interests to take me back."

Celeborn raised an eyebrow but could not suppress the smile on his face. "Oh, really? And why would that be?"

Haldir licked his lips. "Because I can give you what you need."

"There are many others who could do the same."

"True, but most of those others would want something as well. A higher position in court, more land, etcetera."

"And you don't want anything extra, is that right?"

Haldir grinned. "Right."

"But I find a flaw here."

"Where?"

"You asked me for another command. I think that you believe that if you sleep with me you stand a better chance of getting it."

Haldir hadn't realized that until right now. "Do I?"

"But now you've proved yourself to be just like all the others."

Haldir knew that this was the last time he could back away from what he had created. But he decided not to. He slipped off the desk into Celeborn's lap and kissed him…right as Galadriel walked in.

Barely managing to contain her amusement and certainly failing to suppress the laugh, she managed to say, "I'm sorry, Celeborn, Haldir, I should have knocked first."

Haldir backed away quickly. He had known that Galadriel didn't mind if Celeborn found an occasional male lover, but that knowledge and actually being caught in the act were two different things. Stumbling to find his voice, he finally managed to say, "Celeborn, I'll…see you later…tomorrow."

Celeborn grinned. "I'd best see you tonight, if you know what's good for you." The statement was well worth the deep blush he immediately saw stain Haldir's face.

>>>>>>>>>

Elrohir heard Belegtur enter and forced a smile onto his face. Belegtur had a temper, and when he had been begging all day, he was much more likely to grown angry. But Elrohir had to go to greet him or he would be angrier. "Hello, Belegtur."

Belegtur actually smiled. "Elrohir. I saw your brother today."

"Elladan? How is he?"

"How would I know? Do you think someone like him would deign to talk to someone like me?"

Elrohir could sense a rage coming on. "Come on, Belegtur, you know I don't agree with them anymore. I'm trying to fight them as much as you are."

Belegtur nodded. Then a huge, knowing smile appeared on his face. "You are loyal to me?"

"I have no choice."

"Then you shall return to your father."

"Why?"

"I will always be glad for information from the inside. You will be my spy. You'll come back here once a week to tell me everything you find out. I want to know weaknesses, strengths, everything." A long pause. "And before you think about getting there and betraying me…if I find out that you do…I don't care if I die…I'll kill myself, kill you, too. Understand."

Elrohir nodded. "Fine. I'll go and spy for you."

>>>>>>>>>

Elrond and Erestor had just reached the courtyard and were getting ready to go to bed, as both were exhausted, when an elf came out and said, "Lord Elrond, your daughter has returned and would much like to speak with you."

Elrond involuntarily groaned. As much as he loved his daughter, he just wanted to sleep. "Very well." He looked at Erestor and grinned. "And you're coming with me."

Erestor frowned. "I don't even know Arwen."

"I don't care. If I don't get to sleep, neither do you."

Erestor grinned at Elrond's sleep-distorted logic. "Very well, my lord."

The two followed the other elf to Elrond's study, where Arwen was lounging in her father's chair. Elrond smiled when he saw her; she had been gone for nearly two years. "Arwen, I have missed you."

She jumped out of the chair and hugged Elrond tightly. "I missed you too, ada." Then she saw the elf standing in the doorway. At first, she thought he was no one, but then she saw the way the elf looked at her father. She broke away from her father and asked, "I don't think we have met."

Not trusting Erestor to make a suitable introduction, Elrond said, "Arwen, this is my new Chief Advisor, Erestor."

Arwen could definitely tell that Erestor was more than just a Chief Advisor. And she was upset; Glorfindel had just died, and her father had already found himself a new lover? That just wasn't right. "Well met, Erestor."

"Lady Arwen."

"You can just call me Arwen."

"Yes, my lady."

Arwen looked to her father for an explanation. Elrond smiled and said, "That's just the way he is." A long pause. "Now, if it's not too much to ask, I have been riding all night…and all of yesterday. I would very much like to sleep and I will talk to you…later."

"That would be fine, ada." She waited to see if Erestor and her father went off together.

Then her father and Erestor had a conversation that surprised her.

"Erestor, tell Elladan that I'm sorry for what I said to him yesterday."

Erestor smiled. "He probably deserved it."

"Yes, he did."

"Well, I'll be sure to make him pay for it tonight."

"Don't hurt him."

"If you say so, my lord." Erestor grinned. "Good night...or whatever."

"Don't run off again."

"Yes, my lord. I'll see you later."

"Wake me for the evening meal."

"As you wish."

Arwen frowned as they walked off in opposite directions. Was Erestor_ Elladan's_ lover? But Erestor had to be her father's age. What was Elladan thinking? She shook her head. Sometimes her big brother had less sense than a rock.

>>>>>>>>

PLEASE REVIEW!! ALSO, DO YOU THINK THAT THIS IS TOO LONG AND THAT I SHOULD JUST END IT? BECAUSE I HAVE AN ENDING (KIND OF) THAT I COULD USE AFTER ONLY TWO OR THREE MORE CHAPTERS, OR I COULD GO ON FOR ANOTHER UNTOLD NUMBER OF PAGES AND CHAPTERS. I WOULD PREFER TO GO ON FOR LONGER, BUT I WILL LEAVE IT UP TO YOU, THE REVIEWERS. IF YOU ARE TIRED OF THIS FIC, THEN I WILL BY ALL MEANS STOP IT!!


	18. Elven Hearts Part 3

Chapter 18

Author's Note: Votes are in...and the story will continue. Don't say I didn't warn you about the consequences...there's no turning back now. This fic could go on a really long time. Elrond, Erestor are the rest are just begging me to finish their story in the best way possible (or something like that).

Other Note: All my update schedules and other info will be on my bio page.

* * *

Haldir woke up in a bed not his own. He began to sit up, but found his attempts futile, mainly because there was an arm wrapped tightly around his waist, prohibiting nearly all movement. He grinned. "Wake up," he said, fighting again to get away.

Of all things, the arm tightened its grip. "I'm sleeping," said the voice behind him.

"Of course you are. Get up…or at least let me get up."

"Something important to do today?" The arm loosened its grip, but Haldir did not attempt to escape. There was no point.

"No…"

"So you can stay here as long as I want."

"Just because you're my lord doesn't mean you can order me around."

"Actually, because I'm your lord I have every right to order you around."

"Fine…but that doesn't mean I like it."

Celeborn smiled and pulled Haldir over until Haldir was practically on top of him. "You know what, I think you like it a lot."

Haldir contorted into a more comfortable position to kiss Celeborn. "I thought you were sleeping."

"Until you tried to move, I was." Celeborn kissed Haldir again. "But now you've woken me up, so I have to find something to do with you."

There was a knock on the door. Celeborn and Haldir separated, and Celeborn called, "Enter."

It was another Captain of the guards. He saw Haldir in Celeborn's bed and smiled. Obviously he had not known about the relationship. "During the night, we had a…ah…an orc invasion."

Both Celeborn and Haldir sat up, both trying to formulate an appropriate response. Haldir beat Celeborn to it and asked, "How many and how far did they get?"

"Oh, a good number, Haldir, and they got well in. They've killed a couple companies of guards so far."

Celeborn closed his eyes. "Why was I not woken as soon as it happened?" Aside from the fact that I would have told anyone to go away…but that's not the point.

The look on the captain's face made it seem like he knew exactly what was going through Celeborn's mind. But he did not say it. "Word just reached us, my lord. I thought it wise to inform you."

"Very well. You can go now." As soon as the captain disappeared, Celeborn muttered a curse.

"I'm going to go to deal with it…"

"Absolutely not, Haldir. I love you…"

"And I love you, too. But that doesn't mean I'm going to shirk my duties. I am one of your best captains, Celeborn. I can't just stay here. Everyone would know why I didn't go. I couldn't live with myself if that happened…"

"So you'd rather go get yourself killed!"

"I don't want to fight with you, Celeborn. But I am going." He leaned over to kiss Celeborn, but Celeborn turned his head away. Haldir sighed in frustration. "What do you want me to do, Celeborn? I can't just be your decadent little plaything. You know that."

Celeborn nodded. "Just don't get killed."

* * *

Elrond awoke to a knocking on the door. "Come in," he called. Whoever it happened to be was just going to have to deal with him still being in bed.

"My lord?" came Erestor's voice.

"I'm in bed," he called back.

Erestor appeared at the bedroom door. "It's nearly time for the evening meal. Or so Elladan tells me."

"Come here."

Erestor raised an eyebrow. "Why would I want to do that?"

"Because I want to pretend to know what it's like to wake up with you in my bed. Now come here and get in bed."

Erestor chuckled. "If you say so, my lord." He walked over and sat down on the bed beside Elrond. Elrond pulled him down so they were lying next to each other. Elrond put an arm around Erestor and rested his head on Erestor's shoulder. "You know, we don't have to go to the evening meal."

"I think your daughter would be most upset. You should have seen the looks she was giving me earlier."

Elrond grinned, though Erestor couldn't see it. "I don't really care what she thinks of who I choose to share my bed with." He closed his eyes again.

"You really are still tired, aren't you?"

"Mmm…take off your shirt."

Erestor frowned at the request, but did so. Elrond snuggled back up to him and closed his eyes again. Erestor found himself drifting off and considered what a good idea it would be to spend more time in Elrond's bed. Erestor pressed a kiss to Elrond's hair. "Go to sleep, then."

"You just kissed me."

"I have kissed you before. Remember, when Glorfindel first came…"

"Mmm, I remember. Shuttup and go to sleep."

No sooner had both elves settled down than the door crashed open. Elrond looked up sleepily, hoping that it was not Elladan. Or Arwen.

It was worse.

It was Elrohir.

"Father, what…by the Valar, what are you doing?"

Erestor sat up, regarding Elrohir silently. He rubbed his eyes, smiled at Elrond, then leaned over to retrieve his shirt. "It's good to meet you, Master Elrohir."

"Who are you?" Elrohir had been good friends with Glorfindel and it wounded him deeply to see that his father had already found a replacement. "Father, Glorfindel has only been dead a few days…"

"Elrohir, this is Erestor, my Chief Advisor."

Elrohir shook his head in denial. What he wanted was for everything to go back to normal. He wanted Glorfindel to be here, not this strange elf with too-sad eyes. "Elladan…Elladan sent me here to tell you to come to the evening meal."

"Come on, my lord," said Erestor, pulling his shirt back on. "We'll be right down, Elrohir."

Elrohir fled the room.

Erestor fell backwards onto the bed with an overly theatric groan. "Why do all your children hate me, Elrond?"

Elrond ran a hand across Erestor's hair. "I don't know…and I don't care."

Erestor looked up at Elrond with a smile on his face, sensing what was coming.

"I love you, and that's what matters to me."

Erestor reached up and took Elrond's hand. "Love you, too."

"So you'll come back tonight?"

Erestor sat up and shook his head. "No, I won't." He walked to the door. "Now come on, Elrond, if we're any later your children may kill me."

* * *

Legolas had a big problem. And his name was Belegtur. He had found out that Belegtur had sent Elrohir away. So now he was stuck here with Belegtur. He had no good reason to leave, but he certainly didn't want to be stuck here with a lunatic. Still, Elrohir would be back once a week, and Legolas really would like to check up on Elrohir from time to time.

So he had a choice. He could stay with Belegtur and suffer just to make sure that Elrohir was okay. Or he could leave and go back to his life of luxury in Mirkwood. He knew that he should want to help Elrohir out. But Elrohir wasn't even family, not even really that good of a friend. He was just an elf that got stuck in some really lousy circumstances. So Legolas disappeared one night and set off to go home. It had been too long. He was sorry for what might happen to Elrohir, but he had to go home.

* * *

Elrohir and Arwen shared a glance during the meal that called for a meeting of Elrond's children. They did this occasionally. Elladan looked a little confused, which surprised both of the other two. They would have thought that the oldest, most boisterous child of the family would be the most vocal in denouncing Erestor, who sat by Elrond's side, nearly always involved in some private, apparently intensely amusing conversation with Elrond.

After the meal, all three went to Elladan's room, where they had always met.

"We have to get rid of that Erestor," said Elrohir.

"Something just isn't right about him," agreed Arwen.

"I caught him and ada in bed together. When I went up to go fetch ada for the meal. And neither of them looked even a little ashamed."

Elladan sighed. "He should know better."

"Yes, he should," agreed Elrohir. "Our father…"

"I'm not talking about our father. I'm talking about Erestor."

"What do you mean?" asked Arwen, a little confused. Still, Elladan had been here when Erestor had arrived (whenever that had been) and so probably had better information than herself or Elrohir.

"Father and I…we are engaged in a…competition, I guess you could call it…for Erestor. He spent the night with me two nights ago, so I suppose father thought that it was his turn."

"Doesn't it bother you that ada is sleeping with Erestor?" demanded Elrohir.

Elladan grinned. "I fear nothing there. Father has never slept with Erestor before." Then he remembered that his siblings didn't know Erestor's whole story. "Erestor was father's Chief Advisor before Glorfindel came. Then he was exiled for…ah…for raping Glorfindel. And now he's back…"

"And so you think we should allow this monster to stay?" demanded Arwen furiously.

Elrohir had always been the calmest of the three. He thought this over and finally said, "I think we should give him a chance." He shrugged. "If we can't get used to him, we'll find some way to get rid of him."

Arwen didn't look at all happy. "As long as ada doesn't sleep with him."

"Yes," agreed Elladan. "Let's just leave Erestor in peace until we know for certain what kind of elf he really is."

* * *

Haldir was really starting to regret his rash decision to go out and fight the orcs. There were so many of them and so many elves were dying. It was worse than what he had just experienced at Imladris. Celeborn had warned him not to get killed, and Haldir had just laughed and asked Celeborn what he planned to do to him if he did get killed. Celeborn had not replied.

This was no place for jokes, though. This was a place where battle and death roamed freely. Haldir had no time for any thoughts other than those of killing. He saw elves fall but did not fall himself. He killed and killed and killed until his sword and clothes were covered in orc blood. And he kept on going.

When night fell, the orc attacks seemed to dissipate a little and Haldir caught a few hours of sleep. He really regretted not being able to see Celeborn tonight. He would do anything to make sure that he got to in the future. But that meant he couldn't die. So many elves had died out here already, good elves with lots of experience, some had more than Haldir. There was no reason for Haldir to expect to survive. He called on the Valar to protect him. He didn't know if they would hear his call, or if they would do anything about it, but it helped him to sleep to think that they would.

The orcs fell upon them again before dawn, and Haldir got up along with all the others. He fought until his mind was numb of everything. He fought until he could no longer see straight. All he could see were the orcs coming and coming and coming and there was nothing he could do to stop them because he was just one elf and more and more elves were dying every minute and there was nothing he could do to stop it. There was nothing he could do.

Nothing, except fight, and kill, and die.

* * *

Elrond was working in his study, feeling surprisingly tired for having slept most of the day, when he heard the door open. Involuntarily, his muscles began to tense. Was this some last lone rebel come to see him dead. Any other would have knocked or at least announced himself (or herself) at the door. Elrond's hand crept below the desk, to rest on a dagger that out of some paranoiac fear he had always kept there.

As the figure reached him, his fingers curled around the dagger…

Loving hands rested on his shoulders. "Isn't it a bit late for working?"

Elrond's hand left the dagger and he smiled at his own fears. "Erestor. You shouldn't sneak up on people."

"I always have."

"I had forgotten about that."

"Are you busy?"

"It would depend on what you would like from me." I can be as un-busy as I like. I am the Lord of Imladris. "I really don't have anything pressing."

Erestor leaned down to whisper in Elrond's ear. "Let's go to bed, then." Delicately, he kissed the almost-pointed ear. It sent shivers down Elrond's spine.

"Are you playing me again, Erestor?" asked Elrond, finding it very hard to keep any kind of grip on his emotions. What he really wanted was to turn around, grab Erestor, and take him right here, before Erestor could come up with a convenient excuse not to.

"No."

Elrond involuntarily licked his lips. "I'm sure that I…that all of this can wait until the morrow."

A knock on the door. Elrond groaned loudly, meriting a brilliant smile from Erestor. "Come in," said Erestor.

It was Elrohir. He scowled when he saw how close Erestor was to his father. "Erestor, my brother wishes to see you." Together, the three of them had figured out ways to keep Erestor from ever having a chance with their father.

"Will it wait until the morning?" asked Erestor evenly, stepping back from Elrond. Really, he didn't want to cause such hostility in Imladris. He had done enough of that.

Elrohir shook his head. "I fear it will not. Please go to him."

Erestor nodded shortly. "Then I must go. My lord, I will see you in the morning."

Elrond knew the game his children were playing and he knew that Erestor knew as well. And just when I came so close to getting what I finally wanted, it's snatched away from me. The Valar must hate me. He immediately chastised himself for that thought.

When Erestor was gone, Elrohir walked right up to his father. "Glorfindel is only just dead. How can you?"

"I loved Erestor long before Glorfindel ever arrived in Imladris. And you are my son; you should learn to accept my choices, they are not for you to question."

"Ah, but it seems that they are for Elladan to question. Just because he fought for you and I was held hostage does not make me any less your son." Belegtur was really right about some things. My father is so blind and so wrapped up in his own little world. Maybe it would be better without him.

"I know that, Elrohir, and I love you dearly, but Elladan has no power to question me, either."

"Just to sleep with the elf that you love?"

"Don't pretend innocence. I know what plot the three of you are playing out. It won't work."

"Worked pretty well this time."

"I was caught off-guard. It won't work next time. Go to bed, Elrohir. I wish you good dreams." Elrond got to his feet. He felt like throwing one of his rather infamous tantrums. But this was not the time.

"Good night, father."

As Elrond left, Elrohir thought about how easy it would have been to kill his father. Then he hated himself for thinking that. He is your father? How could you kill him? The answer his brain gave him was sickening: 'Easily.'

* * *

Legolas smiled when he saw his father. "It has been so long," he said.

Thranduil studied him. "You look different."

"Well, I believe it was on your orders that I changed my appearance, father."

His father smiled, but then shook his head. "That's not what it is. I don't know what it is, but something about you is different." That's a lie. I know what it is. You have seen war and death and kinslaying. Something you should have never had to see. Something I wish I could have spared you from. "Welcome home."

Legolas grinned. "I'm so glad. Those rebels…it was like they think the world is completely backwards. They want to change everything."

"That's what makes them rebels, Legolas," said Thranduil gently.

"And you know what's the worst part?"

"Hmm?"

"Elrohir believes it all." He was somehow reluctant to tell his father all that had transpired between Elrohir and Belegtur. That was private, and for Elrohir to share with whom he chose. "I don't know what it is, but he believes it."

Thranduil shook his head. "He is young. He will grow out of it."

"Perhaps. Or perhaps he will cause terrible strife in Imladris, being Elrond's son and all."

Thranduil considered this. Was it enough to merit a warning to Elrond? He did not, after all, want to be viewed as a coward. But something this serious could destroy Imladris. "Thank you, Legolas. Lord Elrond should be warned."

Legolas nodded. He liked Elrohir, but some things were above friendship. And this was one of them.

* * *

Elrond went to his cold empty bed and dreamed of killing his sons.

That was not all he dreamed of though.

He had the strangest dream, one that almost seemed as though he were awake. He dreamt that he sat up in his bed. He was still alone, but there was another in the room with him. Frantically, he searched the room, for he could sense another presence, but could see no one.

"Relax, meleth," said that ever-familiar voice.

"Glorfindel?" asked Elrond. Now he knew he was in a dream.

Glorfindel appeared at the end of the bed. "Yes. I cannot stay for long; Mandos was reluctant to let me even do this. But you must know."

"Know what?" Elrond wished that he could reach out, touch Glorfindel, but even his dream self knew that that would be pointless.

"Those rebels have not lost faith. Their leader has a new plan. I cannot tell you what it is, but it has the power to destroy you, Elrond. Watch your back. Those that love you, don't always. And…Mandos doesn't want me to tell you this, but there's a prophecy about you. You have the fate of the elves in your hands…well, no, that's not true, at least not according to what Mandos says…"

Elrond smiled at his lover's rambling. "Do you remember the prophecy, Glorfindel?"

Glorfindel recited it to him from memory. That just wasn't the kind of thing you forgot.

Elrond frowned. "I'll have to think about that. Thank you for seeing me again, Glorfindel, even if this is all in my head."

"I love you, Elrond."

"Love you, too." A cheery expression appeared on his face. "Oh, and I'm not supposed to tell you this, either, but I will because I love you."

"Tell me what?"

"You will be getting a visitor within a week or two. He will be of great help in the oncoming crisis."

Elrond grinned. "Thank you, meleth."

"Make me a promise, Elrond."

"Whatever you would like."

"Don't let Elladan have Erestor. He's not worth the likes of Erestor. Being dead and all, I can see a lot more than the living…when Mandos wants to let me, that is, which is rare enough. He doesn't love him, though I'd guess you'd know that. His heart is not pure. Yours is. As is Erestor's. I…I hurt him badly when we were both younger. Only you can break those barriers down. The Erestor I met was the sweetest, most wonderful elf on Arda. Don't let him push you away again. He loves you."

"And I love him as well."

"Good. Now I bid you sweet dreams, my love."

Elrond woke suddenly. He took a deep breath. The real question was whether or not the dream was real. Had Mandos really allowed Glorfindel to visit him in his sleep? Or was this all some product of his sleep-deprived, Erestor-deprived mind? Only time would tell.

* * *

Haldir felt the spirit leave the elf he was cradling in his arms, now no more than a husk, a shell of what it had once been. A tear left his eye unbidden, but he did not bother to wipe it away. They had all shed too many tears already. To not do so would be strange.

I just want it all to go away. I want to go back to Celeborn. He can keep me safe. I don't ever want to fight again. I have been fighting all my life. I'm so tired…tired of war, and death, and killing, and sorrow. I'm so tired.

That was the thought going through his head when the orc archer smiled cruelly and shot his last arrow. It pierced Haldir's throat. Then a passing orc saw that Haldir was nearly dead and opened his back all the way down to the spine. An agonized expression appeared on Haldir's face as he dropped to his knees. I'm so tired.

He heard voices all around him, but he couldn't understand. Slowly, the pain began to sink into him. A moan of agony escaped his lips. As the elvish camp was overrun, an orc saw that Haldir was not quite finished and struck Haldir on the head with his sword. Haldir's head split and he fell face-first onto the ground.

I'm so tired.

* * *

REVIEW??? SHOULD HALDIR STAY DEAD OR WILL I HAVE TO COME UP WITH SOME EXTRAVAGANTLY IMPLAUSIBLE EXCUSE TO BRING HIM BACK? LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!! 


	19. Elven Hearts Part 3

Chapter 19…  
…finally

Thank you to all my loyal reviewers. I don't deserve any of you.  
Note: I know it's been kind of unclear, so let me clarify a couple things:  
1. Flashbacks are in italics, and so are people's thoughts  
2. Yes, i know that i'm keeping things about Erestor deliberately vague. I do know why he's important, but it would ruin the story if I were to just come out and tell you. All will be revealed in due time.  
3. As i have not yet decided how to deal with haldir, don't expect him to show up anytime within the next couple of chapters.  
4. I love all of you for reviewing...or just for reading.

* * *

"_You must go to war. The Last Alliance is failing," said Galadriel softly. She could see the sorrow in Elrond's face. Elrond was a scholar and a healer. Though he was but young, he was well-known to most elves. Imladris was widely hailed as one of the most beautiful places in Middle Earth and Elrond as one of the best rulers. _

_Elrond looked at Galadriel, not quite understanding. It wasn't that he didn't believe the situation was dire. He knew it was, and he knew that every elf was expected to do everything they could to help the war effort. A frown creased his unlined face and he shook his head slightly in denial of some unasked question. It wasn't even that he really was anti-war. Sauron was a great menace, and deserved to be killed. It was just that Elrond had basic swordsmanship skills, modest archery skills, and dreadful strategic and tactical skills. He didn't see how he would be of any use in a war. He knew that he could be much more productive elsewhere. But Galadriel had a much stronger ability than he to see the future, and so he would always assume that she would know best. "Tell me why."_

_Galadriel seemed to think about this for a few precious seconds. She had a monumental choice to make: she knew how headstrong Elrond could be when he was determined to know something and so it seemed that she must tell him the reason, but to tell him the reason might bring about the downfall of elves in Middle Earth. She looked at Elrond's hard, resolute face. It was laughable that Elrond considered himself a terrible leader; he was the type of elf that others followed without question, no matter how right or wrong his decisions were. "You must go to war…because you will meet the elf that holds the future of Middle Earth in his hands." She saw what Elrond was thinking and added, "And it isn't Gil-Galad."_

_Elrond smiled in spite of himself. He could tell that Galadriel was being deliberately vague. "So if this elf is so important, why must I meet him…if it is a him."_

"_Yes, it is."_

"_So why is it important that I meet him?" Elrond frowned in frustration. Galadriel was like a mentor to him, but that didn't mean she couldn't get annoying at times._

_Galadriel shook her head. "I cannot tell you that, Elrond. All I can tell you is that if you do not go to war, Middle Earth will fall to Sauron."_

_Elrond smiled again. "So, truly, isn't it I who hold the fate of Middle Earth in my hands?" He raised a knowing eyebrow._

"_Perhaps for a short while, yes. Now, does that convince you to go to war?"_

_Elrond had known when he had been summoned in to see Galadriel that he would end up going to war. Up until now, he had sent supplies, but no warriors, and had allowed no citizen of Imladris anywhere near anywhere that could be construed as a battle area. He knew that that had made him very unpopular with many important people, but it kept his people safe and alive…for now. He sensed that Galadriel was more disappointed in him for his lack of responsibility towards the rest of the elves than angry at him for doing what he had done. "You will not let me leave until I have agreed."_

"_True enough. But it will be worth it, Elrond. I swear that to you."

* * *

_

It was so quiet out here now, moments before the sun began to show above the horizon. The grass was wet underfoot and made a slight squishing sound as he strolled through it. There was a slight breeze, enough to play with the braids in his air, not quite enough to mess them up. The sword in his hand was heavy, in its own way, but it was a familiar weight. His clothes were loose and light. If he closed his eyes, he could almost imagine that everything in life made sense. The sweet perfume of the earth invaded his senses and made him smile.

He heard footsteps behind him, just as soft as his own. Slowly, unafraid, he turned to face whoever it was. He had to fight the grimace that threatened to appear on his face when he saw Elrohir. He couldn't help but frown when he saw the sword in Elrohir's hand. "Good morning, Elrohir."

"'Tis early to be up, Erestor."

"It's so peaceful like this. Not as…distracting as other times of the day."

Elrohir raised his sword. "How skilled are you with a sword?"

"I have a fair amount of skill."

Elrohir doubted that very much. But he was willing to indulge Erestor, his brother's lover. "Then shall we spar?"

"If you wish." Erestor had come out here mostly to relax. It was just precaution that he had brought the sword. He had not thought that he would actually use it. He wasn't sure at what point he decided, but he decided that he would let Elrohir win. He couldn't have Elrond's children hating him. So he held back, letting Elrohir get closer and closer to hitting him every time. But he made him work for it. A sheen of sweat stood out on Elrohir's forehead and he was breathing hard by the time he pinned Erestor at the back of a tree, his sword point lightly pressed against Erestor's throat. "Do you yield?"

"Erestor," said a highly amused voice. Erestor glanced over and saw Elrond walking towards them. "Have your skills become so rusty?"

"Obviously," said Erestor cheerfully.

"Elrohir, give me your sword. I find Erestor's statement to be…lacking." Elrond walked over and took the sword from Elrohir. As Erestor stepped away from the tree, Elrond said, "And how about you put some effort into it this time?"

Elrohir knew that his father was a hundred, a thousand times better with a sword than he was, and expected him to have forced Erestor to surrender within seconds. Now he saw that Erestor had only been playing with him before. For a while, as the two elves danced back and forth, it even looked like Erestor would win. Elrohir found himself watching a test of endurance and creativity between the two best swordfighters he had ever seen. The sight was breathtaking.

Then his father took control of the fight and managed to get as far as nearly getting Erestor up against the same tree that Elrohir had had him pinned against. It looked like Erestor slipped and dropped down to one knee. His father smiled triumphantly, but then Erestor delivered a vicious blow with the flat of his sword to Elrond's shins. Elrohir knew that had this been a real fight, to the death, Erestor would have just removed both of his father's legs at just below the knee. Elrond fell backwards, but recovered surprisingly quickly. "Come on," Elrond said breathlessly, "that was low."

Erestor smiled as he replied, "That'll teach you to corner me."

The fight resumed, just as fierce as before. Until Erestor casually twisted his leg around Elrond's and stepped back. Elrond landed hard on his back. Erestor removed his leg just in time to keep his balance and placed the sword point at Elrond's throat. "Like that?" he asked with a grin. He sheathed the sword and offered a hand to pull Elrond up. Elrond took it and pulled Erestor down instead. The two elves lay silently on their backs for a few moments.

Erestor got up first. "There is work that needs to be done, my lord," he said. "I suggest you do the same. Thank you for the exercise, though. We should do that more often." He looked at Elrohir and said, "You show the makings of a promising swordfighter."

"Will you show me some of those moves?" asked Elrohir.

"Certainly. In a few days, perhaps. That is the kind of abuse my body is not used to taking and I will be sore later."

Elrohir watched as Erestor walked back inside. The Erestor he had seen just now was the Erestor he could learn to live with.

Then the ever-present thought resurfaced in his mind. _This is not your home. You do not live here anymore.

* * *

_

"Lord Celeborn!" came the frantic, emotionally uncontrolled voice as the door opened.

Celeborn looked up and saw one of the captains. It was, he recalled, the same one who had walked in on him and Haldir just a few days ago. It looked like he had just come in from fighting, and that immediately worried Celeborn. What news could be that urgent? "What is it?"

"It's Haldir, my lord."

Celeborn stood up. "What happened to him? Is he hurt?" Celeborn could not bring himself to ask if Haldir was dead.

"Please come with me, my lord."

Celeborn found it surprisingly difficult to keep his balance as he walked. It felt as though he were drunk. He seemed so detached from reality that it seemed like his feet weren't touching the ground. Only it wasn't elation he was feeling; it was pure, sick dread.

Celeborn closed his eyes when he saw Haldir. Haldir's eyes stared sightlessly upwards and the back of his head was a ruined pulp. He was covered in blood. They had not yet washed him or prepared him for burial. They had apparently wanted Celeborn to see him like this. And they were quite right to do that. Haldir had been his lover, after all.

He walked over to Haldir's body and dropped to his knees beside it. He took Haldir's cold, stiff hand and said, "I love you. I would have done anything for you. How could you have died? I loved you so much." For once, Celeborn could not fight back the tears. They flowed freely down his cheeks.

Eventually, Celeborn wiped the tears away and stood back up. He looked up at the ceiling. "How could you take him from me? I would have done anything for him. I love him. How could you? What did I do to deserve this?"

There was no answer.

* * *

When Elrond was walking to his study, he smiled at Erestor. Erestor did not see the smile, his head was bowed in fierce concentration, idly twirling a quill between his fingers. He was wearing casual clothes, his hair held back by a single clip. As Elrond watched, Erestor flipped to another piece of parchment. Erestor unconsciously licked his lips, and Elrond turned away before anyone caught him staring. 

Elrond entered his study and sat down, a broad smile on his face. It was so good to have Erestor back. Putting aside all his thoughts of Erestor, though, he turned to his work. That was a surprisingly good way to make him unaware of all the problems he was facing (i.e., competing with his son for the affection of Erestor).

Then the door opened. Elrond looked up, ready to shout at the person. No one was allowed to enter without knocking.

It was Erestor.

"You were staring at me earlier, my lord. Why?" Erestor closed the door behind him and stepped in.

"I'm working, Erestor."

"And you're distracting me from working when you stare at me."

"I'm not staring at you right now, am I?" Elrond purposely kept his gaze on the parchment, though he wanted nothing more than to look up at Erestor.

Erestor walked over to him and put a hand on Elrond's shoulder. Elrond looked up and Erestor grinned triumphantly. "See, I told you that you were staring at me."

Elrond grinned as well, and then pulled Erestor down into his lap. "Well, what are you going to do about it?"

"Now what are you going to do if someone walks in and finds us like this?" Erestor's tone was not joking and casual, but deadly serious. "Glorfindel died only a few days ago. Most people here would not accept this." He pulled away from Elrond. "And knowing my reputation around here, most elves simply wouldn't want us together on principle. And your children hate me already."

Elrond sighed heavily. "You know that I love you?"

"You tell me at least once a day."

Elrond shook his head. "Is this one of your boundary things? Do you think that simply because you are once again my chief advisor that you automatically have to become cold towards me again?"

"I think no such thing."

"Fine. Come to my room after the evening meal. You owe me a game of chess."

* * *

The time had come for Elrohir to face himself. Waking at dawn and dressing warmly, he saddled his horse and left Imladris reasonably unnoticed. It wasn't a long ride, but Elrohir was a nervous wreck. He was terrified that his father would find out what he was doing. His father was notoriously intolerant of traitors. And that was what Elrohir was, really. 

After checking nervously behind him to make sure that no one was visibly following him, he stopped the horse, dismounted, and tied the reins loosely to a post near Belegtur's apartment. Taking a deep breath, he entered the building, and climbed the three flights of stairs to Belegtur's apartment. Unlocking the door, he walked in and found Belegtur already awake.

"Elrohir," he said, with a slight smile, walking over to give Elrohir a light kiss. "I wasn't sure that you'd come back."

"Did I have a choice?" Really, though, Elrohir considered, Belegtur wasn't so bad. It was just that he was so different from anything that Elrohir had ever encountered in his extremely sheltered life.

"Yes. I'm glad that you did." Another kiss, more intense this time.

Elrohir did not fight it, as he had the previous few times. He responded, slipping his hands up under Belegtur's rough shirt and pulling it over his head. Belegtur smiled and slammed Elrohir up against the wall, his hands running along the sleek muscles of Elrohir's chest and abdomen. Elrohir closed his eyes and smiled. He felt his pants ripped off, and a warm hand wrap around his erection. He moaned and thrust into the hand.

Belegtur pulled Elrohir's head up and kissed him, stroking him hard. It wasn't all that long before Elrohir came. Belegtur kissed him tenderly, then grinned and pushed Elrohir unresistingly onto his knees. "Your turn," he said.

Elrohir looked up at Belegtur and smiled, licking his lips. Slipping Belegtur's pants down to pool around his ankles, he took Belegtur's erection into his mouth. Belegtur was even more needy than Elrohir had been and came almost immediately. Belegtur pulled Elrohir back to his feet and kissed him again. "Does that give you any incentive to keep coming back?" he asked.

"Some." Elrohir grinned and reversed their positions easily, pushing Belegtur into the wall. Belegtur put up no fight and instead smiled. "Though it's nothing I couldn't get in Imladris. You'd be surprised at what amusements are available to a decadent princeling."

Belegtur smiled now. "Is that what you have become again, El?"

"I thought our agreement was to call me by my name."

"Is that not close enough? Besides, sex is always better with your bonded than anyone else."

"Says who?"

"Everyone. So, now that we've gotten through this, why don't you tell me what you've been doing?"

"Well, there is this one elf in Imladris…he's so good with a sword he beat my father. I've never seen anyone beat my father before."

Belegtur nodded. "What's his name?"

"Erestor. And Glorfindel's dead."

"Everyone knows that, El. Tell me something that I don't know."

"My father is rebuilding an army. It's going to be five times the size of the old one. He said that he didn't want anything like what you did to happen again."

"So if we're going to strike, we have to strike soon."

"Not necessarily. If we want to be more covert about it, we should wait a couple years…"

"A couple years, Elrohir!? Do you have any idea how hard it is to scratch by each and every day? Every day I die a little more…every day I fall a little farther. I can't last another two years, El. I can't last another six months. This was my last resort."

"I can get you money…"

"I don't want your fucking filthy money!" Belegtur pushed Elrohir roughly away. "Go back home, princeling. If you can get those fucking stupid ideas out of your head, you can come back. But not until then." He turned away from Elrohir and walked into another room.

"I'm sorry," Elrohir called after him.

A harsh voice replied, "Sorry won't keep me alive."

Elrohir found, somewhat to his surprise, that tears were stinging his eyes. He pulled his clothes on, emptied the money out of his pockets, left it on the table, and then walked out.

* * *

Glorfindel heard footsteps. That meant one of two things: either Mandos had decided to show up again, as he did every once in a while, to torment him here in this place isolated from everyone else, or that Mandos had given him a companion. He opened his eyes, and was stunned to see Haldir. He rose to his feet, and embraced a rather shocked Haldir. "Haldir? How did you get here?" 

"Am…I'm dead, aren't I?"

Glorfindel closed his eyes. "Yes. You are in the Halls of Waiting. How did you die?"

"I don't know. I was…fighting the orcs…and now I'm here."

"MANDOS!" bellowed Glorfindel.

Mandos appeared in front of him, a whimsical smile on his face. "Yes, Glorfindel?" he asked calmly and patiently.

"Why is Haldir here?"

Mandos looked Haldir over. "As he is here, I think it is fairly safe to assume that he's dead."

"That's not funny, Mandos. Haldir shouldn't be dead."

"Ah, so you are one of the Valar now, to dictate who lives and who dies?"

"You had a lover, right, Haldir? Celeborn?"

Haldir nodded.

"What about Celeborn?" challenged Glorfindel.

"Elves do die. They typically leave behind lovers, families. Does that mean I should do something about that for everyone?"

"Celeborn is lord of Lorien."

"I am aware of that."

"Couldn't you do something about it, then? Because he's the Lord of Lorien?"

"My dear, persistent Glorfindel, I could not send Haldir back even if I wanted to, even if they hadn't already buried his body. Haldir…do you wish to see what you looked like when Celeborn got your body?" Mandos conjured up a picture. Glorfindel gasped when he saw the terrible wounds inflicted on Haldir. Haldir merely closed his eyes and turned away. "That body is ruined. Haldir cannot go back."

"Is there no other way? Can you not make one of your infamous deals?"

"No, not in this case."

"Why are you fighting so hard for me?" asked Haldir curiously. "What do I mean to you?"

"It's not what you mean to me, it's what you mean to Erestor."

Mandos chuckled. "This all comes back to Erestor, doesn't it? Everything always comes back to him."

"I will do anything, Mandos," said Glorfindel.

"You're already dead. There is nothing left for you to give." Then Mandos smiled cruelly. "No, there is something left for you to give me. You know of what I speak."

Glorfindel looked as though he had been struck a mortal blow. _The things I do for you, Erestor_. "Very well, Mandos. But swear to me that you will give Haldir back."

Mandos sighed heavily. "Very well. I'll see what I can do. It might take some time, though."

"As long as it gets done."

"Are you ordering me around, Glorfindel?"

"I think I'm entitled to."

* * *

Okay, now. i have some instructions for you. CLick that little box that says 'go' in the left hand corner right beneath this. I would really appreciate it. _Grin._ Should hopefully update this again by Wednesday. I hope. 


	20. Elven Hearts Part 3

Chapter 20

* * *

Elrond opened the door and saw Erestor standing there, a seductive smile on his face. Elrond had noticed that Erestor excused himself from the evening meal early, and Elrond knew that that meant Erestor had a plan. Elrond was full of sick anticipation regarding the exact details of the plan. "Please come in." 

Erestor walked in and slouched down in one of the chairs. Casually, making sure that Elrond's gaze was on him, he unbuttoned his shirt. "So, are you ready for a game of chess?"

Elrond frowned, but nodded. "I think so."

"Well, I would like to play by a new set of rules, if that's okay by you."

"Well, you'll have to tell me this new set of rules."

Erestor nodded. He stood up and walked over to Elrond. He began to unbutton Elrond's shirt. "You lose a piece, you lose a piece of clothing…and no letting me win just because you think that that will…cause certain things to happen. Because it won't. If you don't play like you mean to win, I'll leave."

"So what does that have to do with having our shirts undone?"

"Absolutely nothing. But I thought it would be fun anyway."

They sat down. Elrond was white, so he made the first move. He had no intentions of playing to lose. He wanted to see Erestor naked (not that he hadn't seen it all before) in the hopes that their relationship would progress. Two moves later, Elrond captured one of Erestor's pawns. Erestor slipped his shirt off. Then he moved a pawn and captured one of Elrond's. With a smile, Elrond kicked off a shoe.

Erestor grinned. "That will cost you, my lord."

"What?" asked Elrond, trying to look innocent.

They continued play. It was not a slow game, as most of theirs were. They really didn't care about the outcome this time. After about twenty minutes, both were stripped down to their pants.

"We could stop the game," said Elrond.

"Whatever for, Elrond?"

Elrond closed his eyes and shook his head. "You are utterly impossible, Erestor."

"It's my best quality. Your move."

Elrond was determined to end the game. He cared little if he won or lost at this point. Hoping that Erestor didn't notice how stupid he was being, he moved a piece so that Erestor would have checkmate. "Your turn."

"I'm really quite disappointed in you, Elrond."

"And why would that be?"

"You lost on purpose." Erestor grabbed his shirt and began to put it on.

"Don't do that to me, Erestor. By the Valar, you cannot do that to me."

"I cannot?" Erestor put the shirt on and began to button it up.

"No. Stop it. As your lord, I command you to stop what you're doing!"

"You have never had much control over me, my lord."

Elrond stood up. "No, you're not walking away from me this time." He walked around the table and put his hand on Erestor's shoulder. "I've been waiting too long, Erestor. You cannot deny me again."

"Deny you what, Elrond?"

Elrond leaned down to kiss Erestor, but then he heard a knock on the door. A frustrated moan came from deep within his throat, but he pulled his shirt on, buttoning it halfway. Taking a deep calming breath (mostly so that he didn't kill whoever this was that wanted so desperately to interrupt him at this crucial moment), he walked to the door and opened it. "What is it?" he demanded.

The messenger could clearly feel the wrath in Elrond's voice and stepped back a foot. "I'm sorry, my lord, but Lord Celeborn of Lorien is here to see you. He said 'twas most urgent, my lord."

Elrond was momentarily worried. What kind of trouble could Celeborn be having that would require him to come here with no notice at all. "Bring him up here," Elrond said. "But give me a few moments to prepare myself."

"As you wish, my lord." The elf disappeared.

"Get dressed," called Elrond to Erestor.

"I am dressed," said Erestor, appearing in the doorway, smiling fondly at Elrond. "And what's wrong? You look upset."

"Celeborn's here."

"Why? Did you know he was coming?"

"No. That's what worries me so much. He's being sent up here, and we need to look presentable." Elrond shook his head. "It's going to be so hard to think with you here in the room."

"I can leave…"

"Don't you dare. If you do, I know I'll find you in Elladan's bed tomorrow morning."

"Or worse, someone else's."

"Yes," agreed Elrond.

A light rap on the door. Erestor smiled, picked up a clip that was lying on a table, and pulled his hair back inelegantly. Elrond glared at him; he had had exactly the same idea and had been planning on using that same clip. Forcing a pleasant smile onto his face, he opened the door.

Celeborn was a mess. He had not changed since arriving, that was obvious. More worrying, though, were the tear stains on Celeborn's cheeks. Elrond gestured for him to enter. "What is wrong, mellon-nin?"

Celeborn shook his head, obviously too overcome for words. Erestor acted before Elrond did, and enfolded Celeborn in an embrace. "What is it?" he whispered. "I am here for you, whatever it is."

Clearing his throat, Celeborn made an attempt. "Haldir…orcs…"

"Has Haldir been injured?" asked Erestor, perhaps a little too quickly.

"Killed," said Celeborn faintly.

Erestor looked as though struck by a mortal blow. "By the gods, tell me you are not serious."

"I received his body several days ago. 'Tis buried now, but that does not take away the sting of loss. I…I had to get away from Lorien, and this was the only place I could think to go."

"You are welcome here for as long as you like. You know that, Celeborn. The doors of the Last Homely House will always be open to you. Please, stay. Talk a while with us." What Elrond really meant, and both Erestor and Celeborn knew it, was that some elves were hastily preparing a room for Celeborn and they would need more time.

Celeborn was unwilling to play along this time, though. "No, Elrond, though your offer is kind, I would just like somewhere to rest right now."

Elrond fought back a sigh. His father-in-law could be a real pain sometimes. "Of course." He quickly summoned an elf. After a few parting words and a promise to talk tomorrow, Celeborn left. As soon as Celeborn left, Erestor sank down to the ground. He had managed to hold his composure in Celeborn's presence, but it was too much now.

"Oh, melamin," Erestor murmured, "why did you have to go and die? How could you do that to me?"

Elrond was slightly hurt by Erestor's calling Haldir his lover, but there was nothing he could do about it. "Erestor," he said softly, walking over. He sat down beside his best friend and put an arm around Erestor's shoulder. "Shh, Erestor."

It took a long time for Erestor to control himself, but eventually the sobs subsided, and Erestor said, "Why do the best elves have to die?"

"I'm still alive," joked Elrond, but his heart wasn't in it.

"Elrond, can I spend the night?"

"You've never had to ask that question. Come on, let's go to bed." There was no question in Elrond's mind that anything sexual would occur. It was a step in the right direction, though. The two walked to Elrond's bedroom. Erestor collapsed down on the bed and fell asleep almost instantly, just wanting to drown out all the sorrow. Elrond snuggled up behind him, draping one arm loosely around Erestor's waist. He, though, did not fall asleep so quickly.

* * *

Belegtur heard a noise in the middle of the night. Sitting up, he grabbed for his dagger. The footsteps came to the bedroom door, and Belegtur kicked the sheets free from his legs. There was no point in allowing something as simple as that to catch him up if whoever this was really wanted to kill him. 

The door opened and Belegtur began to rise out of bed.

It was Elrohir.

Belegtur smiled at the younger elf. He hadn't meant to get so angry with Elrohir earlier, but all the pent-up rage had just come out by itself. "Good morning, El."

"I'm sorry, Belegtur. I didn't mean…"

"Shh. Don't worry about it." It was very strange, but Belegtur was beginning to actually like Elrohir. "So, are you coming to bed, or did you just stop by?"

"I came to apologize."

"Come to bed."

Elrohir nodded and undressed, then settled into the bed beside Belegtur. He did, for some strange reason, feel something for Belegtur that was more than just hate. It worried him a lot. "Do you still hate me?" he whispered.

"Hate you, El? Of course I don't hate you." Belegtur kissed Elrohir lightly, then folded an arm around his waist. "Why would I hate you?"

* * *

Celeborn felt like he was in a fantasy world. Everything seemed only half-real and clouded by a fog of nonsense. As he walked to his rooms, he noticed nothing around him and was mildly surprised to find himself in bed. Knowing that he would be sleepless, as he had been every night since he had found out, he closed his eyes to rest anyway. Elrond would no doubt want to grill him tomorrow, and Celeborn wasn't sure if he was up to that. 

_Celeborn, meleth_ said a voice in his head. It sounded strangely like Haldir's voice.

Celeborn shook his head. The last thing he needed right now was to become delusional.

_Listen to me, meleth. This is real._

Celeborn refused to admit anything. If he started listening to the voice in his head, there was no telling what might happen.

_Celeborn, this is important! Listen to me!_

Celeborn got out of bed. He began to pace the room. _I'm going crazy,_ he thought. _Maybe I should go and see Elrond right now. Maybe there's something he can give me to help me get rid of the voice…_ He stopped his train of thought. The last thing he wanted to do was to go tell his son-in-law was that he was hearing voices. He could almost imagine the calm and concerned look on Elrond's face right now. Elrond would give him something to knock him out and then probably confine him to his rooms.

_By the Valar, Celeborn, it's me, Haldir. Mandos isn't willing to give me much time. So would you please listen to me? I'm not a figment of your imagination._

"Because a figment of my imagination would admit to being one," said Celeborn out loud.

_Mandos is willing to let me come back, Celeborn._

"If I don't think about hearing you, then I won't." Celeborn closed his eyes and sat down. He really didn't want to hear an imaginary voice telling him that it was possible to get Haldir back.

_I thought you loved me._

"I do love you."

_Ah, so we've reached an agreement. You are willing to believe that I am Haldir._

"No, but I think arguing with the voice in my head would be even more futile than agreeing with it."

_Mandos says that he can…how did he put it…put my fëa into a new body. One that looks like mine. Like what he did for Glorfindel._

"I see. And when would you arrive?"

_He says that it will take time._

"How much time?"

_He apparently has no idea._

Celeborn sighed. He should have realized that a discussion with himself would come to no conclusion. "And where exactly will you be when you are…reborn? And will you retain your memories? I know that Glorfindel didn't."

_I don't know these things, Celeborn. But I will come back to you. I swear that._

"Very well."

There was no reply from the voice. Celeborn shook his head. Never before had that happened to him and he was a little unsure of how to deal with it. And now he knew that no matter how hard he tried to quench it, the thought that Haldir would come back would be stuck in his mind for all eternity.

* * *

When Elrond awoke, he found that at some point in the night, Erestor had turned to face him and had snuggled up to him. Elrond smiled. He never thought that Erestor would end up in his bed. Gently smoothing back Erestor's hair, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. There was nothing he wouldn't do to ensure that he woke like this every morning. 

Erestor stirred. "Elrond?" he asked sleepily, squirming so that he could actually look at Elrond.

"Good morning, mellon-nin." Elrond wanted to call Erestor 'meleth', but he wasn't about to instigate anything like that. "You can go back to sleep, it's not that late yet."

Erestor murmured something unintelligible and he closed his eyes to go back to sleep. Elrond smiled again, more broadly. He couldn't believe how lucky he was. Finally, the Valar had given him what he wanted the most; not to have sex with Erestor, but just to spend a night with Erestor.

Someone knocked on the door. Elrond wanted to ignore it, but it could be important. "Go answer it," said Erestor, apparently not asleep. His voice was a lot less tired, as if he was slowly waking up. He disentangled himself from Elrond and ran his hands through his hair. "You are the Lord of Imladris."

Elrond smiled and got out of bed. Throwing on clothes carelessly, he walked to the door and opened it. It was Arwen. Biting back a groan of frustration, he asked as politely as he could, "What can I do for you this morning, daughter?"

"Is Erestor here?"

He wanted to say 'that's none of your business', but didn't. Instead, he said, "Yes, he is. Is he needed for something?"

"Yes. Celeborn's been asking for him."

"Why?" asked Erestor appearing at the door. "Is something wrong?"

"Well, Haldir is dead…"

"I'm aware of that," snapped Erestor. "Elrond, I should probably go see him. I'll see you later."

Elrond nodded and watched forlornly as Erestor disappeared. He had hoped to at least get a kiss out of Erestor before he left. Maybe he could convince Erestor to stay the night again tonight.

* * *

Elrohir was quietly getting dressed, trying not to wake Belegtur. He failed, though; as he was pulling on his pants, Belegtur asked, "Where are you going?" 

"My father will go crazy if he finds out I didn't spend the night there. He's so terrified that I'll be kidnapped again."

"Don't I even get a kiss before you leave?"

"I was trying to let you sleep."

"I'd rather kiss you."

Elrohir smiled and kissed Belegtur lightly, almost chastely. Belegtur grunted his disapproval and pulled Elrohir back into bed, kissing him fiercely. Elrohir did not object to the kiss, but when Belegtur made as if to take off some of his clothes, Elrohir pulled away. "I have to get home," he protested.

"You would think you were still an Elfling, rather than my bonded," said Belegtur, displeased.

"I'm sorry. I'll come here as often as I can without being caught. Because you know my father would kill you if he found out."

"So why don't you kill him first?" asked Belegtur dispassionately. "Or that elf you were talking about the other day…Erestor."

Elrohir's face hardened. Before, he wouldn't even have been able to wrap his mind around the concept of doing something like that. Now it was just something that would require a little thought. "And I'll be Lord of Imladris?"

Belegtur chuckled. "Yes, princeling, I'll make you Lord of Imladris."

* * *

Erestor let himself into Celeborn's room without knocking. He found Celeborn sitting on the bed, his knees drawn up to his chest. "Good morning, Celeborn," he said softly. 

Celeborn looked up as if breaking out of a trance. "Hello, Erestor. I'm sorry if I woke you. It's just that I would rather talk to you than anyone else in Imladris."

"I'm honored, Celeborn." Erestor sat down on the bed beside Celeborn. "What can I do for you?"

"You swear that you will not tell Elrond about this?"

"As long as it does not involve hurting yourself or hurting others, then your secrets are safe with me. Otherwise, I have an obligation to inform Elrond."

Celeborn nodded. "Okay. Last night, before I went to sleep…it was…and don't think I'm crazy…it was like…like I heard a voice…Haldir's voice."

Erestor nodded. "And did it say anything?" He was not about to judge Celeborn. Mandos could, Erestor was sure, allow the dead to talk to the living in special circumstances.

"He said that Mandos could bring him back."

"How?"

"He was very vague…but I know that I will never be able to get that idea out of my head now. No matter how much time passes, I will always never be able to stop thinking that today…or tomorrow…or the next day, Mandos will give me back Haldir." Celeborn took Erestor's hand, gripping it tightly. He didn't want to cry in front of Erestor.

"I don't know how Mandos does things, I can't say I've ever met him. But Glorfindel has told me some things about him. It is said that he is vengeful, and I believe that. But he can be compassionate. You are the Lord of Lorien. Mandos gave Elrond back his life. He owes you something at least. You cannot rule out the possibility that that truly was Haldir."

"That's not what I wanted to hear, Erestor. I wanted you to say that I was crazy."

"You're not crazy, Celeborn."

"Would you…would you stay here with me for a while?"

Erestor smiled. "Of course I will." He rested his back against the pillows, still holding Celeborn's hand.

Before he knew quite what was happening, Celeborn was kissing him. He didn't stop Celeborn; he knew Celeborn needed this. A brief flash of guilt entered his mind; he had made up his mind to be faithful to Elrond, and now he was giving in to Celeborn without a protest. That didn't stop him from enjoying it, though.

Afterwards, when they were lying tangled together on the bed, Erestor said, "I really should get some work done today."

"Don't let me keep you away from your work," said Celeborn, moving slightly away from Erestor.

Erestor sat up, kissed Celeborn lightly, and then began to get dressed. "I can stop by later, if you'd like."

Celeborn smiled. "That would be nice."

* * *

Elrohir snuck into the house, and made his way to his room. Opening the door, thinking that he was home free, he groaned when he saw his father standing by the window. Cringing, he said, "Good morning, ada." 

Elrond turned, his anger not masked on his face, and said, "Elrohir, do you have _any_ idea how worried I was? You were taken from me not all that long ago, do you enjoy pursuing a reckless life? The same thing will happen again…"

"I am grown, father, you do not have control of me."

"With adulthood comes responsibility, Elrohir. Sneaking out in the middle of the night does not show much responsibility to me. When you start acting like an adult, I will start treating you like one. Understand?"

"You know nothing, father." Elrohir's hand slipped into his cloak. A dagger was located there. Maybe, just maybe, he could catch his father off-guard. That would end this. That feeling passed by a second later and he was sickened by what he had almost done.

"Elrohir, what do you mean?" Elrond was genuinely worried for his son.

"Nothing, father."

Elrond was not convinced. "I'm confining you to your rooms, Elrohir. Please don't try to leave them. This is for your own good."

Elrohir was not going to let himself be treated that way. He could see that Belegtur had been right all along. Pulling the dagger out, he lunged at his father.

Elrond managed to avoid being struck a mortal blow only through millennia of honed reflexes. As it was, the dagger sliced through his shoulder, making Elrond grimace in pain. Elrond twisted his son's wrist, not caring right now what damage he was doing to his son. That could come later.

Elrohir was strangely persistent, though. Despite the audible cracking of bone in Elrohir's wrist, Elrohir continued to try to stab Elrond. Finally, Elrond managed to grab his son and pin him against the wall. Grabbing the dagger away from Elrohir, Elrond said, "What has gotten into your head, Elrohir?"

Elrohir made no reply.

Elrond sighed. "I will send a healer to see to your wrist. And don't even think about trying to leave this room. I will have guards posted outside at all times." He walked out of the room, stunned by his son's actions. It had crossed his mind that he would be attacked at some point in his career as Lord of Imladris, but he had never imagined that it would be from his own son.

And then he had the misfortune to meet Erestor in the halls.

Erestor gasped when he saw the blood running freely down the sleeve of Elrond's shirt. "What happened to you?" he asked, his eyes widening.

"Elrohir stabbed me."

"Why?"

"I don't know. This is very puzzling…very troubling."

"What troubles me is that you are bleeding, Elrond. I suggest you do something about that, first."

"I will momentarily. I have a favor to ask of you, Erestor."

"Name it."

"I know that Elrohir will try to escape. As long as he is relatively cunning about it, he will find a way to sneak past my guards. So, I want you to keep an eye on him as well. And follow him when he decides to run away. I want to know where he's going."

Erestor nodded. "I can do that. But only if you promise me that you will go see to your arm before you return to work."

"You're hardly my mother, Erestor."

"But I do love you. Now go on. I have work to do as well."

Elrond considered trying for a kiss. But he decided that he would be refused. So he smiled fondly at Erestor and walked past him.

* * *

Legolas was bored of Mirkwood. 

He had never thought that that would happen, but it had. He missed the excitement that surrounded Imladris even when there wasn't a decisive battle occurring there. So he left Mirkwood in the middle of the night. He knew that his father wouldn't approve, so he didn't bother trying to win his father's approval.

Imladris just felt so much freer to him.

And there was a certain elf there. A dark-haired beauty that he wanted. And one that he would get, no matter the cost.

So he had to go back to Imladris. It made perfect sense in his mind. Besides, he was sure that he could find some useful pretense for him to go to Imladris. As long as Elrond never talked to Thranduil, no one would ever have to know the true reason for his unexpected arrival.

No one would have to know his secret.

His secret that answered to the name of Elrohir.

* * *

Author's note: Evil Elrohir!!! Dont know if i'll keep him bad or not. Open to suggestions, as always 


	21. Elven Hearts Part 3

Chapter 21

* * *

Erestor was trying to divide his time between watching Elrohir covertly and actually getting the work of a Chief Advisor done. He knew that he could ask for help from Elladan or one of several others, but he didn't want to. Before Glorfindel had come, he had been famous for being able to handle any task, no matter how great. There was no point destroying that reputation now.

Elrohir didn't appear to be doing anything right now. At least he wasn't trying to escape yet. Erestor wasn't looking forward to chasing him. Erestor could only assume that Elrohir had fallen in with the elves that had kidnapped him. That could only lead to a nasty confrontation, that Erestor knew for sure.

His thoughts drifted back to earlier, seeing the blood flowing freely down Elrond's shirt, staining the expensive material. The sight of blood on Elrond's clothes brought back old memories.

_Erestor walked into Elrond's tent, a bit dazed from battle. It had been a long, hard day and Erestor had seen many wounded or dead. He had seen Haldir struck down but was too afraid to see if the elf that had helped him so much had been killed. He had been relieved to see Haldir only moments before arriving at Elrond's tent. Haldir looked fine._

"_Erestor, you look terrible," said Elrond, rising to greet Erestor._

"_I…it's been a long day, Lord Elrond." Erestor then noticed that there was a dark stain on the right shoulder of Elrond's shirt. It was dried, but it was unmistakably blood. "You've been wounded!"_

_Elrond smiled at the younger elf's outburst. "Yes. 'Tis nothing, though. It will heal quickly." _

_Erestor smiled a little. "I fear that I disbelieve you."_

"_Begone, youngster. Surely others can lay better claim on you for celebration this night than I. Haldir of Lorien, for instance. I have heard you spend much time with him. He is a good elf, and honorable."_

"_He was wounded today also."_

"_And your other friends?"_

_Erestor looked down at his feet. "I do not make friends easily, Lord Elrond."_

_Elrond thought that he knew why. Erestor was shy and had a skill for blocking people out that Elrond had seen in few elves. It would be hard to break past Erestor's shield and it would take longer than most elves would be willing to put forth. Only Elrond was willing to do that. "Then by all means, stay with me. I fear I make poor company, but I shall not complain to be in your company."_

_Erestor smiled. He could not personally think of anything more pleasant. "That is kind of you, Lord Elrond." He frowned, noticing the way that Elrond winced every time he moved his right arm. "That wound you took today, it is not as slight as you would have me believe, is it?"_

"_It need not trouble you, Erestor."_

_Erestor persisted. "If it truly is that bad, you should seek out a healer."_

"_I am a healer!" Elrond snapped, and immediately regretted the outburst._

_Erestor knew that he had gone too far, presumed too much. He rose to his feet. "I am sorry to offend, Lord Elrond. I think I shall leave now." He made a hasty retreat. He hadn't dared go back to Elrond until the eve of the next battle. Elrond had never again mentioned that outburst, but it had, for some reason, always stuck out in Erestor's mind._

Erestor shook his head to shake the memory away. He had enough work to do without allowing himself the luxury of remembering. When he focused once more on his work, he heard a chuckle. Looking up, he saw Elrond. "Yes, my lord?"

"I don't think I've ever seen you daydream before."

"I apologize sincerely, my lord."

"For the last time, Erestor, my name is Elrond. And don't pretend anymore. What I really wanted to know was if you would be coming to my bed again tonight."

"No."

Elrond sighed. "Why not? And don't tell me anything about boundaries or I shall hit you."

Erestor could not help but grin at that. "Actually, I had intended to, my lord, but Celeborn asked me to stay with him tonight."

Elrond's eyes narrowed and he stepped closer. "Have you ever…slept with Celeborn."

Erestor grinned. "Yes."

Elrond frowned. "When?"

Erestor's grin broadened. "This morning."

"What?" Elrond realized that he had screamed that word and immediately controlled himself. In a lower voice, he demanded, "This morning? When Arwen told me that he'd been asking for you?"

"Yes."

Not sure how much longer he could contain his temper, he stalked away. He didn't want to be angry with Erestor, but he couldn't help himself. He had thought that Erestor and he had become closer. He had thought that Erestor would be faithful. Apparently, he had thought wrong.

* * *

Elladan collided with his father in the hallways and immediately backed away. He could tell that his father was angry. It was a look that all three of Elrond's children had learned very early to recognize. Turning to flee, he heard his father say, "Stop, Elladan."

Wincing, Elladan stopped and turned. "Yes, Father?"

"Could you do me a favor?"

Elladan couldn't see any other choice but to say, "Yes. What is it?"

"Can you conspire some way to lure Erestor to your bed tonight?"

Elladan was extremely confused. This wasn't something he expected to hear his father ask of him. "If I may ask, why?"

"Because otherwise, I may cause a diplomatic incident by killing Celeborn. Please just do as I say." Then Elrond walked away.

* * *

Elladan stood in the hallway for a few seconds, trying to decipher what his father had just told him. Could his father really believe that Erestor would sleep with Celeborn? That thought was even more repulsive to him than the thought of Erestor being with his father. Obviously, though, his father thought he had some proof. It had been a while since he had talked to Erestor, though.

Steeling himself for a confrontation, he walked to Erestor's study. Not bothering to knock, he walked in. Erestor looked up, a frown on his face. "What can I do for you, Elladan?"

Elladan walked over. "I have a few ideas." He sat on the edge of Erestor's desk.

"I'm busy, Elladan."

"Surely your work can wait." He traced his finger delicately down Erestor cheek, down his neck to slip a short way below his shirt. "I'm sure that I can think of better things for you to do."

"And I can think of all the things that your father would do to me if I didn't get this done." He removed Elladan's hand.

"There's only one thing you can do for me that will convince me to leave you to your work."

"I'm listening."

"Come to see me tonight."

"I am afraid I already have plans for tonight, Elladan."

"I think you should put them aside."

"I fear that I would upset a very dear friend of mine were I to do so. Perhaps another time, Elladan."

Elladan could tell that he was getting nowhere by this route. So he decided to try another. "Then I will just have to seek you out in your rooms tonight."

"I am afraid that you will not find me there. Now, please leave me, Elladan. I have much work to do." He turned his gaze from Elladan back to the parchment in front of him.

Elladan could see that he had lost. So he turned and walked out of the room. He could only hope that his father never found out about his failure.

* * *

Elrohir was pacing his room. Now that it was over and done with, he couldn't believe that he had attacked his father. That alone could have given him away. Now his father would watch him closely. The Valar only knew when he would be able to get back to see Belegtur again. A healer had come in and bandaged his wrist, but had refused to say anything to him. Elrohir could only assume that he had been forbidden to talk to Elrohir.

So Elrohir had begun to plot a way to get out unseen. His window was a viable option, probably the only one he had. The only problem he had was that his window was located quite a long way from the ground. The only option he could see was if he was able to get into the window directly under his own and then leave via there.

He had only one problem. He had no idea what was located in the room directly under his. And now he had no way of finding out. He could only hope that he was lucky and that it would be deserted. As he intended to leave in the middle of the night, and he knew that the floor below him housed no bedrooms, he was relatively sure it would be deserted.

That left only the problem of getting back in. This was a much tougher problem and was the reason that Elrohir could not implement his plan right now.

His door opened and his father walked in. "Elrohir, we need to talk," said Elrond reasonably.

"About what?" asked Elrohir calmly.

"You tried to kill me."

"So?"

"I typically imprison those who do that. Can you come up with a good reason why I should not do the same to you?" Elrond had no desire to imprison Elrohir, but he would if it came down to it.

"I have nothing to say to you, Elrond."

"What did those rebels do to you, Elrohir, that you would turn against your own father?"

"I have nothing to say to you, Elrond."

Elrond shook his head. "I have given you your chance, Elrohir, to explain your actions to me. I will give you one more day to do so. If you wish to speak with me, tell the guards outside your door and they will send for me. If you do not choose to offer an explanation, I shall have to imprison you." Elrond managed to keep his words and his face impassive only with great difficulty.

He walked out of Elrohir's room and made his way back to his own room. He sat on his bed and cried. It had been some time since he had last cried, and before, he had always had someone he could turn to. Now there was no one. He wished that he knew Erestor was coming later, but he knew for a fact that he was not. Dark thoughts entered Elrond's mind and he had some trouble dispelling them.

It was with a heavy heart that he fell asleep that night. All he could think of was how he had tried to raise his children to be reasonably good and honorable. He had failed miserably, he could see that now. In fact, when it came down to it, much of his life had been a failure. There were so many things left undone, so many things failed at.

_Perhaps it would have been better for Elrohir just to have killed me._

* * *

Legolas arrived at the Last Homely House. Already, it looked better. True, there were still some signs that a deadly battle had been fought here not all that long ago, but it seemed that the place was recovering. He stabled the horse himself, as the building appeared nearly empty.

He decided that it would be best to announce himself first before he went to find Elrohir. It was quite early in the morning, only an hour or two after sunrise. He guessed that only two or three people of importance would be up; namely Erestor and Elrond. He walked to Elrond's study and found it empty. Puzzled by the lack of people everywhere, he walked to Erestor's study. Involuntarily, he breathed a sigh of relief as he opened the door and saw Erestor seated at his desk.

Erestor looked up as the door opened and smiled. "Prince Legolas!" He rose to his feet, apparently genuinely happy to see Legolas.

"Where is everyone?"

"The Last Homely House lost more than half of her residents in the battle," replied Erestor solemnly. "These corridors can be quite lonely. So, how may I be of service?"

"I came to visit Elrohir…"

"I don't think that that would be advisable."

"And why not?"

"Yesterday, Elrohir attempted to kill Elrond."

Legolas looked slightly shocked, but more disappointed. "What did Elrond do?"

"Locked him in his room. He does not want to imprison his own son, you see."

Legolas nodded. "Damn Belegtur."

"Excuse me?"

"Belegtur. He is the one that captured Elrohir. He is…he is Elrohir's bonded mate."

Erestor's eyes widened at that. "Bonded mate?" he repeated faintly. "But why would Elrohir ever consent to that…?"

"It was not by his choice. He lived with Belegtur for a short while after the battle ended. I stayed there to make sure that Elrohir remained safe…obviously Belegtur managed to turn Elrohir."

Erestor looked extremely pensive. "Thank you for telling me this, Prince Legolas. I will see to it that rooms are prepared for you. I am sure I can arrange for you to see Elrohir at some time, hopefully soon. I will have to discuss this matter with Elrond first."

Legolas laid a hand warmly on Erestor's shoulder. "Thank you, mellon. I am sure that you will do everything you can. And, if I may say, it is good to have you back in Imladris."

* * *

Belegtur was on his way to the Last Homely House. It was gossiped that Elrohir had attempted to kill his father. Belegtur was astounded at Elrohir's stupidity, but could not allow his mate to be killed. It would be unconscionable. So now he had to go rescue Elrohir. The only problem was that he had no idea where Elrohir was being held. So he would have to assume a false identity. Again.

He presented himself to the guards there with the name of Herulom. They demanded to know his reason for being there and he claimed to be a merchant who endeavored to see Lord Elrond, but they told him that the Lord was too busy today. So Belegtur had replied that he would wait until Lord Elrond ceased to be busy. At that, the guards admitted him.

An elf took him to a study and told him to wait. Belegtur resisted the urge to investigate the room and instead sat quietly. Eventually, the door opened and a dark-haired elf entered. It was not Elrond, however. "I am Chief Advisor to Lord Elrond," said the elf. "My name is Erestor. I am told you are…Herulom and that you wish to speak to Lord Elrond about some business matter. Lord Elrond is busy at present and asked me to speak for him." Erestor seated himself; Elrond wasn't really busy, but he was in no state to see visitors, he was torn up over what to do with his son. "So, how may I help you?"

Belegtur had heard of Erestor. He was reputedly low-born, though there was no evidence to it, and had been exiled for some unremembered reason from Imladris nearly a millennia ago. Apparently, he had been forgiven. He had his cover story all worked out. "I wish to sell my wares, only I find that…the competitive market is hard to break into."

Erestor frowned. "It is free trade. There is not much I or Lord Elrond can do to restrict trade in order for you to prosper."

"No, no, you misunderstand me. All I am asking for is that I be given a chance."

Erestor seemed to think about this for a second. "So you thought that by throwing yourself on Lord Elrond's mercy that he would take pity on you and help you?"

"I have a family, Lord Erestor…"

Erestor waved the title away. "I am no Lord."

"I have a family. I am new here. Please do not kill my children, my wife through these cruel, harsh words."

Erestor was not without compassion. He remembered his own days in poverty. He would not willingly wish them on anyone. Elrond would kill him for this, he knew that. Sighing, he said, "I will consider your words. Until then, consider yourself a guest at the Last Homely House. I will have rooms prepared for you." There was something unsettlingly familiar about this elf, but he couldn't for the life of him decide what it was.

"Thank you, Erestor. I will not forget this kindness."

* * *

"You did what?" asked Elrond.

"I told him you would think about it."

"And why, in the name of all that is good, would you do that?"

"I was in his shoes once. I would never want to return to them. I made a life for myself. There is no reason that he cannot do the same. I only want to give the poor elf a chance. Surely you still retain some compassion, Elrond." Erestor reached over and squeezed Elrond's knee.

Elrond captured Erestor's hand and rubbed it gently. "So we are now to help every beggar who presents themselves at my door?"

"He is not a beggar. He is a merchant."

"He says he is a merchant. I did not know you were this trusting, Erestor."

Erestor sighed theatrically. "Very well, Elrond. I shall go immediately and tell this elf that Lord Elrond wishes his entire family to die because he does not believe his story. Do you _want _a mob converging here?"

"Did you spend last night with Celeborn?" asked Elrond, switching topics.

"No, actually."

"With who, then? Elladan?"

"No. I spent it alone. I was working."

Elrond smiled. "You worked all night?"

"Is that a problem?"

Elrond raised Erestor's hand to his lips and kissed it delicately. "I had forgotten how tirelessly you devote yourself to your work. It is something that I missed. But you should have spent it with me."

"I shall consider it."

"No, you won't."

Erestor laughed. "There is work we must attend to. There is work you must do, Elrond. Forget Elrohir for a time. He is not going anywhere. And I now know where he will run to if and when he does flee."

Elrond nodded. The thought that his son had a bonded mate was incomprehensible enough to him, but to have it be the leader of the rebellion against him was just beyond his imagination. Though it would explain a lot of the actions that Elrohir had taken since his arrival back at the Last Homely House. "I suppose you're right."

"I'm always right. Now come on, Elrond."

"I will…if you do one thing for me."

Erestor frowned in suspicion. "And what would that one thing be?"

"Kiss me."

Erestor grinned. "Elrond…"

"Don't. Just don't. Is it truly so terrible to think of kissing me?"

"No. Not at all."

"So where does the problem lie?"

Erestor groaned. "Elrond…please stop this foolishness…"

"I'm not going anywhere until you do."

"I believe you, too."

"I know. So just do as I say, and we can both go on with our day."

Erestor leaned over and kissed Elrond chastely on the cheek. "There."

"That doesn't count."

"You were foolish enough to specify no conditions," said Erestor, grinning. "Therefore, I think that that does count. And so now you have to leave your bedroom and come to work."

"I hate you."

"I thought you loved me." Erestor grinned at Elrond.

Elrond could stand it no longer. He put one hand on Erestor's cheek and turned Erestor's face to his. Gently, he kissed Erestor. Erestor did not resist, resting one hand on Elrond's shoulder and the other on Elrond's hip. The kiss was brief, but not without strong emotion.

Erestor broke the kiss and smiled. "I never thought I'd kiss you."

"I would never have stopped you."

"That's not the point. Now come on, Elrond. Surely I have filled my obligation now."

"Afraid not."

"And why would that be?"

"Because I told you to kiss me. I kissed you. There's a difference."

Erestor smiled more broadly and kissed Elrond again. Elrond pulled him close, as if he did not want to end the kiss. This kiss was longer. There was no lust in the kiss, only friendship and love. Neither wanted to break the kiss, but eventually it ended, if only because Elrond and Erestor were breathless.

"I love you," said Elrond, caressing Erestor's cheek.

Erestor smiled sadly, shook his head, and walked out of the room without another word.

* * *

Author's Note: I promise that the next chapter will deal entirely with Haldir. Honest. 


	22. Elven Hearts Part 4

Title: Elven Hearts Part 22

Notes: The next few chapters are going to be really confusing. They are even to me. But it will come together in the end…I swear!

* * *

Trapped. That was the best way to describe it. Only he didn't know how he was trapped or by whom. He just was.

The sky above him was the purest blue. The land around him was vibrantly green. The smell of flowers and life mingled with the acrid smells of blood and death in an odd combination. He could feel the soft grass under him.

He had no idea where he was.

He had no idea who he was.

Attempting to sit up, he found that none of the muscles of his body were responding. He tried again. Still, there was no response from any part of his body.

There was no pain. So he couldn't have been wounded so badly. He closed his eyes. Perhaps things would come back to him if he gave himself enough time. He began to think about what he knew about himself.

And he found his mind blank. It was as if he had never existed up until right now. Only that didn't make sense. He had the kind of knowledge that an educated adult would have. There was no personal anything though, no sense of self. He was just a storage of information without a name or a personality. The rational part of him knew that that was not even remotely possible. Still that was how things looked right now.

He heard the sound of metal on leather of a sword being drawn and his eyes opened. A beautiful face was above him; dark hair, chocolate eyes. Only there was no smile on that face. A sword point rested on his chest. "Who are you and what is your business in Imladris?" demanded the being. It was an elf, he realized.

He wondered if he still had the ability to talk. Licking his lips, he said, "I…I do not know."

The elf did not look impressed. In a harsher voice, he demanded, "Who are you and what is your business?"

"I do not know."

The elf closed his eyes for a second and muttered something under his breath. Then he opened his eyes and crouched down beside him. "Okay. We'll start this really simple. How did you get here?"

He shook his head. "I have no idea."

* * *

Erestor crouched beside the man. He had to admit that the man did look dazed and confused. There was a spark of intelligence behind the hazel eyes, though. There were no visible wounds on his body, no real reason for him to be sprawled out across the garden. It worried Erestor a little. "I am Erestor. You are in Imladris. Do you know where that is?"

The man nodded. "I have heard of it…I think."

This man was obviously wounded, perhaps mentally. There was nothing that Erestor could do for him. Perhaps Elrond could do something. "Can you stand?"

"No."

Erestor nodded. That was just what he had expected. Sliding his arms under the man's body, he lifted him up easily. The man was light as a feather. The long golden hair fell down past Erestor's arm. It seemed that the man did not even have the strength to hold his head up, so Erestor supported it with his elbow. "What is the last thing you remember?" he asked as he walked inside. Anything he could find out would be worth it.

"Waking up here."

That was so typical. Erestor sighed as he walked into the healing ward. He was met there by a healer he did not know. "Who is this?" demanded the elf.

"I do not know. But he is wounded…somehow. Is Elrond here?"

"No."

"Of course not. Can this man have a bed somewhere while I go to look for Elrond?"

The elf looked reluctant, but Erestor's position did have its perks now and again. Erestor was glad that this appeared to be one of them. The healer quickly did what he was told after a few delicate threats had been made.

Erestor then headed out. He had to find Elrond. Elrond was the only one that could possibly help this man.

* * *

Legolas was determined to see Elrohir. He had to find out certain things; namely, whether Elrohir had truly turned to Belegtur's side or if he was just putting on an extraordinarily good act. The only problem was that the guards outside Elrohir's room wouldn't let him in. Still, he was not going to give up. There had to be some way that he could see Elrohir and talk him out of this madness that had obviously consumed him.

It took covert investigation and a lot of planning, but he finally discovered that the room directly beneath Elrohir's was empty at night. So that night, he found his way to the room, opened the window, and climbed out. The walls were quite difficult to climb, but he was an elf; that made things easier. Finally, he was at Elrohir's window. He raised his hand to rap on the windowpane but then the window opened and someone hauled him in. It was Elrohir.

Elrohir looked only slightly amused. "What are you doing in Imladris, Legolas? More specifically, why are you trying to get into my room in the middle of the night?" He crossed his arms and assumed a very Elrond-ish expression that Legolas couldn't help but smile at.

"I thought that you needed some sense knocked into you." Legolas turned and closed the window. "But keep your voice down. The guards out there will hear you and then both of us will be in trouble."

"I care little if you get into trouble, Legolas."

Legolas sat down on Elrohir's un-slept-in bed. "Why are you doing this, Elrohir? Why are you throwing your life away…for that piece of scum? He doesn't care about you, you know that. Look what he did to your hand. He's using you, Elrohir. Why did you try to kill your father?"

"He deserved to die."

"Of many that can truly be said, but your father is not one of them." Legolas stood up briefly in order to grab Elrohir's wrist. He pulled the younger elf into a sitting position on the bed. "Has that foul creature Belegtur truly poisoned your mind so much?"

"No…now I see. Now I see what is wrong with this life. Legolas, you can't possibly understand…you haven't been through what I've been through…but there is a better way…"

"How can any way led by kinslayers and criminals be a better way?" demanded Legolas critically.

Elrohir shook his head and snorted condescendingly, "You will never understand, _Prince_ Legolas. But you helped me once, so I will not think badly of you. You can still be saved."

"Saved? I do not need to be saved, Elrohir! 'Tis you that needs saving!"

"There you are mistaken. I tire of this conversation. You believe that my way of thinking is wrong, but truly…it is just a different way. You and your kind do not like change. But change is coming, whether you are ready for it or not." Elrohir pulled his hand free of Legolas's grip and stood. "Now…leave me."

"I just want to help you."

"'Tis you that needs help, mellon." Elrohir opened the window.

"Do me one favor, at least."

Elrohir sighed and rolled his eyes. "Name it and I will see what I can do."

"Ask your father for mercy, he will grant it. Do not get yourself imprisoned…you would not survive it." Legolas smiled conspiratorially. "Besides, if you truly wish to change things…how will you manage that from inside a jail cell? Is it not better to fake remorse and get on with new plans than to have all hope dashed in the blink of an eye?" Legolas did not really mean a word of what he said, but that wasn't the point. He just wanted to prevent Elrohir from being jailed.

"I will not beg."

"I never asked you to. Your father doesn't want to punish you. Repent…or pretend to…and he will let you off lightly. Those are my words of advice to you…that, and drop this foolish act." Legolas disappeared out the window, thoroughly sick at heart.

* * *

Elrond turned as the door opened and Erestor walked in. A frown passed onto his face as he saw the concern on the other's features. He rose to his feet. "Is something wrong, mellon-nin?"

"I am…troubled and confused."

"By what?"

"I found a Man in the gardens. He has no idea who he is, how he got here, or what he is supposed to do now that is here. I fear that something is deeply wrong with him. You are renowned for your healing powers. There must be something that you can do about it."

"That accounts for part of it. But I don't think that it alone would trouble you so." Elrond knew his Chief Advisor well. Erestor was not overly sentimental about anything, never had been, probably never would be.

"No, you're right. I have had dealings with Men before. You know my opinion on them." In general, Erestor did not have an altogether very high opinion of Men. He found them coarse and irrational. "This Man was different in a way that I cannot name. He…there is a spark deep within him that is wholly not Man-like. It…scares me."

Elrond folded his arms around the slightly shorter elf. "My dearest Erestor…"

"Your _only_ Erestor," he reminded softly.

Elrond smiled. "There is no need for you ever to fear anything. I am here to protect you." He pulled Erestor's head up and kissed him lightly. It felt so good to be able to do that whenever he wanted. It was so good to know that Erestor loved him.

"I can protect myself, thank you very much." Erestor pulled out of the embrace. "Now, you have to go deal with this wretched Man, and I must consequently do all of the work that you should be doing. So be gone with you and let me get something done." He didn't like this sudden stream of attention that Elrond was focusing so intently on him. He didn't deserve it. He was so unused to it. It hadn't been since Glorfindel had courted him that he had felt this way. That had been a long time ago.

"_You're here…again." Erestor looked up from the scroll as he heard the footsteps and addressed Glorfindel._

"_Why would I be anywhere else when you are here?" asked Glorfindel, seating himself opposite of Erestor._

"_I have work to do…and I am sure that there are warrior-esque things that you should be doing." Erestor smiled. It wasn't that he didn't like this. It was just such an unusual sensation, to have a shadow such as this._

"_I would much rather spend time with you. Do you work all day and all night? You are always in the library! I have talked to those who know you and they agree with me. It is not good, Erestor, to live like this."_

"_Don't think that you can change my ways, Glorfindel. I am quite content with my life the way it is."_

"_Like hell you are."_

"_Excuse me?"_

_Glorfindel leaned across the table and kissed Erestor lightly. "I expect a visit from you tonight, mellon."_

Erestor shook his head to clear the memory away. He saw Elrond grinning at him. "What?" he demanded.

"I love to watch you daydream."

"I," said Erestor haughtily, "do not daydream."

Elrond laughed. "Of course you don't." He stole one last kiss from Erestor before going to deal with the Man he now had lying in his healing ward that really did have to be dealt with.

* * *

He was so confused. The elf, Erestor, had left him. Now he was somewhere else. He wished he knew where. There were soft whispers of voices in the air, but in a language that he had no knowledge of. Another face appeared above him. At first, he thought that Erestor had returned, but this elf had a more regal bearing. This elf, he instinctively knew, held power. "I am Lord Elrond," said the elf. "Who are you?"

"I do not know," he said. He wished that he could give a better answer, but truly there was none to give.

Elrond sighed. It was as Erestor said, then. And, like Erestor, he could detect something that was just somehow not right about the Man. "Do you remember nothing, then?"

"I remember waking up here."

Elrond sighed. It looked like he was going to have to go into this Man's mind and dig for the answers. He hated doing that, especially with mortals. Their minds were so cluttered. In general, he found this invasive, but with mortals, it was just plain annoying. He laid his hands on the Man's temples. "Try to relax and clear your mind." Elrond closed his own eyes as the mental link was formed. Then he let himself fall carefully into the Man's mind, not wanting to disrupt anything; his role was entirely an onlooker.

He was stunned by what he found.

All the usual humdrum knowledge of the way things were was there, as Elrond would have expected. The only problem was that it was all there was. There was no identity, no sense of self. Just blankness.

Elrond didn't understand. No matter how severe the damage, no matter how bad the injury, some fragment of Self always remained. Inadvertently, he severed the mind link and stepped back. Shaking his head slightly in the manner of one not used to being confused and puzzled at what to do when confusion set in, he mumbled under his breath, "What are you?"

"What?" asked the Man, not having heard Elrond's words.

"Nothing," said Elrond hastily. He was at a loss for what to do, really. How could he help this Man when there really was nothing to salvage? This Man was just a repository for information. This Man was not truly a being. There was nothing there. Nothing. "I have to consult some sources to decide upon the best course of action. Please remain here until I return." Elrond all but fled the room. He didn't know what to do and that scared him.

Now he knew what Erestor meant.

* * *

Elrohir knew that he had to take Legolas' advice. He would help no one if his father threw him into prison. It was best to fake remorse. So, shortly before noon, he opened his door and told his guards that he would like to speak with Lord Elrond. Though the disdain clearly showed in their voices, they agreed to find Lord Elrond. Elrohir retreated back inside and sat on the bed, waiting for his father.

His father did not keep him waiting long. Only a few minutes after he had told the guards, the door opened and Elrond walked in. "Hello, Elrohir. Do you have something you wish to say to me?"

"The actions I took were unforgivable, ada. I don't know…I don't know why I did it. Some evil stirred my heart. I did not mean to try to kill you."

"Does this have anything to do with Belegtur?"

_Ah. So my father has found out. I suppose that that was inevitable._ "I want nothing to do with him." He summoned up some tears. "Do you know what he did to me, father? I will never be the same…and I will never be free of him! You must forgive me, ada; I know not what goes on in my mind any longer."

Elrond felt a deep sadness for his son. He was wise enough, though, to not entirely trust Elrohir's words. "You have my forgiveness, Elrohir. I understand what it is to be influenced so strongly by someone that you lose control of what you want. I promise you that we will find Belegtur and kill him…"

"No, father, you know that we are bonded. If you kill him, you kill me as well."

Elrond shook his head. "No. There you are slightly wrong. True, you would normally slip into the Halls of Waiting if your bonded was stronger than you are…but, if the moment is selected carefully, another can bond with you as your old bond is severed and bring you back."

"That sounds impossibly complicated, father. And who, pray tell, would bond with me?"

"That is why we will not kill Belegtur just yet." Elrond smiled. "Though I may be a fool to trust you so soon after you tried to kill me, I will give you free run of the house. Do not attempt to leave, though, or I will imprison you. I want to keep you safe, Elrohir. I can only do that if you help me."

"I will do my best, ada."

* * *

Elladan was stalking the halls when he literally ran into an unfamiliar elf. Stumbling back, he frowned and demanded, "Who are you?" The elf was dressed as a commoner, certainly not the way any elf that spent much time here would dress. He studied the elf; he was tall, a little skinny for his height, with handsome, sculpted features and longish brown hair. He smiled and softened his tone, then repeated himself. Perhaps today would not be quite so boring. After all, one did not run across unknown beauties in their own home everyday.

"I am called Herulom," the elf said.

Elladan saw that this common elf dared meet his eye. "What are you doing here?"

Belegtur wanted to snarl at the younger elf. But he restrained himself. He would help no one, not Elrohir, and certainly not himself, by exploding at this youngster. So he forced a smile onto his face and said, "I desired an audience with Lord Elrond, Master Elladan."

Elladan wondered how the elf knew it was him, and then realized that he had had a fifty-fifty chance of getting it right. "I see. Have you met my father yet? For if you haven't, I'm sure that I could help you get your audience."

Belegtur liked Elladan. He was much bolder than his twin. He wondered if Elrohir would mind if he slept with Elladan. Deciding that Elrohir would be furious with him, he resolved that he would do so. "No, I haven't. It seems that he is most busy as of late. Matters as trivial as mine are of little importance to him." All of this was true, of course. He smiled. "Would you truly help me to see your father? What would I have to do in return?"

Elladan stepped closer, so that the two were almost touching. His hand ran lightly down the taller elf's chest, stopping just short of the groin. "I'm sure that I can think of something," he said in a seductive whisper. "Why don't you come back to my rooms with me and we'll see what I can work out." He licked his lips.

Belegtur grinned; his day had certainly gotten much better. If he couldn't have his bonded, then why not his bonded's twin? "If that is what you desire, I would be happy to please you."

"Good," said Elladan. "Now, follow me." He turned and led Herulom back to his rooms. Today was most definitely a good day. At least the elf seemed as eager about this as he was.

As soon as the door closed, Belegtur slammed Elladan against the wall. Elladan fought, but then again, Belegtur had expected him to. It would have been a severe disappointment had he not. Elladan mumbled some words of protest, but Belegtur was frankly not in the mood. He pushed Elladan's leggings down, freeing his erection. He was not in any way surprised when Elladan began to try to remove his clothes. But Belegtur stopped him. "Not yet, Elladan." Pulling Elladan's shirt unresistingly off, he ran his hands across Elladan's chest, noting that it was much more muscled than Elrohir's. Elladan was much more evidently a warrior.

Elladan now began to try to take control. He caught one of Herulom's hands and shoved it down to his throbbing erection. Herulom did not seem to want that, though, and only smiled. "Not yet, Elladan," he repeated. He kissed Elladan's cheek, then made his way down Elladan's jaw to his collarbone. Elladan tried to actually get a proper kiss from the elf, but once again, the elf did not seem to want that. It was most frustrating.

Belegtur was sincerely enjoying himself. Frustrating Elladan was proving to be great sport; but now the time had come for him to take what he wanted. He pulled off his own leggings and took Elladan hard. Elladan moaned and fell into his arms.

Then came the knock on the door.

Elladan wanted to ignore it. But he was old enough to know that if he didn't answer it, then one of two things would happen. Either the knocker would continue to do so, or would come in. Neither was advisable right now. Then again, ending this was severely inadvisable. "Go away," he said.

"Why?" asked a voice.

Elladan groaned. It was Erestor. Normally, he would be delighted by Erestor's unexpected arrival at his door, but now was the worst time imaginable. "Please…go away." Herulom was taking no mercy and was not stopping at all in order to let Elladan carry on a conversation.

"Are you…occupied?"

"If I say yes, will you go away?"

"Who is that?" demanded Belegtur.

Elladan glared at the elf. "None of your business. Could you just hurry up and finish?" Now that Erestor was here, he was tired of this elf. He would take Erestor over Herulom any day of the week.

Belegtur pulled out of Elladan, leaving both of them unsatisfied. He pulled his leggings up and headed for the door without another word.

Erestor entered as the other left and smiled when he saw Elladan. "I…ah…I suppose I should apologize for interrupting you." He walked over, licking his lips.

"I have a better idea. How about you deal with it?"

Erestor smiled and shook his head. "I'm sorry, but I don't have time right now. Your father sent me to get you. There is work that he needs you to help him with." He grinned, knowing that there was no way that Elladan was in any condition to work.

"I'm not going anywhere right now." He stepped forward, grabbed Erestor's wrist, and pushed him against the wall.

Erestor was stronger. He pulled free. In a quiet voice, almost haunted in nature, he said, "No, I cannot. I cannot do this any longer." Turning away from Elladan, he walked back towards the door. "I can play these games no longer."


	23. Elven Hearts Part 4

Chapter 23

* * *

Celeborn was aimlessly wanderingthe halls. He knew that he would not get actually lost; he had spent too much time here. It was just good to lose himself for a while. That way, he could pretend that Haldir was waiting for him in his rooms. Even though the rational part of him knew that he would never see Haldir again. Unless he traveled to the Halls of Waiting, something he honestly had no desire to do.

He passed by the healing ward and looked in. Something of a healer himself, he was amazed and awed by the skills that Elrond possessed. It was reasonably empty today. Celeborn noticed though, that there was a Man lying in one of the beds. This area was not well traveled by Men and Celeborn was genuinely curious (as well as slightly bored), and so walked over. The Man was awake and looked at him with big hazel eyes.

Celeborn smiled; he knew how intimidating he could be to strangers. "I am Lord Celeborn. Who are you?"

"I don't know." He was so tired of giving that answer.

Celeborn was amused but he couldn't show it. This Man obviously had some problems. That was why he was here, in Elrond's care. "Very well. You look like you need some company. Would you like me to stay with you?"

"Could you?"

"Of course. But I will need to call you something, if only until you remember your true name." Celeborn knew that it would be important for this Man to have a sense of self, even if it was a false one. To not know who you were would be devastating.

"I have no name."

"Of course you do. Until you remember yours, though, I shall call you…Tingil." There was a sparkle about the Man that seemed otherworldly and puzzled Celeborn quite a bit. "Is that alright with you?"

"Tingil." He tested the name out. It fit as well as any other. As he had no name, he should be grateful that someone was willing to take the time to give him one. A name meant that someone needed something to call him by. That meant he was wanted. "I can live with that."

Celeborn smiled. "So, where did you come from, Tingil?"

"I do not know."

Ah. So he was one of _those_ cases. Celeborn sensed that the Man wasn't making it up, either, that he genuinely had no idea who he was or where he was from. It was worrying, to say the least. "Has Lord Elrond seen you yet?"

"Yes, he was here earlier. He said he would return…would you…stay with me until he does?"

"Of course I will." Celeborn seated himself next to the Man. He sensed that Elrond would be a while.

* * *

Elrond was sitting in his study, surrounded by books. None of them were any use. He was starting to lose hope. There were simply no documented cases where a person had literally no identity. Elrond had been called inventive before, but to do anything would require him to conjure up an entire life and place it within this Man's head. That was something he couldn't do. Ethically, he couldn't do that.

"Father, Erestor sent me to see you," said Elladan.

Elrond didn't really have any need for his son, and wondered what Elladan had done to irk Erestor. "I'm not sure that you can really be of any use to me, Elladan. I am having…difficulty with a patient of mine." He gestured at all the objects around him. "And I am having no luck."

"Then you know what you need?"

Elrond raised an eyebrow, but played along. "What do I need?"

"You need to relax. Is this elf in danger of dying?"

"'Tis a Man, not an elf."

That surprised Elladan. His father did not often treat Men, only in desperate cases. "Is this Man in danger of dying?"

"Not to the best of my knowledge."

"Then go and lie down. He will wait. There is no need for you to burn yourself out because of him, is there?"

Elrond smiled. Elladan sounded exactly like him when he chastised Erestor for working too hard. Truly, his sons were growing up just like him. The thought pleased him. "Do you know where Erestor is?" It would be good to unburden his mind to someone who understood.

"Yes, I saw him not long ago, as you know. I do not know where he was headed. He seemed…agitated and worried." A brief pause. "Perhaps he has gone to the library, then. It is so peaceful there."

Elrond nodded. "I shall seek him out there. Try not to cause any trouble, Elladan." He, for some reason, had always felt it necessary to say that to his eldest son when he left Elladan to his own devices.

"Do you really think I would?"

"I know you would."

* * *

Elladan had been right. As Elrond stepped into the library, he saw Erestor curled up on a chair, reading. He was loath to disturb him, but he was sure that Erestor would understand. So he walked closer, not wanting to have to shout. "Erestor?" he said in a quiet voice.

Erestor looked up and Elrond could clearly see tear stains on Erestor's face. He uncurled and sat up in a more dignified position. "What can I do for you, my lord?" He looked slightly confused.

Elrond sighed heavily. "Don't, Erestor. Please. I can't deal with it today. Come; let's go back to my room. I've had a bad day…and it looks like you have as well." He offered his hand to Erestor who did not take it, just stared at it.

"I…don't understand, my lord."

Now Elrond was confused. "What do you mean, you don't understand?" Elrond was not in the mood to play one of Erestor's games. He had thought that their relationship had progressed beyond that point. "Really, Erestor, I don't want to play these games with you anymore. My day has been long already."

Erestor radiated genuine confusion. "I fear I know not of what you speak, my lord." There was no hint of malice or joking in his tone. It was pure and simple confusion.

Something extremely traumatic must have happened since Erestor had come to see him earlier, Elrond decided. For the life of him, though, he couldn't imagine what it was. So he walked closer to Erestor. "I would like to see what is troubling you so. But…I will have to go into your mind. I would ask your permission to do so." If at all possible, he always asked permission before intruding into someone else's most sacred place: their mind.

"Of course you have my permission, my lord."

Cautiously, not knowing at all what to expect, he placed his fingers on Erestor's temples. He had asked before to enter Erestor's mind, when Erestor had seemed particularly troubled, long ago, but Erestor had denied him entrance. Now Elrond was intensely curious. Erestor's past had always been a mystery to him. As much as he shouldn't enjoy it, he would be happy to finally do away with all the barriers between them. Much more easily than with the Man, he sunk into Erestor's mind.

And immediately hit an iron barrier.

The reverberations threw Elrond out of Erestor's mind. Steeling himself, he entered again. This time, while he felt the shock of the barrier, he did not allow it to throw him out. Before trying himself against it, he explored what was given to him. It was very bare, frighteningly like the Man's, with scarcely more of an identity. It was as if Erestor had willfully decided to forget everything about who he was. No elf could do that; no elf could willingly destroy his Self.

What had happened? Erestor had been reasonably fine this morning, certainly not this cold, distant elf. No, worse than that. This Erestor didn't even know he was being distant, because he did not know what it was to be close. Elrond did not know what happened, but was determined not to lose Erestor. So he threw himself against the barrier, hoping to crack it and pick the pieces up later. As much as he knew that that was a bad idea, Erestor _was_ his lover.

It didn't work. Elrond was once again thrown out of Erestor's mind. "What have you done to yourself, Erestor?"

"What do you mean, my lord?"

Now that he had established that it was going to be a long and arduous task to find out what was truly wrong with Erestor, he had to determine exactly how much of himself Erestor retained. Entering Erestor's mind one last time, he carefully probed the bits that he was still given entrance to. All of Erestor's knowledge remained, as well as some scanty remnants of other elves. Elrond did not fail to notice that nothing of Glorfindel remained, nor of Haldir. All in all, Erestor was truly no longer fit right now to remain as his Chief Advisor. The good thing was that Erestor had no memory of ever being a Chief Advisor. Elrond decided to make him a scribe. Such would allow him to get used to life while Elrond tried to figure out what to do.

He released contact with Erestor's mind. Adopting an impersonal tone, he said, "You will be late to begin your duties." He scribbled a quick note to the Chief Scribe explaining matters briefly. Hopefully there would be no questions in that area. "Now, be gone with you."

Erestor rose to his feet and bowed. "Of course, my lord." With a slight smile, Erestor walked past Elrond and out of the library.

Once Elrond was alone, he sank to his knees. In a tortured voice, he said, "Why, why must you do this to me? Am I never to find happiness?" He damned the Valar and knew that he was damning himself in turn but he didn't care. He had had Erestor for the briefest of moments. Now Erestor was lost to him.

* * *

Legolas needed to speak to Erestor. Of all the elves in Imladris, he felt that the only one he could talk to was Erestor. It wasn't even that he had known Erestor for an overly long time, but Erestor had always been the kind of elf that you couldn't get out of your head. And he had always been ready to help, no matter the problem. So he walked to Erestor's office and found it empty.

More than that, papers were strewn across the desk in a disorder that was completely unlike Erestor. The chair was overturned and more papers were scattered across the floor. A sword lay unsheathed near the door. Legolas quickly left and sought out Elrond, who he found in his office. "Something terrible has happened!" he announced.

Elrond was ready to kill someone; he just had to decide who. This day had been the worst of his life, no holds barred. "What do you mean, something terrible has happened?" The last thing he needed was another incident.

"I think that someone has attacked Erestor."

Elrond stood up. "What do you mean?"

"I went to look for him…his office looks like he was fending off an attacker. I do not know if he succeeded or not…"

"He did not," said Elrond quietly. The someone who Legolas was referring to had to be the one that had closed Erestor's mind like this. It would explain a lot. But it would take a powerful enchantment to do that. Very powerful. "I am afraid that someone got to Erestor. He does not appear to be physically wounded…but mentally he is troubled. Most of his mind is locked away behind a barrier I cannot breach. Currently, he is serving as a scribe, but I hope that in time I can help him."

Legolas was stunned beyond words. "So…who will be your Chief Advisor, now that Erestor is unfit?"

"I shall ask my sons to assist me. I think that they will suffice for the time being." Elrond sat back down. "If you are planning to remain any length of time, I would ask one thing from you."

"While I am in Imladris, I am at your command, Lord Elrond."

"Befriend him. I know not if he will remember you or if he does, how much he will remember. Try not to bring up the past, I do not wish to confuse him. He will need friends. I will be there for him, but I love him. He needs someone else, someone who doesn't."

"Of course, Elrond. I will endeavor to find some way to help him." As Legolas left the room, he was deeply troubled. Just when Elrond and Erestor had finally appeared to be forging the first bonds of a relationship, something like this had to happen. Sometimes it seemed as though the Valar had no mercy on Elrond or those he cared about.

* * *

Celeborn smiled as Elrond walked in, but the smile disappeared as he saw the lost look on Elrond's face. "What is amiss?" he asked, rising to his feet.

"I will explain later," said Elrond, not wanting to have to go into it again. He would have to make a general announcement to his household, as no one would expect this and he wanted Erestor's life to be as normal as he could possibly make it. "So you have been keeping this Man company?"

"He reminds me much of myself."

"How so?"

"He is lost in a way that I could never be, but at times, I feel that I might as well have no sense of Self. Especially now that I have lost Haldir. Though there is not much that he and I can talk about, his presence…reassures me somehow."

"I am glad that he has found a friend in you." What it also meant was that Elrond could now devote more time to helping his lover. "But I am still at a loss as to what to do with this Man. There is little I can do to help him…he has no name…no nothing."

"I have given him a name. I could not speak to anyone who called themselves nameless. I called him Tingil."

Elrond smiled. "That is all good and well, but I have my doubts that that is his true name. How am I supposed to give a being an entire identity when I have no foundations upon which to build it? Whatever suggestions I placed in his mind, if they did not drive him insane, would seem false. And they would be false, because the memories I would have to give him would not be true memories." Elrond's voice was losing its sanity; slowly, yes, but Celeborn could tell that Elrond was losing his grip on sanity.

"Go and lie down, Elrond," said Celeborn firmly, treating Elrond as though he were some Elfling. "I will stay with Tingil. We will worry about Erestor later. You need to calm down. The last thing Imladris needs is to lose its Lord. Do you understand me?"

"Yes," said Elrond meekly. His world had just crashed down and shattered into a million pieces around him. It was only right that he take some time to sort out his mind.

* * *

Elrohir was looking for his father when he saw Belegtur walking down the halls as casually as if he had always been here. Shock and surprise appeared instantly on Elrohir's face. He walked over quickly. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I came to rescue you," said Belegtur, pulling the younger elf into an empty room and kissing him. "But it seems now that you have no need of being rescued."

"Do you know how dangerous it is here? What if someone had recognized you?" Elrohir realized that Legolas was here as well. "You have to leave, Belegtur. This is insane. I'm not going to get you killed just because you're stubborn."

"You won't let me stay?"

"No. I will come and visit you when I can…but you cannot stay unless you truly wish for my father to catch you and kill you!"

Belegtur's hands slipped into Elrohir's robes. "You know how long it has been?" he demanded. "I want you."

"Not here." Now that they were here, Elrohir was supremely rational. "We can't…"

"I'm sick of you telling me what I can and cannot do, princeling." He shoved Elrohir into the wall, but then the doorknob began to turn. Both elves hurriedly made themselves decent. The door opened and a servant walked in. The servant took little notice of Elrohir and Belegtur; he just put some things on a shelf and then walked out again.

"See," said Elrohir. "I don't want you to get killed. And I just managed to convince my father that I didn't want to kill him."

Belegtur bowed his head. "Fine. I'll leave. But I'd best see you soon."

"You will," vowed Elrohir, and sealed it with a kiss.

* * *

Through careful planning and much assistance from several servants, Legolas managed to 'accidentally' bump into Erestor. He smiled. "Hello, Erestor. I don't know if you remember me. I am…"

"Prince Legolas," said Erestor respectfully. "I know of you, but I do not believe that we have met."

"No, we have not," agreed Legolas. There was no point in confusing Erestor. "But you can just call me Legolas. I do not like titles." He could see that he was intimidating Erestor and didn't like it. "Come, walk with me." They were outside, in the gardens. It was just before sunset, a perfect time for an aimless wandering around Imladris.

"If you wish."

Legolas looked Erestor over as they began to walk. He looked so peaceful, and he looked millennia younger. Those dark eyes that had been sad and haunted for as long as Legolas had known him were free from misery. They were curious, just like an Elfling's. Erestor's posture was not as confident as Legolas remembered, but held its own dignity, the dignity of…innocence. While none that knew Erestor would call him such, even Legolas, it was exactly the word that formed in Legolas' mind. _Perhaps this change, whatever it was, was for the best._ Immediately, he chastised himself for this thought. No one had the right to take someone's life away from them; even a life as painful as Erestor's.

"How long have you been in Imladris?" he asked. He wanted to know the bounds of Erestor's memory.

"It is odd, but I do not recall arriving, yet I know that this is not the place of my birth. It is like…there is a gap in my life. That sounds stupid." Erestor turned away from Legolas.

This Erestor had none of the old Erestor's witty self-confidence, either. "'Tis not stupid, Erestor. Lord Elrond has told me what a good scribe you are. He would like to elevate you in position soon, perhaps to one of his advisors." Legolas knew he was pushing it, but this would make it easier for Erestor to accept when Elrond finally sprung it on him.

Erestor stopped in his path. "I do not understand. Please explain to me, Prince Legolas, if you can. I will detail my situation. I know that I was born of common parents. My father was a laborer in the fields and my mother was a servant in a Lord's home. I know that the Lord became interested in me and treated me as a son. He made me a scribe. That is all I know. Now I am in Imladris and surrounded my unfamiliar faces…I have lost millennia, but I do not know to where."

Legolas had no answer for Erestor. "I do not know, Erestor. All I know is that I would like to call you friend. Is that acceptable?"

Erestor nodded cautiously. "Yes…Tell me, what year is this?...what age is this?"

"'Tis the Third Age, Erestor…"

Erestor fell to his knees. "Where has my life gone? I have no recollection of…anything." He looked up at Legolas and those eyes that had just before been pure and innocent, returned to their haunted state.

"Erestor," said Elrond, walking over. He had heard the conversation and ached to help his best friend, his lover. "I think that there are some things that need explaining. Come with me and I will be glad to explain them to you." Elrond began to hastily wrack his mind for any kind of stupid explanation that he could give to Erestor. "Unless you would rather spend time with Legolas."

Erestor looked to be almost in tears. "I think…I think that I would rather be alone, my lord. There is much that I must think about."

"Very well, Erestor. Good night." Legolas and Elrond watched as Erestor hurried away. Elrond's voice broke slightly as he said, "I can't take this and I can't see him like this. All I want is to be able to hold him and take away his pain. But I can't, because he doesn't even know that I love him!"

"Something has taken away all his pain, Elrond. All he remembers is being a scribe to some Lord a long time ago, presumably. He knows nothing of the hurts that Glorfindel inflicted on him, which, if you think about it, are the root of all of his problems. Someone took that from him. I'm not saying that it was the right thing to do, but…"

"I want Erestor back," said Elrond fiercely. "No one has the right to toy with anyone else's mind for any reason."

"Then you had best come up with a good explanation for Erestor having lost several millennia. Have you seen how much younger he looks…how the pain is gone from his face, from his eyes…"

Elrond nodded. "Yes, I see all of that. But it is the old Erestor that I loved." He shook his head. "Whoever did this to him…" Elrond sank down to his knees much the same way that Erestor had done in this same spot only moments before. "I just want things to go back to being the way they were."

"That is a fruitless wish, and you know it," chastised Legolas gently. "We will fix things, we will fix Erestor. I swear that to you."

"I love him so much…and now I can't even tell him."

Legolas pulled the much older elf to his feet. "I dare say that you could," he replied jokingly.

"Right. Because he isn't terrified of me enough as it is." But a smile crossed briefly onto Elrond's face. "I will think of something. If Erestor is truly as naïve as he appears, then my problems in fooling him should be minimal." He laid a gentle hand on Legolas' shoulder. "I should take my rest now, Legolas. These are going to be a long few days."

"I believe that you are right about that." Legolas smiled as he watched Elrond leave and then continued to walk the gardens. The Valar had certainly seen fit to plunge Imladris into chaos. Nothing had gone right here for so long now. And just when things started to look like they were heading for the better, something like this had to happen. Legolas knew better than to think that Elrond would be much of a leader until he had won Erestor over in , no matter what he had to do. And somehow, he had managed to get himself caught up in it. Now he understood what his father meant when he told Legolas that 'those Imladris elves are nothing but trouble and attract it from every quarter'. Legolas could think of no better explanation for the events that had occurred here.

* * *

Celeborn had left Tingil's side after night fell and went to see Elrond. He found Elrond crying in his room. Without any hesitation, he took Elrond into his arms and held him until the sobs subsided. "Everything will work out in its own time," he whispered. "You have to stay strong, or everything will fall apart."

"Don't leave me," pleaded Elrond in a choked voice. "I have lost everyone I held dear to me. I don't want to be alone this night."

Celeborn stretched out on the bed behind Elrond, holding him tightly. "We all have bad days, mellon."

"I am having a bad millennium," grumbled Elrond.

* * *

Author's Note: This all just kind of happened. Any advice for me on how to dig myself out of this hole would be more than welcome. 


	24. Elven Hearts Part 4

Chapter 24

* * *

He smiled when he saw Imladris on the horizon. It was so good to know that his journey was over. He had been wandering most of his life, drifting from place to place. He had no family, no one to care about him. Then he had heard about Imladris. It sounded like heaven to him. He had nearly died getting here, but now he was recovered and ready to start his life. He was about medium-height, with coal-black eyes, a slender frame from years of malnutrition, and shoulder-length chestnut hair. None who looked upon him would call him beautiful, but he grew on people. People would find their gazes drawn to him again and again, and in their minds, his beauty grew. His name was Esgaldur.

Imladris looked especially beautiful with the backdrop of a sunrise. He spurred his horse on and arrived at the stables. Immediately, an elf took his horse and another led him inside. "Who are you and what is your business?" asked the elf.

"My name is Esgaldur, and I would like to work for Lord Elrond."

"What are your skills?"

"I am both a warrior and a scholar and will serve as either. Whichever suits Lord Elrond's needs best." He was led to a room and told to wait. He waited quite a long time. It was understandable, he supposed, as he had arrived very early. One could not expect many to be up at such an unforgiving hour.

Eventually, though someone walked in. "I am Lord Elrond. If you would wish to work for me, then there is plenty that can be done. I have been told that you are both warrior and scholar. Do you have a preference? You see, I need both."

"I would prefer a warrior's duties, my lord."

"Very well. I will assign you a captain. He will find you a place in the barracks. Do not let me hear bad things of you, Esgaldur."

"No, my lord. I will be sure that you do not."

* * *

Elladan saw Erestor early that morning. He remembered what his father had told him yesterday and so didn't initially talk to him. Erestor looked at him but there was no sign of recognition in his eyes. That hurt Elladan, a little. But he was reassured by the fact that something had severely messed Erestor up and that his father was working his hardest to reverse it.

There was no harm, though, in pretending that they had just met. So he walked over to Erestor. "Greetings. I am Elladan."

"Erestor," said Erestor.

"I do not think I have seen you around here before," said Elladan, hoping to find some safe ground for conversation.

"I work mostly in the library. There would be no reason for you to meet me."

Elladan found this Erestor instantly endearing. Not the cocky elf that he had been, but a much subdued version. "Are you assuming that I never enter a library?" he asked jokingly.

Erestor looked him up and down. "You look like a warrior."

Elladan laughed. He could really get to like this Erestor.

* * *

Elrond sat down at his desk. Celeborn stood by the door. "I have to get things in order," said Elrond. Having had a good night's rest had done wonders for his sanity. How long that grip would remain now exposed to the light of day was yet to be seen. Elrond felt slightly guilty for imposing this burden upon Celeborn, who was doing some grieving of his own, but Celeborn did not seem to mind. "I can't let everything go to ruin over a couple of little incidents."

Celeborn wouldn't consider any of what happened recently 'little incidents', but who was he to quibble over that? Imladris needed an Elrond that was in control, and if this was what it took, then so be it. "I am here to help you, Elrond. Tell me what you need done, and I will see it happen."

"First, I need someone to keep an eye on Elrohir. I'm still suspicious of his intentions. I don't want him to leave here. He has a bonded mate, Belegtur, the leader of the rebel movement. I don't know how deeply Belegtur has poisoned his mind."

"I can do that."

"I also need someone to keep an occasional eye on the Man…Tingil, did you call him? Very well, I might as well, too. I need someone to keep an occasional eye on Tingil, just to make sure he doesn't hurt himself. I don't know what he'll do."

"I can do that, too."

"Erestor was supposed to look over these reports from Lorien…uh…you wanted an answer back soon. I'm not sure that I want you to read these. Hmm…I'll get Elladan to do it later." He looked around his desk.

"Do you want me to take Erestor's position until such time as he is ready to have it back?"

Elrond nodded gratefully. "I know it's a lot to ask of you, Celeborn…"

"I am Lord of Lorien, Elrond. I am used to working some."

"How long can you stay?"

"I'm sure Galadriel has things under control. I can stay here as long as you need me to." Celeborn frowned. "Erestor's one of those people that takes so much work on himself that no one else could manage to do it, right?"

"Yes."

"And he routinely spends all night working?"

"Quite routinely."

"Yes, he is just like me, then. I think I will adapt quickly. Though I wouldn't mind help, in the form of your sons or anyone else you can free up for the task. Eventually, you'll probably want to give Erestor some of it."

"Yes." Elrond shook his head. "Do you think that I should talk to Erestor today…or should I let it wait a little longer?"

"You intimidate him. Find some other way to make him comfortable with his surroundings before you try to win him over again. Otherwise you'll lose him forever." Celeborn hated to tell Elrond not to seek out the elf he loved, but he knew that Elrond would rather wait a little and then get Erestor rather than never having him again. "Find him some friends."

"Can he not find his own friends?"

"I don't know. However, if you engineer his friends, then I am sure that you can find some way to talk to him more often."

Elrond smiled at Celeborn's scheme. Sometimes the older elf really did surprise Elrond. "Very well…I will do as you say." Elrond bowed his head. "I have one more favor to ask of you."

"Name it."

"I don't wish to impose on you…but I do not like to be alone at night."

"Of course I will spend my nights with you, if that is what you wish." Celeborn knew that there was nothing sexual in either of their intentions. Celeborn was busy getting over Haldir and Elrond was busy trying to win over Erestor.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Celeborn."

"You'd survive. You are the kind of elf that cannot be beaten down, no matter what you are faced with. That is why I admire you so much."

Elrond smiled at the compliment. "As much as I would like to continue this conversation, I think that both of us need to get some work done."

"Agreed. I shall see you later then, Elrond."

Elrond watched Celeborn leave. It was good to know that he had a friend that was willing to put aside all of his problems in order to deal with Elrond's.

It was the kind of thing that Erestor did.

* * *

"Good morning, Tingil."

He sat up, stretched, then shook his head. "No, Lord Elrond. I am not Tingil."

A smile managed to make its way onto Elrond's face. It felt so strange to be there, considering Elrond's mood, but he couldn't help it. Maybe everything wasn't so hopeless. "Very well. Who are you?" Then again, he told himself, this could just be a fit of madness.

"I don't know. But I know that I am not Tingil."

"Okay. Will you let me into your mind again?" He tried to calm himself. He could adversely affect this Man if he was carrying any emotion too strongly. When he received a nod from the Man, he allowed himself in. It was still quite devoid of Self, but not as much as before. It was as though the Man was developing an identity. Elrond had never heard of such a thing before, but this whole situation was unheard of. When he retreated, he asked, "What do you remember, exactly?" He did not view memories of mortals. It was just a personal issue. Elves were another matter entirely.

"I remember…blood. Lots of blood. And screaming. It was all elves…elves and orcs…there was so much death…and there was nothing I could do about it…they're all dying…I can't help them…I see their dull eyes…their bodies fall and fall and fall…there's so much pain…oh please….stop…"

Elrond shook the Man. The Man shuddered, as if breaking out of a trance. In a hushed voice, he said, "I don't think that I want to have any more memories."

* * *

Legolas was helping Celeborn some. It was funny, he decided. He was Mirkwood's heir and Celeborn was Lorien's ruler, yet here they were, putting themselves under Elrond's control. What was funnier was that neither of them minded. "How did Erestor ever manage to get any work done?" demanded Legolas.

Celeborn smiled. It had taken them a while to clean this place up, but once that was done, they had found more work than an army could do. Yet Celeborn had no doubts that Erestor was nearly done most of it. Or had been, before whatever had happened to him. Still, they had been working for hours and had not even yet made a noticeable dent on the pile. "Come," he said, rising to his feet and stretching. "It will do us good to get some fresh air. Let us spar. It will help relieve this tension."

Legolas grinned. "I'll cream you, Celeborn."

Laughing, the two elves made their way outside to the practice yard, which was already filled with elves. A space was cleared for them. Their match did not last long. It only took a couple of minutes before Celeborn had Legolas up against a wall with his sword point against Legolas's throat. "You were saying something," he said, stepping back.

Legolas shook his head and looked around. Most of the elves here were familiar. They had all been here for so long. Then he saw one that he did not recognize. Pulling aside one of the elves, he pointed out the unfamiliar one and asked, "Who is that?"

"He is new; he arrived only this morning, he calls himself Esgaldur."

Legolas watched Esgaldur fight; the elf was skilled with a sword, probably more so than even him. He called Celeborn over and pointed Esgaldur out. "Bet you can't beat him."

"Bet me what?"

"You win, I'll work this afternoon and you can take it off; I win, you're working alone."

"Deal." Celeborn walked over and talked to Esgaldur. They began to spar. Legolas watched with great interest, as did every other elf that was in the yard. Though it did look like Celeborn would win, Esgaldur was giving him a good workout. Celeborn was clearly the more skilled fighter, but Esgaldur had many inventive attacks that kept Celeborn alert. Legolas began to regret making that bet.

Celeborn got Esgaldur down onto his knees, but with a cunning stroke, Esgaldur nearly disarmed Celeborn and scrambled back to his feet. With one more decisive blow, the sword flew from Celeborn's hand to a spot nearly ten feet away. Celeborn began to back towards it, but Esgaldur tripped him.

Legolas grinned to himself as Celeborn retrieved the sword and walked back over. Celeborn shook his head and punched Legolas, then walked off.

* * *

Elrohir really, really wanted to go see Belegtur. He knew, though, that his father had someone watching him and that his father would find out if he left. This was a dilemma to him. Either he had to figure out who his minder was and get rid of them, or forget about visiting Belegtur. He had no intentions of not going to see Belegtur, which left only one option.

There was only one person in Imladris that might be willing to help him. So he went to see his brother. "Elladan, you have to help me."

Elladan smiled at his twin. "You know I love you, I'll do whatever I can." He ruffled his twin's hair affectionately, his smile broadening when Elrohir squirmed out of his grasp.

"I need to get out of here, but father has forbidden me to do so."

"Why do you want to leave?" asked Elladan critically. He would help his twin, but not if it would in any way endanger his father or Imladris. "And why would that be a problem for you? It's not as if neither of us have snuck out of here before without ada noticing."

"Because I'm sure that ada has someone watching me to make sure that I stay here. He seems that way. And I need to figure out who this person is and figure out how to ensure that they don't rat me out to ada."

"Ada will pick someone loyal, Elrohir. You know that. I can only help so much there…"

"No, tell ada that you want to get out of here awhile. He'll understand. Then ask to take me as well. I won't be any trouble to you…please, Elladan. I need to get out of here."

"You never told me why."

"There's someone I have to see." Elrohir dropped to his knees. "I'm begging you, Elladan. Please help me out."

Elladan bowed his head. "Fine. I can't promise that ada will agree to it, but I will give it a try."

Elrohir nearly knocked him over with the force of the hug which he bestowed upon his twin. "I will never forget this and I will love you forever." He dashed out of the room.

Elladan smiled bemusedly. He adored his twin beyond words, but Elrohir had changed somehow. It had to be Elrohir's mate. And Elladan was nearly certain that that was who Elrohir claimed that he needed to see. Elladan was deeply troubled. Part of him truly did want to help his brother, but he didn't want to see Elrohir change into something unrecognizable, either. To save his brother from that, Elladan knew that this mate of his, Belegtur, had to die, sooner or later. This wasn't right. It was usually him getting into the worst of messes, and Elrohir having to get him out of them. It seemed that Elrohir was finally getting back at him.

In the worst way possible.

* * *

Elrond didn't see Celeborn the rest of the day until the night, when Celeborn let himself into Elrond's room. Though Celeborn initially thought that Elrond was asleep, Elrond said, "Come here," and so Celeborn walked over to join Elrond in bed.

Wrapping an arm around Elrond's slender figure, traitorous thoughts first began to enter his mind. Elrond was a beauty, that was undeniable, and was a prize by any and every standard that Celeborn could think of. What was more, he was even more precious to Celeborn when he was as he was now, namely, scared and helpless, vulnerable. He stopped this train of thoughts before they got out of hand. "Good-night, Elrond," he whispered into the delicate ear, grinning to himself at the fact that it made Elrond shudder a little.

"Stop it," murmured Elrond, clearly half-asleep. "You'll make me think that you're trying to seduce me."

"Never, mellon. Anyway, I had an idea today."

"I'm trying to sleep," said Elrond, but his voice was more alert than before. He turned so that he was facing Celeborn. "Okay, you're not going to leave me alone until I hear you out, so what is it?"

"I sparred today with an elf that has just arrived in Imladris…by the name of Esgaldur, I believe. He is quite talented with a sword, by the way."

"That's wonderful, but why did you have to tell me that right now?"

Celeborn pulled a mock-upset face. "I thought that he would make a good companion for Erestor. Everyone else here would have previous expectations of him. But Esgaldur truly has never met him and so they can actually start off fresh."

"'Tis a good idea. I will talk to this Esgaldur tomorrow. Now, I want to sleep." He threw an arm around Celeborn and snuggled up to him.

Once Celeborn was certain that Elrond was sleeping, he pressed a gentle kiss onto Elrond's raven hair and murmured, "I will keep you safe, mellon, whatever it takes."

* * *

Esgaldur was partially surprised and completely afraid when he woke and found that he had been summoned to see Lord Elrond. Dressing quickly, he asked an elf to direct him to Lord Elrond's study, which he entered with considerable trepidation.

Elrond smiled at the other's nervousness. "I heard from Lord Celeborn that you are quite good with a sword."

"I do what I can, my lord."

"I have a favor to ask of you, Esgaldur. There is an elf here that has had…an accident, and parts of his memory have not returned. Everyone else here knows him as he was and expect things from him that he cannot currently do. You, on the other hand, have never met him and so…I would like you to try to be friendly with him. He could use a friend."

"Perchance I do know this elf. Who is he?"

"His name is Erestor."

Esgaldur grinned. "I have heard _of_ him, but I have never met him. Yes, I would be glad to befriend him."

"Do not expect much from him…he has changed much. I will arrange a meeting for the two of you…before, he was quite skilled with a sword as well. I know not if he still has those skills, but that is something, at least."

Esgaldur nodded again. "As I said, I will do what I can to help you, my lord. If you arrange a meeting for us, I will gladly attend it and make Erestor my friend."

"Thank you. You will be in my debt. I will have someone contact you when the meeting is arranged."

Esgaldur smiled, nodded, and walked out of the room. Almost immediately, someone knocked on Elrond's door. "Come in," he called.

Elladan walked in, a dismal expression on his face. "I have a problem, father."

"Sit down, Elladan. I have not seen you so upset in quite a while. Does this have anything to do with Erestor?"

"No…but I saw him earlier…I think I could like him as he is now…he joked with me that the reason I claimed to have never seen him was that I was a warrior and he was always in the library, implying that I never entered one."

"You do only rarely, Elladan," reminded Elrond.

"Whatever. Still, I can get used to him. That is not what is pressing so heavily on my mind."

"Please, tell me. There must be something I can do to help." His son really did look genuinely distressed.

"It's Elrohir. He told me last night…well, practically begged me…to help him…and I didn't know what to say…and I told him I'd talk to you…so that's why I'm here…but I don't know what to do…"

Elrond was barely following this inane babble. "What exactly, does Elrohir want your help with?" He knew he had to put his eldest son into a more rational mood. These questions had obviously been going around in Elladan's head for too long.

"He wants to leave here…he won't tell me why…and he says that you have someone watching him…I think he's going crazy, ada."

"Well, I do have someone keeping an eye on him…and no, Elladan, I won't tell you who it is. And you say that you have no idea why he wants to leave?"

"Well, I suspect it's because of his mate…Belegtur, but I don't know that for sure."

"I can't let him leave, Elladan."

Elladan nodded. "I know, ada, but he's my twin, and I can tell that he's hurting. His mind is conflicted and I want to be able to do something about it. I hate to see him like this. It's just as if it were me having to make these choices in my life."

"Choices?" asked Elrond curiously.

"Yes. Whether to stay here and live his life out as he always has…or to give it all up in his hope that something better will occur with our destruction."

* * *

Then came the daily visit with Tingil (though he no longer answered to that). Frankly, Elrond, now burdened with many other problems, was finding the Man quite annoying. As he had done yesterday, he went into the Man's mind, and found evidence that more of his Self was returning. Retreating again, he asked, "What do you remember now?"

The Man paused, thinking, apparently trying to put what he remembered into coherent speech, unlike yesterday's outburst. "I remember…I think I remember my home. It's…there are so many trees…it's so beautiful…it's musical, almost, though that isn't the right word for it. That's one memory. Then there's another that sticks out in my mind. It's an elf. He's blonde…beautiful…I think his name…his name is Gl…"

"Glorfindel?" demanded Elrond.

"Yes," said the Man. "His name is Glorfindel. I hate him…I don't know why…he wronged me…somehow…caused me pain…somehow…I fear that that memory is not complete."

"So you have had dealings with elves in the past, then?"

"I suppose I must have…I'm sorry to be such a burden to you, Lord Elrond. I do not have to stay here if you do not wish for me to do so."

"No, you are more than welcome to stay here. I would be a poor host if I denied you even that. You are safe here, and you need somewhere safe to…recuperate. Perhaps soon you will even learn your true name. But you are free to stay however long you wish, even after you recover. Imladris has long been known for that."

"I thank you then, Lord Elrond."

"I do what I can."

* * *

Erestor looked at the elf sitting in the bench who was looking at him inquisitively. He turned away. So far, he had managed to reason that something had happened to him that had erased some of his memory. Now everyone was expecting all kinds of things from him and it was driving him mad. No doubt this elf was another one.

The elf rose. "I do not believe we have met…"

Erestor had heard that enough times already. Everyone tried to pretend that they didn't know him, but he could tell that they did. "Please just leave me."

"Is something wrong? Maybe I can help. But you'll have to tell me who you are, first."

Erestor turned to face the elf, hurt radiating from his eyes. "You truly do not know who I am?"

"Truly, I have no idea. I am Esgaldur, I arrived only yesterday. So, who are you?"

"I am Erestor."

"Very well, Erestor. What weighs down on your mind so heavily? There must be something that I can do, however small it may be, to alleviate the pain." Esgaldur touched Erestor's shoulder lightly, and was surprised to see Erestor recoil at the touch.

"Please…do not touch me," stammered Erestor. He shook his head. "I apologize for my behavior. I…do not know what has happened to me…I have such a gaping gap in my memory. I fear that I am slow to trust anymore…you see, I detest falsity from any…and those who I assume once knew now pretend that they do not so as not to place a burden on my memory. I cannot stand it."

"Well, I confess that I have never met you nor have I heard of you. Is that what you need to hear? Come, let us walk."

The two set off. "So, where are you from?" asked Erestor, trying to make conversation. He had never been very good at that.

"I have wandered from place to place my entire life. I am hoping to find somewhere to settle down…I would ask you if this is the kind of place where one such as I could be happy…but you have no memory of it." He paused, waiting to see how the other would take this comment.

Erestor laughed. "Yes, you are right. I have no judgment on the matter. What are you doing now that you are here?"

"I am a warrior…do you know how to wield a sword?"

"No. I fear I have no knowledge of swordplay…no, that is not entirely true. I have much knowledge, but 'tis only book knowledge, and I doubt that the two are the same thing." Erestor bit his lip. "Maybe you could teach me what you know, though? It would be good to have a friend here."

"I will teach you, if that is what you would like." Esgaldur was extremely attracted to Erestor, and not only because of his physical beauty. "I could use a friend, too."

"Then let us support each other in our time of need. I am sure that both of us will end up needing each other in the end." Erestor reached out and lightly rested his hand on Esgaldur's shoulder.

_I find myself hoping that your memory does not return. For when it does, you will surely abandon me in favor of those who you have known all your life. _"It would be my pleasure."

* * *

Author's Note: I love reviews. I check my e-mail many times a day for them. Call me obsessed…fine, I am. But please review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	25. Elven Hearts Part 4

Chapter 25

Sorry about the wait

* * *

"No, not like that."

Elladan, who had been eavesdropping on Erestor's arms training, had heard Esgaldur say that about twenty times over the course of five minutes. Elladan had seen Erestor fight, and it was physically painful to think that Erestor had lost those skills that it must have taken centuries to hone. Pushing the door open, he saw Erestor holding a sword clumsily, in a grip that it would take only one solid blow to send it flying from his hands. Esgaldur looked up, saw him, and bowed his head slightly. "Master Elladan."

Elladan didn't know quite what it was with this elf. He had just appeared in Imladris one morning not even a week ago, yet already he was nearly on a first-name basis with his father. Something was up, and Elladan wanted to know what it was. "Esgaldur. Erestor. How is your lesson going?"

Esgaldur forced a false smile. "Erestor is progressing nicely."

Erestor grimaced and said acidly, "There has been no progress. I am learning nothing." Then the look changed on his face to something of hopeless resignation. He handed the sword back to Esgaldur, who took it hesitantly. "There is no point in continuing this."

Knowing that he had to step in, Elladan said, "Erestor, take back your sword. Esgaldur, lend me yours." The two elves did as he said, and then Elladan advanced on Erestor. He hoped that he could pry some kind of memory out of Erestor by doing this. He raised his sword. "Defend yourself, Erestor!"

"I know not what I am doing," said Erestor in a panicky voice. Yet as Elladan swung at Erestor, Erestor managed to deflect the blow. Not well, but still with enough force to send Elladan staggering back a few paces. His grip was still clumsy, but the past few moments had obviously shown more progress than all the preceding hours.

As Elladan resumed his attack, he said, "See, you do know something of swordplay."

Erestor looked thoughtful for a moment as he pushed aside Elladan's next blow with considerably more dexterity. "You knew me before my accident, correct, Master Elladan?"

"Yes, I did." Elladan was hoping to distract Erestor through talking to land at least one solid blow, but Erestor had his defenses prepared. Whatever might be wrong with him now, those old reflexes had not gone.

"Had I any skill with a sword?"

"You were the one of the best I have ever seen."

A sad smile appeared on Erestor's face as he continued to defend himself against Elladan's blows with complete and utter success. "I imagine that there was some need for this, as I have never had much love for battle…was there a war?" Tentatively, he launched an attack that disarmed Elladan in only a few moments.

As Elladan retrieved his sword, he couldn't help but laugh. "Yes, Erestor, there was a war…one of the most terrible ever seen…there was a dark lord, Sauron…taking over Middle Earth…there was an alliance of elves and men to defeat him, and defeat him we did."

Erestor nodded. "Oh."

* * *

Elrond looked up as Elladan walked into his study. It looked like Elladan had been down in the yard; his hair was damp and tousled, there was a light sheen of sweat on his forehead, and, disturbingly, a slight cut down the side of his cheek. "What happened to you, Elladan?" Elladan was better than nearly all of his warriors. Unless Celeborn or Legolas had happened to be around.

"I was instructing Erestor in the finer points of swordplay."

"Ah." Elrond rose to his feet and walked over to his son. Taking one brief glance at the small cut, he decided that it wasn't really worth his time and effort. "It seems to me that Erestor had the upper hand." Only that hardly seemed possible.

"Well, if you corner someone, things they have forgotten tend to come back. I was watching Esgaldur try to teach him, and failing, so I took his sword and made as if to attack Erestor. Trust me, he knows how to defend himself. And then he beat me."

"So do you think that the rest of his memory will return along those lines?"

Elladan shrugged. "You're the healer." Elladan knew, though, that his father would not be satisfied with an answer such as that, and so thought about the question harder. "I don't think so. Most things, you can't just make it a life and death situation. You can't achieve the kind of…shock that forces the memories forwards. Maybe he'll remember the Last Alliance now…I told him about it."

Elrond nodded. "I'll talk to him later." He reconsidered that almost as soon as he said it. Erestor was terrified of him, and there didn't seem to be anything he could do to alleviate the fear. "I'll invite him and Esgaldur to dinner with me. Erestor seems comfortable around Esgaldur."

Elladan couldn't fail to notice the bitterness in his father's voice as he said that last sentence. "Jealous, ada?" he asked lightly.

Elrond frowned. "Leave me, Elladan." He knew that Elladan was right. He _was_ jealous of the friendship that had sprung up between Erestor and Esgaldur. But there was no way that he was going to confess that to his son.

* * *

As Elladan left, he decided something. He had seen the love in his father's eyes in the past, could see it even now. He realized that he would never be able to, either physically or emotionally, destroy the bond between his father and Erestor, and immediately stopped wanting to. That, though, still left him with a task. He had to make sure that Esgaldur knew.

He caught the two of them walking down a path in the gardens, Esgaldur's arm around Erestor's shoulders. The two were talking happily. Eyes narrowing at the sight, Elladan called, "Esgaldur!" When the elf turned to face Elladan, he continued, "Can I have a word with you in private."

Esgaldur nodded, murmured something to Erestor, and then walked over. "What can I do for you, Elladan?"

"I need for you to understand something." Elladan's tone was not harsh, but it was serious and commanding. "Erestor's heart…is not open. Do not try to win it, or you will regret it."

"Are you threatening me, Elladan?"

"No, I am merely trying to protect you. The one who loves him would not be kind to you if you tried to steal his heart away just because his memory has been damaged. Do you understand?"

"Are you the owner of his heart?"

"No. Are we clear, Esgaldur?"

"Yes."

Elladan began to leave, then turned and said, "Oh, my father would like for you and Erestor to dine with him tonight." Regardless of whether that was actually what his father wanted, Elladan knew that it had now become his mission to see that Elrond and Erestor were happy.

* * *

Elrohir paced his room. He had attempted to get out of the house this morning and had been intercepted within five minutes. Whoever was watching him was tireless. This had been his fifth attempt. He had tried every exit at all times of day and night. The longest he had managed to keep from being caught was twenty minutes and that had been on his first attempt. It obviously caught his minder off-guard. He had had no such luck since. And for the first time, his brother had refused to help him. He was all out of options.

"Elrohir?" called a familiar voice. "Are you still here."

Elrohir smiled to himself. _Perhaps not entirely out of options._ "Yes, Legolas. Where else would I be?"

Legolas appeared. "I don't know, trying to escape? As you have been doing for the past two days."

"Well, I don't exactly want to be here."

"And you'd rather be with Belegtur? Honestly, Elrohir, has he poisoned your mind so much that you can't see how evil he truly is? Imladris is not perfect and your father, while wise, is similarly flawed. But that doesn't mean that they have to be destroyed. Not at all. Destroying them would…it would destroy…a whole way of life. Your father wanted a haven where any elf could be welcomed…"

"Yet some elves are second-class and some are not? Did the Valar not make us all the same?"

Legolas closed his eyes. "Elrohir, there are things wrong with this world. But violence, destruction, those are not the right tools. Please, Elrohir, I will help you, work with you, to change things. But don't do this. Not like this." He advanced towards Elrohir, his hand extended. "Don't destroy your life like this."

Legolas's words did ring true with a part of him. Part of him wanted to agree with Legolas and forget Belegtur. But a larger part of him acknowledged a couple of things. First and foremost was the fact that Belegtur was his mate. Second was that what Legolas was saying was what elves like Legolas always said. They talked about change, but nothing ever happened. Elrohir had witnessed that enough times in the past. "I'm sorry, Legolas. I cannot do that."

"Then let me confess something to you. I don't know…don't care if it will change your mind or not. But if you're going to go out there and get yourself killed…like a fool…then I want you to know something." Legolas took a deep breath. "I…well, I'm just going to come out and say it…I'm attracted to you. It took me a while to realize it, but I want you to know it." Without another word, Legolas strode quickly out of the room. Once outside and well away from Elrohir, Legolas sank down to the ground, his head bowed. He didn't know why he had just done that; it had made sense at the time. Now it all seemed like a hideous mistake.

* * *

"Father, Esgaldur and Erestor are coming to dine with you tonight, like you wanted," said Elladan said as a greeting as he walked in again on Elrond, who was trying to work.

Elrond's head shot up and his jaw dropped a little. "What?" he demanded. "Why?"

"You said that you wanted it."

"I also would have liked some time to prepare…"

"What is there to prepare? Hmm? Relax, ada, everything will be fine. I will make sure of it."

Elrond calmed down a little. "If you are in charge of preparations, everything will be a disaster. I will oversee them…"

"You will do nothing of the sort." Elladan knew that his father would thank him for this later. He was going to get Erestor and his father alone together after coming up with some emergency for Esgaldur. Maybe if they were alone, his father could help Erestor regain his memory, whatever it took.

Elrond suspected that he knew what was running through his son's mind. "I don't want to intimidate Erestor," he said. "I will not be left alone with him at any point. Is that understood, Elladan? I will have no contriving of 'accidents'." Seeing Elladan's guilty face, he added, "I was young once, too."

Elladan frowned as he left the room. He was going to need some help, now that his father knew his plans.

* * *

"Erestor must have been insane," declared Legolas, sitting back in the chair, gesturing at the mound of paper in front of him. "No elf could handle this much work and remain sane."

"It takes a different kind of elf than most to be able to do it," corrected Celeborn. "Erestor was a very rare kind of elf…"

Legolas smirked. "You've slept with him, haven't you? Everyone that sleeps with him has that kind of opinion of him."

"That is none of your business." Nonetheless, Celeborn turned to Legolas and eyed him up and down with a very predatory look in his eye. "Have you?" he demanded in the tone of someone sizing up the competition.

"No. Not my type."

"Well, you seem like his type. And he's never really cared whether his partners want him or not."

"I can't believe we're having this discussion."

"What discussion?" asked Elladan from the doorway. The mischievous smile playing across his face told both of the older elves that Elladan had heard every word of their conversation. He shook his head when he realized that they weren't going to play along and said what he had actually come here to say. "I need your help."

"In what, Elladan?" asked Celeborn. He knew that Elrond's eldest only asked for help when all other avenues were closed to him. Elladan had to be desperate.

"I need to get my father and Erestor alone together when they eat dinner tonight in my father's rooms. Esgaldur is going as well, but he already guessed about my plan to call Esgaldur away. You have to help me!"

"Your father has a point," said Legolas, "if he doesn't want to be alone with Erestor right now. Erestor is terrified of Elrond. Leaving them alone together will probably make things worse, not better. I will not be a party to this."

"Nor will I," said Celeborn. "Let things run their course, Elladan. All will resolve itself with time."

Elladan threw up his hands in frustration. "How can you two not help me? All I want is to see my father happy!"

"Aye, that is on our minds, too," said Celeborn. "But that by no means has to involve pointless plans to get them together. The Valar will see it all through in the end."

Elladan stormed out of the room.

* * *

Elrond sat wearily at Tingil's side. Today, maybe, he would get a name out of this Man, so he actually had something to call him. As ever, he placed his hands on the Man's temples and sank into the Man's mind. There was, as ever, more evidence that memories were reappearing, as if by magic, in this Man's mind. Convinced that everything was proceeding as well as could be expected, Elrond retreated from the Man's mind. "What do you remember today?" he asked, another ritual. No formal medicine could help this Man, so Elrond was forced to just talk to him and try to help him that way.

The Man thought. "I remember…a battle…there were so many people there, men and elves both. I don't remember much of it…only that it was of great importance."

"And you were there…at this battle?" asked Elrond.

"Yes," replied the Man.

Elrond frowned before rising to his feet. "That is very interesting. I shall have to think about that. Is there anything else you remember this morning?"

The Man nodded. "It is another memory about the woods…the place you say that I may live…though that seems unlikely…there are elves there…I remember…one she-elf…so beautiful, radiant with light and…power…she is their leader…"

"Galadriel?" demanded Elrond.

"Aye, that is her name."

"Very well," said Elrond. He managed to retain his composure long enough to get inside his study and close the door. This was insane. The Man either had to be lying or…Elrond didn't know what else. The whole situation was just impossible. There was no way any living Man could have been with the Last Alliance, and that was, to Elrond's recollection, the last time that elves and Men had fought together in any considerably numbers. And how on earth would this Man have met Galadriel? Something here didn't add up. It was right on the tip of Elrond's tongue, the clue to this Man's past, but for the life of him, Elrond could not figure out what it was.

The door opened and Celeborn walked in. He saw Elrond's distressed face, closed the door behind him, and walked over to Elrond. Drawing the slightly shorter (though not by much) elf into his arms, he asked, "What's wrong this time?"

"The Man…he knows things that no Man should know…he has memories that no Man should have. I am at a loss…because well…something about him just isn't right."

"You have more than enough things to worry about right now than dealing with this Man," said Celeborn firmly. "Leave him for a few days, he is in no danger of dying. You need some peace of mind before you can be an effective healer. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, ada," said Elrond, only half-joking. "So, why did you come here?"

"To make sure that you weren't working yourself too hard."

Now Elrond became slightly annoyed. "So I am not allowed to work anymore? Celeborn, I have been the Lord of Imladris for many millennia. I think that I am able to run Imladris without your help. Even after I believed that Erestor had been killed, I was able to run Imladris…"

"You had Glorfindel, then. Who do you have now?"

Elrond had to admit that Celeborn did have a point there. "Okay, in that I concede you are right. But I still do not need someone to mother me."

"On the contrary. You either need a lover or a mother. As you are deeply in love with Erestor, I suspect that it is a mother that you need. Though I am lacking in most maternal respects, I can at least offer you comfort and friendship."

"I didn't know I had a choice."

"You don't." Celeborn stepped away from Elrond and looked at him. "You're not eating, are you? I haven't seen you at any meal in at least a week. I can't help you if you don't at least make the attempt to help yourself. I know that if I didn't come to your rooms every night, you wouldn't sleep."

"What do you want me to say, Celeborn? That I'm fine? Well, I'm not. And you know that. I'm sorry that my life is so terrible right now but I'm not asking you to fix it for me! I can fix my own life." A short pause. "And don't bother coming to my rooms tonight. Or any other night…in fact, I don't want you here in Imladris any longer."

Celeborn didn't like to anger Elrond and did it as infrequently as possible. Now he saw that the best, the only, course of action was to retreat. "Very well, Elrond. I will leave Imladris tonight."

* * *

"Why does he want to see me?" asked Erestor. "I don't even know him! He…scares me, Esgaldur. Especially…the first time I remember him coming to see me…he treated me like…well, like a lover…and…I'm scared that I might be his lover…only I don't remember anything…Esgaldur…what am I going to do?"

"I'll be right with you, Erestor. I will not leave you alone with him. It is just a meal, after all. There is no need to get this worried." Esgaldur put a hand on Erestor's shoulder, and looked into the melancholy chocolate eyes. "I will be there with you, okay."

"Doesn't change the fact that he scares me." Erestor licked his lips. "But, you know, Esgaldur…and I hope you don't think me too forward for saying this…but I like you more than I like Lord Elrond."

"That is because you know more of me than of Lord Elrond." Esgaldur sighed, knowing that he could not let his true feelings show. "But you are coming, whether you wish to or not. If I have to tie you up and drag you, I will do so."

Erestor raised an eyebrow. "I don't think you could."

Esgaldur smiled playfully. "Would you like to find out?"

"You'd better not even try it."

Esgaldur advanced on Erestor. "You'd better run, then. Because if I can get my hands on you, I fear that that is what will happen."

So that was why Erestor and Esgaldur were racing through the hallways.

And that was why Erestor slammed into Elrond as he was leaving his study without Erestor ever seeing him. Both elves were knocked off their feet.

Elrond was already in a bad mood and opened his mouth to let the full force of his temper be unleashed upon this hapless soul. Then he saw that it was Erestor.

When Erestor saw who exactly he had just run into, he retreated back to his feet, a mumbled apology coming to his lips, all the while retreating further and further away, hoping in vain that he could just disappear.

He had made it about five feet before Elrond found his voice. "Erestor, I…"

"I am sorry, my lord," said Erestor, a pink blush staining his cheeks.

Elrond didn't think he had ever seen Erestor blush before. It looked charming. "There is no need to apologize, Erestor." Though he was curious as to why Erestor had been running through the halls like an Elfling. _Though most of his memories, of course, are of when he was an Elfling. That might explain away some of his more childish actions._ "You are coming to my room tonight to dine with me, correct?"

"Yes, my lord," said Erestor, his gaze firm on the floor. He hadn't known that it was possible to feel this embarrassed.

Elrond stood up and smiled at Erestor, who, if possible, looked even more frightened by that action. Knowing that it was probably the wrongest thing that he could do, he closed the distance between them, put his hand on Erestor's shoulder, and said, "We should probably talk before then, though."

Erestor skirted out of Elrond's reach more out of instinct than any desire to get away. "Why, my lord?"

"Well, you are my patient, and I am supposed to be making sure that you are getting better. Come, let's go into my office. It won't take more than five minutes. I promise." Seeing the fearful expression on Erestor's face, Elrond took a few steps back towards the study door, holding out his hand. As he opened the door, Erestor finally began to follow him.

Erestor closed the door behind him, swallowing hard. He didn't know what it was about Elrond that scared him so much. All he knew was that whenever he was around Elrond, his heart began to beat faster and his mind grew blank. "What do you want me to do, my lord?"

"Just sit down," said Elrond, gesturing at a chair. After Erestor timidly did so, Elrond continued. "I need to go into your mind again, so I can see what progress you have made towards remembering your past. My son told me that he mentioned the Last Alliance to you. Is there anything you remember from that time?"

Erestor searched his mind. "There is nothing, my lord. I am sorry."

"There is no need to apologize." Elrond walked close to Erestor and put his hands lightly on Erestor's temples. As he sank into Erestor's mind, he considered that Erestor's mind was the one that he wanted to be in the most, but seemed to be fighting the hardest to keep him out. The barrier that Erestor had set up nearly threw Elrond out, but he kept his metaphorical grip and began his investigation.

Erestor saw Elrond's eyes go blank, as if he were sleeping. Now he didn't look so dangerous. Indeed, Erestor could now see the hollowness of Elrond's cheeks, indicating the fact that he no longer ate, and the shadows under his eyes, indicating the poor quality of his sleep. Smiling, he tentatively lifted one hand and ran it across Elrond's smooth cheek. Biting his lip, he raised his hand a little higher and pushed some strands of hair out of Elrond's face and behind his ear.

Back in Erestor's mind, Elrond could see that there was little to no progress. That upset him. While the Man seemed to be making huge strides towards recovery, Erestor showed none. Annoyed, he released his link to Erestor's mind. As he came back to awareness, he realized that someone was stroking his cheek. Then it clicked that it was Erestor that was touching him lightly and so affectionately.

Erestor yanked his hand back once he realized that Elrond was aware again. "I am sorry, my lord," he apologized, beginning to rise to his feet.

Elrond was sick to the depth of his soul of this. He pushed Erestor back down. "There is no need to apologize, Erestor. Nor is there any need to call me 'my lord'."

Erestor looked confused. "Why?"

Elrond wished that he could just keep Erestor here and tell him his whole life story. The only problem was that Elrond knew far too little of it, and even of the time that Erestor had spent in Imladris, there were many of Erestor's actions that made little or no sense to him. As it was, he would only make Erestor's life worse, by giving him memories that were wrong or partially incomplete. "I would like it if we were to dine tonight alone…without Esgaldur."

"Whatever you desire, my lord." Erestor bowed his head.

Elrond hated this servile Erestor. He wanted the witty, obnoxious, in-your-face advisor that he had known for so long. Only that Erestor was a product of all the misery and pain that he had endured through his long life. This Erestor had known none of that. "Very well," said Elrond. He wasn't used to being the decision-making one, at least when it came to their relationship. Erestor usually set the rules. "So tell Esgaldur that his presence is not needed."

Erestor again attempted to rise to his feet. This time, Elrond allowed him to do so. "I will see you later then, my lord." It was all that he could do to make sure those words came out in a controlled manner and that he did not flee from the room but walked out with dignity.

Elrond stared at the door after Erestor had gone and wondered if he had done the right thing.

* * *

Author's note: and don't think things are going to get better anytime soon... 


	26. Elven Hearts Part 4

Chapter 26

This chapter and the one before it have not been beta-read and therefore all mistakes are mine.

* * *

"Celeborn, don't act like a child. Don't stoop to Elrond's level," said Legolas, watching Celeborn shove things into bags with unnecessary force. Legolas could see the anger on Celeborn's face and wasn't sure what to say (and what not to say) to calm down a very powerful elf.

"Elrond told me he wanted me to go, so go I will. Just because I was trying to help, but never mind that. I do not have to stay here."

"Now you're not even making sense. Come with me, we will go to talk to Elrond. We will make him see sense."

"He is right, you know. He is the Lord of Imladris. We are not. Why should we be ruling in his stead?"

"Because he's not capable right now. Now, come on." Legolas grabbed Celeborn's upper arm and half-dragged him from the room. After a while, Celeborn became more cooperative, which pleased Legolas a good deal, as Celeborn was a rather large dead weight to pull along behind him.

They found Elrond sitting in his chair, staring blankly at the wall, a too-fixed smile on his face. Legolas instinctively visually searched the room for alcohol. It looked like Elrond was drunk. But he saw no alcohol. Elrond did not even make any attempt to look at the two of them, nor did he really respond when either said anything to him.

Celeborn groaned and walked over to Elrond. Elrond did not react when Celeborn lay a hand upon his forehead. It was as if Elrond wasn't even really alert.

"What's wrong?" asked Legolas in a hushed voice.

Celeborn frowned and thought for a second before making his diagnosis. "Nervous breakdown." He grimaced. "I wonder what finally sent him over the edge."

Legolas was surprised at Celeborn's calm tone. "So what are we supposed to do about it?"

Celeborn thought some more. "Well, we can't let many people know about it, that's for sure. Elrond is famous for being unbreakable. To know that he finally broke would destroy his reputation for millennia. Imladris has many talented healers, and I am something of a healer myself. We will pull Elrond through this."

"I take it that this means you're staying."

"I don't think I have a choice anymore."

* * *

"Erestor, could you come quickly," said Esgaldur, grabbing the other's arm. "Elladan told me to fetch you. It sounded urgent."

A panicked expression appeared on Erestor's face. "What is wrong?"

"I do not know. But please hurry."

Erestor put down the book he had been reading and followed Esgaldur out of his room. He was led to a part of Imladris that he had not visited since his accident. It was the guest quarters. Esgaldur opened a door, stuck his head in, and announced, "He's here." Esgaldur then turned to Erestor. "I will see you later, mellon-nin."

"You are not staying?" asked Erestor, a frightened look appearing on his face.

"No. Don't be afraid, Erestor. Everyone in there knew you before and they all hold you in the highest respect." Esgaldur shoved Erestor into the room and closed the door before the frightened elf could retreat.

Erestor looked around the room and his eyes grew big. There were three very important elves in here; Prince Legolas, Lord Celeborn, and Master Elladan. Licking his lips, Erestor said, "Why have I been called here?" He feared that it was something to do with Elrond, but he didn't know what.

It was Legolas that spoke. "Elrond has had an…accident. He can no longer deal with his responsibilities. We need your help, as much as you are able to give us."

"I am confused…I am no more than a scribe."

Celeborn laughed harshly. "No, Erestor, you are Lord Elrond's Chief Advisor, a fearsome warrior and a cunning, skilled diplomat. You have respect in every Elven realm. Elrond did not want you to be told this, for he believed that it would be easier for you to recover your memories on your own. Only that's not an option anymore. There are some things that you're going to have to remember. We need someone like you to help us."

"So…the three of you are going to run Imladris?"

"The four of us," said Elladan. "If you are willing to help us. And we would sincerely like your help, Erestor. We will give you as much help as you like."

Erestor couldn't see that there was any way he could say no. So he grimaced and said, "It doesn't appear that I really have a choice. So, tell me what I must do and I will do my best to see the task completed."

Celeborn hated the formality laced in Erestor's tone. Erestor did not consider himself an equal in this room, and that was something that Celeborn missed. Erestor had a very commanding personality when he wanted to, but right now he was subservient. That was not an Erestor that Celeborn was used to. "We'll set you up back in your old office. Legolas and I will stay with you the rest of the day to make sure you've got your feet, and then we'll leave you be."

All three smiled to see the spark kindle in Erestor's eye at the challenge. And Erestor had always loved challenges. He grinned cockily, the way all three were used to, and said, "It will be my pleasure."

* * *

Elrohir knew that something was wrong. It annoyed him that no one was willing to take the time to tell him. Elladan appeared to be right in the thick of it. He was Elladan's twin, he had every bit the same right as Elladan to know. So when he next saw Celeborn, he stopped him in the hall. Celeborn looked harassed and tired. "What do you want, Elrohir?" he asked tiredly.

"What's going on? I know that something's wrong…why won't you just tell me what it is?"

"Maybe later," said Celeborn distractedly. Elladan was enough of a menace already, but at least one of Elrond's sons had to be brought into this, or it would seem like other realms were taking control of Imladris. But Celeborn really had no desire to deal with both twins right now.

"No. Right now," said Elrohir firmly. "Elladan knows, and I can't stand not to. Just because I didn't fight with you…"

"No," snapped Celeborn, allowing his mood to get the better of him. "You turned to the enemy. You are bonded to the resistance leader. Why should I tell you a word, when I fear that it is going directly to the enemy?" Celeborn knew that Elrond hadn't believed that Elrohir was firmly in the enemy's camp, but Elrond was, at times, hopelessly naïve. Celeborn knew better.

Elrohir turned from Celeborn. Heading off down the hall, he turned back only to hiss, "You will pay for all of this."

Celeborn shook his head. It was terrible to see one as good as Elrohir turn to such evil as he clearly had. But he didn't have the time to dwell upon that. There was too much, far too much, that needed to be done. First, he went to visit Elrond, who had been taken to his rooms. He had not descended into babbling idiocy, which Celeborn didn't think that he would have been able to take.

Elrond just stared blankly ahead of him. He ate when forced to, but made no voluntary movements of any kind. But Celeborn made some attempt at normalcy and talked to Elrond as though he was fully alert and aware. "Erestor is back at work today. I know not how well he will do without the experience and judgment of millennia, but Legolas and I will be there to help him. He is terribly worried about you, Elrond. I believe that he still cares for you, and if those feelings are not of love, it is only because he does not really know what love is." Celeborn glanced at Elrond, who showed no sign of hearing Celeborn at all. Biting back a sigh of frustration, Celeborn continued. "Elladan is doing admirably. He is so very much like you, Elrond. We are all worried about you." Celeborn walked over to Elrond and laid a hand on Elrond's shoulder. He might as well have been not touching him, it made no impression whatsoever on Elrond.

Celeborn walked out of the room a few minutes later. With Elrond like this, it was far too much for him to take, and he didn't want to have to try to deal with it. The next thing on his mental to-do list was to visit Tingil, who no longer responded to that name. Celeborn could not even do as much as Elrond could, for his skill for entering others' minds was dodgy at best. So after checking to make sure that the Man was alive and reasonably well, he headed off for what he really wanted to do. And that was to see Erestor. He had to know how Erestor was doing.

He opened the door and found Erestor hunched over the desk, frowning in concentration, his left hand drumming idly on his knee and his right playing idly with a quill. In front of him was a stack of parchments. He did not look up as Celeborn entered, but Legolas did. Quietly, not wanting to disturb Erestor, he walked over to Legolas. In a low voice, he asked, "How is he doing?"

Legolas made a so-so gesture with his hand. "I've seen worse. He has…he has all the characteristics needed to do the job, but he lacks the experience of millennia. In other words, every problem to him seems new. With the old Erestor, he would have recognized the problem as something that had occurred centuries ago and would know how to deal with it. Everything's going to take a little later. Erestor's looking through correspondence with Lorien."

"I could help him…"

Legolas grinned. "No, you don't. I refuse to allow you to take advantage of Elrond's incapacities and Erestor's inexperience." The grin broadened and he added, "Unless you allow me to do the same for Mirkwood."

Celeborn smiled briefly. "No, we will not plunder Imladris. We both owe Imladris and Elrond too much to do that." He glanced up at Erestor. Like this, it was easy to pretend that nothing was wrong and that Erestor was the same elf that Celeborn had always known. An odd smile crossed his face as he remembered that that wasn't entirely true. He had once before met Erestor like this, millennia ago, when Erestor was but an Elfling.

_Celeborn smiled at the delegation of scholars. Many of them were old, familiar faces, but there were, here and there, a sprinkling of youthful exuberance that made Celeborn giddy. He sent them all of to their rooms along with their possessions. The meetings would begin tomorrow. The issue at hand was the fact that some documents had been damaged in a recent fire and Celeborn needed many scholars to try and piece as much back together as possible._

_Celeborn frowned as he saw one of the last elves to leave. Quite tall but very slender and with flowing dark hair, the elf could not possibly have reached his majority yet. He walked up to the elf. As he drew closer, the Elfling in question turned his head to look up at Celeborn. For a few seconds, Celeborn was lost in those deep brown eyes. Then he shook himself. It was all well and good that he had the occasional fling with a male, but this elf was still a child. "Have you reached your majority yet?"_

_The elf smiled and licked his lips. "Last week, my lord. That is why I was permitted to accompany these other elves."_

_Celeborn already hated the formality in this elf's voice, even though he knew that it was right and proper. "What is your name?"_

"_Erestor, my lord." Erestor smiled shyly._

_It was the most endearing look Celeborn had ever seen. Something about the elf looked so fragile and helpless that Celeborn wanted to sweep the elf into his arms. _

_Suddenly, another elf walked in. They had been the only two in the room, so the other's presence was immediately felt. Celeborn turned to look at the intruder. It was a blond warrior. He looked vaguely familiar. After a bit of thought, Celeborn was fairly sure that it was Glorfindel, son of the Lord of Gondolin. But what was he doing here with a delegation of scholars? "Mae govannen, Glorfindel," he said._

_Glorfindel smiled and walked over to Celeborn, clasping hands briefly with him. Then he turned to Erestor. "Are you ready to go, meleth?"_

"_Aye." Erestor looked at Celeborn. "If I have your permission to go, my lord?"_

"_You need no permission of mine," said Celeborn. It hurt, though, in a way he could not quite define, to see the two go off hand in hand. Erestor seemed so pure and innocent, and if even half of the stories about Glorfindel were to be believed, then no such claim could be made upon Glorfindel._

_Erestor proved to be easily the most useful of the scholars, though he did not talk much. He got the work done and let others take credit for it. He did not speak to Celeborn again for many centuries. But their first meeting had left an inerasable impression on Celeborn._

"How goes your work, Erestor?" asked Celeborn.

Erestor looked up at him and flashed that same shy smile. Celeborn's heart melted. "You say that I have done this before, but I have no memory of it. Still…with time, I feel that I will be able to get this done. I will get this done, no matter the cost."

"I will not allow you to work yourself into exhaustion," said Celeborn firmly. And he meant it. The last thing he needed was to have two broken elves as opposed to one completely broken one and one half-broken. "You will work only until the evening meal," he commanded. "And then you will seek out Esgaldur and spend some time with him. He will help you to get your mind off of things."

Nervously, Erestor asked, "Would I be permitted to see Lord Elrond?"

"I'm not sure that's a good idea right now, Erestor. Perhaps once he has improved a little. Until then, just stay with Esgaldur. He is a good elf." Celeborn had no idea upon what he based that. He, along with the rest of Imladris, barely knew the elf. But he, also along with those who led Imladris, trusted him almost unconditionally already. The danger in Erestor spending too much time with Esgaldur was, obviously, that they would be attracted to each other and that Esgaldur would attempt to seduce Erestor.

Erestor nodded. "Very well, my lord." And he went back to reading.

Celeborn exchanged a look with Legolas. Even though it was not the old Erestor, this one was coming closer and closer with every passing day.

* * *

Belegtur managed to sneak back in. He hadn't seen Elrohir in days and it was driving him crazy. Once inside, it took him very little time to find Elrohir's rooms. Evading the guards that were posted outside took a little more work, but reasonably soon, he was walking into Elrohir's bedroom, marveling at its elegance. Elrohir lay in the center of the bed, fast asleep. Belegtur took a moment to admire Elrohir's sleeping form, then sat down on the bed beside him and shook him slightly.

Elrohir mumbled something unintelligible. Yawning, he opened his eyes, and a smile curled onto his face when he saw Belegtur. In a smooth, easy motion, he pulled Belegtur on top of him, kissing him fiercely.

Belegtur pinned Elrohir's hands above his head. "I like your room, El. So very much like I picture it would be." With his other hand, he caressed the younger elf's chest, making him shiver and moan in need. "I want to fuck you in here." He released Elrohir's hands and began kissing Elrohir's neck, his hands working to free them from their clothes.

"Belegtur, we'll get caught…we can't…"

Belegtur paused long enough to look up at Elrohir and say, "What happens, happens," before resuming his previous activities. He finally pulled off Elrohir's leggings and teasingly rubbed Elrohir's erection before sitting up and undressing. Elrohir proved more than willing to help. Then he fell back on top of Elrohir, spreading his legs and entering Elrohir roughly without any preparation.

Elrohir choked back a scream at the nauseating pain. Slowly, the pain dimmed to be replaced by pleasure of a kind he had never experienced before. Belegtur was the only lover he had ever had who made him feel so complete. Belegtur collapsed down on Elrohir, covering his shoulder and neck with light kisses. Elrohir traced idle patterns across Belegtur's back, glad that they had fucked again. It was such a release. For a few precious minutes, everything that was bad in his life disappeared. None of it seemed to matter anymore, and that made these times he spent with Belegtur so special. "I wish that you could stay here," he murmured.

Belegtur rolled off of Elrohir and looked him in the eye. "I'd hate it here and you know it." Placing one hand on the back of Elrohir's neck, he drew the elf in closer for another kiss. The kiss lasted as long as it could, before both needed air. Belegtur rolled Elrohir on top of him, gently kissing and caressing him. "But it was nice to do it once here."

Elrohir curled up on top of Belegtur, sleepy and satiated. He was just beginning to drop off when he heard the door opening. He sat up in horror and looked at Belegtur. Belegtur smiled lazily at him, pushed Elrohir off of him, reached down to his clothes, and pulled out a small dagger. Not bothering to dress, he rolled off the bed and walked quietly to the bedroom door. As soon as the figure walked in, Belegtur pounced, driving the dagger into the elf's back, burying it all the way to the hilt. The elf fought for a few seconds and then sank silently to the ground. Belegtur pulled the dagger out and wiped it on the elf's shirt. A pool of blood began to form under the elf's body.

Elrohir rose from the bed and walked over to Belegtur. When he recognized the dying elf at his feet, he gasped. "It's Celeborn!"

More footsteps were coming. Belegtur bit his lip, looked down at Celeborn, then at Elrohir. Walking back over to the bed, he threw his clothes on. Then he went to the window, opened it, and was gone just as the guards entered the room. Elrohir closed his eyes. He knew how pointless it would be to plead innocence.

Several of the elves gathered Celeborn in their arms and hurried out. The rest took Elrohir out of his room and into one of the cells that Elrond kept for prisoners awaiting sentencing.

* * *

Elrohir sat silently in the cold cell. He didn't know if Belegtur would make any attempt to get him out, though he would love for Belegtur to show him that kind of love. Somehow, though, he doubted that he would be seeing Belegtur anytime soon. Part of him regretted that, but another part of him began to question all he had done and thought over the past few weeks. He saw how Belegtur had used his fear to manipulate him and how easily he had given in to everything that Belegtur had said. He saw how Belegtur had taken what he had most feared and constantly put it there in his face to send him fleeing into Belegtur's arms. Elrohir began to hate Belegtur.

_But Belegtur is my bonded mate. I cannot just decide that I no longer wish to be with him. Even though the bond was against my will, I cannot break it. I wish now that I could. But I believe him when he said that if he dies, he will drag me with him. Ada confirmed it. So what do I now?_

Elrohir paced the cell for a while, but then gave up, as it got him nowhere. So he sat curled up in a corner, waiting for someone to come see him. He really didn't care at this point who it was. All he desired was someone to whom he could confess all of this to, someone who would at least listen to him.

In the loneliness of his own mind, Elrohir feared that he would go insane.

* * *

Elladan burst into the room, wide-eyed. "By the gods, Legolas, come quickly! There's been a terrible…I don't know what to call it…please just come…"

Legolas raised an eyebrow at the elf's ramblings. "Calm down, Elladan, and tell me what's wrong." His glance darted over to Erestor, who was watching them carefully. "Is this something that Erestor need know about it?"

Elladan considered that. Finally, he figured that Erestor, if he was going to be given any power at all, at least had to be kept up to date. "Yes…my idiot brother…I don't know why…he stabbed Celeborn…he's dying…"

"Do the healers have him?" demanded Legolas, rising to his feet.

Elladan nodded. "Yes, they are doing all they can." Elladan didn't like to think what would happen if Celeborn died. As the acting ruler of Imladris, it would fall to him to inform Lorien. He was not looking forward to that confrontation. He could already imagine Galadriel's expression. "Damn Elrohir, why can't he just get his head straight. Celeborn is our grandfather!"

"Let us go visit with him, then," said Legolas. "Perhaps there is something we can do."

"No," said Erestor softly. The other two looked at him as though he were mad. Smiling softly to assuage his own fears about confronting these two, he continued. "If the healers are doing all they can, there is little that we will be able to offer. Indeed, we will more than likely just get in their way. Let them do their work, and afterwards, we can visit with him. I do not believe that any of us wish to put Lord Celeborn in any more danger than he is already in."

Elladan frowned. Erestor was right, but he didn't want to admit it. Sharing a look with Legolas, it was clear that Legolas felt the same way. "Very well," he conceded. "We will see him later." Forcing himself to calm down a little, he asked, "Has anyone checked in on my father recently?" Elladan wasn't sure how much he was willing to trust his father now, what with his altered mental state.

"No," said Legolas. "Let's go to see him now." As Erestor began to rise, Legolas added, "Erestor, you stay here."

Erestor frowned. "I am no child, Legolas. You cannot order me around." He swallowed hard; had he crossed lines he should not have crossed with those words?

"Perhaps not," said Elladan. "But I can. And I'm telling you to stay here, Erestor. Now come on, Legolas."

Erestor sat down, but it was clear to both Legolas and Elladan that he was immensely displeased. Once the other two had left the room, Erestor also got up and left. Though he knew that he didn't stand a chance of getting in to see Elrond while they were there, he could be waiting for them to leave and then sneak in.

He wasn't quite sure why he so desperately wanted to see Elrond. To be completely honest, Elrond terrified him. But there was a sense he had of a deeper connection between the two of them, though he couldn't have named it if his life depended on him. It had something to do with the way that Elrond had addressed him in the library, as he was nothing short of Elrond's lover. Erestor had been trying to dredge up memories from before that day in library, but couldn't. He wondered what terrible accident had befallen him, but there was no one to ask now who knew.

"What are you doing, Erestor, sneaking around like that?" asked a playful voice from behind him.

Erestor grinned as he turned to face Esgaldur. "I am hardly sneaking. I am merely taking a break and walking around."

Esgaldur looked highly unconvinced. "I heard a commotion earlier. Has something else befallen Imladris?"

Erestor's face took on a tight, closed expression. "I…I'm not so sure…I don't think that I should tell you." He immediately saw the look of hurt on Esgaldur's face and wished that he could do something about it. But there were some things that Esgaldur simply did not need to know, and Erestor felt that this was one of them.

"Oh, so you're so high and mighty now?" asked Esgaldur, for a brief moment losing control of his temper. "Do you know what you are, Erestor? Hmm?"

Erestor frowned, then brightened a little. "I am Lord Elrond's Chief Advisor," he answered confidently.

Esgaldur sneered. "Do you know what else you are?"

Now Erestor was confused. And a little frightened. Esgaldur seemed so menacing right now and Erestor just wanted to walk away. But he forced himself not to and so asked, "No, what else am I?"

"The easiest fuck in Imladris." Smiling hatefully at the expression on Erestor's face, Esgaldur walked away from the stunned elf.

* * *

Author's Note: Would you all be glad to hear that I've finally planned out the rest of this? There are going to be 10 more chapters. Aren't you proud of me? 


	27. Elven Hearts Part 4

Chapter 27

* * *

Celeborn opened bleary eyes and saw Legolas and Elladan above him. "What happened?" he managed to ask.

"You were stabbed by Elrohir."

"Elrohir stabbed me?" A pause. "No. It wasn't him."

Legolas looked immediately concerned. "What are you talking about, Celeborn? Did you see the elf…"

"No, but he was bigger than me, and Elrohir is not. I remember that much…how much longer will I be in bed? I want to get up and…do something…I hate being like this…helpless."

"You're staying there for at least a couple of days," said Elladan in a very paternal fashion. "We don't need yet another person completely incapacitated. I mean, we've already got my father and Erestor…and Elrohir, I suppose, if you can count him."

"How is Elrond?" asked Celeborn. More than anything, he felt kind of an affectionate love for the younger elf. He wanted to see Elrond happy, no matter who it was with. "Is he any better?"

Elladan shook his head. "No, we just came from there. There's no change…do you have any idea how to bring him back?"

Celeborn could see the strain on Elladan's face. He was too young to have to deal with all this stress. Everything he had known had collapsed around him. Elladan was definitely the next one in danger of breaking down. "I don't know how to bring him back, but I know that you need to stop trying to hold Imladris up all by yourself. We're here to help you, but if you don't let us help you, you're going to end up just like your father."

Elladan knew that Celeborn was right, but didn't want to admit it. "Can I at least talk to my brother?"

"Yes, I think that would be a good idea. But after that…go to the practice yard…or something. I don't want you working for a while. Maybe spend some time with Esgaldur."

Elladan nodded. "Okay, Celeborn. I hope that you recover quickly." He held Celeborn's hand for an instant and then departed.

Legolas dropped down on the bed beside Celeborn. "What are we going to do? Imladris is such a mess…by the gods, I'm not sure that anything can be done."

Celeborn smiled at that statement. "We'll figure it out. We always do. Things will never be the same, but we'll fix it somehow. Just have a little faith."

"I tried that. It didn't work very well."

"Then…just forget about the problems here and keep working as if this was the way things had always been."

"If things had always been like this, Imladris would not have lasted a day." A short pause. "But thanks for trying. I'll leave you to your rest. As you've dumped all the work on my shoulders I probably won't be back very often."

"You do have Erestor, remember."

"I know. I'm glad that we have him, in any capacity."

Celeborn nodded. "I'd like to see him, when you can spare him. I'd like to talk to him for a while."

Legolas nodded. "Very well. The moment I can spare him."

* * *

Erestor opened the door quietly, wary of any who might already be inside. There was no noise from within, so he stepped in and closed the door behind him. He saw Elrond sitting sprawled on the chair, eyes staring into nothingness. There was no way that Elrond could be thought of as intimidating right now, so Erestor did not fear to approach him. He sat on the chair next to Elrond and took Elrond's pale, cool hand in his.

"My lord…Elrond…I don't know if you can hear me or not, but there's something that we need to talk about. I don't know what there was between us before my accident…whatever it was. But I do know that I…I have these feelings for you. I can't describe them. I don't know if I love you…I don't remember enough to know that. All I know is that when you get better you will have my unconditional friendship. I don't know how you feel about me, but I think that you feel something at least. Maybe you're the answer to everything. When I'm around you, I feel less confused…I feel more whole. Maybe you're what I've been looking for…maybe this is why what happened to me did. I don't know, I really don't. The only thing I know is that there's something about you that makes me warm inside." Erestor blinked back the tears in his eyes and looked at Elrond. An insane part of him had been hoping that Elrond would just bounce back, but there was no sign of anything. "I just want you back, Elrond." He leaned over and kissed Elrond on the cheek. "I'll be back later."

Erestor rose from the chair and walked to the door. He cast one glance back at Elrond before he left the room. Making his way down the hall, he passed Legolas, who had a concerned expression on his face. When he saw Erestor, though, his face lit up. "There you are." Looking around, he frowned. "Did you go to see Elrond?"

"Yes," said Erestor defiantly, daring Legolas to be angry with him. "I wanted to go see him."

Legolas nodded thoughtfully. "Celeborn said he wanted to see you. Go to him, and then we need to get some work done."

Erestor nodded, then walked past Legolas to the healing ward. Celeborn was waiting for him, a slight smile on his face. "Good afternoon, Erestor."

"What do you want to talk with me about?"

"Imladris. Sit down."

Erestor sat down in a chair as far away as he could. No matter how kind Celeborn was to him, Erestor felt a kind of deep-seated fear towards him. "What about Imladris?"

"It might be a long time before Elrond is fit to rule Imladris, it might be only a couple of days. We have no way of knowing. That's why we need to figure out how to bring you back."

"I don't know how. Trust me, if there was some way I could be back to however I was before, I'd take it without a second thought."

"See, I'm not sure you'd want that life back if you knew just what it was like."

"I don't understand."

"No, I wouldn't expect you to. I'll put this gently…you were a skilled advisor, cunning warrior, brilliant scholar and all the rest, but you…you'd sleep with anyone. You didn't laugh much, you didn't smile much. No one really knows why you are the way you are. The only one who might have known was Glorfindel, and he died a while ago. You have everyone's respect…but you also have their pity. There are so many people that would give their lives to help you, but you didn't let them. There was no one who could really call you a friend, not even Elrond. You had secrets, you didn't let anyone close." Celeborn looked up at Erestor, searching his face for a reaction.

"I think…I think I might be starting to remember Glorfindel…I'm not sure…Celeborn, I don't care how terrible you say my life was. Anything would be better than this half-life."

"You're happy now, I can see it in your eyes. I never saw you happy since you were an Elfling. Your eyes are sparkling, they didn't before."

Erestor shook his head. "No, I don't want to go back to the person you claim I was. But I don't want to be this, either. Isn't there some middle ground?"

"I doubt it." Celeborn saw a slight shadow of misery cross Erestor's face and hated himself for putting it there. "Come here." He watched as Erestor slowly got up and walked over. Celeborn patted the space on the bed beside and Erestor hesitantly sat down. "Look, all of us here care about you…"

"How many of you have I slept with?"

"How many of whom?"

"Of the four of you? All of you?"

"No." Celeborn debated telling Erestor a lie, but decided against it. "Only myself and Elladan. No one knows if you and Elrond have, but we doubt it." He once again paused to gauge Erestor's reaction. It appeared to be numb bewilderment. "All of us are here to support you…maybe we'll be able to face the demons of your past if you're willing to try. The old Erestor never let anyone help him."

"I'm scared, Celeborn. I'm scared of who I am and who I was and what I've done…gods, is there any way I can take any of it back?"

Celeborn smiled. "No. But we're all here for you." He raised his hand and delicately caressed Erestor's cheek, down his neck, gently teasing him.

Erestor smirked in that dirty way he used to as he grabbed Celeborn's hand. "What do you think you're doing?"

Without much difficulty, Celeborn pulled Erestor down so that they lay side-by-side. Leaning over to whisper in Erestor's ear, he said, "I want you to be happy." If he had not known that Elrond loved Erestor, he would have pushed this further.

Erestor allowed himself to relax, leaning against Celeborn, feeling safe and secure for the first time in a long while. "Are you trying to seduce me?"

"I already have, in the past. I don't think there's any need for it right now," replied Celeborn in a teasing voice. It would be so easy to pretend that this Erestor was the old one, the one that he could sleep with without any regret or remorse. But this Erestor was innocent at heart and wouldn't understand the casual sex that Celeborn wanted from him right now. "Get up, I shouldn't be doing this."

"Why?" Erestor was quite comfortable right now and wasn't in the mood to get up and work.

"Because your heart is not free."

Erestor drew the correct conclusions. "Elrond and I…are we lovers?" He had to know this, as no one had seemed to want to give him a straight answer.

"No," said Celeborn. "You never let him, he was practically the only elf in Imladris you didn't sleep with. But he loves you, more than he loves life itself." He wasn't sure if Elrond would want Erestor to know that, but the truth had to come out sooner or later.

"Do I love him?"

"I don't know…someone hurt you in the past…no one knows who, though we all have our thoughts on the matter…you don't let yourself love anyone. That's why you wouldn't sleep with Elrond, because he wanted love…"

"And I just wanted sex?"

"Yes. But Elrond was getting there. I think you were beginning to let him into your heart right before your accident."

"I don't remember any of this. Thank you for telling me." Acting on instincts he didn't know he had, he leaned down and pressed a light kiss on Celeborn's lips. He hadn't been prepared for Celeborn's reaction. One of Celeborn's hands shot up behind his head, holding him in place as he forced the kiss to deepen. The other pulled Erestor closer, rubbing Erestor's back.

The kiss lasted quite a while, and Celeborn frowned when it ended. "We shouldn't have done that."

Erestor licked his lips and sat up. "I enjoyed that," he said. Now he rose to his feet and grinned at Celeborn. "I hope you get better quickly." Then he walked out.

Celeborn closed his eyes and smiled like an idiot as he heard Erestor leave. Though he knew that he couldn't expect that to happen again, it was damn good while it lasted.

* * *

No one had come to see him for more than a day. While that didn't bother him much, he was by nature curious. So he got out of bed and began to explore. He didn't know what he was looking for, but that didn't matter. His memories were slowly returning, and he could tell that there was something he should be able to piece together about his identity, but it remained just out of his grasp, like a word on the tip of the tongue.

Most of the elves gave him strange looks, but they all seemed to assume he was supposed to be there and did not question him. After a while, he realized that he was completely and hopelessly lost. He tried to retrace his steps but found that that just got him more lost. He didn't want to ask anyone for help, because he wanted to figure this out for himself.

Eventually, he began to recognize some of the rooms. He smiled as he realized he was getting closer to his bed.

Then he walked in the wrong door.

It took him a moment to realize that it was the wrong room. As he looked around, though, he realized that it definitely was. It was another one of the healing wards, but most definitely not the one he had come from. He began to back towards the door, hoping that no one noticed him, when he heard a voice say, "Tingil!"

"That's not my name," he replied automatically, turning towards the voice. He frowned for a moment as he tried to remember the elf's name.

Celeborn nodded. "Very well. What am I to call you?"

He shrugged. "I do not know."

Celeborn sighed. "What are you doing wandering around like this?"

"I was bored…I am not sick and I refused to be confined in my bed."

"Ah." Celeborn could understand that. He was injured, yet he already hated sitting uselessly in bed. There was so much that needed to be done. "Come here, then. Tell me, what do you remember?"

"I have more memories of what Lord Elrond tells me is Lothlorien."

"You have memories of Lorien?" asked Celeborn skeptically. He was kept aware of any visitors to his home and knew that this Man was not one of them.

"Yes…I think I lived there."

Celeborn was not convinced, but there was little he could do to dissuade the Man. Memories were memories. "Anything else?"

"Yes…I remember many elves…but one stands out in my mind…he has such sad eyes…but he is so beautiful…"

"Erestor?" demanded Celeborn, a little too harshly.

He nodded. "Yes, that sounds right."

"How on Arda do you know Erestor?" There was something about this Man that he felt that he should be realizing, but it was just out of his grasp. As he continued to talk with the Man, he felt that he was growing closer and closer to some unknown conclusion. Eventually, the Man left, but Celeborn knew that he would seek him out again. There was something about the Man that sparked something deep within Celeborn.

* * *

"Can you tell me, Elrohir, why you're doing this? How could you try to kill Celeborn?" Elladan glared at his younger twin. Elrohir had done some pretty stupid things in the past, but this surpassed them all. "What madness has taken you over?"

"Elladan, you'll never understand."

"What? Just because you spent some time with that rebel group…"

"My _bonded_ is the leader."

"Fine. Why would you want to give all of this up?"

"Because everyone can't have it."

"What do you mean?"

"We leave in our ignorant bliss while there are so many out there that can't afford to eat…can't afford to live."

"That's not our fault, Elrohir. It's their own."

"See, that's what you don't get. It is our fault. We know…father knows about this, but he sits there and does nothing! That's what all of this is about. Giving back to those who need it, rather than us keeping it all. What makes us so much better?"

Elladan couldn't answer that question. He thought about it for a few seconds. "I don't know that we are better, Elrohir…but there has to be a better way to go about doing this. Violence doesn't solve problems, it creates them. If you can just get this lunatic that you call your bonded…"

Elrohir jumped up and threw himself at his brother. Weakened by his time in the cell, though, Elladan easily threw him off. Elrohir sat on the ground, a murderous glare on his face. "Don't you dare…"

"You love him, don't you?" Elladan shook his head. "Anyway, if you can convince him to back down, then maybe we can all talk and sort this out."

"But you never do talk. You say you will, but as soon as we agreed to back down, you'd arrest us all and then all mention of talking would cease."

"Now you're siding with them? Elrohir, you're my brother and I love you, but this madness has got to stop. We're going to keep you here until this crisis is over because you're too damn unpredictable. Please understand that we're doing this to you for your own good."

"No," said Elrohir with a sneer. "You're doing it for your own good."

* * *

Erestor was sitting over a stack of parchments, studying them thoughtfully, when the memory struck him. He was alone in the room, so none saw his eyes glaze over or his head drop to rest on the desk.

_He was on a battlefield. The skies were dark above him and the screams of so many filled the air. The air itself was so heavy, so foul that it hurt to breathe it in. The sword he was carrying was covered in blood and so was he. _

_Elrond came up to him. "Are you well, Erestor?" he asked, looking extremely concerned. Piercing eyes ran across Erestor's body, quickly locating the injury. "You're wounded, Erestor! Come with me."_

_He followed, not because he cared, but because Elrond had ordered him to. They crossed the ground that had so recently been the site of a bloody battle. Now the battle was over; it had been won, but Erestor could tell that losses had been heavy._

"_Sit down," Elrond commanded when they reached his tent._

_Erestor sat down. He loved spending time around Elrond, even if he didn't have the guts to admit it. A smile appeared on his face, as Elrond gently laid him down and removed his shirt. Erestor thought about how nice it would be for Elrond to be doing this in passion and not because he was a healer. "That feels good," he murmured as Elrond rubbed a soothing cream over the site of the wound on his shoulder._

_He didn't miss Elrond's smile. "You need to relax," Elrond said. "I always see you at the heart of the fighting. It's almost as if you're asking to be killed. And I don't want to find your body on one of these battlefields."_

_Erestor fell silent at that. There were some things that Elrond could never find out. This awkward silence continued until Elrond began to stitch the wound shut. Erestor gasped in pain._

_Elrond grimaced at the sound, but continued. "I don't want to hurt you, mellon, but this has to be done. There will be less scarring. Please trust me." He finished as quickly as he could. "There. Done now."_

_Erestor sat up and smiled at Elrond. "Thank you. You are a good friend to me."_

"_You are more than deserving of as many friends as you can find."_

_Erestor grinned. "If you're not careful, Lord Elrond, you will convince me that you are trying to seduce me."_

_Elrond returned the grin. "Get out of here." He handed Erestor his shirt and Erestor put it on. Part of him wanted to lay claim to more of Elrond's time, but he knew he didn't deserve it. Without another word, he left._

Erestor sat up, a frown on his face. The feelings that he had experienced during that memory were completely alien to him. He couldn't imagine feeling that worthless, that undeserving of anything. Now he knew that, as Celeborn had said, there was something in his past that had skewed his entire perception of the world. Though he did not actually know what the event might have been, he couldn't imagine what it might have been.

And now he knew that he loved Elrond. That was undisputedly clear to him. The feelings that had coursed through his veins at Elrond simply touching him were enough to convince him of that. He was reasonably sure that Elrond returned those feelings, just as Celeborn had said.

Erestor really wished that he knew what it was that had troubled him so much. With his new outlook on life, he would be more than ready to ask help from others. Everyone seemed more than willing to give it a try.

He shook his head. There was work that he had to do. Later he could think about what all this might mean. Until then, though, Imladris was only kept running because people worked to make sure it did. There was an incredible number of things that had to be seen to, and Erestor knew that he couldn't afford to slack off.

* * *

Elladan needed to release his nervous tension somewhere, so he headed to the practice yard. The only problem was that it was unlikely anyone who could prove a challenge to him would be there. His brother was his equal with a sword, but he was unavailable. Celeborn was similarly indisposed. And Legolas and Erestor would be busy working. So he knew that while he might be able to deal with his emotions a little, he wouldn't be able to forget them.

Until he saw that Esgaldur was there, calmly wiping down a sword. Elladan approached him. "Esgaldur, may I ask you a favor?"

Esgaldur looked up. "Elladan, what can I do for you?"

"I just need to work off some tension. You're probably the only elf here that is my equal with a sword…"

"Your equal? Elladan, I am far better than you," said Esgaldur with a mocking smile as he rose to his feet. "Come on, then. I'll show you what it means to be good with a sword."

And show Elladan he did. Six times Elladan was disarmed before he finally called it quits. Panting in exhaustion, he grinned at Esgaldur. "Thank you," he said. "This is exactly what I needed."

Esgaldur looked very concerned. "Do you want to talk sometime? I mean, I probably can't help you much, but I can listen to you. It's obvious that something is troubling you greatly."

Elladan was hesitant to take Esgaldur up on that offer. He was a very independent person and only liked to rely on people like Elrohir and his father. Still, neither of them were really available right now. And Esgaldur was offering… "Okay. Thank you."

Esgaldur smiled. "Come see me after the evening meal and we will talk."

Elladan nodded. "You can be sure that I will."

* * *

"Tell me something, Celeborn," said Legolas, looking frankly at the older elf. "Would it be stupid for me to fall for an elf that was completely unavailable?"

Celeborn thought about his attraction to both Elrond and Erestor. "I think that it would depend on how unavailable they were. Relationships end. One should never give up hope." Celeborn wondered who Legolas had fallen for. He hoped it wasn't Erestor. Erestor was unavailable enough as it was without yet another elf lusting after him.

"He is bonded."

Celeborn closed his eyes. Of all people, why did Legolas have to go and choose Elrohir? "Why Elrohir?"

Legolas smiled; he should have known that Celeborn would easily figure it out. "I don't know. Do you know why you fell in love with Haldir?"

"Point taken. I would be careful around Elrohir. Not only because…well, he at least was around when I was stabbed, but because he's young and volatile. I don't think that it would be impossible, and I urge you not to give up hope, but don't expect too much."

"Thanks for the optimism."

"I'm just telling it how it is."

Legolas nodded. "I'll think about it. But, above all, I do know that I love Elrohir and I will fight for that love. I won't give up on it easily."

* * *

author's note: sorry that this is taking so long to write. i;ve just recently got a very busy life and can't devote as much of my time to writing as i'd like. 


	28. Elven Hearts Part 4

A/N: This is dedicated to one of my fans. You know who you are.

* * *

Belegtur had heard about it, as had nearly everyone else. He was the only one, though, that knew the falsity of the charge. Elrohir had had no part in stabbing Celeborn. Belegtur regretted leaving Elrohir there to suffer, but he knew that if he was caught, they would put him to death without another thought.

That was not to say that Belegtur was averse to rescuing him. In fact, that was exactly what he planned to do. But that would take time and planning. Belegtur was reasonably sure that they wouldn't kill Elrohir like they would him, which gave him a little more time. Not infinite, though, as he was nearly certain that Elrohir would be sent away from Imladris. And that would just make his life miserable.

What he needed, more than anything was a plan. It was annoying to have to waste time on this, as there was a more essential mission at stake, but Elrohir _was_ his bonded, and Belegtur figured that it was the least he could do to not make Elrohir pay for his crimes.

* * *

Elladan didn't really know why he was outside Esgaldur's door. The elf was hardly a friend, yet he had somehow slipped into everyone's confidence within a week of arriving. There was definitely something peculiar about this elf, yet it was the kind of peculiar that went unremarked and nearly unnoticed. Yet he raised his hand and knocked lightly.

Esgaldur opened the door after a few seconds, smiled, and let the younger elf in. "Please, sit down."

Elladan nodded and took a seat. "I'm not sure why I'm here." It was best to just tell the truth.

"You looked stressed earlier. Not all stress can be erased through physical activity like sword play. Mental stress still remains. It is easier to get rid of that stress if you talk about it with someone. Normally, I'm sure you'd turn to your brother or your father. Unfortunately, both are incapacitated. Then you'd probably turn to your grandfather or a friend such as Erestor. Both of them are too busy, have similar stress, and have their own problems to worry about. That leaves me."

Elladan smiled. "I suppose it does." He paused, trying to gather in his mind all that was weighing down on him so that it would come out coherently rather than an inane babble. "So, where would you like me to start?"

Esgaldur grinned. "How about the beginning?"

* * *

_He had been reckless, as usual. Only this time he hadn't been quite as lucky. His body felt like it was on fire. There were so many wounds dotted all over his body. Time and time again he had been struck, but he had refused to stop fighting, refused to give in to the pain until the battle was over. He was no stranger to pain and refused to let it conquer him as it had so many times in the past. He had vague memories of Elrond finding him. Though he recalled little of what Elrond said to him, he knew that it had been warm and kind._

_In a state of bleary half-consciousness, he realized that there was someone sitting beside him, holding his hand. Too sore to try to react, he relaxed and let himself sink into the soothing sensations of the half-sleep he was in the midst of. _

_This half-sleep, though, did not prevent him from hearing a voice. It took him a moment to realize that the voice was talking to him._

"_Mellon, how could you be so foolish? I knew that you cared little about your life…the Valar only know why, but this was sheer recklessness. Do you know how many people care about you and were devastated to find out you were here? I am not the only one that loves you, mellon." There was a long pause. "You can't die, Erestor. I won't let you. If it ever comes that close, I'll bond with you and pull you back. I can't let you go. I don't know why you are the way you are and I don't know who hurt you, but I would give my life to see your beautiful eyes open again. Please do not leave me, Erestor. I could not bear the sting of that loss."_

_Erestor knew that he should work himself up to a state where he could respond. Making his best effort, he finally managed to say, "Elrond…what are…you doing here?"_

"_I'm here because you're here, mellon. You were wounded and you are my strategist. It is in my best interests to see you alive."_

_Erestor could not miss the change in Elrond's tone. Before, Elrond had been loving, even passionate. Now he was business-like. Not cold, but more formal than would be required for a friend. "Will I…live?"_

"_You'd better. Now, I must leave, mellon, but I shall return in the morning." _

After a healthy pause, once he was sure that Elrond was gone, Erestor murmured, "Don't leave me, either."

Erestor woke up from the vivid dream that he knew was a memory. He sat up in bed and ran a hand through his hair. Why had the two of them not just admitted their feelings? Maybe none of this would have happened. Erestor laughed at that thought. There was obviously still some clue, hidden deep within his past, that explained his odd actions. Perhaps there was something in Elrond's past, too, though he would probably never know the truth of that.

What he did know was that Elrond had been there for him when he had been injured. He owed it to Elrond to visit him. Not caring about the fact that it was the middle of the night, Erestor got up and threw some clothes on. Fumbling in the dark, he grabbed a candle and managed to burn himself only twice trying to get the thing lit.

Finally, he was heading down the faintly lit hallways. It took only a few minutes for him to make his way to Elrond's room; he had not failed to notice that their rooms were closer together than even Elrond's sons' rooms were to Elrond. There was a guard outside the door, but the guard let him in without a word.

The room was dark and Elrond had obviously been moved into bed. It wasn't clear whether he was sleeping or not, as he seemed comatose whether asleep or awake. Setting the candle carefully aside, Erestor walked over to the bed and sat down beside Elrond. He took Elrond's hand and kissed it gently. Lying down, he gathered Elrond into his arms. "Sleep well, mellon," he murmured.

* * *

"Wake up, Legolas," a voice said urgently.

Legolas sat up, rubbing at his eyes, and searched the room for the unwelcome intruder. It was Celeborn. "What are you doing up, Celeborn?" he asked. "You should be in bed. You're not…"

"I don't care, Legolas. I refuse to be confined to bed when there is so much happening here. But that's not why I came here. Erestor's not in his room."

Legolas mumbled a curse under his breath and got up, slipping quickly into some clothes. "Where have you looked for him already?"

"I haven't." Celeborn smirked. "I just know he's not in his room."

Legolas sighed and asked patiently, "What were you doing in his room in the first place?"

"I was going to wake him up." There was no mistaking the meaning of those words.

"Right," said Legolas. "Where are we going to look?"

"We should split up." They headed out of Legolas's room. "I'll check Elrond's room, you check his study and the library."

Legolas frowned, sensing that there was a deeper meaning to that. "Make sure to check on Elrond while you're there."

Celeborn nodded. "Of course." They parted, and Celeborn reached Elrond's room quickly. He opened the door quietly for some reason. He knew that Elrond would not be able to hear him anyway, but still he did it, probably out of habit more than anything else.

He stepped inside and immediately smiled when he caught sight of them. A small spark of jealousy also throbbed within him as well. Elrond and Erestor were curled up like lovers. It brought back memories.

_It was probably more out of drunkenness and loneliness that they had ended up here. Both of them had drunk too much at the party. Elrond had recently ended a relationship and Celeborn had had a nasty fight with Galadriel. Somehow, they had ended up here in Elrond's bed._

_Celeborn woke that morning with precisely no recollection of what happened. All he knew was that the body beside him was definitely not Galadriel's. That set him to wondering who it was. Forcing himself to a state of alertness, he slowly turned to look at his bedmate. He sat up abruptly when he realized it was Elrond. The sudden movement woke Elrond up, as well, who looked just as surprised. But he recovered first. He grinned lazily, seductively, and said, "Good morning, Celeborn."_

_That smile meant it took a few seconds for Celeborn to find his voice. "What happened last night?"_

_Apparently, Elrond had a better memory of last night, because he reached up, grabbed Celeborn's shoulder and pulled him back down. He kissed Celeborn's neck, delicately tracing a path up to his ear. When he finally reached it, he whispered, "Well, you suggested that it was best not for two Elf Lords to pass out in front of others and suggested we find somewhere more appropriate. I proposed my bedroom and you agreed. We came up here and you fucked me. Then we fell asleep. And now we are here." He moved away, lying on his back and staring up at Celeborn. "So where does that leave us?"_

_Celeborn bit his lip. He had always been particularly aware of Elrond's beauty and was glad that he had finally slept with him, even if he couldn't actually recall it. What he would like to do, more than anything, would be to make love to him. Instead, he sat up again. "I don't know," he admitted truthfully._

_Elrond raised his eyebrow. "Are you going somewhere?." His hand fished around under the blanket and eventually found Celeborn's thigh. "I don't have to be up for hours yet, and neither do you."_

_Celeborn closed his eyes. He knew that he would regret this moment for the rest of his life. "No, Elrond, tis better if we end this now."_

_Elrond did not look convinced. "And why would that be?"_

"_Last night, I'm sure, was fun…but that's all it can be. I won't deny that I find you beautiful, but I live in Lorien, and you in Imladris."_

"_That can be worked around," said Elrond in a matter-of-fact, practical tone of voice. "And I refuse to believe that that is a good enough reason."_

"_Mmm," said Celeborn. "How about this, then? I am bonded. And I know my wife is scheming for Celebrian to bond with you."_

_Elrond pulled a face. "Delightful. But I think you're avoiding the real reason." _

_Celeborn sighed. "If I were to…if we were to have anything together…I couldn't bear for it to be a one-night stand. But that's what it would have to be. We would never have a real relationship." He leaned down and captured a sweet kiss, then rose from bed. "I am sorry, Elrond."_

He shook the memory from his mind. Ever since that night so long ago, Elrond and he had been carefully formal to each other when they met. Celeborn knew that Galadriel knew about it, but she had never commented on it. It had just kind of faded away, but Celeborn had never been completely able to dismiss it. Vaguely, he wondered if Elrond ever thought about it. He doubted it.

As he approached the bed, Erestor began to wake up. Celeborn smiled at him and sat down. Erestor began to sit up and then realized that he had someone clinging tightly to him. That struck both of them as peculiar. Elrond had shown no voluntary motion over the past few days and now he had a death grip on Erestor's waist. As Erestor began to pull away from Elrond, a remarkable thing happened.

Elrond stirred, and opened unfocused eyes. He saw blurry forms above him. His mouth was too dry to be able to talk. Fortunately, one of these elves seemed to realize this and a cup was thrust into his hand. After taking a few cautious sips of water and focusing a little more, he recognized both elves. "Celeborn, Erestor, what are you doing here." After a moment's pause, he asked, "What am I doing here?"

Celeborn answered, "You had a breakdown, mellon. You've been out of it for three days. We've been trying to take care of you. How do you feel?"

Elrond thought about that. "I feel…complete, alive." He attempted to sit up, but his muscles were so stiff that he couldn't. "And sore," he gasped. "Very sore."

Celeborn smiled. "Hungry?"

Elrond nodded. "That too."

"I'll get some food, then." He rose from the bed and left the room, giving Erestor and Elrond a chance to be alone.

* * *

Elladan was heading down to breakfast when he saw Celeborn out of bed. "You should be in bed, Celeborn," he said, walking over to the older elf.

"Your father is awake," said Celeborn. "I'm getting him some breakfast…and no, you can't go see him right now. Go after breakfast. He's very weak right now. I don't want to overexcite him."

Elladan quickly saw through that. "What you mean is that Erestor is with my father, don't you?"

Slowly, Celeborn nodded. "Yes." After an short, awkward pause, Celeborn asked, "So did you do as we asked, and seek out Esgaldur?"

Elladan nodded, watching as Celeborn retrieved things from around the kitchen. It was amazing, but his grandfather seemed to know exactly where everything was. "Yes, we practiced in the yard, and then later we talked in his room…tell me, Celeborn, how is that this elf that none of us know anything about, has become so important in Imladris so quickly?"

Celeborn considered Elladan's question and realized that he had no answer to it. "I don't know, Elladan," he said. "Perhaps…he became useful to us after Erestor's accident and through his skilful handling of that, he won Elrond's trust." He realized what garbage that was, and said, "No, I really have no answer."

Elladan grinned. "I know. That's the problem."

Celeborn frowned. There was no mistaking that telltale sparkle in Elladan's eyes. "You like him, don't you?"

Elladan bit his lip. It was too early in the morning for a lecture. "I don't know, Celeborn…and I know that father won't approve, but…"

Celeborn leaned in close. "Whatever outward appearance your father presents, that is solely for the public eye. I know for a fact that more than anything else, he would want you to be happy. Don't worry about whether your father would approve or not. Go for it."

Elladan grinned brilliantly. "Thank you."

Celeborn laughed to himself as the young elf practically bounced out of the room. He reckoned it wouldn't be all that long before Elladan managed to capture Esgaldur's heart. Still chuckling to himself, he finished gathering everything on a tray and headed back to Elrond's room.

* * *

Elrond searched Erestor's face. Had Erestor finally come back to his senses? It appeared unlikely; there was still that sparkle in Erestor's eyes that had always been absent. Sighing softly, he said, "Erestor, have you…"

"Am I better? No, my lord, I am not. Celeborn and Legolas have told me something of my past, though, and I do dream about my past on occasion. There are a lot of things missing, though."

Elrond frowned. "I told them not to help you remember. I wanted the process to be natural."

"They had to. After you broke down, they wanted me to help relieve some of the burden of the work they had. I was their only logical choice." There was a brief pause. "I am sorry, my lord, that I have forced this burden on you. I am your Chief Advisor and I have let you down…"

"You're talking nonsense," said Elrond, reluctant to move. He still ached and didn't know how long the pain would remain. He would give anything for a massage (especially one from Erestor), but he knew better than to ask.

Erestor proved once again how perceptive he was when he asked, "Do you need a massage, my lord? That might relieve some of the tension from your muscles." When Elrond nodded, Erestor said, "Roll on to your stomach, my lord. That would be easier."

Elrond did as he was told and rested his head on his forearms. He thought about how nice this would be if Erestor was in full control of his memories. For Erestor to be doing this for sexual reasons instead of purely friendly ones. When Elrond felt Erestor's cool hands on his tense muscles, he arched his back and smiled to himself. Slowly, Erestor began to work the tension out of the muscles.

Elrond heard the door open and assumed it was Celeborn. He felt Erestor's hands leave him and rolled back over, feeling a lot better. Celeborn was eyeing both of them with amusement and (Elrond couldn't help but notice) a certain amount of lust. He remembered back to the night he and Celeborn had spent together. He had always regretted that nothing more had come of it. "Do you want something?" he asked.

Celeborn knew that there were many answers to that question, and he wasn't quite sure which one Elrond wanted to hear. So he opted for the safest one. "No, I just brought you up your breakfast. You need to build up your strength. Erestor, you need to eat, too." Celeborn had never participated in a threesome before, but would be more than willing to indulge Erestor and Elrond.

Erestor mumbled a word of displeasure when he left the bed and retrieved the tray that Celeborn had, for some reason, refused to actually bring over to them. "What work is there to be done today, Celeborn?" he asked as he buttered a piece of toast.

"You're not working today," said Elrond firmly. "I won't let you."

Celeborn grimaced. He knew what was coming. Part of him thought that it would be best to leave, but something tied him down and so he remained to listen to their fight.

"You won't _let_ me? Since when have I needed your permission to work?" demanded Erestor, getting up from the bed.

Elrond attempted to grab Erestor's arm, but missed. "Listen to me, Erestor. You are still recovering…"

"I'm not an invalid, Elrond…"

"You're not right in the head…"

"Are you insinuating…"

"No, I'm just…"

"Well, I don't want to hear…"

"I am your lord and…"

"That has never meant anything to me…"

"I'm so sick of you…"

"Very well. I'm leaving, then." Erestor, having forsaken his usual control, stormed out of the room

Celeborn glared at Elrond. "I must say, you handled that wonderfully."

Elrond laid back on the bed, his eyes closed. "Please don't lecture me, Celeborn. I'm tired and I'm worried about Erestor. I love him and I want him back in my life."

"Well, you do a remarkably poor job of showing it…"

"I'm just concerned about him!"

"Then don't try to baby him. He needs your support, not your censure." Celeborn sat down next to Elrond, took his hand. "In a way, you are as much an invalid as him. You're staying in bed today…"

"No, I'm not…"

"I'm not giving you a choice, Elrond. I'm going to station guards outside the door. You're not leaving today. I'll send Erestor in to talk to you as soon as I find him and you will apologize to him."

"Are you trying to act like my father?"

"You need it." Celeborn couldn't help himself, he leaned down and kissed Elrond. What surprised him more than anything was that Elrond kissed him back, wrapping an arm around his back and pulling him closer. The kiss finally ended when both elves ran out of air. Celeborn grinned at Elrond. "Now, there's work that I need to get done. I'll be back later."

* * *

Legolas had a look of dismay on his face when Celeborn walked into their study a few minutes later. Concerned, Celeborn asked, "What's wrong?"

Legolas held up a piece of paper. "My father has demanded that I return. He has threatened to disown me unless I do so. He claims that I have remained here far too long and have duties in Mirkwood that I am shirking. I am," he looked down at the letter, " 'forgetting my obligations and acting like an irresponsible Elfling'. I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Well," said Celeborn practically. "I think that you should go home. I think we can handle things here now."

Legolas shook his head. "If it were just that…it would be easy for me to leave."

Celeborn knew precisely what Legolas was talking about. "Elrohir," he said. "You feel you have to remain because of him."

"What's going to happen to him?"

Celeborn shook his head. "I don't have a clue. We will have to see. Elrond will not order his son executed, I feel that it is safe to say that. He may banish Elrohir, there. If he does do that, I can see if I can press for the banishment to be to Mirkwood. Then he would be with you."

"That would not change the fact that he is bonded!"

"He will only be bonded as long as Belegtur lives. And Elrond will hunt down that elf. I feel that it is safe to say that Elrohir will not be a bonded elf for long."

"You forget something else, Celeborn. When Elrond slays Belegtur, it does not mean that Elrohir is simply released from the bond. He will be pulled along with Belegtur; I have met the elf, he is far stronger than Elrohir. That is what I fear."

Celeborn frowned. "Why would your presence help any, then?"

"I heard Elrond discussing it with Elrohir. If there is another to step in and create a new bond as soon as the old one is severed, he will have the strength required."

"Ah, and you wish to be this other elf."

"Precisely."

"And does Elrohir know how you feel about him?"

"Yes."

Celeborn nodded. "Well, in that case, I support you remaining in Imladris, but your father and I have never been particularly close. My support would mean nothing to him, and neither would Elrond's. I know not what you should do, what you should tell him."

Legolas held his head high. "I shall simply tell him that I plan to remain here. He may do whatever he wishes to me."

"He will disown you, Legolas. I know that much about your father."

A momentary look of sorrow flickered onto Legolas's face, but disappeared quickly. "I don't care. I am sure that there will always be a place for me here in Imladris. I care not what my father does. To me, love is far more important than titles. Love is all that matters."


End file.
